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Ash vs. Evil Dead

Ash Williams:  Do me a favour will ya, thank your mother for me?  She passed her genes down to you in all the right places.
— Ash vs. Evil Dead ya
Ash Williams:  Okay, wait.  Another wooden hand in place of my real hand, or another wooden hand in place of my wooden hand?
— Ash vs. Evil Dead will
Ash Williams:  First thing I got to do is see a guy about a book.  Must be some spell I can say to undo all this.  The other first thing I got to do is some cardio, cause my heart is jackhammering like a quarterback on prom night.
— Ash vs. Evil Dead art
Pablo Bolivar: That was the scariest thing thats ever happened to me. I thought I was dead, but then it was so cool when you said, Thanks for the heads up. At first I was like, Did he mean it like that? And then I realized, Its the Jefe. Of course, he did.
— Ash vs. Evil Dead thought
Ash Williams: I-I did not. Wish you could have said somethin before I made those dumb crosses, but, okay.
— Ash vs. Evil Dead you
Ash Williams: Alright, look, we get this done quick enough, we might have time to stop for churros. And look, thats not a racist thing, Pablo. Thats just a great dessert.
— Ash vs. Evil Dead time
Ash Williams: Yeah, thats true, but reading from it again cant make things any worse. Its kinda like spilling paint on a, painting. Its okay cause theres already paint on it.
— Ash vs. Evil Dead reading
Lionel Hawkins: Uh, nothing that says wimpy specifically, but I have found a-a minor demon named Eligos. Possesses knowledge of hidden things, a- a demon of the mindscape.
— Ash vs. Evil Dead knowledge
Ash Williams: Hey listen, if its cool, I just wanna sit here and enjoy this place for a while. Ive always wanted to spend time in the city so nice, they named it Jacksonville.
— Ash vs. Evil Dead time
Ash Williams: Nice, you know Ive always wanted to talk to you. Uh, just dont mention the stuff I do in the trailer when were there alone.
— Ash vs. Evil Dead men
Ruby: Oh what? Gonna kill me? You do it, and theyre both dead. And after The Book has killed her, itll kill him. Nothing you can do about it.
— Ash vs. Evil Dead book
Ruby: Or you can take the deal. Think about, Ash. You are old. and fat and weak. You cannot keep this up forever. Lay down your weapons and go back to your life. You know that deep down we *both* want the same thing.
— Ash vs. Evil Dead life
Ruby: I dont wanna destroy anything. I want humanity to flourish. Without good, there is no evil. I just want evil under control, same as you. Difference is, you never signed up for any of this. Ash, your entire life has been marked by tragedy, and desperation, and a woeful inadequacy.
— Ash vs. Evil Dead life
Ash: Ladies, Im gonna be honest with you. Im not drunk enough to know if this is good weird or bad weird, but Ill get there though!
— Ash vs. Evil Dead good
Deadite: Ashy Slashy, hatchet and saw, takes your head and skins you raw! Ashy Slashy, heaven or hell, cuts out your tongue so you cant yell!
— Ash vs. Evil Dead heaven

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