Bad Boys II 2003

Detective Marco Vargas: Listen, were thinking about ordering a little bit of lunch.Detective Mateo Reyes: Should we put you down for a bucket of extra crispy, and a couple of grape sodas?Marcus Burnett: [mimics] A couple of grape sodas.

— Bad Boys II 2003 thinking

Mike Lowery: Look, Im down with your spiritual enlightenment and all that, but I need to know right now some crackhead come rollin up behind me with a nine you gonna cook that fool.Marcus Burnett: Of course, shoot him in the leg.Mike Lowery: Forget that leg shit, man.Marcus Burnett: Everybody deserves a little dignity.Mike Lowery: What about my dignity? Your crackhead gonna be missin a kneecap, Im gonna be in a body bag.

— Bad Boys II 2003 spiritual

Mike Lowery: We ride together, we die together. Bad boys for life.

— Bad Boys II 2003 life

Mike Lowery: [pointing a flashlight at Marcus eyes] What are you on? Look at your pupils.Marcus Burnett: Look at my pupils? How the hell am I gonna look at my pupils?[tries to cross his eyes]

— Bad Boys II 2003 light

Marcus Burnett: My ass stills hurts from what you did to it the other night.Mike Lowery: Hey, it got rough. We got caught up in the moment, shit got crazy. You know how I get.Marcus Burnett: When you popped me from behind I think you damaged some nerves.

— Bad Boys II 2003 men

[Repeated Line]Marcus Burnett: Woosah...

— Bad Boys II 2003

[to his sister, a Miami DEA agent]Marcus Burnett: That was reckless, that was stupid, and that was dangerous.[pauses]Marcus Burnett: Im telling Mommy.

— Bad Boys II 2003 anger

Marcus Burnett: Mike, the man has a gun to my head!Mike Lowery: I bet hell put it down if I put a hollow point in his eye, now wont he?Casper: Your partners a cocky nigger!Mike Lowery: Oh damn, now was that necessary, sir? Why cant he just be a cop? He got to be a nigga too?

— Bad Boys II 2003 art

Mike Lowery: It aint exactly a pool, man. Its like a big-ass puddle wrapped in blue plastic.

— Bad Boys II 2003 man

Capt. Howard: Ive got a Police Commissioner so far up my ass, if he spits its coming out of my mouth.

— Bad Boys II 2003 war

Capt. Howard: 22 cars and a boat, totalled? How did hell you sink a boat?

— Bad Boys II 2003 war

Marcus Burnett: I think we just broke the record for the number of gun fights in one week.

— Bad Boys II 2003 fight

Mike Lowery: Change the station. More music, less Marcus. If you open the door, hell be a black Dr. Phil for the next 40 minutes.

— Bad Boys II 2003 change

[to Mike]Marcus Burnett: Youre like a pitbull with that pink thing hanging out.

— Bad Boys II 2003 you

[Mikes way of saying Im sorry]Mike Lowery: Its a donut. Its a medical thing. I got it from a maternity store. You know, a lot of pregnant women use it. They can put one cheek here and take the pressure off the other. For you, dawg.Marcus Burnett: Thoughtful.

— Bad Boys II 2003 women

Marcus Burnett: Mike, I cant even get an erection. I tried taking Viagra. Popped one, popped two. Ive been eating them like Skittles.

— Bad Boys II 2003

Blond Dread: Who that? Who in MY HOUSE?Mike Lowery: Im the Devil! Whos asking?Blond Dread: The Devil... is not welcome... HEEEEEERRE!

— Bad Boys II 2003 evil

Mike Lowery: [a car flies over, nearly colliding with Mikes Ferrari] WHOOOOO, THAT one puckered up my butt-hole!

— Bad Boys II 2003 lies

Mike Lowery: [on hearing the repair bill for his Ferrari] TWENTY-ONE THOUSAND? Oh, kiss my black ass...!

— Bad Boys II 2003 kiss

Capt. Howard: You guys are like a couple of blood sucking ticks, draining the lifes blood out of this department... Woosaa!Marcus Burnett: Damn the woosaa captain, did you just call me a tick?Capt. Howard: [motioning to Mike] I was referring to him.

— Bad Boys II 2003 life

Marcus Burnett: [while ingested with ecstasy, Marcus is wearing Captain Howards robe walking downstairs talking on the phone] I love it when you call me bunny lobe.Mike Lowery: SHIT!Marcus Burnett: Yeah girl, you should see this sexy shit I got on.Capt. Howard: Who the hell are you talking to?Marcus Burnett: Vargas and Rub... Reyes. They said they down for whatever.

— Bad Boys II 2003 love

Marcus Burnett: [referring to the loose swimming pool ladder] Get my screwdriver! Damn bolts.Theresa: Dont mind him. Hes just upset because he was injured.Syd: Is he okay?Theresa: His wound is fine. Its, um... *other things* that were affected.Syd: Oh... oh!Marcus Burnett: Theresa!Theresa: What?Marcus Burnett: [to Syd] Its just nerve damage.[to Theresa]Marcus Burnett: You not gonna spoil this... Ill talk to you about it.

— Bad Boys II 2003 mind

Mike Lowery: All right, everybody start shooting at somebody! Shoot! Shoot![everyone does, then]Marcus Burnett: Shit, Im out!Mike Lowery: [checks his pistol] I got two rounds left.Marcus Burnett: [checks his pistol] One in the chamber.Syd: [checks her pistol] Im out.Mike Lowery: All these guns in here, and dont none of yall got no bullets?Tito Vargas: I got one, in my hip!Syd: Oh God, hes hit!

— Bad Boys II 2003 god

[after Marcus vomits in the morgue]Mike Lowery: Come here!Marcus Burnett: Im... Im back in the game.Mike Lowery: [searching a corpses cavity] Think I got something... feels like a bag.[pulls it out]Mike Lowery: Shit, naw, its his kidney.[Marcus runs back to the sink and retches again]

— Bad Boys II 2003 sin

Mike Lowery: [in a stand off] A bullet in the head will really mess up your extensions!

— Bad Boys II 2003 you

Marcus Burnett: [driving with Mike down a hill, through cocaine-processing shacks, in a stolen Humvee] Is this still plan B?Mike Lowery: Naw, this is definitely plan C!

— Bad Boys II 2003 sin

Mike Lowery: Hey, isnt it low tide?Marcus Burnett: Yes, I think it is.Mike Lowery: Dont you have some relatives that you need to go pick up?Detective Mateo Reyes: You went too far on that one.

— Bad Boys II 2003 you

Hector Juan Carlos Johnny Tapia: [Watches his house get blown up] Oh, my God! No! God! Oh, my God!

— Bad Boys II 2003 god

[after Mike and Marcuss latest massive gunfight/car chase]Capt. Howard: [trying to stay calm] So, you got the drugs.[they shake their heads]Capt. Howard: No drugs. Oh, okay. What about the money?[they shake theirs heads]Capt. Howard: No money. Well then, whos this x-man?Marcus Burnett: Captain, I was at a family barbecue...Mike Lowery: We dont know, but we are going to find out.Capt. Howard: [points to the TV news] Well then, all that... was for nothing?Mike Lowery: Oh, we didnt do *all* of that.

— Bad Boys II 2003 war

[while fleeing Tapia and the Cuban Army in a stolen Humvee, armed with almost-empty guns]Mike Lowery: Hey, Marcus, you know how when we usually get in these situations, you know Im always trying to make you feel better, like were gonna be all right, like were gonna make it?Marcus Burnett: Yeah, yeah...Mike Lowery: I could say it, but... itd be a bunch of bullshit today.

— Bad Boys II 2003 you

Mike Lowery: Just cause you got that gun to my partners head, youre thinking I aint gonna splatter your shit all over this swamp, huh?Marcus Burnett: Thats what Im thinking!Mike Lowery: See, what you dont understand is my partner came here tonight prepared to die.Marcus Burnett: He... Hell, no!

— Bad Boys II 2003 art

[Alexeis partner is cut into pieces by Tapias gang and brought to him in a tortilla bin]Alexei: With all due respect, Mr. Tapia. In my country, I see such things all the time.Hector Juan Carlos Johnny Tapia: Im sorry for your country.Alexei: Its got to be some Cuban stupid tradition to put him in a tortilla bin, huh?Hector Juan Carlos Johnny Tapia: Now, listen to me, you Russian punk. I, me, Johnny Tapia, will sever your head off.Alexei: You kill me, and youll have a shit storm.

— Bad Boys II 2003 time

[after Mike lifts the sheet covering the dead bimbo in the morgue]Marcus Burnett: Mike!Mike Lowery: What?Marcus Burnett: Show some dignity!Mike Lowery: I aint doin nothin.Marcus Burnett: Cover her titties up!Mike Lowery: What-what-what am I gonna do with these, these big-ass dead titties?Marcus Burnett: But youre *lookin* at them.Mike Lowery: There is something seriously wrong with your brain, man.Marcus Burnett: Just cover up her titties.

— Bad Boys II 2003 man

[after Mikes flashback about his therapy]Marcus Burnett: Mike, you go to therapy to get your issues worked out, not bang your therapist.Mike Lowery: Now you just talking nasty.

— Bad Boys II 2003 work

Alexei: The Russian Grim Reaper is here.

— Bad Boys II 2003 alex

Marcus Burnett: [after Mike has killed yet another lead, this time throwing him under a train] We lost the coffin and you barbequed our lead, Mike. This has got to be the worst, most emotional cop week of my life.

— Bad Boys II 2003 life

Marcus Burnett: [during a gun fight] Sir, we just want to talk.Mike Lowery: You want to talk? All right, go ahead, go ahead.Marcus Burnett: Were not immigration![more gunfire]Mike Lowery: They cant hear you, cause theyre still shooting at you!

— Bad Boys II 2003 fire

Marcus Burnett: Look, Mike. Calm down!Mike Lowery: Calm down? Im calm! Im calm... Whoaa! Whoa! I am way too unstable for that bullshit! Stop all the goddamn movement! Everybody stop moving!

— Bad Boys II 2003 god

Mike Lowery: Look, Captain, these were not normal corpses.Capt. Howard: If I threw you out of moving truck and then ran over your head, you wouldnt be normal either!

— Bad Boys II 2003 war

[Repeated Line]Floyd Poteet: Ive got my rights.

— Bad Boys II 2003 right

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