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Futurama

Prof. Farnsworth: Thank God there's plenty of escape pods. We won't have to dress up like women and children. [The camera pulls back to reveal Farnsworth dressed in a kid's sailor outfit and holding a lollipop]
— Futurama women
Leela: Oh, God, not Zapp Brannigan. Dr. Zoidberg: You know Zapp Brannigan? Leela: Let's just say we've crossed paths. Bender: Was that before or after you slept with him?
— Futurama path
Zapp Brannigan: Don't blame yourself, Kif. We were doomed from the start. I guess all that remains now is for the captain to go down with the ship. Kif: That's surprisingly noble of you, sir. Zapp Brannigan: No, it's noble of you, Kif. As of now, you're in command. Congratulations, Captain.
— Futurama art
Fry: You're not jealous, are you? Leela: No! Fry: Good, 'cause I consider my fake relationship with you a lot more meaningful.
— Futurama relationship
Fry: Oh. Look, I'm not actually interested in , if that's what's bothering you. Leela: Oh, are you sure? I mean, she has two eyes, you have two eyes...? Fry: I know. We seem like a perfect match. But, I just don't feel that way about her.
— Futurama you
Leela: Well, accommodations aren't great, but it sure is beautiful out here Fry: Yeah, it's pretty romantic- I mean, platonic, that sure is one platonic view. Leela: Fry, just be quiet, I'm starting to think this whole fake fiance thing was a terrible, terrible [gasps] [Leela surprises Fry with a big kiss in front of Zapp. After Zapp leaves, Leela breaks the kiss] Leela: Uh, look... Before you get any crazy ideas, that was for Zapp. Fry: Well, you got anything else for him?
— Futurama art
Kif: This is a pleasure cruise. Our path is decided by the travel agency. Zapp Brannigan: That's for schoolgirls. Now here's a course with some chest hair. [Draws a meandering line on the chart] Kif: But that leads us straight through a swarm of comets. Zapp Brannigan: Ah, yes. Comets, the icebergs of the sky.
— Futurama war
: Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn't I break his legs?
— Futurama fear
Leela: What you did to Guenter was cruel. At the risk of sounding like an after-school special, I think we learned who the real animal was today. Fry: You mean peer pressure?
— Futurama school
Fry: This is awesome! I had no idea that Mars had a university Professor Farnsworth: Well, back in those days, Mars was a dreary, uninhabitable wasteland. Much like Utah.
— Futurama day
[While searching the jungle for Guenter] Fry: Wow, the jungles on Mars look exactly like the jungles on Earth! Professor Farnsworth: Jungles on Earth? [Laughs]
— Futurama art
: All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit... that's why I'm transferring to business school! Professor Farnsworth: NOOOOOO!
— Futurama intelligence
Dean Vernon: You robots are a disgrace to this university! Whenever a fire alarm is pulled, Robot House! Whenever the campus liquor store is looted, Robot House! Whenever a human corpse is desecrated... Bender: Now I can explain that!
— Futurama grace
Dean Vernon: [repeated line] Robot House!!
— Futurama
Leela: So you're saying that he just ran off in the middle of the exam? Prof. Farnsworth: All he handed in was a paper smeared with feces. He tied with Fry.
— Futurama you
Leela: You went to college? Bender: Of course. I'm a bender. I went to Bending College; I majored in Bending. Fry: What was your minor? Bender: Robo-American Studies.
— Futurama you
Prof. Farnsworth: It's a little experiment that might win me the Nobel Prize. Leela: In what field? Prof. Farnsworth: I don't care; they all pay the same.
— Futurama men
Fry: Hey, professor. What are you teaching this semester? Prof. Farnsworth: Same thing I teach every semester: The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields. I made up the title so that no student would dare take it. Fry:[writing] Mathematics of wonton burrito meals. I'll be there! Prof. Farnsworth: Please, Fry. I don't know how to teach. I'm a professor.
— Futurama writing
: The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep. : You mean while I'm sleeping in it? Zapp Brannigan: You won't have time for sleeping, soldier, not with all the bed making you'll be doing.
— Futurama time
Beach Bully: Huh, err, sir, you don't understand. I'm a professional beach bully. I pretend to steal your girl, you punch me, I go down, she swoons, you slip me 50 bucks. Fry: 50 bucks? Not even if she was my girlfriend. You take her!
— Futurama you
Zapp Brannigan: The alien mother-ship is in orbit here. If we can hit that bulls-eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.
— Futurama mother
Zapp Brannigan: [having just seen another massive spaceship appear] What the hell is that thing?! Kif Kroker: It appears to be the mother ship. Zapp Brannigan: Then what did we just blow up? [Kif checks the star chart] Kif Kroker: The .
— Futurama art
[The real alien mothership appears and it starts easily destroying the ships] Zapp Brannigan: Stop exploding, you cowards!
— Futurama war
Zapp Brannigan: When I'm in command, every mission is a suicide mission.
— Futurama man
Hermes: What in the name of Bob Marley's ghost? Get to work, you lazy boat bag! [He rolls up the paper and hits Bender with it. Fry chuckles. Hermes hits him.] Fry: Hey, quit it, Hermes. It's Labor Day. Hermes: Labor Day? That phoney-baloney holiday crammed down our throats by fat-cat union gangsters? Fry: That's the one. Hermes: Hot damn, a day off!
— Futurama work
Zapp Brannigan: Our mission is clear: Destroy all alien lifeforms. Kif Kroker: Um...not me, sir. Zapp Brannigan: Right. Nobody destroy Kif. Unless you have too.
— Futurama life
Fry: OK, Leela, you'll be starring as Jenny-- Leela: Uh-uh, forget it. A, I'm camera shy; and B, I get tongue tied in front of an audience armed with death rays. Amy: Plus, you don't really have the thighs for a miniskirt. Leela: Gimme the script
— Futurama death
Lrrr: Surely you know McNeal. She is an unmarried human female struggling to succeed in a human male's world. Zapp Brannigan: Maybe that's just her excuse for being incompetent.
— Futurama world
Amy: There. How do I look? Farnsworth: Like a cheap French harlot. Amy: French?
— Futurama
Bender: They must just wanna see that episode. Let's find a tape and give it to 'em. Amy: There aren't any copies left. Farnsworth: No, there wouldn't be. Most videotapes from that era were damaged in 2443 during the Second Coming of Jesus.
— Futurama age
Lrrr: Attention McNeil. We are reasonably satisfied with the events we have seen. Overall I would rate it a C+. Okay, not great. As a result we will not destroy your planet. But neither will we provide you with our recipe for immortality! Fry: Way to overact, Zoidberg!
— Futurama reason
[Bender feels sick] Amy Wong: You should try homeopathic medicine, Bender. Try some zinc. Bender: I'm 40% zinc! Amy Wong: Then take some echinacea, or St. John's Wort. Professor Farnsworth: Or a big fat placebo. It's all the same crap!
— Futurama home
[Bender sees the insides of a transsexual female robot] Bender:[gasps] That's no lady! Trans-bot: Damn, Chico. One more upgrade and I'll be more lady than you can handle. Why do have to be so stupid, Stupid? Bender: Hey bite my shiny metal ass! Trans-bot: You couldn't afford it, honey. [snaps fingers and walks away]
— Futurama sex
Slurm Queen: As for you, you will be submerged in Royal Slurm which, in a matter of minutes, will transform you into a Slurm Queen like myself! Small Glurmo #1: But, Your Highness, she's a commoner. Her Slurm will taste foul. Slurm Queen: Yes! Which is why we'll market it as New Slurm. Then, when everyone hates it, we'll bring back Slurm Classic, and make billions!
— Futurama self
Bender: What should we try it on first? Fry: Try it on me [Bender points the F-Ray at Fry's body] ow, my sperm! Bender: I'll try it again [He does so] Fry: Huh. Didn't hurt that time
— Futurama time
Fry: All this prolonged exposure to radiation is making me thirsty
— Futurama
Professor Farnsworth: Who are those horrible orange creatures over there? Glurmo: Why those are the Grunka-Lunkas. They work here in the Slurm factory. Professor Farnsworth: Tell them I hate them.
— Futurama work
Glurmo: There will be no further questions! Fry: [Raises his hand] Why?
— Futurama will
Glurmo: You'll have all the Slurm you can drink when you're partying with Slurms McKenzie! : When will that be? Glurmo: Soon enough. Fry: That's not soon enough!
— Futurama art
Grunka-Lunka song: Grunka-Lunkas: Grunka-Lunka dunkety doo We've got a friendly warning for you Grunka-Lunka dunkety dasis The secret of Slurm's on a need-to-know basis Asking questions in school is a great way to learn If you try that stuff here you might get your legs broke We once found a dead guy face down in the Slurm It could easily happen again to you, folks So keep your head down and keep your mouth shut Grunka Lunka Lunka dunkety dutt!
— Futurama war
Grunka-Lunkas: [singing] Grunka-Lunka dunkety dingredient You should not ask about the secret ingredient! Bender: Okay, okay, we get the point. Leela: I was just curious because of the armed guards. Grunka-Lunkas: Grunka-Lunka dunkety darmed-guards-- Bender: SHUT THE HELL UP!
— Futurama sin

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