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dave chappelle

The only thing more suspicious than a black man running is a black man tippy toeing.
— dave chappelle man
The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it.
— dave chappelle you
I’m cool with failing so long as I know that there are people around me that love me unconditionally.
— dave chappelle love
You can become famous but you can’t become unfamous. You can become infamous but not unfamous.
— dave chappelle you
I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed.
— dave chappelle funny
I don’t normally talk about my religion publicly because I don’t want people to associate me and my flaws with this beautiful thing. And I believe it is beautiful if you learn it the right way.
— dave chappelle religion
I want to tell my jokes. I want to have time with my children. I want to entertain people. And at one point, I’ll walk away from show business. But I don’t want to walk away empty handed.
— dave chappelle time
Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you’re interested in being funny, New York is the place to go.
— dave chappelle funny
The only thing harder than leaving show business is coming back.
— dave chappelle business
I’m famous today. People like me today. Might not like me tomorrow. You can’t count on it.
— dave chappelle people
You can become famous but you cant become unfamous.
— Dave Chappelle you
All these years, I thought I liked chicken cause it was delicioius; but turns out, Im genetically predisposed to likin chicken!
— Dave Chappelle thought
Terrorists dont take black hostages. Thats the truth. I have yet to see one of us on the news reading a hostage letter. Like, Uh...they is treatin us good. Uh we are chillin and shit. Id like to give a shout out to Ray-Ray an Big Steve and uh, send some Newports!
— Dave Chappelle truth
I figured, let me just cut myself off from everybody, take a minute and pull a Flintstone, stop a speeding car by using my bare feet as brakes.
— Dave Chappelle self
Im off to the gym. Replacing good character with good looks is a cornerstone of my comeback stratagem.
— Dave Chappelle character
I would go to work on the show and I felt awful everyday, thats not the way it was. I felt like some kind of prostitute or something. If I feel so bad, why keep on showing up to this place? Im going to Africa. The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.
— Dave Chappelle work
There was something really serendipitous that was happening, with some kind of energy that things would ultimately just work out, sometimes better than when you plan.
— Dave Chappelle time
I like that particular kind of attention. People dont know what its like standing up there onstage, when you have a wall of people smiling at you.
— Dave Chappelle art
Most people dont know what its like to stand up there and speak their mind. I have a venue to do that. I get paid to do that. Its not like Im doing heavy lifting up there. Its not like Im solving the worlds problems. Its like Im hanging out with a bunch of people and its cool.
— Dave Chappelle people
I see that they put every black man in the movies in a dress at some point in his career.
— Dave Chappelle man
I think every group of black guys should have at least one white guy in it.
— Dave Chappelle think
I was on vacation at Disney World, and everybody kept coming up to me and saying Hey, Im Rick James, b*tch. I was like, Could you not call me a b*tch in front of my kids?
— Dave Chappelle world
Whether it means having a show, or a movie, or just being on a stage, I need an avenue to say what I have to say.
— Dave Chappelle age
I felt in a lot of instances I was deliberately being put through stress because when youre a guy who generates money, people have a vested interested in controlling you.
— Dave Chappelle people
I was doing sketches that were funny, but socially irresponsible. It was encouraged.
— Dave Chappelle funny
Its Friday Bitches! Lets Get Fucked Up!
— Dave Chappelle day
What is wrong with me I just bought a bag of weed from an infant.
— Dave Chappelle wit
Hey, niggers! Turn that jungle music down! Woogie boogie, nigger! Woogie boogie!
— Dave Chappelle music
Fuck Nick Cannon! Dave Chappelle!
— Dave Chappelle
Who got the part? Chris Tucker? Shit! Who got the other part? Tell me man. Jackie Chan? That mother fucker cant even speak English!
— Dave Chappelle art
Im sorry, Charlie Murphy, it was an accident. I was having too much fun. I offer you a truce. The stickiest of the icky. You want to smoke with the old boy Rick James?
— Dave Chappelle you
Im Rick James, bitch.
— Dave Chappelle
Good motherfucking choice, motherfucker! Samuel Jackson! Made painstakingly by me, Samuel L. Jackson! Itll get ya drunk! Youll be fucking fat girls in no time! You might even fight a nigga or two! Mmmm-mmm, bitch!
— Dave Chappelle time
Bitches! Come over here and show Charlie Murphy yo titties!
— Dave Chappelle lie
Skeet Skeet Skeet!
— Dave Chappelle
Man! Fuck that frog!
— Dave Chappelle man
Then Jasper said Look here, nigger, if anyones gonna have sex with my sister, its gonna be me.
— Dave Chappelle sex
Is this the 5:00 Free Crack Giveaway?
— Dave Chappelle free
New white people, you cant scare these white people, I tried.
— Dave Chappelle people
Every group of brothers should have at least one white guy in it. Im serious for safety, cuz when the shit goes down someone is gonna need to talk to the police.
— Dave Chappelle need
I dont like letting my freinds drive drunk, but I was smokin a joint I really couldnt say shit to the guy.
— Dave Chappelle real
I knew it was a bad idea, but I was high. I tried to explain to him that it was a bad idea but all that came out was well nigger sometimes you gotta race, I dont know.
— Dave Chappelle time
No one wants to get their ass beat to a soundtrack.
— Dave Chappelle want
The old baby on the corner trick a, not gonna fall for that shit.
— Dave Chappelle fall
Hey baby, baby go home man its three oclock in the morning what the fuck are you doing up. The baby said Im sellin weed nigger.
— Dave Chappelle man
Get out of here cracky.
— Dave Chappelle
Somebody broke into my house once, this is a good time to call the police, but mm mm, nope. The house was too nice. It was a real nice house, but theyd never believe I lived in it. Theyd be like Hes still here!
— Dave Chappelle time
Oh my god. Open and shut case, Johnson. I saw this once when I was a rookie. Apparently this nigger broke in and put up pictures of his family everywhere.
— Dave Chappelle god
Hey, baby! Stop selling weed!
— Dave Chappelle
They got a character on there named Oscar, they treat this guy like shit the entire show. They judge him right in his face, Oscar you are so mean! Isnt he kids?, Yeah Oscar! Your a grouch!, its like BITCH! I LIVE IN A FUCKING TRASHCAN!
— Dave Chappelle character
Dave! Relax! Close your buttcheeks!
— Dave Chappelle you
Im rich bitch!
— Dave Chappelle rich
Hey, baby! Stop selling weed, all right, youve got your whole life ahead of you. He goes, Fuck you, nigga. I got kids to feed!
— Dave Chappelle life
No one calls 911 cool and relaxed. Now that shit would sound ridiculous.
— Dave Chappelle
Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it.
— Dave Chappelle bible
I still think people do have racial hang-ups, but I think one of the reasons I can joke about it is people are shedding those racial hatreds.
— Dave Chappelle people
The language you are about to hear... is disturbing.
— Dave Chappelle language

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