Douglas Adams (Writer)

#3504 Douglas Adams

The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about perspective
#3505 Douglas Adams

We don't have to save the . The world is big enough to look after itself. What we have to be concerned about is whether or not the world we live in will be capable of sustaining us in it. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about world
#3506 Douglas Adams

A learning experience is one of those things that say, "You know that thing you just did? Don't do that." .

Douglas Adams Quotes about learning
#3507 Douglas Adams

If you try and take aapart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about art
#3508 Douglas Adams

When you're a student or whatever, and you can't afford a car, or a plane fare, or even a train fare, all you can do is hope that someone will stop and pick you up. At the moment we can't afford to go to other planets. We don't have the ships to take us there. There may be other people out there (I don't have any opinions about Life Out There, I just don't know) but it's nice to think that one could, even here and now, be whisked away just by hitchhiking. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about hope
#3509 Douglas Adams

You are disoriented. Blackness swims toward you like a school of eels who have just seen something that eels like a lot. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about war
#3510 Douglas Adams

Driving a Porsche in London is like bringing a Ming vase to a football game. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about football
#3511 Douglas Adams

The idea thathas appeared like a knight in shining armour to lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he, by peddling second rate technology, led them into it in the first place, and continues to do so today. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about technology
#3512 Douglas Adams

I think a nerd is a person who uses the telephone to talk to other people about telephones. And a computer nerd therefore is somebody who uses a computer in order to use a computer. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about people
#3514 Douglas Adams

There are some oddities in the perspective with which we see the . The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be, but we have done various things over intellectualto slowly correct some of our misapprehensions. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about perspective
#3518 Douglas Adams

The world is a thing of utter inordinate complexity and richness and strangeness that is absolutely awesome. I mean the idea that such complexity can arise not only out of such simplicity, but probably absolutely out of nothing, is the most fabulous extraordinary idea. And once you get some kind of inkling of how that might have happened, it's just wonderful. And … the opportunity to spend 70 or 80 years of your life in such a universe is time well spent as far as I am concerned. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about life
#3519 Douglas Adams

(adj.) Politely rude. Briskly vague. Firmly uninformative. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about risk
#3520 Douglas Adams

(Co-written with John Lloyd) .

Douglas Adams Quotes about wit
#3521 Douglas Adams

(n.) One who changes his name to be further to the front. (vb.) To beat an expert at a game of skill by playing so appallingly bad that none of his clever tactics or strategies are of any use to him.(adj.) Politely rude. Briskly vague. Firmly uninformative.(vb. n.) Polite word for buggery.(ptcpl.vb.) Struggling to extrude an extremely large turd.(abs.n.) The vague uncomfortable feeling you get when sitting on a seat which is still warm from somebody else's bottom(vb.) To enter the kitchen with the precise determination to perform something only to forget what it is just before you do it. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about war
#3522 Douglas Adams

If it looks like a , and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family Anatidae on our hands. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about family
#3523 Douglas Adams

It would be hard to learn much less than my pupils … without undergoing a pre-frontal lobotomy. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about learn
#3524 Douglas Adams

If the Universe came to an end every time there was some uncertainty about what had happened in it, it would never have got beyond the first picosecond. And many of course don’t. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about time
#3525 Douglas Adams

Let usthe unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about self
#3527 Douglas Adams

"What really is the point of trying to teach anything to anybody?" This question seemed to provoke a murmur of sympathetic approval from up and down the table. Richard continued, "What I mean is that if you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else. That forces you to sort it out in your mind. And the more slow and dim-witted your pupil, the more you have to break things down into more and more simple ideas. And that's really the essence of programming. By the time you've sorted out a complicated idea into little steps that even a stupid machine can deal with, you've learned something about it yourself. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about time
#3528 Douglas Adams

Theusually learns more than the pupils. Isn't that true? "It would be hard to learn much less than my pupils," came a low growl from somewhere on the table, "without undergoing a pre-frontal lobotomy." .

Douglas Adams Quotes about true
#3529 Douglas Adams

Thewas the way to... to... The Door was The Way. Good. Capital letters were always the best way of dealing with things you didn't have a good answer to. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about good
#3530 Douglas Adams

And that, apart from a flurry of sensational newspaper reports which exposed him as a fraud, then trumpeted him as the real thing so that they could have another round of exposing him as a fraud again and then trumpeting him as the real thing again, until they got bored and found a nice juicy snooker player to harass instead, was that. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about art
#3531 Douglas Adams

This was the evening of the last day of Gordon Way's life ... The weather forecast hadn't mentioned that, of course, that wasn't the job of the weather forecast, but then his horoscope had been pretty misleading as well. It had mentioned an unusual amount of planetary activity in his sign and had urged him to differentiate between what he thought he wanted and what he actually needed, and suggested that he should tackle emotional or work problems with determination and complete honesty, but had inexplicably failed to mention that he would be dead before the day was out. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about life
#3532 Douglas Adams

WFT-II was the only British software company that could be mentioned in the same sentence as such major U.S. companies as Microsoft or Lotus. The sentence would probably run along the lines of "WFT-II, unlike such major U.S. companies as Microsoft or Lotus ..." but it was a start. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about war
#3533 Douglas Adams

Or maybe she decided that an evening with your old tutor would be blisteringly dull and opted for the more exhilarating course of washing her hair instead. Dear me, I know what I would have done. It's only lack of hair that forces me to pursue such a hectic social round these days. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about you
#3534 Douglas Adams

The seat received him in a loose and distant kind of way, like an aunt who disapproves of the last fifteen years of your life and will therefore furnish you with a basic sherry, but refuses to catch your eye. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about life
#3535 Douglas Adams

"Sir , renowned inventor of the milled-edge coin and the catflap!" "The what?" said Richard. "The catflap! A device of the utmost cunning, perspicuity and invention. It is a door within a door, you see, a ..." "Yes," said Richard, "there was also the small matter of gravity." "Gravity," said Dirk with a slightly dismissive shrug, "yes, there was that as well, I suppose. Though that, of course, was merely a discovery. It was there to be discovered." ... "You see?" he said dropping his cigarette butt, "They even keep it on at weekends. Someone was bound to notice sooner or later. But the catflap ... ah, there is a very different matter. Invention, pure creative invention. It is a door within a door, you see." .

Douglas Adams Quotes about light
#3536 Douglas Adams

If thecame to aneverythere was some uncertainty about what had happened in it, it would never have got beyond the first picosecond. And many of course don’t. It’s like a human body, you see. A few cuts and bruises here and there don’t hurt it. Not even major surgery if it’s done properly.are just the scar tissue.andheal themselves up around them andsimply remember a version of events which makes as much sense as they require it to make. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about man
#3537 Douglas Adams

It can hardly be a coincidence that noonhas ever produced the phrase, "as pretty as an airport." .

Douglas Adams
#3538 Douglas Adams

was theofand, frankly, acted like it. .

Douglas Adams
#3539 Douglas Adams

The kid was deliberately and maliciously watchingat him. .

Douglas Adams
#3540 Douglas Adams

You made us what you would not dare to be yourselves. Yet you will not acknowledge us. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about knowledge
#3541 Douglas Adams

If I walk along one of your streets in this... world you have made for yourselves without us, then barely an eye will once flicker in my direction. … Especially when I'm wearing the helmet! .

Douglas Adams Quotes about world
#3542 Douglas Adams

It can hardly be a coincidence that noonhas ever produced the expression "As pretty as an airport." Airports are ugly. Some are very ugly. Some attain a degree of ugliness that can only be the result of a special effort. This ugliness arises because airports are full of people who are tired, cross, and have just discovered that their luggage has landed in Murmansk ( is the only exception of this otherwise infallible rule), and architects have on the whole tried to reflect this in their designs. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about people
#3543 Douglas Adams

"My name is Kate Schechter. Two 'c's, two 'h's, two 'e's, and also a 't', an 'r', and an 's'. Provided they're all there the bank won't be fussy about the order they come in. They never seem to know themselves." .

Douglas Adams
#3544 Douglas Adams

The usual people tried to claim responsibility. First the , then theand the . Evenrushed out a statement to the effect that the situation was completely under control, that it was a one in a million chance, that there was hardly any radioactive leakage at all, and that the site of the explosion would make a nice location for a day out with the kids and a picnic, before finally having to admit that it wasn't actually anything to do with them at all. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about people
#3545 Douglas Adams

In fact, a very similar phrase was invented to account for the sudden transition of wood, metal, plastic and concrete into an explosive condition, which was "nonlinear, catastrophic structural exasperation," or to put it another way--as a junior cabinet minister did on television the following night in a phrase which was to haunt the rest of his career--the check-in desk had just got "fundamentally fed up with being where it was." .

Douglas Adams Quotes about men
#3547 Douglas Adams

You would probably not say that he was sleeping the sleep of the just, unless you meant the just asleep, but it was certainly the sleep of someone who was not fooling about when he climbed into bed of a night and turned off the light. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about light
#3549 Douglas Adams

...he had a tremendous propensity for getting lost when driving. This was largely because of his "Zen" method of navigation, which was simply to find any car that looked as if it knew where it was going and follow it. The results were more often surprising than successful, but he felt it was worth it for the sake of the few occasions when it was both. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about success
#3550 Douglas Adams

Always expecting this and expecting that. May I recommendto you? A life that is burdened with expectations is a heavy life. Its fruit isand disappointment. Learn to be one with theof the moment. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about life
#3551 Douglas Adams

Dirk was unused to making such a minuscule impact on anybody. He checked to be sure that he did have his huge leather coat and his absurd red hat on and that he was properly and dramatically silhouetted by the light of the doorway. He felt momentarily deflated and said, "Er..." by way of self-introduction, but it didn't get the boy's attention. He didn't like this. The kid was deliberately and maliciously watching television at him. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about men
#3552 Douglas Adams

The explosion was now officially designated an "Act of ." But, thought Dirk, what god? And why? What god would be hanging aroundof Heathrow Airport trying to catch the 15:37 flight to Oslo? .

Douglas Adams Quotes about god
#3554 Douglas Adams

The device [electronic I Ching calculator] also functioned as an ordinary calculator, but only to a limited degree. It could handle any calculation which returned an answer of anything up to 4. ...anything above 4 it represented merely as "A Suffusion of Yellow." Dirk was not certain if this was a programming error or an insight beyond his ability to fathom, but he was crazy about it anyway, enough to hand over twenty pounds of ready cash for the thing. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about present
#3555 Douglas Adams

It was a battered yellowwhich had had one careful owner but also three suicidally reckless ones. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about care
#3556 Douglas Adams

She held the car grimly to the road as it negotiated the bends with considerable difficulty and the straight sections with only slightly less. The car had landed her in court on one occasion when one of its front wheels had sailed off on a little expedition of its own and nearly caused an accident. The police witness in court had referred to her beloved Citro .

Douglas Adams Quotes about love
#3557 Douglas Adams

My own strategy is to find a car, or the nearest equivalent, which looks as if it knows where it's going and follow it. I rarely end up where I was intending to go, but often I end up somewhere I needed to be. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about strategy
#3558 Douglas Adams

...my methods of navigation have their advantage. I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about age
#3559 Douglas Adams

What was theprinciple? 'Once you have discounted the impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.' I reject that entirely. The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it which the merely improbable lacks. How often have you been presented with an apparently rational explanation of something that works in all respects other than one, which is just that it is hopelessly improbable? Your instinct is to say 'Yes, but he or she simply wouldn't do that.' .

Douglas Adams Quotes about truth
#3560 Douglas Adams

It was his subconscious which told him this — that infuriating part of a person's brain which never responds to interrogation, merely gives little meaningful nudges and then sits humming quietly to itself, saying nothing. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about art
#3561 Douglas Adams

There was constant talk about hewing things and ravaging things and splitting things asunder. Lots of big talk of things being mighty, and of things being riven, and of things being in thrall to other things, but very little attention given, as I now realise, to the laundry. .

Douglas Adams Quotes about aging

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