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Henry Louis Mencken

Life without sex might be safer but it would be unbearably dull. It is the sex instinct which makes women seem beautiful, which they are once in a blue moon, and men seem wise and brave, which they never are at all. Throttle it, denaturalize it, take it away, and human existence would be reduced to the prosiac, laborious, boresome, imbecile level of life in an anthill.
— Henry Louis Mencken life
Life is a dead-end street.
— Henry Louis Mencken life
The only cure for contempt is countercontempt.
— Henry Louis Mencken
A formula for answering controversial letters -- without even reading the letters Dear Sir (or Madame) You may be right.
— Henry Louis Mencken reading
Love is the triump of imagination over intelligence.
— Henry Louis Mencken love
Love is the mistaken belief that one woman differs from another.
— Henry Louis Mencken love
Everyman is thoroughly happy twice in his life, just after he has met his first love, and just after he has left his last one.
— Henry Louis Mencken love
A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them.
— Henry Louis Mencken love
We must respect the other fellows religion,but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
— Henry Louis Mencken religion
Suicide is belated acquiescence in the opinion of ones wifes relatives.
— Henry Louis Mencken suicide
Most people are unable to write because they are unable to think, and they are unable to think because they congenitally lack the equipment to do so, just as they congenitally lack the equipment to fly over the moon.
— Henry Louis Mencken people
To wage a war for a purely moral reason is as absurd as to ravish a woman for a purely moral reason
— Henry Louis Mencken war
Voting is simply a way of determining which side is the stronger without putting it to the test of fighting
— Henry Louis Mencken fight
Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed, and are right
— Henry Louis Mencken art
It seems to me that a great university ought to have room in it for men subscribing to every sort of idea that is currently prevalent
— Henry Louis Mencken men
The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of Gods children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.
— Henry Louis Mencken god
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
— Henry Louis Mencken win
And out of each (schoolhouse) is vomited the standard product of the New Pedagogy - an endless procession of adolescents who have been taught everything save that which is true, and outfitted with every trick save those that are socially useful
— Henry Louis Mencken school
For every problem there is a solution which is simple, clean and wrong.
— Henry Louis Mencken wrong
A society made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought would probably be unendurable.
— Henry Louis Mencken society
Socialism: nothing more than the theory that the slave is always more virtuous than his master
— Henry Louis Mencken socialism
A sense of humor always withers in the presence of the messianic delusion, like justice and truth in front of patriotic passion
— Henry Louis Mencken humor
Science, at bottom, is really anti-intellectual. It always distrusts pure reason, and demands the production of objective fact.
— Henry Louis Mencken science
Sunday School: A prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents
— Henry Louis Mencken science
In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
— Henry Louis Mencken world
Remorse is regret that one waited so long to do it
— Henry Louis Mencken regret
A national political campaign is better than the best circus ever heard of, with a mass baptism and a couple of hangings thrown in.
— Henry Louis Mencken political
The practical politician, as every connoisseur of ochlocracy knows, is not a man who seeks to inoculate the innumerable caravan of voters with new ideas; he is a man who seeks to search out and prick into energy the basic ideas that are already in th
— Henry Louis Mencken man
Save among politicians it is no longer necessary for any educated American to profess belief in Thirteenth Century ideas
— Henry Louis Mencken belief
A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground.
— Henry Louis Mencken
A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar
— Henry Louis Mencken good
Progress is the process whereby the human race is getting rid of whiskers, the veriform appendix and God
— Henry Louis Mencken god
Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
— Henry Louis Mencken criticism
The way for newspapers to meet the competition of radio and television is simply to get out better papers
— Henry Louis Mencken vision
What restrains us from killing is partly fear of punishment, partly moral scruple, and partly what may be described as a sense of humor
— Henry Louis Mencken humor
Men are sad because they have to die so soon, women are sad because they were born so long ago.
— Henry Louis Mencken women
The military caste did not originate as a party of patriots, but as a party of bandits
— Henry Louis Mencken art
A great literature is chiefly the product of inquiring minds in revolt against the immovable certainties of the nation
— Henry Louis Mencken literature
The Liberals have many tails, and chase them all
— Henry Louis Mencken man
Jury: A group of 12 people, who, having lied to the judge about their health, hearing, and business engagements, have failed to fool him
— Henry Louis Mencken people
The way to hold a husband is to keep him a little jealous; the way to lose him is to keep him a little more jealous.
— Henry Louis Mencken
Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice
— Henry Louis Mencken justice
Immortality is the condition of a dead man who doesnt believe he is dead
— Henry Louis Mencken man
An individual who forces himself to accept this or that idea, or who pretends to accept this or that idea, not only on the ground that believing in it is an act of virtue, but also on the ground that doing so is prudent, is both a fool and a knave
— Henry Louis Mencken self
The kind of man who wants government to adopt and enforce his ideas is always the kind of man whose ideas are idiotic
— Henry Louis Mencken men
Idealist: One who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup
— Henry Louis Mencken age
Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient
— Henry Louis Mencken good

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