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Adventure Time

Jake: Okay, well, you can take your weird body issues and tuck them somewhere private, whereas I can take my healthy body issues and— gasp!! Fight a golem!!
Adventure Time health
Finn: Yeah Im not engaged. I need to see something that reflects life as it is, but you know, entertaining.
Adventure Time life
Finn/Jake: Warning—federal law provides severe and criminal penalties for the unauthroized exhibition of copyrighted motion pictures
Adventure Time war
Finn: Man, I still cant believe Marceline is 1,000 years old and has never seen Heat Signature. This movie is gonna blow their minds.
Adventure Time nature
Ice King: No! Not my number one! Princess, if you die on me I will never forgive you! Ill be lost.. lost in my own emotional labyri—
Adventure Time emotion
Nurse Poundcake: Yes, Im afraid there wasnt enough gum to work with, so it appears Princess Bubblegum is now younger.
Adventure Time work
Finn: Princess, the sweater you made me kept me safe. I almost got super-messed up but, it saved me. And.. I wanted to say thank you for imbuing the sweater with the power of liking someone a lot, cos I like you a lot.
Adventure Time power
Finn: Man, youre letting your brain dial turn your fear volume up. Youll see. Those Cuties are nothing but an afternoons delight.
Adventure Time fear
Jake: Ahh no! Its a dead goat, man! Its guts are all over the place! Its all chopped up and spread around and Ah no, wait, its just a blanket.
Adventure Time man
Lumpy Space Princess: No way! First, Im gonna fall in love with one of those little guys, and then Im gonna fall out of love, And then, Im gonna totally fake die of a fake heart attack! OH! MY HEART! MY HEART HURTS BECAUSE I FELL OUT OF LOVE! AND NOW I HAVE TO DIE! OOOOHHHHH!!!
Adventure Time love
Wizard: Ill transport you into Marcelines mind, where you will walk through her memories and find the memory core.
Adventure Time mind
Wizard: Find the memory of Marceline casting the sleep spell on herself. At your touch, you and the memory will be transported back to reality.
Adventure Time reality
Wizard: When you get close to the memory, your forehead will glow. Here, take this. Its a sack of magic powder. Sit on the couch and sprinkle the powder on your head.
Adventure Time memory
Lemongrab: Twelve years dungeon. All of you — dungeon. Seven years, no trials. Come on! Lets move it!
Adventure Time you
Lumpy Space Princess: I knew, that if my parents could see me now, theyd be jealous of how lumpin awesome I am.
Adventure Time parents
Jake: Rrrohh I know! We got here 6 hours early, you dork! Just wake me up when start selling hot dogs. Whoa! Whaddaya know!?
Adventure Time art
Fionna: I think all the reason I got these guy-friends and no boyfriend is because I dont really want to date any of em. I dont need feel like Im waiting to be noticed. I know who I am. And Ill know what I want when and if it ever comes along. But there is one guy I would do anything to date — the Ice King!
Adventure Time friends
Ice King: ..said Fionna! Then she turned to Prince Gumball and said, I hope Ice King will sweep me off my feet and take me to the farthest corner of Ooo, where we will do nothing but kiss and eat a whole bunch until we get fat and die! The end. So, what did you think of the fan fiction I wrote about you guys?
Adventure Time hope
Tree Trunks: O-oh no, Finn. I take great care to assure that-that Im loved by even the most heinous cretins and—
Adventure Time love
Finn: Boy, it sure is quiet around here! Uh-huh! Id probably pee all over myself if somebody jumped out and surprised me!
Adventure Time self
Cat: Me-Mow. Assassin, second class. But once I take out a princess I gaduate to full membership.
Adventure Time sin
Jake: Finn, when I die, my individual Earth consciousness is gonna go all over everywhere while Glob tallies my deeds.
Adventure Time art
Jake: Im gonna be all around you. In your nose and your dreams and socks — Ill be part of your Earth mind! Its gonna be great!
Adventure Time dreams
Finn: Dude Stop. Saying. All this. Crazy. Nonsense. Its making me messed up. Im 13. Youre messin me up.
Adventure Time sin
Jake: Because you forgot how the sun works. The sun is actually far away. Its not sitting right on the horizon.
Adventure Time work
Ice King: Sweetie, I raised my voice because you were giving me the silent treatment. You understand?
Adventure Time men
Ice King: I know, you dont like when Im contemplative. C-Contemplative? No. Con-tem-plat— C— Lets put on a play!
Adventure Time you
Ice King: So, Princess Please-let-me-go-home, tell me. What was it like to experience this tragedy?
Adventure Time experience
Person: Hello. My name is Simon Petrikov. I am recording this tape so that people will know my story.
Adventure Time people
Simon: I was studying to be an antiquarian of ancient artifacts. Now I never believed in the supernatural stuff myself, just had a fascination with superstitions. But everything changed when I came into contact with this item.
Adventure Time art
Simon: After purchasing this crown from an old dock worker in northern Scandinavia, I brought it home and excitedly showed my fiancée Betty, and jokingly put it on my head just for a laugh or something. And thats when it started. The visions I fought with them Shouted at them until I realized it wasnt real, it was the crown!! I quickly took it off and saw my fiancée in front of me — looking at me with such contempt. What had I said? What had I done when I wore this crown? All I know is I never saw Betty again.
Adventure Time art
Simon: Since then, I see the visions always whether or not I wear the crown. They tell me the secrets the secrets of the ice and snow that the power of the crown will save me with its frost. I dont yet know what this means. As you can see, my skin is beginning to turn blue. My body temperature has been lowering at a supernatural rate, to what is now about 30 degrees Celsius. I dont know when it will end. Im really scared.
Adventure Time power
Simon: I know my mind is changing but Im already too far gone to know what to do. I want people to know that if I do things If I do things that hurt anyone, please.. please forgive me.
Adventure Time people
Finn: Hey, this table is wobbly. We gotta take it to the Lost Tinker Goblin of Fog Mountain to fix it.
Adventure Time lost
Jake: Dude, I would love to go on some crazy, made-up adventure with you, but I really gotta read this. So from here on out, Im just gonna ignore you.
Adventure Time love
Stump: Look, theres only two choices, bro. Take your pick. Theres a path on the left. Hair fall out path. No more hair again EVER!!! Or the path on the right. Smelly path. Makes you smelly forever. Mmhm. You wont believe it.
Adventure Time choices
Shrub: You cant cross this river, its impossible! Look! The current is so fast, itll turn your butt inside-out for real, doofus. And the waters so acidic itll crump your boat in half. Its like orange juice, its gross. Theres a bridge, but its a trap! Plus, the waters jamming with electric eels! Wow, so weird. ..Anyway, thats it, theres no other way around, you dummy.
Adventure Time weird
Finn: These ghosts think Im playin they think its all a big game. But yknow what? Yknow what Im gonna do?
Adventure Time think
Holo-Joshua: The dungeons 80 paces west of here under a dumb-looking rock. And Finn, this dungeons gonna kick your tail. I bet you wont even get past the first trial, you whiny baby!
Adventure Time past
Holo-Joshua: Finn, if youre seeing this pre-recorded holo-message, its because youve finished the dungeon that I made for you. Im proud of you. Youre gonna do great things in this world. I love you, son.
Adventure Time love
Flame King: Excellent! You have indeed proven yourself! Any prince ruthless enough to kill his own buffoon would make an excellent boyfriend!
Adventure Time self
Jake: Finn! Whats more important — your love for that screwball dame, or being a hero and saving the lives of innocent goblin folk?
Adventure Time love
Finn: Oh Jake, look at her! Shes innocent. Like the steam of a puppys nose, searching for ham in the snow.
Adventure Time sea
Jake: Guy drops one piece of ham in the snow and he never hears the end of it! Snap out of it! Shes burning cute little flowers!
Adventure Time cute
Ice King: You are nasty, Gunter! You a got nasty booty mister! Nasty! Aw, dont be sad Stinky. Come with Daddy and Ill make it all better.
Adventure Time sad
Ice King: Gbye Gunter! Sorry sweetie, but Im never gonna get any princesses if youre stinkin up the place!
Adventure Time sweet
Jake: A love like theirs will always find a way. Itll crawl all up over you and drain your body fluids, poisoning you slowly until you pass out.
Adventure Time love
Finn: Why do we need to see the Teller anyway? We just wanna see Hunson Abadeer and find out what happened to us.
Adventure Time need
Boat Demon: The Teller will get you in touch with Hunson Abadeer. We got systems down here. You gotta swim the proper channels, ya know?
Adventure Time ya
Jake: Mmmm Yeah, I guess. Well, anyway, its gettin pretty late. Probably time for everyone to go back home to their own houses.
Adventure Time time
Ice King: Finn, Im as concerned as you are. Theres some sicko out there. What if he comes after my princess?
Adventure Time you
Bubblegum: Goliad, let me tell you something about leadership. You see this fat bee? She gets pollen from this flower, but shes gentle and makes the flower happy and pollenated. They both get what they need, and thats how a leader should be.
Adventure Time leadership
Ice King: What do you think, Finn? Can we pull back the layer of static and reach into the source of all being? Behind this curtain of patterns, this random pattern generator so clever, right here in every home, watching us from a one-sided mirror.
Adventure Time random
Cookie: What? Oh.. look you should probably split, buddy. Things are about to get pretty flipped out in here.
Adventure Time you
Jake: Oh sure, sorry man. I was just tryin to get away from that rotten Princess Bubblegum for a while, yknow? Isnt she just the worst?
Adventure Time man
Jake: Oh yeah, man, shes the worst! Sittin out there all safe and cosy while Im riskin my life tootin around in here in a stupid milkman costume
Adventure Time life
Jake: Oh, um I just mean it feels like a costume! Cos I wanted to be a mailman so bad, you see? But the Princess--she made me be a milkman anyway.
Adventure Time man
Bubblegum: Well, obviously, thats going to be a problem, because IM the princess and I need my crown. So
Adventure Time need
Jake: Its a fantasy card game thats super-complicated and awesome, but— well oh, its kinda stupid. Never mind.
Adventure Time fantasy
Jake: Really? Well, I thought youd say it was for nerds who do not know how life is outside the nerd universe.
Adventure Time life
Jake: Okay, okay. First of all, you dont floop a creature to make it fight. You activate a creature.
Adventure Time fight
Finn: What do you expect if all your power units come from corn? Pigs eat corn, dude. Cornfields stink.
Adventure Time power
Abraham Lincoln: Magic Man, I give you two choices. One is total annihilation. The Wand will touch you, and your soul will meet with Death. The second is to use the power of the Wand to convert your body to living stardust, where your consciousness will be jettisoned into the infinite cosmos, on an endless journey of wonder and discovery!
Adventure Time death
Gob: Magic Man, you caused nothing but turmoil and chaos for us on Mars. We thought banishing you to this world would help you see the light of our utopian supersociety. Now tell us. What have you learned in these past 200 years?
Adventure Time society
Magic Man: Theyre gonna put him on trial for my crimes. Aint nobody gonna pardon these crimes on my head. Not even the King of Mars! And once hes dead, my magic juice will return to my body. Flowing through me like moonlight through the ghost dance.
Adventure Time magic
Tiny Manticore: I am the true coward. Hiding from sincere expressions like a vampire in the nude hides from the light. Thank you, brave hero. I was freed from bottle jail, but my new prison is shame. MY NEW PRISON IS SHAME!!
Adventure Time war
Bubblegum: My GPS shows Finn and Jake over there. I think thats where the Ice King has them hostage.
Adventure Time age
Rainicorn: Jeikeuga siljongdoegi jeon-e naega wolnamgugsu myeon-i jilgidago malhaess-eoyo. A, naega wae geuleon mal-eul haess-eulkka Museun nappeun il-i saeng-gyeoss-eumyeon eotteoghae?! Gyaega mandeun gugsu mas-eobsdago han ge uliui majimag daehwayeoss-eoyo. I told Jake that his Vietnamese noodles were too tough before he went missing. Why did I say such a thing?! What if something bad happens to him?! The last conversation we had was that his noodles were tough
Adventure Time man
Rainicorn: Mianhaeyo. Naega gugsuleul neomu manh-i meog-eossna bwayo. Sorry. I guess Ive eaten too many noodles.
Adventure Time man
Rainicorn: Geunom-i kal-eul deulgo deombimyeon eotteoghaeyo?! What if he attacks you with a knife?!
Adventure Time you
Rainicorn: Da-eumnal il-eonamyeon ippaldeul-i geum gaiss-eoyo. Botong jeon geunyang geuleon geos kkum-ilani, naega geogjeong-eul saseo haji hamyeo ij-eobeolilyeogo haeyo. Jega geu ban sal-eun sichedeul-ege jeongmal du beon-ina gong-gyeogdanghaess-eossjanh-ayo. When I wake up in the morning, all my teeth are cracked up! I usually try to forget about it, thinking that its just a dream or Im being paranoid, but I was actually attacked by zombies before, twice.
Adventure Time dream
Ice King: Ive been playing this game a lot longer than you, pal! Ive been working my moves, smooth-talking her, showing her magic tricks! Dont ignore me! Come back!!
Adventure Time work
Lemongrab: Blombo, take them off! Blombo! You must heed my INSTRUCTIONS!!! TAKE OFF YOUR THIIIINGS!!!
Adventure Time you
Jake: Im gonna break every bone in your body, then heal you later with that magical goo we got from the Cyclopss eye!
Adventure Time magic
Marauder: Hes The Farm, the legendary fighter of the Shiney Isles. I came here to participate in his open challenge, but this mother cant be beat!
Adventure Time art
Jake: I dont know, I didnt get it. But listen, man. Im sorry I got mad at you. Who cares about my high score at Kompy? It aint important.
Adventure Time man
Finn: No, man. It is important. Being the third best at something is math and deserves respect, not like I did to Kompy. Anyway, I think we both got cranky after all that training.
Adventure Time man
Costumed Fire Actor: This is a theater troop, were getting ready to preform for the king. Everyone in the kingdom shall be in attendance. Ofcourse, you know all this being fellow actors from the exact same troop.
Adventure Time fire
Jake: I have an idea. Well go on stage, act like two conspirators. Youll have one shoe untied, I will talk with hiss voice. Well talk about how we wanna kill the king. As we do this well study the faces of the audience and look for guilty reaction.
Adventure Time action
Finn: Water? You know whats even more painful? If we pour ice in his ear. Thats how well kill the Flame King.
Adventure Time pain
Mudscamp Elder: Im so sorry about that. You know, we-we secrete stink-oil all day o-out our awful-sauce glands. You know, I guess I should have warned you. Anyway, let me cut the cheese.
Adventure Time war
Mudscamp Elder: Yes. You know, I mean, of course, cut to the chase. I mean, for many for many moons now, our village has been under siege by the Mega Frog.
Adventure Time man
Ice King: I know that, I know! Why cant they write it on the sign, though? Whys it all gotta be secret? Lets just put it all out there, huh? Equal distribution of magic to the people! No more symbols! No more initiations! You feeling me, Huntress Wizard?
Adventure Time people
Finn: Im not. But this is how I act now with all the ladies, you see? I keep em in a state of confusion. That way, Ive always got options in case Flame Princess doesnt work out.
Adventure Time work
Jake: JAY T. DAWG— awww, dude!! Dont read that book!! Its gonna mess up your brain! I keep that book around for laughs. Its all really bad advice!
Adventure Time advice
Finn: Oh you know, just droppin by to say hello, see what you been uhhhhhh up to what uhh How are these days..?
Adventure Time hell
Finn: Hehe yeah.. stupid, umm I had a dream about a bear and an old lady and a snail, and you were there and the snail killed you or something.
Adventure Time dream
Prismo: Did you guys see that? You know there was a ghost wearing a dead guy. That might be the nastiest thing Ive ever seen. N-n-n-n-nasty! Nasty jazz! Nas—
Adventure Time you
Prismo: Oh, sorry! Sorry, I didnt mean nothin by it! I mean, I have a lot of nasty friends, and my uncle was nasty. Im basically honorary nasty.
Adventure Time friends
Prismo: Yeah, he wished for the extinction of all life and I did it. Guess it changed his timeline or something?
Adventure Time life
Simon: Well, thats really disappointing, I must say. Im just Whatever, youre really letting me down right now.
Adventure Time hate
Lich: I wish for the extinction of all li-i— ..for Finn and Jake to go back home to Ooo. Huh!? No wait! Thats not what I wished for—!
Adventure Time home
Ice King: Now honey, I told you. You could take the sign off when you tell me where you hid Daddys crown jewels.
Adventure Time you
Jake: Little Jack Horner Sat on a corner Eating a Christmas pie He put in his thumb And pulled out a plum And said, What a good boy am I!
Adventure Time good
Jake: Well, no. I mean, if you feel something, you FEEL something. It’s not about personality matrixals and charts – it’s all about the bu-bumps in your heart! You can’t stop the pumps and bumps! Pumps and bumps! Pumps and bumps!!
Adventure Time art
Jake: Jake Jr.! You said your first words! The manuals a buncha junk! The manuals a buncha junk??
Adventure Time words
Davey: Do you really wanna go back to bein a famous hero? Why not just be Davey? Simple man with simple goals and simple problems You can just blend in and live the simple life.
Adventure Time life
Lemongrab: Awake! Avast! Hold tight your buns, if buns you do hold dear, for time has come wake and run AND NOT GIVE WAY TO FEAR!!!
Adventure Time fear
Ice King: Well thats it, shows over. Ill just die here and yall can eat my body if you want to survive
Adventure Time ya
Wizard: Whomever the hat possesses gains the proportional strength of a hat! Look out, hes got the horse again!!
Adventure Time strength

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