Ricky Ricardo: Fred, how often is Ethels checking account overdrawn?Fred Mertz: Never.Ricky Ricardo: Never? How do you manage that?Ethel Mertz: Its easy. I never had enough money at one time to open a checking account.Fred Mertz: She spends money like Im printing it in the basement! .
Lucy Ricardo: How much do you want to bet?Fred Mertz: Ten dollars.Ethel Mertz: Well whats the matter with twenty dollars?Ricky Ricardo: Whats the matter with thirty dollars?Lucy Ricardo: Whats the matter with fifty dollars?Fred Mertz: What was the matter with ten dollars? .
Lucy Ricardo: This whole thing is Rickys fault.Ricky Ricardo: MY FAULT?Lucy Ricardo: Yeah, if you hadnt have left Cuba to come to America, we wouldnt have gotten married and we never wouldve come to Switzerland in the first place. .
Ricky Ricardo: Did Ricky give you a tough day?Lucy Ricardo: No, just the same as any other day: after breakfast, I put on his snow suit. I pull on his galoshes. I slip on his mittens. I walk him to the park. He chases the pigeons. I chase after him. He runs after the squirrels. I run after him. He gets on the swing. I push the swing. We go on the teeter-totter. He teeters, I totter. Then we leave the park and we walk home. I pull off his galoshes. I pull off his mittens. I pull off his snow suit. I tell him to go into his room and play with his teddy bear. And that is why you find me sitting here with my coat and my boots on.Ricky Ricardo: Whew! Im worn out from just listening. .
Lucy Ricardo: [Lucy gets caught spying on the neighbors] I was, uh... bird-watching!Ricky Ricardo: Bird-watching?Lucy Ricardo: Uh, yeah! Do you know that theres a yellow-bellied woodpecker on our lawn?Ricky Ricardo: No, but I know that theres a red-headed cuckoo in the living room. .
Ethel Mertz: Theres lots of things youre good at.Lucy Ricardo: Like what?Ethel Mertz: Well, youre awfully good at... uh... Youve always been great at...Lucy Ricardo: Those are the same ones Ricky came up with. .
Lucy Ricardo: Did I get any suntan?Ricky Ricardo: No.Lucy Ricardo: Oh, darn it.Ricky Ricardo: [with his thick accent] Honey, why dont you forget about getting a suntan. You always get burned with your fair skin.Lucy Ricardo: My fur skin? .
Ethel Mertz: [does not believe that Lucy got her black eye when Ricky accidentally tossed her a book with poor aim, and suspects abuse instead] This is Ethel, your friend, to whom you may turn in time of crisis.Lucy Ricardo: Ethel, have you been drinking? .
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