Futurama

#39600 Futurama

Fry: Space. It seems to go on forever. But then you get to the end and the gorilla starts throwin' barrels at you. .

Futurama Quotes about art
#39601 Futurama

Fry: Hello? Pizza delivery for uh... I.C. Wiener? Aww crud. I always thought by this point in my life I'd be the one making the crank calls. .

Futurama Quotes about life
#39602 Futurama

Leela: I'm an alien, alright? Let's drop the subject. Fry: Cool, an alien. Has your race taken over the planet? Leela: No, I just work here. .

Futurama Quotes about work
#39603 Futurama

[Fry's first glimpse of the future] Fry: My God, it's the future. My parents, my co-workers, my girlfriend. I'll never see any of them again. [Pause.] Fry: YAHOO!!! .

Futurama Quotes about work
#39604 Futurama

Fry: Can't you just leave me alone? I'm miserable enough already Leela: I know it's not much consolation, but I know how you feel Fry: No you don't. I've got no home, no family Bender: No friends .

Futurama Quotes about family
#39605 Futurama

Leela: This is Officer 1-B D-I requesting backup. [The camera pulls back to reveal two police officers standing right next to her.] Officer Smitty: We'll be there in 5 minutes. .

Futurama Quotes about right
#39606 Futurama

: Whoa… a real live robot! Or is that some kind of cheesy New Year's costume? : Bite my shiny metal ass. Fry: It doesn't look so shiny to me. Bender: Shinier than yours, meatbag. .

Futurama Quotes about live
#39607 Futurama

Fry: Why would a robot need to drink? Bender: I don't need to drink. I can quit anytime I want! .

Futurama Quotes about time
#39608 Futurama

Leela: I'm sure this must be very upsetting for you. Fry: Y'know, I guess it should be but, actually, I'm glad. I had nothing to live for in my old life. I was broke, I had a humiliating job and I was beginning to suspect my girlfriend might be cheating on me. Leela: Well, at least here you'll be treated with dignity. Now strip naked and get on the probulator. .

Futurama Quotes about life
#39609 Futurama

Fry: Are we going to fly all over space, fighting monsters and teaching alien women how to love? Farnsworth: If by that you mean delivering cargo, then yes. It's a little home business I started to fund my research. Fry: Cool. What's my job gonna be? Farnsworth: You're gonna make sure the cargo reaches its destination. Fry: So, I'm a delivery boy? Farnsworth: Exactly. Fry: All right! I'm a delivery boy! .

Futurama Quotes about love
#39610 Futurama

: Fry, we have a crate to deliver. : Well, let's just dump it in the sewer and say we delivered it. : Too much work. Let's burn it and say we dumped it in the sewer. .

Futurama Quotes about work
#39611 Futurama

: Leela's gonna kill me. Bender: No, she'll probably make me do it. .

Futurama Quotes about end
#39612 Futurama

Bender: I'm going to build my own theme park! With blackjack! And hookers! You know what- forget the park! .

Futurama Quotes about end
#39613 Futurama

Bender: Oh, no room for Bender, eh? I'll build my OWN lunar landing... with blackjack, and hookers! In fact, forget the lunar lander and the blackjack! Ehh, screw the whole thing. .

Futurama Quotes about wit
#39614 Futurama

Craterface: Hi, I'm Craterface. Welcome to Luna Park. I'll have to confiscate your alcohol, sir. Bender: Better mascots than you have tried. (takes a swig of booze and jams the bottle in Craterface's eye) Craterface: At least I have my self-respect. (laughs, then sobs quietly) .

Futurama Quotes about self
#39615 Futurama

[Farnsworth watches Fry, Bender and Leela trying to escape from the Moon Farmer on a telescope] Farnsworth: My God! I've got to save them! Although I am already in my pajamas. [falls asleep] .

Futurama Quotes about sleep
#39616 Futurama

Zoidberg: Now open your mouth and lets have a look at that brain. [Fry opens his mouth] Zoidberg: No, no, not that mouth. Fry: I only have one. Zoidberg: Really? Fry: Uh... is there a human doctor around? Zoidberg: Young lady, I am an expert on humans. Now pick a mouth, open it and say "brglgrglgrrr"! Fry: Uh... brglgrglgrglgrrr! Zoidberg: What? My mother was a saint! Get out! .

Futurama Quotes about man
#39617 Futurama

[Fry and Leela are taking a ride on the Moon Park] Moon Rover Ride Narrator: The story of lunar exploration started with one man - a man with a dream. Animatronic Ralph Kramden: One of these days, Alice-- Bang, zoom, straight to the moon! Leela: Wow! I never realized the first astronauts were so fat. Fry: That's not an astronaut, it's a TV comedian! And he was just using space travel as a metaphor for beating his wife .

Futurama Quotes about art
#39618 Futurama

Animatronic Whalers: [Singing] We're whaler's on the moon, We carry a harpoon. But there ain't no whales, So we tell tall-tales, And sing our whaling tune. .

Futurama Quotes about sin
#39619 Futurama

Fry: Uh, greetings Moon Man, we come in peace. I am Fry from the planet Earth. Sal: Wise guy, huh? If I wasn't so lazy I'd punch you in the stomach. Fry: But, you are lazy right? Sal: Oh, don't get me started! .

Futurama Quotes about art
#39620 Futurama

Fry: Hey, I got everyone magnets. [puts one on Bender's head] Bender: Get it off! Get it off! [singing] How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a... [Fry removes magnet] Bender: Don't ever do that! Magnets interfere with my inhibition unit. Fry: So you flip out and start acting like a folk singer? Bender: Yes. Although a robot would have to be crazy to be a folk singer... .

Futurama Quotes about art
#39621 Futurama

: You know, Fry, out of all the friends I've ever had... you're the first. .

Futurama Quotes about friends
#39622 Futurama

[In their search for a new apartment, Fry, Bender and Leela check out a "suspiciously fantastic apartment"] Fry: I don't get it. What's the catch? Salesman: Oh, no catch. Although we are technically in New Jersey. [cut to Fry, Bender and Leela at the Planet Express employee lounge] Fry: Not one place even remotely liveable. .

Futurama Quotes about art
#39623 Futurama

Bender: [in his sleep] Kill all humans, kill all humans, must kill all humans... : Bender, wake up! Bender: Wh-uh? I was having the most wonderful dream. I think you were in it. Fry: Where's the bathroom? Bender: The bath what? Fry: Bathroom. Bender: The what room? Fry: Bathroom! Bender: The what what? Fry: Never mind. [Bender goes back to sleep.] Bender: Hey, sexy mama, wanna kill all humans? .

Futurama Quotes about sex
#39624 Futurama

Farnsworth: (Talking on the phone) Did he at least die painlessly? To shreds, you say. How's his wife holding up? To shreds, You say. .

Futurama Quotes about pain
#39625 Futurama

Bender: Not enough room? My place is two cubic meters, and we only take up 1.5 cubic meters. We've got room for a whole 'nother two thirds of a person! .

Futurama Quotes about person
#39626 Futurama

[Fry, Bender and Leela are checking out an appartment based on the "Relativity" print by M.C. Escher] Leela: Wow, this is fantastic. Fry: I don't know, I don't want to pay for an extra dimension we're not going to use. .

Futurama Quotes about art
#39627 Futurama

Bender: This last week with Fry has been great. Beneath his warm, soft exterior beats the cold, mechanical heart of a robot. .

Futurama Quotes about war
#39628 Futurama

Calculon: I've been processing this for quite sometime, Monique, will you marry me? Monique: Oh, Calculon! Yes! [Calculon fits the ring on Monique's finger] Monique: It fits! Then you must know I'm... Calculon: Metric? I've always known, but for you I'm willing to convert .

Futurama Quotes about time
#39629 Futurama

Prof. Farnsworth: Oh, fuff! Fry's not causing any trouble. Now, if you don't mind, I'm rather busy. I seem to have mislaid my alien mummy. This sarcophagus should contain the remains of Emperor Nimballa, who ruled Zuban 5 over 29 million years ago. [Fry walks past the lab eating the mummy.] Fry: Hey, Professor, great jerky! Farnsworth: My God, this is an outrage! I was going to eat that mummy! .

Futurama Quotes about mind
#39630 Futurama

Zapp Brannigan: Whatever it is, I'm willing to put wave after wave of men at your disposal. Right, men? Unseen Man: You suck! .

Futurama Quotes about men
#39631 Futurama

: Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men. .

Futurama Quotes about men
#39632 Futurama

Leela: You know Zapp, once I thought you were a big pompous buffoon. Then I realized that inside, you were just a pitiful child. But now I realize that outside that child is a big pompous buffoon! Zapp Brannigan: And which one rocked your world? .

Futurama Quotes about world
#39633 Futurama

: Look, last night was a mistake. Zapp Brannigan: A sexy mistake. Leela: No, just a regular mistake. .

Futurama Quotes about sex
#39634 Futurama

Zapp Brannigan: In the game of chess, you can never let your adversary see your pieces. .

Futurama Quotes about you
#39635 Futurama

Zapp Brannigan: We have failed to uphold Brannigan's Law. However I did make it with a hot alien babe. And in the end, is that not what man has dreamt of since first he looked up at the stars? [Short pause] Zapp Brannigan: Kif, I'm asking you a question. [Kif groans] .

Futurama Quotes about dream
#39636 Futurama

Zapp Brannigan: Brannigan's Law is like Brannigan's love: hard and fast. .

Futurama Quotes about love
#39637 Futurama

Zapp Brannigan: So, crawling back to the Big Z like a bird on its belly. Delicious. Leela: Birds don't crawl. Zapp Brannigan: They've been known to! .

Futurama
#39638 Futurama

Leela: Look, I'm going down to Vergon 6 to save those animals whether you like it or not. Zapp Brannigan: Go ahead. I won't stop you. Leela: Threaten all you-- Wait. What? Zapp Brannigan: We both know you won't make it halfway to Vergon 6 before the craving sets in. Then you'll come crawling back for another taste of sweet, sweet candy... bam! .

Futurama Quotes about animals
#39639 Futurama

Zapp Brannigan: Welcome to my humble chamber, or as I call it, "the Lovenasium". Sham-pag-in? Leela: I didn't realise you were such a coin-a-sewer. Zapp Brannigan: Well, I have studied abroad...or two! .

Futurama Quotes about you
#39640 Futurama

Zapp Brannigan: Captain's journal. Star date; 3000.3. Kif: Who are you talking to, sir? Zapp Brannigan: You! Aren't you getting this? We have detected a vessel attempting to break the security cordon around Vergon 6. I'm anticipating an all-out tactical dogfight, followed by a light dinner... ravioli, ham, sundae bar. .

Futurama Quotes about light
#39641 Futurama

Farnsworth: It's a sunny little doomed planet, inhabited by a number of frisky little doomed animals. Leela: Animals? Farnsworth: That's right. Animals in desperate need of rescue. You see, Vergon 6 was once filled with a super-dense substance known as dark matter, each pound of which weighs over ten thousand pounds. Leela: Wait! What about the animals? Farnsworth: Well, dark matter is extremely valuable as starship fuel. That's why it was all mined out, leaving the planet completely hollow. Leela: Yes, but what about the animals? Farnsworth: The wha? Leela: The animals. Farnsworth: I didn't say anything about animals. Now it seems that the planet will collapse within three days. Incidentally, this will kill all the animals. .

Futurama Quotes about animals
#39642 Futurama

Robot #1: Administer the test. Robot #2: Which of the following would you most prefer? A: a puppy, B: a pretty flower from your sweetie, or C: a large properly formatted data file? Robot #1: Choose! [Fry and Leela confer for a bit.] : Uh, is the puppy mechanical in any way? Robot #2: No, it is the bad kind of puppy. : Then we'll go with that data file! Robot #2: Correct! Robot #1: The flower would also have been acceptable. .

Futurama Quotes about sweet
#39643 Futurama

Fry: Man, we look stupid. We should've gotten store-bought costumes. Leela: Yeah, but there wasn't a Woolworth's in this quadrant. .

Futurama Quotes about man
#39644 Futurama

Bender: Well I'm not doing it! It's a robot holiday. Fry: Really? Which one? Bender: Only Robannukah, the holiest two weeks on the robot calendar. Leela: Oh, come on, Bender. Last month it was "Robomadom" and before that "Robonza". Fry: Man, that one was a blast! Bender: It wasn't just "a blast". It was a sacred tribute to my ancestral prototypes which happened to take the form of a drinking contest. .

Futurama Quotes about lies
#39645 Futurama

Farnsworth: He's good, alright. But he's no Clem Johnson. And Johnson played back in the days before steroid injections were mandatory. .

Futurama Quotes about man
#39646 Futurama

Fry: I don't get this. Is Blernsball exactly the same as baseball? Farnsworth: Baseball? God forbid. Leela: Face it, Fry, baseball was as boring as mom and apple pie. .

Futurama Quotes about god
#39647 Futurama

Robot Mayor: Welcome to a very special human hunt! We have with us today a guest whose irrational hatred for humans makes me look like a human sympathizer! [The robots in the crowd laugh] Robot Mayor: A newly-arrived refugee from Earth, let's hear it for... Bender! Fry: It's him! He's OK! Bender: Death to humans! [The robots in the crowd cheer] Fry: Aww... It's good to hear his voice. .

Futurama Quotes about art
#39648 Futurama

Fry: We're rescuing ya. : I don't want to be rescued. Fry: Say what? Bender: I love this planet! I've got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring. .

Futurama Quotes about love
#39649 Futurama

Bender: Now Wireless Joe Jackson - there was a blern-hitting machine. Leela: Exactly! He was a machine designed to hit blerns. Wireless Joe Jackson was nothing but a programmable bat on wheels. Bender: Oh, and I suppose Pitch-o-Mat 5000 was just a modified howitzer! Leela: Yep. .

Futurama Quotes about wit

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