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Bobs Burgers

Bob: Alright, this is how you throw a spiral. Here comes the bullet. Ugh! Stupid ball! Its cause theres no laces.
— Bobs Burgers you
Regular-Sized Rudy: See, thats why youre going to be a Hall Manatee, and Im stuck at Hall Minnow. Well, Im also a Hall Minnow because Im bad at networking.
— Bobs Burgers work
Louise: Hello and welcome to Bobs Burgers. The burger of the day is the Child Molester—it comes with candy. Get it?
— Bobs Burgers hell
Gene: My grandparents are staying with us and they were both alive during Prohibition, so this is what it sounds like when they have sex in the room next to mine.
— Bobs Burgers sex
Louise: Personally I dont really care but my father, he loves grinding them up; it gives him a rush. Daddys a bad, bad man.
— Bobs Burgers love
Tina: Frowny face? All Ive been is super nice to you and this is the thanks I get? I loved you, I loved you like a horse, which is my favorite animal. You know what, lets just stop before we both say something well regret, like that horses are better than cows. I regret that, but its true.
— Bobs Burgers love
Louise: Shush, shush. Im sorry baby. Shush, I didnt mean it baby. You know how I get before a big show, baby. You know how I get GET OFFA ME! YOURE SMUDGING MY MAKE-UP!
— Bobs Burgers you
Louise: YOU WANT ME TO GO OUT IN FRONT OF THESE PEOPLE WITH THIS MAKE-UP ALL SMUDGED, YOU CLUMSY OAF?
— Bobs Burgers people
Bob: Lin, theyre anuses. Im trying to think of worse paintings to hang in a restaurant. Um, nope, I cant think of any!
— Bobs Burgers pain
Linda: Oh Louise, dont be a pill. A little father-son bonding is going on here, and thats a good thing. These two dont always do it so well.
— Bobs Burgers good
Gene: Im having my own Super Bowl blowout this year. Im holding all of my BMs until halftime, when I will make a Super Bowel!
— Bobs Burgers time
Bob: I cant believe were competeing agains Skip Marooch. He has a book out. I read it! I mean, I mostly read it. I looked at all the pictures.
— Bobs Burgers believe
Bob: Oh, right! Because thats what Thanksgiving is all about - running with turkeys and going on rides. Fine, go. But you know what? I am not making dinner!
— Bobs Burgers you
Gene: So its just a coincidence that you took a beloved 80s movie - some say the sassy sister film to Die Hard - and set it to music and lyrics?
— Bobs Burgers love
Linda: Gene, you cant hold your poops in, all right? You gotta set them free, then they go in the sewers and the find their families. And theyre happy!
— Bobs Burgers lies
Linda: I dreamed that I was breastfeeding Gene again, but he had a long, white beard, like Santa Claus. It was really freaky.
— Bobs Burgers dream
Louise: And I told you I have a raging staph infection under here. You touch this hat and we all go down! You want to play dodge ball in the hospital?
— Bobs Burgers aging
Louise: Its so gross I want to slap it. I wanna slap it. I just wanna slap his hideous, beautiful face!
— Bobs Burgers beautiful
Louise: Unbelieveable. So everyone thinks I did it? Then I must be guilty. Thats how it works, right!?
— Bobs Burgers work
Mr. Frond: Ok, ABS. The conflict resolution program sweeping our school. You all know my system. And at the spaghetti dinner so will your parents or legal guardians. Um, Becky. Cause your moms in jail. Tina, Jocelyn, Jimmy Junior, lets rehearse! Becky, you just watch. Tina here just found out that her best friend Jocelyn told Jimmy Junior here that Tina is whack. And acting.
— Bobs Burgers school
Mr. Platt: If its bigger than a bake sale, they call Michael Mauerman, and then they get me because I have his number now, and I shut it down!
— Bobs Burgers man
Mrs. Bush: I dont know how Mudflap is doing this without and epidural. If I hadnt had one with Logan
— Bobs Burgers wit
Teddy: Or me at a lesbian bar. Watched the hockey game at a lesbian bar, Bob. It was like I was invisible.
— Bobs Burgers
Tina: You dont want to mess with my sister. Shell wear down your self-esteem over a period of years.
— Bobs Burgers self-esteem

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