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17 Again 2009

Mike O Donnell: Scarlet, before you go through this, I want to remind you of September 7th, 1988. It was the first time that I saw you. You were reading Less Than Zero, and you were wearing a Guns n Roses t-shirt. Id never seen anything so perfect. I remember thinking that I had to have you or Id die... then you whispered that you loved me at the homecoming dance, and I felt so peaceful... and safe... because I knew that no matter what happened, from that day on, nothing can ever be that bad... because I had you. And then I, uh... I grew up and I lost my way. And I blamed you for my failures. And I know that you think you have to do this today... but I dont want you to. But I guess... if I love you, I should let you move on.[pretending to read a letter to Scarlet in divorce court]
17 Again 2009 love
Mike O Donnell: When youre young everything feels like the end of the world. But its not; its just the beginning. You might have to meet a few more jerks, but one day youre gonna meet a boy who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. Like the sun rises and sets with you.[Talking to Maggie on the bleachers]
17 Again 2009 world
[from trailer]Ned Freedman: What are you eating?Mike O Donnell: I dont even know, all I know is that Im hungry...[squrits Cheez-Whiz into his mouth]Mike O Donnell: ... *all* the time.
17 Again 2009 time
Mike O Donnell: [after being transformed] Come on, man! Dont you ever wanna go back and do high school again?Ned Freedman: No. Im rich and no one has shoved my head in a toilet today!
17 Again 2009 man
Mike O Donnell: [the girls are mercilessly trying to seduce him] Listen, girls. If you dont respect yourself, how do you expect others to respect you?Lauren: Dont respect me.Samantha: No! Dont respect *me*.Jaime: You dont even have to remember my name!Lauren: [In shock] Okay, wow.Samantha: Yeah, thats like, *really* slutty.
17 Again 2009 self
Alex ODonnell: [In the school restroom] Uh... can I get a little help in here?Mike O Donnell: Alex? How did this? Who did this to you?Alex ODonnell: The basketball team.Mike O Donnell: But why? Youre one of them, youre popularAlex ODonnell: Look this is kinda personal and I dont know you.Mike O Donnell: Im sorry, Im Mark Gold, your uncle Neds kid. I just started here.Alex ODonnell: Oh... cool... cool. Yeah, Id shake your hand, but its taped to my ass.
17 Again 2009 art
Mike O Donnell: [meets Scarletts date] Carnations? What a douche!Scarlett ODonnell: Mark!Dean: Thats okay, Im a single dad. Its totally normal for sons to feel weird with their moms date. Stepping in their dads shoes protecting their castle.Scarlett ODonnell: Hes not my son.Dean: Oh, then thats weird.Scarlett ODonnell: It is.
17 Again 2009 sin
Alex ODonnell: [after watching Mike dance with Scarlet] Do you dance with all your friends moms?Mike O Donnell: [Walking away casually] Pretty much...
17 Again 2009 friends
Alex ODonnell: [introducing young mike to his mother for the first time] Hey mom this is Mark, Uncle Neds bastard.Scarlett ODonnell: Wow...Alex ODonnell: I know someone had a kid with Uncle Ned[shudders]Alex ODonnell: .
17 Again 2009 time
Mike ODonnell: Look, try to see things from my point of view. Im extremely disappointed with my life!Scarlett ODonnell: I never asked you to marry me!Mike ODonnell: Yeah, but i did.Scarlett ODonnell: Well, you dont have to do me any favors then. Were not gonna hold each other back anymore. okay?Mike ODonnell: Scar...Scarlett ODonnell: Ill see you in court
17 Again 2009 life
Ned Freedman: You look like a douche.Mike ODonnell: I do not look like a *douche*.Guy from School: [in background referring to Mike ODonnell] What a douche.
17 Again 2009 man
Ned Freedman: I think our hands just made a baby.
17 Again 2009 man
Ned Gold: [looks at mikes clothes] What are you wearing?Mike O Donnell: This is cool. This is hip. Theres a picture of Kevin Federline wearing the exact same thing. What are you wearing? Youre supposed to show up like a dad, you look like Clay AikenNed Gold: Leave him out of this.
17 Again 2009 you
Stan: [after Mikes speech about abstinence and making love, the girls put the free condoms back in the basket] I dont need this.Stan: [grabs a bunch of condoms from the basket] Great, fine. more for me, i got enough for the whole weekend.
17 Again 2009 love
Mike O Donnell: Alex, what happened at the tryouts? How did it go?Alex ODonnell: It was good, Mark had a great tryout he played great.Mike O Donnell: Yeah.Alex ODonnell: And so did I, I made the team!Scarlett ODonnell: Oh, thats great Im so proud of you![hugs Alex]Mike O Donnell: [joins them] You looked great out there.Scarlett ODonnell: Oh Mark thats super inappropriate.
17 Again 2009 good
Mike O Donnell: See you later N*eye*omi!Naomi: Its N*ay*omi!Mike O Donnell: Dont care.
17 Again 2009 you
Maggie ODonnell: Youre different then the other guys!Mike O Donnell: [hyperventilating] Yes, yes, very very different! So different that we could never ever ever be togother!Maggie ODonnell: [sits down] Oh, are you confused?Mike O Donnell: Well... yes I am very confused right now!Maggie ODonnell: Oh, I get it. I should have known I mean your hair is always so sculpted and dude, your pants are really tight!Mike O Donnell: ...Im not gay!
17 Again 2009 you
Mike O Donnell: [When Ned finds young Mike in his house, and thinking its an intruder they end up fighting with light sabers] . Its me, Mike ODonnell, your best friend.Mike O Donnell: [Trying to prove that Its him] . You have an undescended testicle.Ned Freedman: Googlable.Mike O Donnell: You helped me cheat on a math test, but I got caught.Ned Freedman: Public records.Mike O Donnell: You asked Princess Leia to Junior Prom.Ned Freedman: Covered by the local news.
17 Again 2009 light
Ned Freedman: Its a classic transformation story. Are you now or have you ever been a Norse God, Vampire, or Time Traveling Cyborg?Mike O Donnell: I have know you since what, first grade? I think that maybe I would have told you!Ned Freedman: Vampire wouldnt tell, Cyborg wouldnt know.
17 Again 2009 god
Mike O Donnell: If this were Afganistan, you would be pulled backwards through the streets by mountain goats with your hands cut off... just saying.[talking to Naomi about getting Alex mom a new man in front of him]
17 Again 2009 war
Ned Freedman: Soooo, what did we learn in school today?Mike O Donnell: That Im a bad dad.
17 Again 2009 man
Janitor: [Mike is staring at his old basketball team picture] Mike ODonell!Mike ODonnell: Do I know you?Janitor: No, but I know you.Mike ODonnell: Oh, yeah?Janitor: High school star, never quite lived up to your potential. Sooner or later you all come back to your old school, stand there and look at the picture of the glory days wondering What might have been. Seems to me you guys are living in the past.Mike ODonnell: Well, of course I wanna live in the past. It was better there...Janitor: I bet you wish you could do it all over again?Mike ODonnell: You got that right.
17 Again 2009 living
Mrs. Dell: Okay, today we will be continuing our discussion with human sexuality and us we discussed the official school policy abstinence.Mike O Donnell: Now that is very sensible! Im glad some here has there head screwed on straight! I think all of us should make a pact to abstain from sex! now whos with me? You guys come on.[the whole class laughs]Mike O Donnell: Maggie?
17 Again 2009 sex
Naomi: Mike.Mike ODonnell: Nyomi.Naomi: *Nay*-omi.Mike ODonnell: I dont care.
17 Again 2009 care
Mike O Donnell: [after Alex sees his mom, Scarlett and Mark/Mike dancing] Shes just nervous... its creepy, right?Alex ODonnell: [stares at him, still weirded out] A little bit.Mike O Donnell: Shes so old; its like...[stops himself and immediately walks away]Alex ODonnell: You dance with all your friends moms?Mike O Donnell: Pretty much.
17 Again 2009 friends
Mike O Donnell: Theres no path, Ned! Theres no path. I cant do it! I just made it worse for them. My wife is happier, everyones happier with me out of the picture, Ned. Its time to move on...
17 Again 2009 time
Ned Gold: I cant act normal.Principal Jane Masterson: Clearly.Ned Gold: Im just trying to impress you. I dont come to places like this. Im a dork. Im the kind of person who spends $10,000 on Gandalf the Greys quarterstaff from the Two Towers.Principal Jane Masterson: Yes that does make you a dork. Especially since Gandalf the Grey only appears in Fellowship. He returns in Two Towers as Gandalf the White.
17 Again 2009 art
Scarlett ODonnell: [Looks at Mark] Wow.[Scarlett starts walking towards Mark]Scarlett ODonnell: Wow![Scarlett grabs Marks face and starts playing with it]Scarlett ODonnell: You look just like my husband.
17 Again 2009 war
Maggie ODonnell: Why are you dating him? Hes bullying your brotherMaggie ODonnell: Who are you, my father?
17 Again 2009 dating
Principal Jane Masterson: [Meeting principal Masterson for the first time] Hello...Ned Gold: Hi... hello.Principal Jane Masterson: [Ned wont let go of principal Mastersons hand] uhmm... I think were good here.Ned Gold: I think our hands just made a baby.Mike O Donnell: Excuse my dad, hes not used to talking... to attractive women.Principal Jane Masterson: Well. thank you...Mike O Donnell: Mark...Principal Jane Masterson: For that flattering yet inappropriate comment.Ned Gold: Before we get started i think you should know that marks a bastard.Principal Jane Masterson: Excuse me?Ned Gold: I had him out of wedlock so Im single... and very rich.
17 Again 2009 women
Principal Jane Masterson: You can plunder my dungeon anytime.Ned Freedman: Ill bring my longbow.
17 Again 2009 time
Mike ODonnell: [finds out that Scarlett is re-doing their yard] The divorce isnt final for another two weeks, so you have no right.Scarlett ODonnell: Really? I spent the last 18 years of my life listening to you whine about what you could have done without me and I have no right?Mike ODonnell: Its just that I put a lot of work in this yard.Scarlett ODonnell: Did you? Really? Like the barbecue pit? Yeah, the way I remember that is that you spent about an hour working on it and then you spent the next two days complaining about how if you had gone to college then you could have had hired someone else to do it.Mike ODonnell: I dont think it was a whole two days...Scarlett ODonnell: What about the hammock over here?Mike ODonnell: Yeah...Scarlett ODonnell: Yeah, I think you quit that one because you just decided not to try anymore.
17 Again 2009 life
Maggie ODonnell: Oh I get it. You want to play games. Okay, Ill be the hungry lioness and you can be the baby gazelle!
17 Again 2009 you
Scarlett ODonnell: Wait, I need to smell him...
17 Again 2009 need
Principal Jane Masterson: Are you peacocking?
17 Again 2009 you
Maggie ODonnell: Why is the new guy waving at me?Samantha: I dont know, but if he were an apple he would be a delicious.
17 Again 2009 man
Ned Freedman: I got you a little present. Dont worry about the cost.Mike ODonnell: [opens small box] Oh. A whistle.Ned Freedman: Dont blow it. Play big!
17 Again 2009 man
Mike O Donnell: Why are you burping?Alex ODonnell: What? I have tummy issues. Get over it!
17 Again 2009 you
Ned Gold: [speaking Elvish] So hows your salad?Principal Jane Masterson: [speaking Elvish] Good, the arugula is really fresh. So, how did you learn to speak Elvish?Ned Gold: The Learning Annex.
17 Again 2009 learning
Ned Freedman: Okay, thats not safe or sanitary. Thats your can now. Well label it like that.
17 Again 2009 man
Mike O Donnell: Oh sweet baby Jesus!
17 Again 2009 jesus
Ned Freedman: We have to go shopping, your shirt is bedazzled.Mike O Donnell: Bedazzled with rhinestones!
17 Again 2009 man

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