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Ali G Indahouse 2002

Ali G: BELONG? Thats a very sexist way to talk about these bitches!
— Ali G Indahouse 2002 sex
Ali G: Jezzy, iz you wearing green? I knew it - you iz defected to the Iver Eath posse, innit? Come on - lets stab him!Jezzy F: No, no - wait! Me mum, yeah, she put me yellow top in the wash with me brothers blue football socks even though they aint colourfast.Ali G: All right. But you tell that slag, that in the ghetto, washing non-colourfast synthetics at 60 degrees could cost you your life...
— Ali G Indahouse 2002 life
Ali G: You wanna know ow I make diz country bettah? Iz simple, two words: keep it real!Cabinet M.P.: Thats three words!Ali G: Dont be a spannah, it aint a real word. Its short for innit, innit?
— Ali G Indahouse 2002 words
David Carlton: [to Ali] Have you ever considered becoming a member of parliament?Ali G: What me wanna do that for? Its full of pricks.David Carlton: Thats a little harsh. Im an MP, am I a prick?Ali G: Yes.
— Ali G Indahouse 2002 men
Ali G: R.E.S.T.E.C.P! Do ya even know wha it spellz?Cabinet M.P.: Restecp?Ali G: Yes, Restecp. Owz anyone out there meant to restecp each otha? If you lot in ere, dont even start restecpa-ing one another.
— Ali G Indahouse 2002 art
David Carlton: Tell me, Ali, do you have a job?Ali G: Unfortunately, I iz recently gone on the dole...David Carlton: Really? When?Ali G: Eight years and three months ago.David Carlton: Says here you claim disability benefit, are you...?Ali G: Yes, I iz actually spasticated. I iz got a terrible DJing injury - I still aint got full mobility in me main mixing finger...[starts to air-mix, winces, feigns pain, and stops. Notices Carltons fit secretary looking at him, so he points to his crotch]Ali G: Everything down theres still working, though! Oh, yes...
— Ali G Indahouse 2002 art
Ali G: And I put it to YOU... that you sucked off a orse.
— Ali G Indahouse 2002 you
Ali G: A man more eviler than Skeletor.
— Ali G Indahouse 2002 evil
Ali G: If you iz watching dis in da UK, you may remember me from da telly. If you iz in Belgium... you iz living in a shit hole.
— Ali G Indahouse 2002 living
Ali G: Dats no prozzie, dats me ho!
— Ali G Indahouse 2002
[Awarding a Cub scout a new badge]Ali G: Soon you will big-up to Tyrones level. Tyrone, if you keeps getting any better, were gonna have to do your pubes, aiii.Cub scout: I dont have any.Ali G: Well Ize got millions.
— Ali G Indahouse 2002 war
David Carlton: As from 12 oclock all rizlas will be free. To discourage their use, there will be a 25p-per-pound levy on panties. This will exclude thongs. Marijuana will be available on the NHS to treat chronic diseases such as ichy scrot. Furthermore I am a bell end...Ali G: HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!David Carlton: Prime minister, I really cant be expected to...Prime Minister: Go on now, David!David Carlton: [Looking annoyed] I like to take it up the batty. It is me favourite. I used to be a girl and wear knicks, honest. Ask me mum!
— Ali G Indahouse 2002 courage
Ali G: Crack cocaine iz destroyin our community, so when a bruva makes it through, he deserves our respect. So, lets big it up for me main man Darren, who has been off da crack now for eight years!Darren: Eight years and three quarters.Ali G: Whateva!
— Ali G Indahouse 2002 art
David Carlton: Swan, is there any reason why there should be an absurdly dressed, half-naked man chained to a fence, being tossed off by an old blind council worker?
— Ali G Indahouse 2002 work
Ali G: He iz a criminal! And not even da good type wot deals drugs and does drive bys.
— Ali G Indahouse 2002 good
Ali G: Sorry I iz late, bu dere was a documentry on about monkeys.
— Ali G Indahouse 2002 men
Ali G: Im not Ali A, not Ali B, Ali C, Ali D, Ali E, Ali F... but... Ali G!
— Ali G Indahouse 2002
Ali G: We is gunna hire the A-team.
— Ali G Indahouse 2002 tea
Ali G: Talk to the hand, cos the face aint listening.
— Ali G Indahouse 2002 listening
Ali G: Me Julie, will you make me the happiest guy in the world?Me Julie: Yes, Ali. Yes I will.Ali G: Good. Let me shag her, then!
— Ali G Indahouse 2002 world
Delegate from Chad: Gentlemen, I want you all to know that the minister was very hard, but also very straight.
— Ali G Indahouse 2002 men
[repeated line]Ali G: Batty boy!
— Ali G Indahouse 2002
[repeated line]Ali G: Wicked!
— Ali G Indahouse 2002

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