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Flight of the Conchords TV series

Bret: When I first met you you tried to have me deported from New Zealand because you thought I was an Australian.

— Flight of the Conchords TV series thought

Sinjay: Thats a great speech. Too bad New Zealanders are a bunch of cocky a-holes descended from criminals and retarded monkeys.

— Flight of the Conchords TV series sin

Murray: You get a love triangle, you know, a Fleetwood Mac situation. Although there was four of them, so more of a love square. But you know, no-one gets on.

— Flight of the Conchords TV series love

Jemaine: Yeah, Sally wanted to leave when you turned the light on. I think she found it weird - the whole thing with you there with the - with the lighton.

— Flight of the Conchords TV series light

Jemaine: Yeah. Its cause you and her used to go out, but also because of the thing with the light. Shes thinking, Oh this is a nice situation. But then, Ugh, who-- who turned on the light?

— Flight of the Conchords TV series light

Bret: Yeah. Yeah, maybe. But I think its mainly because her and I used to go out for like six months.

— Flight of the Conchords TV series think

Jemaine: Yeah, well -- yeah, its mainly because you used to go out, but also mainly because of the whole situation with the light.

— Flight of the Conchords TV series light

Eddie: The job is you have to hold up this sign and you have to make sure it points in the right direction. Now, does that sound like something you can do?

— Flight of the Conchords TV series you

Jemaine: Sounds like something a lamppost could do. Thats all but you just never thought of it before.

— Flight of the Conchords TV series thought

Eddie: You know what youre sign material this guy over thinks things OK You cant over think in this business, you cannot. What if the wind comes, and blows it away, you ever think of that Enrico Fermi?

— Flight of the Conchords TV series business

Mel: Oh good, good. Cause if—if I was a convict, you know, and I was in a cell with a pretty boy like you, I would definitely wait till lights out, put my hand over your mouth—

— Flight of the Conchords TV series light

Murray: Alright, Item 3. Now if one of the band members was to have a girlfriend, would you find that A: Very Positive; B: Positive

— Flight of the Conchords TV series positive

Murray: Youve still got Jemaine anyway. And hes always available, isnt he? Hes not gonna not gonna get a girlfriend any time soon, so

— Flight of the Conchords TV series time

Bret: Oh, no, Im not gonna leave her, I told you that. You know, I like the band but, no, Im not leaving Coco.

— Flight of the Conchords TV series you

Murray: And Murray yes, present, thank you Im always here anyway, I dont know why I bother with my line.

— Flight of the Conchords TV series present

Jemaine Bowie: I didnt mean something like that, I only meant something like I dont know, wear make-up, or—

— Flight of the Conchords TV series

Jemaine: I think, sometimes you hear what you wanna hear. It wouldnt be gay to put a wig on a man and pretend theyre a woman. How could that be gay if youre pretending theyre a woman? Not that I did it.

— Flight of the Conchords TV series time

Dave: Well, you guys are in America now, and theres a lot of prejudism here. Especially towards people like you.

— Flight of the Conchords TV series war

Dave They dont like you either. Neither do the Chinese, the Asians, Polish, Russian, Croatians, even the Indians.

— Flight of the Conchords TV series you

Jemaine: It doesnt matter what country someones from, or what they look like, or the color of their skin. It doesnt matter what they smell like, or that they spell words slightly differentlysome would say, more correctly.

— Flight of the Conchords TV series words

Jemaine: Let me finish. Im a person. Brets a person. Youre a person. That person over there is a person. And each person deserves to be treated like a person.

— Flight of the Conchords TV series you

Jemaine: Yes, but the point is because of your $2.79 spending spree, we now owe $60, and our phone and gas are gonna be cut off.

— Flight of the Conchords TV series you

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