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Bottom TV series

Richie: Alright, Im coming! Alright, alright! Who do you think I am, Speedy Gonzales? Opens the door and slightly strikes the Gasman Right, thats enough of that! Thats my electricity, you know. Im not the Aga Khan! Cripes! Its the gasman!
— Bottom TV series light
Richie: Night-Night, Sleep Tight. Hope the bed bugs do not bite. If they do, do a poo. Put it in a Cornish Stew. Into the ambulance, dring-dring-dring! Fish trousers elephant in Peking. Saw a busy bee; Diddle-diddle-dee. Daddys an accountant just like me. Night-Night, God Bless.
— Bottom TV series god
Richie: No! Ha ha! It was Scythe. Ha! Ha! Oh, I win, I get to live! Thank you Baby Jesus! Thank you all the Baby Jesuses!
— Bottom TV series jesus
Richie: Well, its the season of goodwill and peace on Earth, so I thought Id chop both its feet off, rip out its innards, strip it, shove an onion up its arse and bung it in a very hot place for four hours until its completely burnt.
— Bottom TV series art
Eddie: Rightey dokey matey bloke flap old salty seadog amigo skip-jack jockstrap piano tuner, lets see you balls this one up!
— Bottom TV series you
Eddie: Righty-ho young Sonny Jim old fella-me-lad matey-skip me old pal from the briny, lets fill up the picnic hamper!
— Bottom TV series you
Richie: A: The queen doesnt have jugs, shes royalty! B: If she did, she certainly wouldnt get em out on the back of a fiver. Shed save em up for the fifty!
— Bottom TV series ya
Richie: Alright, Im coming! Who do you think I am, Speedy Gonzales? Right, stop using my electricity, Im not the Alma Khan! Kripes, its the gasman.
— Bottom TV series man
Richie: I bought you a Coca-Cola in good faith. Thats eighty pence youve hoodwinked out of me. Eighty pence. When I said Hello my darling, would you like a Coca-Cola? did you say No thank you, Im terribly sorry, but Im a lesbian? No, you didnt, not a bit of it. You said Thank you very much, thatd be lovely.
— Bottom TV series love
Eddie: Oh god, and so it goes on, day after day, year in year out, slime in this ear, slime in that ear, dont you ever yearn for change?
— Bottom TV series god
Eddie: Oh I know hes got a girls name, is it Julie Goodyear? Its not that ginger haired cunt is it?
— Bottom TV series good
Eddie: “What do you mean, it’s crap! There’s eight bodies at the end and he gets to shag his Mum!”
— Bottom TV series you
Eddie Reading: Ten seconds have passed since I fatefully partook in the Elixir of Life. Feeling groggy oh, all seems to fade. Darkness comes and anal leakage
— Bottom TV series life
Lily Linneker: Right, well, ah, let’s have a look at your forms then, shall we? All right. Oh, I see – you want someone homely, with cooking skills, fun to be with and a whazzo pair of jugs?
— Bottom TV series home
Richie: I couldnt believe that nurse - all I said was Hello, have you seen The Singing Detective? and she twatted me with a kidney dish!
— Bottom TV series believe
Richie: I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! Go away and crawl away and die in a ditch somewhere, you bastard!
— Bottom TV series hate
Richie: Well, then, I think its our duty Eddie, as citizens of the world, yes, but above all as Englishmen, with a song in our hearts and a twinkle in our eye and major league tackle in our M & S Ys, to defuse this bomb.
— Bottom TV series art
Richie as Rick from The Young Ones: Oh, really great and bwrilliant, Vyvyan! Throws up a peace sign Thatcher! Thatcher!
— Bottom TV series peace

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