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Dogma film

Loki: I cant believe you forgot the magazine. Thats you. Do you know much about voodoo? Thats a fascinating practice. No real doctrine of faith to speak of. More an arrangement of superstitions the most well-known of which is the voodoo doll.You see, a mockup of an individual is subjected to various pokes and prods.The desired result is that the individual will feel those effects.
— Dogma film faith
Metatron acts as the voice of God. Any documented occasion when some yahoo claims that God has spoken to them, theyre speaking to me. Or theyre talking to themselves.
— Dogma film god
Say youre the Metatron, people stare at you blankly. Mention something from a Charlton Heston movie and suddenly everyones a theology scholar! May I continue uninterrupted?
— Dogma film people
The whole books gender-biased. A womans responsible for original sin. A woman cuts Samsons coif of power. A woman asks for the head of John the Baptist. Read that book again sometime. Women are painted as bigger antagonists than the Egyptians and Romans combined. It stinks.
— Dogma film books
So you were an artist? Big deal. Elvis was an artist, but that didnt stop him from joining the service in time of war. Thats why hes the King, and youre a schmuck.
— Dogma film war
Gun Shop Owner: We call this piece The Fecalator. One look at it and your target shits him or herself.
— Dogma film self
Nun: The way you put it Ive never thought about it like that before. Whatwhat have I been doing with my life?
— Dogma film life
Loki: Yeah, I know. Look, why dont you take this money youre collecting for your parish, and go out and buy yourself a new dress. Fix yourself up. Find some man. Find some woman. Find anyone you can connect with, even for a moment. Because thats all that life really is, Sister — its a series of moments. Why dont you go seize yours? Attagirl.
— Dogma film life
Bartleby: Heres what I dont get about you. You know for a fact that theres a God. Youve been in His presence, Hes spoken to you personally. And yet I just heard you claim to be an atheist.
— Dogma film god
Loki: Our last four days on Earth. If I had a dick, Id go get laid. But we can do the next best thing.
— Dogma film art
Metatron: Behold the Metatron, herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true God. Behold the Metatron, herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true God. Behold the Metatron, herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true
— Dogma film god
Metatron: Oh, give over, will you? I couldnt rape you if I wanted to; Angels are ill-equipped! Drops his pants to show blank skin where his genitals should be See? Im as anatomically impaired as a Ken doll. Now make yourself useful and gimme that towel, will you? Bethany tosses it to him and he starts wiping his clothes dry Honestly, you bottom feeders and your arrogance, you think everybodys just trying to get in your knickers.
— Dogma film art
Metatron: Im pissed off, is what I am! Do you go around drenching everybody that comes into your room with flame-retardant chemicals? No wonder youre single.
— Dogma film sin
Metatron: Noah was a drunk, look what he accomplished. And no ones even asking you to build an ark. All you have to do is go to New Jersey and visit a small church on a very important day.
— Dogma film church
Jay: Im Jay, and this my hetero lifemate Silent Bob. I dont know who those kids were, but they would have kicked yours and Lunchboxs asses if I hadnt of represented.
— Dogma film life
Jay: You mean those dickheads with the signs and the pictures of dead babies? Shit no! Me and Silent Bob are pro-choice. A womans body is her own goddamn business!
— Dogma film god
Gun Salesman: We call this piece the Fecalator. One look at it and the target shits him or herself. Try it on.
— Dogma film self
Loki: Well, its a lot more compact than the flaming sword, but its not nearly as impressive. Just doesnt have that wrath-of-the-almighty edge to it. I mean, come on, how am I supposed to strike fear into the hearts of the wicked with this thing? Look at this
— Dogma film fear
Loki: Easy for you to say. You get off light in razing. You got to stand there and read at Sodom and Gomorrah, I had to do all the work.
— Dogma film work
Jay: So, whats up? You gotta friend for Silent Bob, or you wanna do us both? If so, Im first; I hate sloppy seconds.
— Dogma film hate
Bethany: Youre a man of principle. Jerseys pretty far from McHenry. May I ask what brought you here?
— Dogma film man
Bethany: This is gonna sound really bad. I cant believe Im even thinking about this, but I think I should go with you?
— Dogma film thinking
Jay: What, like steady? You wanna be my girlfriend? All right, but Silent Bob has to live with us and you pay the rent.
— Dogma film live
Bethany: A hundred bucks for being my guide. Youre going to Jersy anyway; all Im asking is to tag along.
— Dogma film you
Rufus: You know, thats a lot like the good people of Antioch were saying, right before they stoned my ass!
— Dogma film people
Rufus: His only real beef with mankind is the shit that gets carried out in His name. Wars, bigotry, televangelism. The big one, though, is the fractioning of all of the religions. He said mankind got it all wrong by taking a good idea and building a belief structure on it.
— Dogma film religion
Rufus: I just think it’s better to have ideas. I mean, you can change an idea, changing a belief is trickier. People die for it, people kill for it. The whole of existence is in jeopardy right now, because of the Catholic belief structure regarding this plenary indulgence bullshit. Bartleby and Loki, whether they know it or not, are exploiting that belief. And if they’re successful, you, me ALL of this ends in a heartbeat, all over a belief.
— Dogma film success
Whitland: We creamed em. Last night was a re-run which says to me Do I smell onion? Loki and Bartleby are noticed seated, Loki peeling onions with a knife Excuse me. May I ask what youre doing in my boardroom?
— Dogma film art
Bartleby: Im gonna have to start by apologizing. My friend has a bit of a penchant for the dramatic.
— Dogma film art
Bartleby: Youre doing it again. Stop. What did we talk about? Ahem. You are responsible for raising an icon which draws worship from the Lord. You have broken the First Commandment. More than that, Im afraid not a one of you passes for a decent human being. Your continued existence is a mockery of morality. Like you, Mr. Burton. Last year, you cheated on your wife of 17 years 8 times. You even had sex with her best friend while you were supposed to be home watching the kids.
— Dogma film time
Rufus: Mary gave birth to Christ without knowing a mans touch, this is true, but she did have a husband. And do you really think he would have stayed married to her for all those years if he wasnt getting laid? The nature of God and the Virgin birth are all leaps of faith, but to believe a married couple never got downwell thats just plain gullibility!
— Dogma film god

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