ALF season 2

ALF: On Melmac, we only had one guy who could fix things. We put him on display in a zoo, but the door to the cage was broken, so he just walked away.

— ALF season 2 age

ALF: The kids probably going up the river as we speak. Theyll put him in solitary, feed him bread and water, topped by a delicious piece of chocolate--- Kate moves the cake cake.

— ALF season 2 water

ALF: Tell that to my cousin, Pretty Boy Shumway. He lived on the south side of Melmac. The baddest part of the planet. If he didnt like your shoes

— ALF season 2 art

Willie: To name 12 more He set a fire in the camper, he chopped up our Christmas tree, he wrecked the toaster, he ripped that painting, he dug up the backyard, he stole a car, he buried my piano, I think that was the thing hurt me the most, he got me arrested, he used our credit cards, excessively and illegally, he short-circuited the television, terrorized the cat, and he blew up the kitchen. Its not hard to imagine, that such a person would, could, and infect did kick a football through the Ochmoneks window.

— ALF season 2 pain

Professor: Oh yeah. I rigged one up using some bamboo, a couple of coconut shells and a nineteen inch picture tube that washed up on the shore. I even built a VCR.

— ALF season 2 sin

Professor: You see I noticed our blood sugar levels were getting dangerously high. Plus the fact we were sick to death of them.

— ALF season 2 death

Willie: If you let us get some sleep, I promise you well get back to this Gilligan business first thing tomorrow. And maybe, maybe well even build you a little lagoon all your own.

— ALF season 2 business

Willie: Whoa, wait wait. Dont tell me. She goes back to her own island and she leaves the castaways stranded.

— ALF season 2 will

Kate: Treat it as if it were my house, and dont break anything! goes inside the kitchen Cheap frame! feels the ripped piece I guess it can be repaired.

— ALF season 2

ALF: Its not a dream Willie, this could really happen. Hey, maybe Ill host a talk show, like David Letterman.

— ALF season 2 dream

ALF: Could too. I might even get my own TV show, a poignant drama about my generation. Well call it, 230 something.

— ALF season 2 drama

ALF: Im not a specimen. Im a spaceman. Get the teeth fixed, Boris. presses button Ahhh! I guess theres still no word from the governor. the scene fades back to home Youre living in the dark ages, Willie or Wont He.

— ALF season 2 men

ALF: Ive been poisoned, Willie. Earth germs. I saw it in War of the Worlds. Before aliens can destroy the planet, the earth germs get them.

— ALF season 2 war

ALF: What do you think? Ill have the bacon and eggs, sausage and ham, liver and onions, and chicken pot pie.

— ALF season 2 live

Willie: Its taking so long because you keep undoing everything Im doing. Would you hand me the wing nuts?

— ALF season 2 you

Professor: Oh were all familiar with your nautical record, Skipper. Youre ah, o and one, I believe.

— ALF season 2 believe

Gilligan: Yeah. How would you like to listen to the Skippers boring old navy stories over and over and over?

— ALF season 2 stories

Mary Ann: Were not. Were bored. Do you know weve been doing the same thing day in and day out for 23 years?

— ALF season 2 you

ALF: Lynne Im talking about the thrill of backbreaking manual labour. My only regret is that you cant share this thrill. Hey. Hey wait a minute. Why dont I let you shovel a couple of metric tons?

— ALF season 2 man

ALF: Yeah but I wanted to do that. This is painful to me. Have you ever had to cover your dreams with a big pile of dirt?

— ALF season 2 dreams

ALF: I cant. I tried counting castaways jumping over palm trees but the Skippers not the best of leapers.

— ALF season 2 trees

ALF: The fun never stops on Gilligans Island. Unlike some other places where the fun stopped during the Eisenhower administration.

— ALF season 2 fun

ALF: So anyway see, this big fat native girl from the next island eats Gingers lipstick. Hah, hah. Then before Gilligan can marry her

— ALF season 2 girl

Trevor: Thanks, she went ape when she found out you had a vacuum cleaner. Hey, listen. Have jeeves, give me a jingle. I might want him to paint my flamingos. he gets a banana and leaves the house

— ALF season 2 pain

ALF: Excuse me maam, but the wax isnt dry yet. If you must go into the kitchen, Ill have to carry you.

— ALF season 2 you

Trevor: Thats 6 months away. It aint your birthday. You just had your fence painted to keep up with the Ochmoneks. Well Im not gonna tell you where I brought my fluorescent flamingos.

— ALF season 2 pain

Kate: picks up the frame I am tired of your breaking things. If this happens once more, you will be living in the garage.

— ALF season 2 living

ALF: The game of Skleenball is very simple, Brian. You just sling your anchovies into your opponents laundry basket. Aw, missed!

— ALF season 2 you

Kate: I am tired of your breaking things. If this happens once more, you will be living in the garage.

— ALF season 2 living

Kate: Treat it as if it were my house, and dont break anything! Cheap frame! I guess it can be repaired.

— ALF season 2

Willie: What? Dont try to worm your way out of this one. You said wed build a lagoon. I said wed build a little lagoon, not the Great Tanner Reef!

— ALF season 2 you

Willie: A boo-boo? I want my yard back the way it was. I want trees I can trim. I want grass I can mow. No water and no hut! You are going to stay right here until I get it! Is that clear?

— ALF season 2 ya

Willie: This is Gordon, everyone. Gordons an old friend of our family. Dont mention his height. Hes very sensitive.

— ALF season 2 family

Willie: You got a hold of our guest list, didnt you. You called people and told them to wear costumes just so you could come.

— ALF season 2 people

Willie: All right go on. Go out there. I dont care. Go on. Blow your cover, thats fine! Just do me one favor.

— ALF season 2 you

Man: Hello, social services. Hold, please. Hey, Willie, call for you on line 4. Sounds like Sammy Davis, Jr.

— ALF season 2 man

ALF: Hes right. I got us into this. Ill get us out. Can I borrow $500? Ill give it back to you next payday.

— ALF season 2 you

Willie: Its probably clogged with ALFs hair again. He refuses to vacuum himself before he takes a bath.

— ALF season 2 self

ALF: Willies swimming in the lagoon I built. Its just like the one on Gilligans Island. From now on, life around here will be much more exciting.

— ALF season 2 life

Willie: A boo-boo? I want my yard back the way it was. I want trees I can trim. I want grass I can mow. NO WATER, NO HUT! YOU ARE GOING TO STAY RIGHT HERE UNTIL I GET IT! HAD I MADE THAT SELF CLEAR!

— ALF season 2 self

TV: Starting Willie Tanner as dad, Kate Tanner as mom, Lynn Tanner as their daughter, and Brian Tanner as himself. This weeks episode Brian Takes a Bath.

— ALF season 2 art

ALF: Id just started going out with Rhonda when my planet blew up. Unlucky in love, unlucky in Armageddon.

— ALF season 2 love

ALF: Really? Im surprised that song was such a big hit. continues singing Just be quiet, just be quiet, just be quiet, lala la lala lala

— ALF season 2 sin

ALF: thinks for a moment I can watch television for ten hours straight and not get up to go the bathroom.

— ALF season 2 men

ALF: Theyll put him in solitary, feed him bread and water, topped by a delicious piece of chocolate--- cake.

— ALF season 2 water

Jake: No, its just the TV. Welcome to Monday Night Football. Its Saturday! Live from New York, its Saturday--

— ALF season 2 live

ALF: Dont say that. Schools important. If you dropout, dont get anywhere in life. Youll hang around the house all day eating and watching TV.

— ALF season 2 life

ALF: I know something thatll keep you from fighting, lets re-enact the time when the headhunter came to the island. Ill be the headhunter, and Gilligan can be Gilligan.

— ALF season 2 time

Skipper: Ive got a better idea. Lets re-enact the time that ALF came to the island to help us dig. You be ALF, and start digging.

— ALF season 2 time

TV: Starting Willie Tanner as Dad, Kate Tanner as Mom, Lynn Tanner as their daughter, and Brian Tanner as himself. This weeks episode Brian Takes a Bath.

— ALF season 2 art

ALF: I dont want to be a castaway. I thought this place would be fun. Now I realize, its only fun in half hour chunks.

— ALF season 2 thought

Willie: But you wanted to be on Gilligans Island. Thats where the fun never stops. Remember? Remember? Remember?

— ALF season 2 you

ALF: I was wrong. I wanna go home. I wanna go home. I wanna go home. I wanna go home. Wanna go home. Wanna go home. Wanna go home. Wanna go home. Wanna go home. I Wanna go home.

— ALF season 2 home

ALF: My grandma Shumway once said if you cant say anything nice, dont say anything at all . . .and then she never spoke to me again.

— ALF season 2 you

Willie: Well. . . .if I were your age and if you werent my daughter and if I werent married and if I had a car back then.

— ALF season 2 age

ALF: thinking his cup contains cat juice Alas, poor Lucky. I liked him as a cat. I love him as a cocktail.

— ALF season 2 love

ALF: Oh. Thats just Nuclear Waste for my spaceship. Hey dont worry. Life on this planet will exist as long as that little lid doesnt pop off.

— ALF season 2 life

ALF: Look at this. Theyve got me wired for cable. Let me see. Which was the button for a cheeseburger? Uh Ahhh! Thats not it! Uh Ahhh! Ive got to label these buttons. Great. I wiped out half my childhood memories for celery? Hey, you! Come here.

— ALF season 2 memories

ALF: Yeah, but wouldnt it get on your nerves if all of a sudden I started singing : Hey, Kate, aint it great? Hey, Willie, you look silly. Hey -

— ALF season 2 art

ALF: Sure it will be hard on her first. Shell cry, drink a little too much. Join with a bongo player named Waquine.

— ALF season 2 hell

ALF: Fine. I have not voice in government, Waquine will get deported, and theyll make him eat beets.

— ALF season 2 men

ALF: I had a cousin. Pretty Boy Shumway. He lived on the south side of Melmac. The baddest part of the planet. If he didnt like your shoes

— ALF season 2 art

Willie: The case is simple. We have here a broken window, and a defendant with a long, long history of reckless behavior. Starting with the day he crashed his spaceship into our garage.

— ALF season 2 art

Willie: To name 12 more He set a fire in the camper, he chopped up our Christmas tree, he wrecked the toaster, he ripped that painting, he dug up the backyard, he stole a car, he buried my piano, I think that was the thing hurt me the most, he got me arrested, he used our credit cards, Excessively and illegally, he short-circuited the television, terrorized the cat, and he blew up the kitchen. Its not hard to imagine, that such a person would, could, and infect did kick a football through the Ochmoneks window.

— ALF season 2 pain

ALF: Hey, you owe me. You made me feel like a criminal, Youve scarred me for life, and now you want to take away my TVs? At long last, Will-De-Beast, Have you no sense of decency ?

— ALF season 2 life

ALF: The gas is on. I forgot to light the oven. Oh Well. Better late than never. kitchen blows up I guess well have to order take-out.

— ALF season 2 light

ALF: That irritating metallic echo gets louder and louder, day by day, week by week, year by, hic, year.

— ALF season 2 day

Jody: commenting on ALF putting labels on all her food items to help her Not everyone can label an egg.

— ALF season 2 men

ALF: opens Jodys braille book This book doesnt have any words. Rubs his hand over a page Its got zits!

— ALF season 2 words

ALF: with a sunlamp in front of his head Oh, soaking up rays, Babe. Your sunlamps not working. Ive been sitting here for five hours, Nada.

— ALF season 2 work

ALF: after watching Kate throw Mr. Duncan out of the house Kate, when are you free to mud wrestle Raquel?

— ALF season 2 you

ALF: to Willie, after Willie bodily throws Mr. Duncan through the doorway and out of the house Way to go, Four Eyes!

— ALF season 2 eyes

Willie: talking to Brian When I was a kid, there was a bully in my neighborhood, too. His name was Clarence.

— ALF season 2 will

ALF: Look at this. Theyve got me wired for cable. Let me see. Which was the button for a cheeseburger? presses button Ahhh! Thats not it! presses another button Ahhh! Ive got to label these buttons. Great. I wiped out half my childhood memories for celery? Hey, you! Come here.

— ALF season 2 memories

ALF: Please! Ive got to get out of here. Ive got a family, Ive got a life, Ive got a cake in the oven!

— ALF season 2 life

ALF: Im not a specimen. Im a spaceman. Get the teeth fixed, Boris. presses button Ahhh! I guess theres still no word from the governor.

— ALF season 2 men

Kate: I didnt mean the deal is. You stay in the house for 1 week, but if you mess up, youre history.

— ALF season 2 history

Trevor: Thats 6 months away. It aint your birthday. You just had your fence painted to keep up with the Ochmoneks.

— ALF season 2 pain

Willie: A boo-boo? pause I want my yard back the way it was. I want trees I can trim. I want grass I can mow. NO WATER, NO HUT! AND YOU ARE GOING TO STAY RIGHT HERE UNTIL I GET IT! HAD I MADE THAT SELF CLEAR!

— ALF season 2 self

Gilligan: Ill get it back to you, Skipper, dont worry. puts on Skippers hat for him and water comes out

— ALF season 2 you

Professor: Why was that funny? These are the most entertaining people in the world and you ask why was it funny.

— ALF season 2 funny

ALF: Are you kidding? I cant wait. Im coming back with a bag full of candy apples, popcorn balls, and cats.

— ALF season 2 cats

ALF: Cut the small talk! Lets divide the loot! Okay, one for you, One for me. One for you. One for me. One for me. One for me.

— ALF season 2 you

Willie: Somebody seems to have invited the Burkes, and also told all these people to wear costumes. I dont know who that was, or why he did it, But, Im going to go into the garage and strangle him.

— ALF season 2 people

ALF: Pass. pause I know, Ill marry Lynn. Become a citizen, vote, then drop her of like a hot potato.

— ALF season 2 zen

ALF: Look at this. Theyve got me wired for cable. Let me see. Which was the button for a cheeseburger? presses button Ahhh! Thats not it! presses another button Ahhh! Ive got to label these buttons. presses another button Great. I wiped out half my childhood memories for celery! Hey, you! Come here.

— ALF season 2 memories

Lynn: To a science fiction movie. Something about this guy being shrunk and then injected into someone else.

— ALF season 2 science

ALF: Thats not science fiction. A friend of mine did that once. He took a wrong turn and got stuck in a guys nose.

— ALF season 2 science

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