Mrs. Dell: Okay, today we will be continuing our discussion with human sexuality and us we discussed the official school policy abstinence.Mike O Donnell: Now that is very sensible! Im glad some here has there head screwed on straight! I think all of us should make a pact to abstain from sex! now whos with me? You guys come on.[the whole class laughs]Mike O Donnell: Maggie? .
Mike O Donnell: Alex, what happened at the tryouts? How did it go?Alex ODonnell: It was good, Mark had a great tryout he played great.Mike O Donnell: Yeah.Alex ODonnell: And so did I, I made the team!Scarlett ODonnell: Oh, thats great Im so proud of you![hugs Alex]Mike O Donnell: [joins them] You looked great out there.Scarlett ODonnell: Oh Mark thats super inappropriate. .
Mike O Donnell: [meets Scarletts date] Carnations? What a douche!Scarlett ODonnell: Mark!Dean: Thats okay, Im a single dad. Its totally normal for sons to feel weird with their moms date. Stepping in their dads shoes protecting their castle.Scarlett ODonnell: Hes not my son.Dean: Oh, then thats weird.Scarlett ODonnell: It is. .
Ned Freedman: Its a classic transformation story. Are you now or have you ever been a Norse God, Vampire, or Time Traveling Cyborg?Mike O Donnell: I have know you since what, first grade? I think that maybe I would have told you!Ned Freedman: Vampire wouldnt tell, Cyborg wouldnt know. .
Mike ODonnell: [finds out that Scarlett is re-doing their yard] The divorce isnt final for another two weeks, so you have no right.Scarlett ODonnell: Really? I spent the last 18 years of my life listening to you whine about what you could have done without me and I have no right?Mike ODonnell: Its just that I put a lot of work in this yard.Scarlett ODonnell: Did you? Really? Like the barbecue pit? Yeah, the way I remember that is that you spent about an hour working on it and then you spent the next two days complaining about how if you had gone to college then you could have had hired someone else to do it.Mike ODonnell: I dont think it was a whole two days...Scarlett ODonnell: What about the hammock over here?Mike ODonnell: Yeah...Scarlett ODonnell: Yeah, I think you quit that one because you just decided not to try anymore. .
Maggie ODonnell: Youre different then the other guys!Mike O Donnell: [hyperventilating] Yes, yes, very very different! So different that we could never ever ever be togother!Maggie ODonnell: [sits down] Oh, are you confused?Mike O Donnell: Well... yes I am very confused right now!Maggie ODonnell: Oh, I get it. I should have known I mean your hair is always so sculpted and dude, your pants are really tight!Mike O Donnell: ...Im not gay! .
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