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American Wedding 2003

Steve Stifler: Well polish my nuts and serve me a milkshake.
American Wedding 2003
Steve Stifler: Hey, Finch, whats the capital of Thailand?[Hits Finch in the groin]Steve Stifler: Bang-cock.
American Wedding 2003
Michelle: Love isnt just a feeling. Its shaving your balls.
American Wedding 2003 love
Michelle: Wow, Steve Stifler just gave a rose to a girl and meant it. Its like, monkeys learning to use tools for the first time.
American Wedding 2003 time
Steve Stifler: Dickhead. You do not send shit to my office at school.Jim: Oh, hey, Stifler. Why dont you come in and make yourself comfortable?Steve Stifler: Your letter made a great impression on Coach Marshall when he read it. Let me just refresh your memory, partner. Dear Steve, I will be forever in your debt if you teach me to dance like you did in the gay bar.Jim: I put serious thought into that letter.Steve Stifler: Dont push me cause Im close to the edge. Im trying not to lose my head. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
American Wedding 2003 art
Jims Dad: Why do you think, uh, Michelle, they call it making love?Michelle: I dont know. I just call it boning.Jims Dad: Boning? Well, when-when youre doing other things with Jim, when youre not... um... boning, how does he make you feel?Michelle: Horny, like I wanna bone.Jims Dad: But-but, we cant be boning from sunrise to sunset, dear.Michelle: Oh, youve never tried it?Jims Dad: I certainly have. I have. Ive boned... from sunrise, uh, right through brunch on more than one occasion.
American Wedding 2003 love
Paul Finch: Now, Jim, let me handle this. These are my people.Steve Stifler: Theyre gay?Paul Finch: No, you bleating imbecile. They have style, theyre cultured, theyre sophisticated.Steve Stifler: So, theyre gay.
American Wedding 2003 people
[first lines]Jim: Well, Michelle, we did it. Happy graduation.
American Wedding 2003 happy
Michelle: How did a little perv like you, turn into such a great guy?Jim: How did a little nympho like you, turn into such a great girl?Michelle: Im still a nympho.Jim: Well, Im still a perv.
American Wedding 2003 hell
Stifler: My dick looks like a corn dog and Ive got cake all over my balls.
American Wedding 2003
[to Stifler, after he has been caught with his pants down]Grandma: Focus.
American Wedding 2003 focus
Stifler: Its on like Donkey Kong, beeyotch.
American Wedding 2003
Cadence Flaherty: So, can I see the ring?Steve Stifler: Nope. Promised to keep it safe. Its not leaving my pocket.Cadence Flaherty: Okay, Frodo.
American Wedding 2003
Steve Stifler: [chanting] Gonna hava sex witha Caadence.
American Wedding 2003 sex
Steve Stifler: Shhiittt, I got a frosted ass crack! Hey Finch, you want this for here, or to go?Paul Finch: A witty saying proves nothing, -Voltaire.Steve Stifler: Suck my dick! -Ron Jeremy.
American Wedding 2003 you
Paul Finch: Stifler, why in the world are you focused on me ?Stifler: Because Im surprised to see you dont have tits.
American Wedding 2003 world
Jims Dad: [Jims father arrives at the restaurant just as Michelle is secretly giving Jim a blow job] Heres the ring, son.Jim: Ohh.Jims Dad: Let me tell you something, this is some ring. Look at the rock on this baby, Mister Big Spender. I hope you didnt blow your wad on this, son.Jim: Not yet.Jims Dad: Your mother and I could not be more thrilled for you, Jim. I mean, were so happy, and I know youre excited. I can see it in your face. I mean, you look like youre ready to burst.Jim: Uh, huh.Jims Dad: I mean, your cheeks, theyre flushed. I wish your mother could be here.Jim: Not me.
American Wedding 2003 hope
[last lines]Paul Finch: Oh, Stiflers Mom!
American Wedding 2003
Paul Finch: Stiflers Mom...Stiflers Mom: Youve got to know Im over you, Finchy.Paul Finch: Well, as they say, well always have Paris.Stiflers Mom: And the pool table.Paul Finch: And the car.Stiflers Mom: And the two-room suite I have upstairs...Paul Finch: Oh, man. Lets go!
American Wedding 2003 man
Paul Finch: But, as they say, Well always have Paris.Stiflers Mom: And the pool table.Paul Finch: And the car.Stiflers Mom: And the two-room suite I have upstairs.Paul Finch: Come on you.[pulling her to the staircase]
American Wedding 2003 you
Jims Dad: Son, step away from the animal...
American Wedding 2003
Steve Stifler: If youll excuse me, I have some shit to attend to.
American Wedding 2003 you
Michelle: So Finch, what will you do with your fancy NYU diploma?Paul Finch: Ill frame it. Then Ill write my memoirs.
American Wedding 2003 hell
[Kevin and Finch are looking for Jims grandmother]Kevin Myers: Guys, what are you doing here?John: The old bitch sucked, so we ditched her.
American Wedding 2003 mother
[after Stifler has sex with Jims grandmother]Kevin Myers: Youre a hero.Steve Stifler: Pussy is pussy.
American Wedding 2003 sex
Kevin Myers: [raising a glass to toast] Gentlemen, to the next step...Jim: Oh will you stop with that next step bullshit.Paul Finch: Put down your glass.
American Wedding 2003 men
[Jim is nervous before his wedding]Jim: Honesty, now- Honestly, would you have passed up sex with Nadia?Jims Dad: Why? Did she say something?Jim: Hypothetically, Dad.Jims Dad: Oh, hypothetically. Well, I mean, you know, Jim, Im a married man. Im...Jim: If-If-If you werent married.Jims Dad: Shes a college girl.Jim: If you were a college guy.Jims Dad: In a heartbeat. Oh yeah.
American Wedding 2003 art
Steve Stifler: I eat the shit here!
American Wedding 2003
Harold Flaherty: Were gonna need a mop.
American Wedding 2003 need
Jims Dad: Boning? Well, when youre not... boning, how does Jim make you feel?
American Wedding 2003 you
Michelle: Hmm... horny, like I wanna bone!
American Wedding 2003 hell
Steve Stifler: Are you saying Im impolite?Jim: Impolite would be an improvement.
American Wedding 2003 men
Fraulein Brandi: Master vas busy putting mop in my fanny.
American Wedding 2003
Steve Stifler: What is this, a dance off?
American Wedding 2003 dance
Paul Finch: Love life, get paid, then get laid. That is the basic philosophy of... The Finch-meister!
American Wedding 2003 love
Jim: Michelle, Im going to ask you something Ive never asked before.Michelle: [eagerly] Is it kinky?
American Wedding 2003 age
Paul Finch: Voltaire can suck on my balls!
American Wedding 2003

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