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Four Rooms 1995

Chester: Like my old grand daddy used to say, The less a man makes declarative statements, the less apt he is to look foolish in retrospect.

— Four Rooms 1995 men

Angela: Everybody starts out as strangers, Ted. Its where we end up that counts.

— Four Rooms 1995 art

Angela: I could go on and on about his cock, his bone, his knob, his bishop, wang, thang, rod, hot rod, hump mobile, oscar, dong, dagger, banana, cucumber, salami, sausage, kielbassa, schlong, dink, tool, big ben, Mr. Happy, Peter Pecker, pee-pee, wee-wee, wiener, pisser, pistol, piston joint, hose, horn, middle leg, third leg, meat, stick, joystick, dipstick, one-eyed wonder, junior, little head, little guy, rumple foreskin, tootsie roll, love muscle, skin flute, roto-rooter, snake, hammer, rammer, spammer, bazooka, rubber, chubby, sticky, stubby, schmeck, schmuck, schvantze, ying-yang, yang...

— Four Rooms 1995 love

[after seeing that the room is on fire; Ted has a needle in his hand while holding the leg of a dead woman; Sara has a bottle of champagne in her hand, and Juancho is smoking]Man: [perks eyebrows] Did they misbehave?

— Four Rooms 1995 man

Ted the Bellhop: Im coming up and if there isnt a dead body by the time I get there, Ill make one myself. You!

— Four Rooms 1995 time

Ted the Bellhop: Im in a situation I cant begin to explain

— Four Rooms 1995

Eva: Goddess Diana, fail you I will. / I was to bring you fresh sperm from my Bill. / I had him erect and his semen would follow. / Alas, I was hot. So hot that I swallowed.

— Four Rooms 1995 god

Kiva: Youre not my mother.Elspeth: Yes I am.Kiva: Then why are we sleeping together?

— Four Rooms 1995 sleep

[first lines]Sam the Bellhop: We used to have Fifty on staff here. Fifty! Im the only one left. It all comes down to one schmuck, me. The night shift bellhop. What the hell is that, a bellhop? Huh, what is that? You know where the name comes from? Huh? From someone stupid! Some schmuck rings and bell and ya hop, you hop front and center.

— Four Rooms 1995 ya

Ted the Bellhop: [to kids] Okay, these are the rules. Dont break the rules, and I wont break your necks.

— Four Rooms 1995 you

Angela: Unfortunately, you dont have the balls to back up the actions of your huge cock.

— Four Rooms 1995 action

Angela: How can I stop talking about something thats so HUGE?

— Four Rooms 1995 angel

Chester: This is Cristal! Everything else is just piss!

— Four Rooms 1995

Elspeth: If she doesnt have his goop in ten minutes, Im going to go in there and get it myself!Jezebel: That would be a first for you!

— Four Rooms 1995 self

Ted the Bellhop: Your dad says he doesnt trust babysitters. Well, cant say I blame him. I had a babysitter myself once...

— Four Rooms 1995 trust

[after Eva is given one hour to find sperm instead of the one she swallowed out of passion]Eva: Youre my last chance.Ted the Bellhop: W- Whoa. Uh-uh. No way. Nope. Besides... its against hotel policy. I was warned. No sex with the clientele.Eva: [bewitches Ted with her eyes] Oh.[now topless, puts her arms around dizzy Ted before the screen fades out]

— Four Rooms 1995 war

Eva: [talking to her fellow witches after bewitching Ted to let her have her way with him] We did it right there in the big cauldron.

— Four Rooms 1995 right

Sigfried: I tie a pretty good knot, dont I Ted?

— Four Rooms 1995 good

Sarah: Did you ever open your eyes?Ted the Bellhop: Yes. And look at me now.Sarah, Juancho: We cant.

— Four Rooms 1995 you

[last lines]Angela: Im gonna go back to my room.Chester: Ill see ya.

— Four Rooms 1995 ya

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