Elizabeth Scott

You tell yourself that you arent something or that you cant be something, and you know what? It will become true. You have to decide who you are and what you can do and then go after what you want. Because believe me, no one is going to give it to you.

— Elizabeth Scott self

The truth is, I feel beyond sad. I feel empty. Numb.

— Elizabeth Scott truth

Why do people think being with someone is the answer to everything?

— Elizabeth Scott people

But the past couple of days I’ve missed you so much it’s felt like missing you is all I am.

— Elizabeth Scott past

Things change. Stuff happens. Life goes on.

— Elizabeth Scott life

I do not fall. I fell so hard so long ago there is nothing left for me to land on. I just keep falling and falling and falling.

— Elizabeth Scott fall

And what if---what are you if the people who are supposed to love you can leave you like youre nothing?

— Elizabeth Scott love

love is...you get confused and you do stuff you dont mean to do-and you just-you hate yourself and sometimes you dont even want to love the person you do because it would be so much easier if you didnt.But you just-you just do.

— Elizabeth Scott love

The thing about hearts is that they always want to keep beating

— Elizabeth Scott art

I’m always the one who doesn’t have a date, the one guys walk up to and say, “So, is your friend, you know, with someone?” and I may not be the only girl without someone, but it feels like it sometimes. A lot of the time.

— Elizabeth Scott time

I love books. I like that the moment you open one and sink into it you can escape from the world, into a story thats way more interesting that yours will ever be.

— Elizabeth Scott love

I want to care, but I don’t. I look at you and all I feel is tired.

— Elizabeth Scott you

Things... well, things suck sometimes. And sometimes you can fix it. And sometimes you cant. Its just the way it is.

— Elizabeth Scott time

He is nothing to look at, and yet I can’t stop looking at him. There is something beautiful in how his face is made, how all the tiny flaws blend together into something more perfect than perfection could ever be.

— Elizabeth Scott beautiful

I want to lie down on the bench then, or better yet, on the grass, rest on something living and see if I can hear the dead underneath.

— Elizabeth Scott living

...sometimes, you have to break your own heart.

— Elizabeth Scott time

My full name is Lauren Lee Smith. Of all the names I could have been given, thats the one I got. Lauren Lee Smith. It has all the personality of a toaster.

— Elizabeth Scott personality

Too late, too late, juice pouring does not a kind soul make, and I killed you.

— Elizabeth Scott soul

It was like we were all so busy trying to be happy or saying we were happy, but underneath there was nothing but bitterness, the kind that could only be bled out in ink, in unspoken word.

— Elizabeth Scott happy

There are a million rules for being a girl. There are a million things you have to do to get through each day. High school has things that can trip you up, ruin you, people say one thing and mean another, and you have to know all the rules, you have to know what you can and cant do.

— Elizabeth Scott people

The thing is, that world doesnt exist. All growing up means is that your realize no one will come along to fix things. No one will come along to save you.

— Elizabeth Scott world

I deserved the shaking and the headaches and the fact that every single time I took a breath I felt a squeezing in my chest, my heart beating even though I wished it wasnt.

— Elizabeth Scott time

Whatever happened to me just now has gotten to me, broken past the fragile shell Ive built. More than my memory is gone. My soul has wings that beat to a heart I dont understand and I see things, feel things that I know arent from here, but that are so real.

— Elizabeth Scott art

And yet here I am. Broken and bleeding on the inside, heartsick, I am here.

— Elizabeth Scott art

It could be enough, maybe, or at least a start, but the problem is that at night I tumble into dreams that arent dreams at all. I tumble into memories and wake up aching for a dying world and a quiet, cold life that offered me nothing but sitting in a still room.

— Elizabeth Scott life

And you… do you know what you are?” “Stupid?” “Beautiful,” he says, his face turning red.

— Elizabeth Scott beautiful

I want to care, but I dont. I look at you and all I feel is tired. I walk through school and all I want to do is leave. I wake up in the morning and dont know why Im here. I feel like Im not real.

— Elizabeth Scott school

Okay, I guess you can come in. Um, Hannah, you have to, you know, open the front door so I can actually come in. I thought you were going to - youre standing under my window. Arent you supposed to climb up here or something? My ladders at home. Also, you call throwing rocks at your window clichéd?

— Elizabeth Scott home

I don’t think I could have picked a worse guy to be my soul mate.

— Elizabeth Scott soul

Do you really think he was flirting with me? Lets see. He gave you candy you hate - I saw your face - and a CD of songs... He looks at the CD. All of these are, like, twenty years old at least. Figures. Oh, and he groped your face. Sounds like true love to me.

— Elizabeth Scott love

How come you like Josh so much anyway? All he does is sit around drinking overpriced coffee and bitching about how awful things are He cares about the world. If he cared about the world, hed donate the ten thousand dollars he must spend on coffee every year to charity. That would be doing something.

— Elizabeth Scott world

Are you reading? I say. Its not that I dont think Finn can read or anything, but its just - well, not what I expected to see. I figured Finn spent his time doing whatever it is guys who arent Josh do when they arent in school. Burping, or something. Try not to look so surprised, Finn says. I read. I can count to ten. Sometimes I can even spell my own name.

— Elizabeth Scott time

Its bullshit. Its so easy to label people, to look at a list of symptoms and say, This is who you are. This is what you are.

— Elizabeth Scott people

I-I dont usually go around throwing rocks at peoples windows. Or saying that Ive wanted to kiss you since your first day at work, when you wanted to know why we had three codes for fish sandwiches when we only sold one kind.

— Elizabeth Scott people

Well as much as Im sure the people next door who are pretending they arent looking at me would like to hear what I have to say, Id rather say it to just you.

— Elizabeth Scott people

She looked at me for real and saw I was serious. She saw I knew she was for me like you know that tomorrow morning the sun will rise.

— Elizabeth Scott you

Three life lessons: 1.No one will see you. 2.No one will say anything. 3.No one will save you.

— Elizabeth Scott life

All the things Ive thought about love are true. Its beautiful and terrible and it doesnt make things perfect. It ends things, and it brings beginnings. This is mine.

— Elizabeth Scott love

Something in me, in my bruised heart, wakes up, and even though Im terrified, I dont push the feeling away.

— Elizabeth Scott art

I didn’t want to see it. I didn’t think he’d ever really notice me, and in the end, he didn’t.

— Elizabeth Scott think

I have been smashed and put back together so many times nothing works right. Nothing is where it should be, heavy thumping in my shoulder where my heart now beats.

— Elizabeth Scott time

My father looked like he was having a stroke— not that Mel seemed to notice because he just kept talking. “Patrick needs a ride. No car, you know, and so I figured, hey, I can pick up some gas money.” He laughed. No one else did, and now Patrick looked like he was trying to push himself inside the door and hide.

— Elizabeth Scott money

I wants us to be real. I want to be just you and me. - Ryan

— Elizabeth Scott ya

I know who I want to be with, and it isnt her. - Ryan

— Elizabeth Scott ya

Kate, dont be like that. You know I only did so well because I yearn-see, SAT word- to follow you to college and steal your heart. Uh-huh. Too bad for you I dont plan on attending clown college. He grinned. Only you would ignore the incredibly sweet thing I just said. Only you would describe one of your asinine comments as incredibly sweet.

— Elizabeth Scott art

Vitamins ruined my life. Not that there was much left to ruin, but still. I know that blaming vitamins for my horrible life sounds strange. After all, vitamins are supposed to keep people healthy. Also, theyre inanimate objects. But thanks to them I was stuck in the Jackson Center Mall watching my father run around in a bee costume.

— Elizabeth Scott life

Im so not interesting in having to try and make something out of foil. What, you didnt like the poncho with wraparound leggings? It was beyond hideou- wait a minute. You watch that show? My mom loves it. But your suppose to be sulking in the basement getting ready to light fires. What can I say? Im a failure as a teenager. I watch TV with my mom.

— Elizabeth Scott love

Ive been taught that love is beautiful and kind, but it isnt like that at all. It is beautiful, but its a terrible beauty, a ruthless one, and you fall-you fall, and the thing is- The thing is you want to. You dont care whats coming you just want who your heart beats for.

— Elizabeth Scott love

I told you we were meant to be, he says, still smiling, still so Finn, who was always here but who I just didnt see and now-- Well, now I kiss him.

— Elizabeth Scott kiss

Little Alice, all hollowed out, so easy to smash into a million little pieces.

— Elizabeth Scott

Once upon a time, I did not live in Shady Pines. Once upon a time, my name was not Alice. Once upon a time, I didnt know how lucky I was.

— Elizabeth Scott time

the thing is you can get used to anything you think you cant you want to die but you dont you cant you just are

— Elizabeth Scott you

I didnt want it to be one good memory that led to a lot of bad ones. I wanted it to stay what it was, one amazing moment, something that was strong and sweet enough to stand on its own. Something I could remember without any pain. - Kate

— Elizabeth Scott pain

Cute is one of those words people use when they know youre smart enough to realize youve got so much personality means youre ugly.

— Elizabeth Scott art

I think the way I feel when I look at Evan comes from her. In pictures taken the day she married my dad, she was reckless, laughing, spinning around in circles. She looked like her whole world was him. She looked a kind of happy I cant even imagine. I dont want that. I dont want to be like that. I don want to feel the way she did because I know what happens when you do. You love with your whole heart, with everything, and you wake up one morning and kiss someone good-bye the way you always do except you mean it as good-bye forever.

— Elizabeth Scott love

You ready? Evan asks, and hes looking at me, and I love his hair, I love his smile, I lo--I Love You, I say, and as I watch his smile bloom I finally get how great those three little words are. I finally get what they really mean.

— Elizabeth Scott love

I knew I was having a panic attack. I hadnt had one in a while, though, and Id forgotton how they made everything like it- and I- was going to fall apart. How they reminded me of how trapped I was.

— Elizabeth Scott art

Hope was supposed to be a good thing, but it was starting to feel like every other four-letter word youre not supposed to say.

— Elizabeth Scott hope

Check it out. I got a new name tag today. He unclipped it and held it out toward me. I looked at it. A. GUY. He grinned. Someone actually asked me what the A stood for, he said, his hand brushing mine as he took the tag back, sliding it into his pocket. I said Larry.

— Elizabeth Scott war

I thought living dead girls couldnt feel pain, thought I was emptied out but Im not, Im not.

— Elizabeth Scott pain

This is what happiness is, past the rubbish of its overuse as a word, past the cracked gloss of the letters that mean nothing when strung together. They mean something now, and I know what its like when you and someone else are right together. How simple is is, and how amazing.

— Elizabeth Scott happiness

This is the real unwritten rule: You dont want what you know you shouldnt. And I havent just broken that rule. I have wrecked it, smashed it, and still... And still I want.

— Elizabeth Scott you

My mother taught me to believe in silver, to believe in things, but I think its more important to believe in me.

— Elizabeth Scott believe

Grace is my favourite church word. A state of being. Something you can pray for. Something God can grant. Something you can obtain. Perfection is out of reach. But grace -- grace you can reach for.

— Elizabeth Scott god

Josh pulls me aside. Hey, About before, I just... I wanted to say ... well, I think youre pretty special. He says, kind of stumbling over the words a little. Like hes hesitant to say them, now i wish hed hug me again. And then kiss me. But he doesnt. He just waves and walks off. I sigh. Hannah, I just... I want you to know if I pause alot when I tell you how special you are I want you to think that Im... very... very... deep, Finn says

— Elizabeth Scott words

Wherever I go, Ill always see you. Youll always be with me. And theres no happy ending coming here, no way a story that started on a night thats burned into my heart will end the way I wish it could. Youre really gone, no last words, and no matter how many letters I write to you, youre never going to reply. Youre never going to say good-bye. So I will. Good-bye, Julia. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for being you.

— Elizabeth Scott art

Just once, I wanted to lose something without the whole world watching.

— Elizabeth Scott world

Ill always remember taking your hand and telling you that everything would be okay.

— Elizabeth Scott you

I heard how people sounded when their dreams were shattered, when their lives were turned into a waking nightmare.

— Elizabeth Scott dreams

I think love is huge, overwhelming. I think its terrible and beautiful.

— Elizabeth Scott love

Darling, the world doesnt owe you anything.

— Elizabeth Scott world

Thats you, right? he asks me. Yeah. Cute. Not that I, uh, think little kids are cute. Just that you were cute. I mean, you can see how you turned out to be so...oh.

— Elizabeth Scott you

The heart is a place with worm holes made by feelings you arent supposed to have but do.

— Elizabeth Scott art

I felt nothing all the time, and it had started to feel normal. It should have scared me, but it didnt.

— Elizabeth Scott time

I see what grief does, how it strips you bare, shows you all the things you dont want to know. That loss doesnt end, that there isnt a moment where you are done, when you can neatly put it away and move on.

— Elizabeth Scott men

The story of my life can be told in silver: in chocolate mills, serving spoons, and services for twelve. The story of my life has nothing to do with me. The story of my life is things. Things that aren’t mine, that won’t ever be mine. It’s all I’ve ever known. I wish it wasn’t.

— Elizabeth Scott life

I don’t know, shifted a little or something, smoothed down–people would think of me the way they think of Dave, and everything would always be perfect. I would be perfect.

— Elizabeth Scott people

...Are you okay? he says, still looking at me, and I feel my smile slip, fade, and the silence that falls over us then is so total I can’t hear anything, not the rush-hiss of my heart pounding in my chest, not the sounds all around us; insects, wind, and the distant clatter of others’ lives in houses built close but not too close because when we look out our windows we all like to pretend that everything we see is ours. But Ryan is not mine.

— Elizabeth Scott art

I wish it had never happened because then I wouldnt think about it as Im falling asleep.

— Elizabeth Scott sleep

Look at me. We aren´t them lauren. You´re not your mother or father any more than I´m my mother. You´re you and I´m me and I love you.

— Elizabeth Scott love

The sun will rise tomorrow. It always does, and all the wishing in the world for the way things were, or for what they could have been, wont change that. It wont change how things are.

— Elizabeth Scott change

I suppose hes making a real fashion statement, but this is high school. Youre not supposed to be real. Youre supposed to be enough like everyone else to get through and out into the waiting world.

— Elizabeth Scott men

So, youre telling me that no matter what, you cant be happy? Well, darling, its no wonder youre miserable. Its what you want...So then try (to be happy).

— Elizabeth Scott happy

What had been became what was and a story only works when you know the ending. When the people in it don’t seem like pretend. When you can think about that girl and how she was once upon a time, and see her. When you don’t already know the story is a lie.

— Elizabeth Scott time

You know who you are you just have to believe it.

— Elizabeth Scott believe

Youre right . . . you cant go back. No matter how much you want to, you never can

— Elizabeth Scott you

I never went for the talkers.

— Elizabeth Scott

I didnt feel anything watching him go. I didnt even wish I did.

— Elizabeth Scott wish

I always wanted to be grown up. When I was little I couldn’t wait to be a teenager and go to high school. When I got there I wanted to be done with it, wanted to get out into the world, the real one, and live in it. The thing is, that world doesn’t exist. All growing up means is that you realize no one will come along to fix things. No one will come along to save you.

— Elizabeth Scott world

Sometimes being me is very confusing.

— Elizabeth Scott time

He looks trapped, helpless and furious, and that’s a feeling I know too well. Know how much it hurts. Know how it holds you down, how every day there are a thousand little ways to see there is nothing you can do to change who or what you are.

— Elizabeth Scott change

I think you’re the saddest person I’ve ever met. It’s like you’re drowning in it.

— Elizabeth Scott sad

Then I heard someone laugh. I wished I didnt know whose laugh it was, but I knew Wills laugh just like I knew he had a small scar right above his left elbow. You couldnt be reluctantly lust-ridden for someone without noticing stuff about them.

— Elizabeth Scott lust

Please. If you were mostly dead in the middle of the road Id obviously stop. And then Id watch you die. Kate to Will

— Elizabeth Scott you

Imagine a guy. He’s a little taller than you, with perfect skin, skin that just screams “touch me!” and dark hair and gorgeous blue eyes and he looks so sweet and he is sweet. And then have him blush a little.

— Elizabeth Scott dark

Id dressed up and hoped and I was so tired of doing that, so tired of dreaming and being unable to stop it despite the fact that Id seen, maybe better than anyone here, what dreams could do to you.

— Elizabeth Scott hope

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