Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000

[as Freb and Mirror Man watch Sway feeding Toby]The Sphinx: If his unpleasant wounding has in some way enlightened the rest of you as to the grim finish beneath the glossy veneer of criminal life and inspired you to change your ways, then his injuries carry with it an inherent nobility, and a supreme glory. We should all be so fortunate. You say poor Toby? I say poor us.[everyone stares in awe at Sphinx]Tumbler: He spoke.Atley Jackson: Yeah...Memphis: Hey man, I thought you were from Long Beach.[Sphinx, drinking a beer, just shrugs. Laughter]

Freb: Hey, man, that was as easy as pie!Donny: Im a veteran, son.[a carjacker jams a gun through the window]Punk: [shouting] Get outta the car, bitch, or Im gonna blow your brains out!Donny: You gotta be shittin me...Punk: Do I have shoot you, dammn it?[Donny takes his gun and knocks him out]Freb: Damn!Donny: [gets out of the car and kicks the punk] You lazy, half-ass bully! Any asshole can pull a gun on somebody! You dont know the first thing about stealing a car! Boy! You need a role model!

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 man

Donny: Hello, and welcome to TV Car Trivia! First question, who was the driver of a 73 Firebird? Uh, Otto?Otto Halliwell: Uh, Jim Rockford, Rockford Files.Sara Sway Wayland: Gimme Columbo.Kip: A Peugeot convertible.Donny: What color?Kip: Gray.Mirror Man: How do you know that?Kip: Cause I love that show.Mirror Man: Man, I got three words for all of yall: Get a life!Freb: Whats on Magnum P.I.s license plate?Tumbler: ROBIN-1Kip: Wait, wasnt Robin that faggoty guy that always hung with him?Memphis: Naw, that was Higgins. That was Higgins.Otto Halliwell: Hey, hey, ten points for our fearless leader. Sway, how about giving us the Bill Bixby trifecta?Sara Sway Wayland: Drove a Corvette in The Magician, a Ford pickup truck in The Incredible Hulk, and in The Courtship of Eddies Father, he walked.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 love

Memphis: I just stole fifty cars in one night! Im a little tired, little *wired*, and I think I deserve a little appreciation!

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 night

Memphis: Without disappointment you cannot appreciate victory.Det. Roland Castlebeck: Did Eleanor tell you that?

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 men

Sway: What do you think is more exciting... having sex or stealing cars?Memphis: Having sex or boosting cars... Um, oo! Well, uh... How about having sex WHILE boosting cars?Sway: Oh, thats a good line. Doesnt work on a lot of girls, though.Memphis: I just blurted it out, Im sorry... But, you havent answered the question.Sway: Well, you see, the problem is... how do you get over the shifter?Memphis: Oh, oh right... because the uh...Sway: Cos it gets in the way.Memphis: Because you wouldnt want to disrupt the syncro-mesh... the throttle linkage... the clutch master cylinder... the overhead camshaft.Sway: I cant do this.Memphis: Straight inline 6, triple Weber carburetors, bolted to each others body structures...Sway: Well, its time to work...Memphis: Good brakes... good brakes, too!

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 time

Memphis: [From The Directors Cut] The list.Donny: Ahhh, the list. Well, I guess we gotta start beatin the bushes trying to find out where they... whoa. 1967 Shelby GT 500?Memphis: I know. I know.Donny: You got Eleanor here?Memphis: Its weird, huh?Donny: Its... voodoo.Memphis: Oh, nonono, no, dont, dont say that.Donny: [sings] I put a spell on you.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 art

[when Calitri turns on the car crusher, Memphis points a gun at him]Memphis: Shut it off!Raymond Calitri: You got 30 seconds to consider your options.Memphis: [screaming] SHUT IT OFF!Raymond Calitri: One, you kill me, they kill you, your brother dies anyway.Raymond Calitri: Two, you lie, you accept the job, you run, I hunt you down, I kill you, I kill your brother, and I kill your mother for the aggravation you cause me. Three, you accept the job, you steal some cars, you make some money, and you be a big brother.[Memphis surrenders; One of Calitris goon turns off the crusher]Raymond Calitri: 8 a.m. Friday Morning. The cars are on the boat, or your brothers in the coffin.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 money

Kip: Hey, what time is it?Atley Jackson: Seven-thirty. I think Im gonna have to - get you outta town or something. Your brothers the best boost in the world but I dont how if hes gonna make this one.Kip: Uh, Im not like my brother. You know, I dont just abandon my friends.Atley Jackson: Oh, man, I oughtta smack you silly, boy. You think youre brother ran away, you better get your story straight.Kip: Well, go on then. Straighten it out.Atley Jackson: Your mother told him to go. She knew that if Memphis stayed, you were gonna walk his line. You were gonna join his crew. But she told him to pick up and go. And he did, thinking it was best for you. He left all of us, for you. I guess it wasnt that big a deal for him though, really. Wasnt that big a sacrifice leaving everything hed ever known behind. Than six years later, aint life grand? You became a car boost anyway. How bout that?

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 life

Police chopper pilot: [after Memphis got away from the helicopter driving Eleanor] Hes gone.Det. Roland Castlebeck: GOD!Drycoff: Man this guy can drive!Det. Roland Castlebeck: What? WHAT?Drycoff: Its probably mostly the car...

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 god

Tumbler: Yo, so check out my new move. I call it the Stranger. What I do is, I sit on my hand for, like, 15, 20 minutes, until it goes numb. No feeling at all. And then I rub one out.Toby: The Stranger, huh?Atley Jackson: Its like a little boys nursery school Ive come upon here.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 anger

Freb: The corner of Wiltern and Wetherley... Tumbler messed up, he said the Porsche should be at the corner of Wiltern and Wetherly.Kip: There it is.Mirror Man: Youre bullshitting me, right? 9024 Wiltern?Kip: I gotta get my tool.Mirror Man: Kip! He aint bullshitting, man![Kip opens the boot, retrieves half a brick]Mirror Man: Kip thats not a tool... thats a damn brick! Kip, man we gonna use a brick, we may as well call prison and make reservations!

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 man

Memphis: I am a baaaad man.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 man

Mirror Man: [to Sphinx] Damn its cold up here, they keep these Ferraris refrigerated? And you know black people dont like cold weather, were tropical people. Man, when this is over Im gonna smoke a joint, watch two hours of Roots and Im gonna KICK YOUR ASS!

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 people

Sway: Ive got two jobs. Ive discovered that you have to work twice as hard when its honest.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 work

Freb: You ever feel bad about any of this?Donny: Hell, no. Im Robin Hood, man. I rob from the rich and give to the needy.Freb: You mean the poor.Donny: No, like I said, the needy. Cause brother, we need this car.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 man

Raymond Calitri: [over the phone] Times up Atley. Ive got 49 cars. Thats one less than required. Bring the kid and well settle this.Atley Jackson: Which kid is that?Raymond Calitri: Oh, The Cincinatti Kid, Billy the Kid. Which kid do you think I meant?Atley Jackson: Oh gee, I think you mean Kip Raines.Raymond Calitri: Well, gee, I think youre right.Atley Jackson: You know what? The funny thing happened: That little son of a bitch evaded me.Raymond Calitri: Find him, Atley.Atley Jackson: What if I cant find him?Raymond Calitri: Then big brother takes the fall for the slipup. It dont matter much to me. One Raines is as good as another: It never rains but it pours.[hangs up]Atley Jackson: Son of a - ! Ju - Well, I guess you can thank your big brother. I think he just took your place under the guillotine.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 funny

[last lines]Memphis: [Engine dies] Oh, dont do this to me.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 die

[Freb brings a Cadillac into Ottos place]Freb: I can deliver more than pizzas, huh? Boosted her myself.Donny: How did you get this car?Freb: Actually, the keys were in it.Donny: Well, that kinda defies the point.Memphis: You stole a car that wasnt on the list. Why dont you just go to the police station in a red clown suit and let everybody know what were doing here?

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 self

Drycoff: Are you alright?Bashed Cop: I think so...Drycoff: Are you sure? Cause, you just went through a wall.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 you

[approaching an alarm panel]Mirror Man: Now, to get this open we just...[Sphinx flicks his knife, and pries the panel open]Mirror Man: Im telling you, Im running this shit! You do that again, and I will kick...![Sphinx turns and glares at him, still holding his knife]Mirror Man: ...Cool, man. You dont have to take everything so damn personal.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 man

Police chopper pilot: Air One. were over the pursuit.[Memphis hits the nitrous button]Police chopper pilot: Suspect has increased speed to 120.Drycoff: Maintain visual, Air One.Police chopper pilot: 140 miles an hour.Drycoff: *Do not* lose him.Police chopper pilot: This is an A-Star, sir, not an Apache.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000

Donny: See ya tomorrow night, Eleanor, with your fine ass.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 ya

Memphis: Control, vision, determination. These are the three fundamental components of the new generation race car driver. Speed is a byproduct. Going fast. But remember: The car is you, you are the car. Okay? Lets ride!

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 men

Donny: Hey, did you see a box of rubber gloves around here?Mirror Man: Gloves? Man, you dont need gloves! This is the new age! Check it out.Donny: What is this?Mirror Man: Just let me see that big claw you call a hand.[He spreads adhesive onto Donnys fingertip]Mirror Man: That aint donut jelly, so dont eat it.[He applies the false fingerprint]Mirror Man: Your new fingerprints. Elvis is back.Donny: Damn...Mirror Man: Boy got skills, right?Donny: Yeah, you do.[They bump fists]Donny: Youre like a little ghetto Smurf.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 love

Raymond Calitri: I try to learn your ways, understand your obsessions. But this baseball, its so bleedin boring, isnt it?

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 you

Raymond Calitri: They threw us out of England, they threw us out of France, so here we are. Flourishing, really, except for the minor inconvenience of despising everything about your country.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 sin

Sara Sway Wayland: [after boosting Car #37: the 1971 Plymouth Hemi Barricuda - Shannon] It had to be a girl car.Memphis: Girl car? What kind of girl drives a Hemi Cuda?Sara Sway Wayland: Ill show you.[Sway puts on red lipstick]Memphis: Lipstick?Sara Sway Wayland: Matches the car.[Sway Chuckling]Memphis: Whats next? Blush? Mascara?Sara Sway Wayland: Next time Ill pull out the, uh... leather, high heels and pink underwear for you.Memphis: Leather, High Heels and...[with Sway]Sara Sway Wayland, Memphis: Pink Underwear.[Sway laughing]Memphis: Pink underwear works. Pink underwear works.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 time

[on their way to steal cars from the police impound]Mirror Man: Hey, Sphinx, I dont look suspicious, do I, man?

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 man

Memphis: The ladies are dirty. Walk away. The ladies are dirty.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 die

[giving driving lessons]Donny: Dont look at me, look at the people next to you! Nex... Look at the... - well, turn the wheel! Pull over, pull her the hell over!Driver 1: Asshole!Driver 2: Learn how to drive!Donny: [shuts car off] Dont touch nothing! You cant negotiate turns. You cant signal properly. You cant maintain speed. You cant parallel park. Hell, you cant drive, honey. Shit, I cant swim, I know I cant. So you know what I do? I stay my black ass out the pool!

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 people

Memphis: [Gesturing to Sway] Still looking amazing.Sway: While *you*... still look like a bible salesman.Memphis: [Reaching out and touching her forehead] Youre healed.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 man

Otto Halliwell: How Many Days?Memphis: ThreeOtto Halliwell: How many in your crew?Memphis: One, but, Im here to negotiate for a second.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 man

[the crew enters the Ferrari garage]Sway: Hello, ladies. I always was a sucker for a redhead.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 age

Drycoff: Whos Eleanor?Det. Roland Castlebeck: Its a damn car. And dont ever talk about my wife.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 wife

Kip: Why are people shooting at us?Memphis: Cause I blew up their car!

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 people

[Johnny B.s gang is chasing Memphis and Kip, but they stop when they go into a diner with a police car outside]Memphis: Look![pointing]Memphis: Cop car! Uh-huh! Long as Im in there, youre just gonna sit out there, arent you, aiight?

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 sin

Memphis: [Memphis breaks one of the side mirrors off of Eleanor] Its ok, Eleanor. It can be fixed.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000

[after Calitri falls to his death, Memphis and Castlebeck both look at Castlebecks dropped gun. Slowly, Castlebeck bends over and picks it up]Det. Roland Castlebeck: Here I am smack dab in the middle of a moral dilemma, Randall. Youve ripped this city to shreds with that little escapade of yours, you and your Eleanor. But I understand what brought you back here. A brothers love is... a brothers love.[pause]Det. Roland Castlebeck: You just saved my life, didnt you? So what are we going to do now?Memphis: Its your call, Detective.Det. Roland Castlebeck: [chuckles] Get out of here, Randall. Ill clean this up. Go, now, before I change my mind. Go.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 love

Ignacio: Thats nasty. What kind of a sicko gets their jollies from playin with dog shit man?

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 lies

Otto Halliwell: Were gonna have to go old school on this. A day to shop, a day to prep.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 school

Drycoff: All gone, we didnt get a single one of them, and we are talking about professionals. No visible damage to locking mechanisms, steering columns, or ignitions, and as you can see, these are not Honda Civics. This is one of three brand-new Mercedes, a car they say is unstealable.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 sin

Johnnie B.: [Memphis toasting to Johnnie B. and the gang] Im gonna smoke you!

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 you

Mirror Man: [Mirror Man just applied fake fingerprints to Donnys hand] Ya boy got skills, right?Donny: Yeah you do. You look like a little ghetto smurf.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 man

Memphis: For the next 24 hours, all your decision-making privileges have been removed. You got it?Mirror Man: Its cool, man.Memphis: Obviously, theyre on to us. Hes sniffing real close. If anything tonight appears out of place, I want you to cut bait, get out of there, and walk away. And get rid of this goddamn car!

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 god

[distracting the guard at the impound with a Barbie]Mirror Man: Hey, lookie here, shes a brick... , duh-duh-duh, house.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 man

[looking at the Humvee]Mirror Man: Hey Sphinx, check it out. Homeboy got SNAKE on the license plate. Well, Snake gon have to slither his ass all the way to the bus stop in the morning... I got some low-riding music for you. Its better than that cracker shit you listen to.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 music

Drycoff: Whats up?Det. Roland Castlebeck: Whats the story with that HumVee?Drycoff: Gone.Det. Roland Castlebeck: Cadillac?Drycoff: Same. Where we goin?Det. Roland Castlebeck: The only 67 Shelby in the area is registered at a place called the International Towers in Long Beach.Drycoff: Lets go to Long Beach.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 story

Memphis: Id like to get a... chocolate malt.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000

Det. Roland Castlebeck: The easy way or the hard way, Raines. Easy way or the hard way.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 rain

Toby: [to Otto] I think that your dog ate the keysOtto Halliwell: Wait, he usually goes for the license plate... are you sure?[Toby shows the ripped up envelope]Tumbler: Wait a minute... Wait a minute... the dog ate the keysToby: YESTumbler: [laughs] How... How are you gonna get them outDonny: [to Tumbler] Not funnyTumbler: [to Sphinx] Oh... excuse me[Sphinx intervene and flicks open his knife]Otto Halliwell, Toby: [stops Sphinx] Whoa... dont even think about SphinxMemphis: [to Sphinx] Its all right

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 funny

Drycoff: That sign said, DO NOT ENTER.Det. Roland Castlebeck: Ya, you noticed, huh.[nearly sideswipe a oncoming vehicle]Drycoff: Gee.Det. Roland Castlebeck: Keep your pants on.

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 ya

Raymond Calitri: [aiming a gun] Who are you?Det. Roland Castlebeck: Im a police officer. You dont want to do that now.Raymond Calitri: Yeah, I do.Det. Roland Castlebeck: Listen to me. You walk out of here with me, youve got some options. You kill me - now you think about this, Im a police officer - your life will be over.Raymond Calitri: No, youve got that the wrong way around. If I kill you, *your* lifes over. Not all bad, though. Your funeral will be on the telly. Everybody out there, pressed and dressed. Guard of honor, twenty-one gun salute, and the stars and stripes draped all over your coffin.[tightens his finger on the trigger]Raymond Calitri: Itll be the greatest day of your life...[Memphis appears and kicks Calitri over the rail]

— Gone in Sixty Seconds 2000 life

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