Becker TV series

1 Season 11.1 Pilot 1.2 Take These Pills and Shove Em 1.3 Sex in the Inner City 1.4 Tell Me Lies 1.5 My Dinner With Becker 1.6 Man Plans, God Laughs 1.7 City Lights 1.8 Physician, Heal Thyself 1.9 Choose Me 1.10 PC World 1.11 Love! Lies! Bleeding! 1.12 Becker the Elder 1.13 Larry Spoke 1.14 Activate Your Choices 1.15 Partial Law 1.16 Saving Harvey Cohen 1.17 Truth and Consequences 1.18 Drive, They Said 1.19 Lucky Day 1.20 Regarding Reggie

— Becker TV series love

2 Season 22.1 Point of Contact 2.2 Imm-Oral Fixations 2.3 Cyrano De Beckerac 2.4 Linda Quits 2.5 My Boyfriends Back 2.6 Shovel Off to Buffalo 2.7 He Said, She Said 2.8 Stumble in the Bronx 2.9 Hate Thy Neighbor 2.10 The Hippocratic Oath 2.11 The Rumor 2.12 All The Rage 2.13 Old Yeller 2.14 The Roast That Ruined Them 2.15 The Bearer of Bad Tidings 2.16 Sight Unseen 2.17 Panic on the 86th

— Becker TV series friends

3 Season 33.1 Super Bob 3.2 One Wong Move 3.3 Smoke Em If You Got Em 3.4 Dr. Angry Head 3.5 The Trouble with Harry 3.6 The Princess Cruise 3.7 Pretty Poison 3.8 The Ugly Truth 3.9 The More You Know 3.10 Nocturnal Omissions 3.11 The TorMentor 3.12 Sue You 3.13 Trials and Defibrillations

— Becker TV series truth

5 Season 55.1 And The Heartbeat Goes On 5.2 The 100th 5.3 But Ive Got Friends I Havent Used Yet 5.4 The Pain in the Neck 5.5 The Job

— Becker TV series art

6 Season 66.1 Whats Love Got To Do With It? 6.2 Spontaneous Combustion 6.3 Afterglow 6.4 The Unbelievable Wrongness of Talking 6.5 Chock Full O Nuts 6.6 Subway Story 6.7 D.N.R.

— Becker TV series love

Dr. John Becker: You know whats killing this country? TV talk shows. I watched one last night. I shouldve just stuck a fork in my eye. You know, its like America stepped in something and is scraping it off its shoe directly over my TV set. Im telling you. Jerry Springer, Jenny Jones, theyre all broadcasting straight from Hell! When I watched one the other day I dont even know what the hell it was. Apparently, some guy wanted to be a woman, so he chops it off. Then he decides he likes chicks after all, so he becomes a lesbian. Tell me theres not a wasted step in there somewhere.

— Becker TV series man

Dr. John Becker: I did. I ran across a bisexual guy having a three-way with his aunt and uncle. I tell you, if I were his dog, Id be on my toes.

— Becker TV series sex

Dr. John Becker: Nobody called on you. It doesnt matter if you turn the set off. The people are still in there! And, frankly, I like knowing what theyre up to. Trust me on this one. White trash is the only natural resource this country will never run out of!

— Becker TV series people

Dr. John Becker: If you dont want people to know youre blind, you might want to try staring into the shiny metal part instead of directly at the napkin.

— Becker TV series art

Regina Reggie Kostas: Hes not just a doctor. Hes a brilliant doctor. As far I as I can tell, thats his only flaw, otherwise hed be a perfect ass.

— Becker TV series law

Dr. John Becker: Kinda thought what? That Ill give a pat on that continent you call a butt, tell you everything is gonna be fine and send you home?

— Becker TV series home

Dr. John Becker: Oh, yeah. Thats just what I want to be. Another schmuck riding down the street with a little bell and stupid helmet trying to save the environment. Like my little two-wheelers going to make a difference in a city with fifty-million cabs belching out toxic smoke. Oh, little Timmy cant breathe! But dont worry! Beckers riding a bike!

— Becker TV series men

Dr. John Becker: My car broke down, so I had to take the bus. Have you done that lately? Its like being in an ethanol-powered Fellini film. The first thing I see is some woman breastfeeding her son- her ADULT son. Behind them is someone in this lovely Chanel evening gown whos either an attractive man or a really unattractive woman. The only seat I could find was next to some guy who claims hes Moses. He may well have been, too. He smelled like some guy whod been dead for 3,000 years.

— Becker TV series love

Margaret: Mrs. Cooper called at 11:00 last night. She didnt want to alarm us, but she wasnt sure she would make it through the night. 7:00 this morning, Mrs. Cooper called again. Apparently, she made it. 8:15, Mrs. Cooper called

— Becker TV series night

Margaret: Already checked. There were two movies of the week last night. Lindsey Wagner had kidney failure and Patty Duke was going deaf. Usual bet?

— Becker TV series failure

Linda: to a patient Oh, theyre sending you up for and MRI. Hope youre not claustrophobic. Cause, you know, they slide you into this long, dark tube, and you cant move. Its like, the walls are closing in, and then, theres this horrible, deafening, pounding noise, and you scream, and you scream but nobody can hear you. And then you wonder, what if theres a power failure, and I get stuck in here?! Its like that movie where that guy was buried alive. What was that called? Oh, right! Buried Alive! And then, theres Buried Alive 2! How many movies must these people make before people learn?

— Becker TV series hope

Margaret: Mr. Lyles, relax. An MRI is nothing to be afraid of. quietly But you sure wont catch me in one.

— Becker TV series you

Patient: While Im here, there was something on the news last night about five warning signs. I definitely have three of them: fatigue, sore joints, and disorientation.

— Becker TV series war

Patient: I dont know. I walked into the room after the program started. I just have this feeling that somethings terribly wrong with me.

— Becker TV series art

Dr. John Becker: to Mr. Marino, who claims he forgot to take his medications You remembered to keep smoking.

— Becker TV series you

Dr. John Becker: Youre a lying, smoking bastard! I know because Im one, too. Look, right now, youre being stupid. Do you want to be stupid and dead?

— Becker TV series you

Dr. John Becker: Only the stupid ones! Its real simple, Mr. Marino: Youre walking across the street. A bus is coming at you. Im trying to help you get out of the way. Even a five year-old is smart enough to do that. You think you might take directions as well as a five year-old?

— Becker TV series art

Mr. Marino: You know what? I got some directions for you, pal! Why dont you go straight to Hell, take a left at Up Yours, and then make a right at Kiss my Ass!

— Becker TV series kiss

Dr. John Becker: on the phone Well, when Mr. Marino gets back to the office, tell him to call Dr. Becker, please. pause He told you to tell me that? Well, Im a doctor, and thats not physically possible.

— Becker TV series you

Dr. John Becker: I dont have time to be tactful, Margaret! Am I wrong, here? A guys crossing the street, a bus is about to hit him, I yell at him to watch out!

— Becker TV series time

Margaret: You keep yelling at me like that, Im going to shove you in front of that bus, climb inside, get behind the wheel and back up over you again!

— Becker TV series you

Dr. John Becker: Hey, Jake. Let me ask you something. Say youre crossing the street and some guy yells at you because youre about to be hit by a bus.

— Becker TV series sin

Jake Malinak: Well, I want to know how fast its going. Now, if its a local, I know its going to stop, but if its an express, its just going to come barreling through--

— Becker TV series want

Jake Malinak: Okay, fine, fine. So, Im crossing the street, and here comes some kind of bus which may or may not be going fast enough to hit me.

— Becker TV series sin

Reggie: Oh, well thats easy. The bus hits you and nobody calls for help because everyone in this neighborhood knows you.

— Becker TV series body

Dr. John Becker: to Mrs. Marino I know why you want to kill him. to Mr. Marino And now I know why you want to die. Best of luck to both of you.

— Becker TV series you

Dr. John Becker: answers phone Hello? Excuse me? Am I interested in changing my long distance carrier? blows air horn into the phone Thanks for calling.

— Becker TV series hell

Dr. John Becker: after a neighbors music wakes him up Hey, foreign guy! Whatever youre doing to the goat is not my idea of an alarm clock!

— Becker TV series music

Dr. John Becker: What is this, National Sex Day? I got a woman doing it in a parked car. This clown wants Viagra. Everybody I see this morning has sex on the brain.

— Becker TV series sex

Radiator Repairman: You got a really old system, here. Your pipes are clogged. You gotta let off the pressure or the system wont handle it.

— Becker TV series man

Marvin Johnson: My brother told me if I see a girl naked then shes going to have a baby. Yesterday, I saw my cousin Francene naked. I dont have it big with her. Shes mean.

— Becker TV series sin

Mr. Morello: Come on my other doctor wouldn’t prescribe anymore, I need this stuff! With Viagra I’m like a 17 years old boy again.

— Becker TV series need

Dr. John Becker: Look, Viagra is a treatment for a specific and a very serious condition. Ever since it came out, I have had every middle age lothario with hair growing out of his ears sleazing in here begging for a booster shot. Do you think I’m gonna hand you a loaded gun so you can go out on a rampage? You’re outta your mind pall!

— Becker TV series mind

Mr. Morello: Come on! Doc! I was married for 15 years, I feel like I’ve been on the bench forever now I’m back in the game. Please doc, give me the bat!

— Becker TV series forever

Dr. John Becker: looks at a patients chart Eczema. Thank you, God. takes one look at her Oh, brother.

— Becker TV series god

Patient: See this thing on the back of my neck? Its like this all over. Between my breasts, my thighs. Do you want me take my clothes off?

— Becker TV series you

Dr. John Becker: Hold it, hold it. Well just work our way down. No, I mean, take our time. Take this-- no.

— Becker TV series time

Reporter: And in our final story tonight, wed like to wish a special happy birthday to Hazel Meyers. Today, the oldest woman in New York is 106 years old.

— Becker TV series man

Dr. John Becker: Jake, let me give you a little tip: whatever you do, never, ever, go to a hospital. You got a problem, throw yourself in front of a train. Its quicker, its cheaper and its a hell of a lot less paperwork. Patient of mine went to this morning for surgery. By the time I get there, hes gone.

— Becker TV series time

Dr. John Becker: No, hes not dead! Hes gone! They lost him! They physically lost the entire person! Oh, yeah, they keep track of their $25 aspirin there, $40 Q-tips, but apparently poor, unconscious Mr. Barelli was just a little too slippery for them! But at least it was all worthwhile. When I got Mr. Barelli up to his room, he found the perfect way to thank me. Threw up all over my shoes.

— Becker TV series lost

Linda: You had motive, you had opportunity, and lets not forget yesterday you said you wanted to kill him.

— Becker TV series opportunity

Bob: reading the Scrabble box Special Edition: Can be enjoyed by the blind and sighted alike. Okay. Bob stands corrected. Lets play, Jake.

— Becker TV series reading

Dr. John Becker: I am not! I have strong opinions. Yeah, I admit that. I have likes, I have dislikes, but none of them are racially motivated! Everything I say is motivated purely by stupidity!

— Becker TV series stupidity

Dr. John Becker: I did not! I said I didnt like loud music. You know, all right. I dont like rap music. Is that okay with you? I dont like polka music either, but I like Polish sausage. I hate Chinese checkers, but I love French fries. I hate Belgian waffles, love German Shepherds. Cant stand English muffins! Heres a real puzzler: hate Danish cheese, love cheese danish!

— Becker TV series love

Dr. John Becker: Too hot. Too cold. Too stupid. Mexico? Whats the point? In a few weeks, theyll all be up here.

— Becker TV series

Dr. John Becker: Whats the big deal? Hes probably just another rat here to make it on the great rat way.

— Becker TV series great

Dr. John Becker: Whats with the toothpick? What are you, Neil Armstrong, claiming this burger in the name of all mankind?

— Becker TV series man

Judge Reinhold: Dr. Becker, I dont want to hear your voice again. Counselor, call your next witness.

— Becker TV series you

Regina Reggie Kostas: Ah, no big deal. But do me a favour: next time you have a dream about us, can it be somewhere exotic? Even in your dreams, I cant get out of this lousy diner!

— Becker TV series dreams

Share your thoughts on Becker TV series quotes with the community: