Kurt Vonnegut (Writer)

I was taught that the was the crowningofso far, but I think it’s a very poor scheme for .

I sometimes wondered what the use of any of thewas. The best thing I could come up with was what I call the of the arts. This theory says that artists are useful tobecause they are so sensitive. They are super-sensitive. They keel over like canaries in poison coal mines long before more robust types realize that there is anywhatsoever.

— Kurt Vonnegut time

High school is closer to the core of theexperience than anything else I can think of.

— Kurt Vonnegut experience

I was taught in the sixth grade that we had a standing army of just over a hundred thousand men and that the generals had nothing to say about what was done in Washington. I was taught to be proud of that and to pity Europe for having more than a million men under arms and spending all theiron airplanes and tanks. I simply never unlearned junior civics. I stillin it. I got a very good grade.

— Kurt Vonnegut men

Well, I've worried some about, you know, why write... why are we teaching people to write books when presidents and senators do notthem, and generals do not read them. And it's been the university experience that taught me that there is a veryreason, that you catch people before they become generals and presidents and so forth and youtheirwith ... , and however you want to poison their minds, it's presumably to encourage them to make a better .

— Kurt Vonnegut books

Find a subject you care about.

— Kurt Vonnegut you

1. Find a subject you care about. 2. Do not ramble, though. 3. Keep it . 4. Have the guts to cut. 5. Sound like yourself. 6. Say what youto say. 7.the readers.

— Kurt Vonnegut self

The telling ofis anof its own, and it always rises from somethreat. The best jokes are , and dangerous because they are in some way .

— Kurt Vonnegut anger

You learn aboutby the accidents you have, over and over again, and your father is always in your head when that stuff happens. Writing, most of the time, for most people, is an accident and your father is there for that, too. You know, I taughtfor a while and whenever somebody would tell me they were going to write about their dad, I would tell them they might as well go write about killing puppies because neither story was going to work. It just doesn't work. Your father won't let it happen.

— Kurt Vonnegut time

One of the great American tragedies is to have participated in a just . It's been possible for politicians and movie-makers to encourage us we're alwaysguys. The Second World War absolutely had to be fought. I wouldn't have missed it for the world. But we never talk about thewe kill. This is never spoken of.

— Kurt Vonnegut art

I urge you to please notice when you are , and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, "If this isn't nice, I don't know what is."

— Kurt Vonnegut you

We're terrible . I think that the 's immune system is trying to get rid of us, as well it should.

— Kurt Vonnegut think

I do feel thatis being controlled by some sort of divine engineer. ... That’s why we’ve got giraffes and hippopotami and the clap.

— Kurt Vonnegut control

I have wanted to give Iraq a lesson in— because we’re experienced with it, you know. And, in democracy, after a hundred years, you have to let yourgo. And, after a hundred and fifty years, you have to let yourvote. And, at theof democracy, is that quite a bit of genocide and ethnic cleansing is quite okay. And that’s what’s going on now.

— Kurt Vonnegut experience

I do feel thatis being controlled by some sort of divine engineer. I can't help thinking that. And this engineer knows exactly what he or she is doing and why, and where evolution is headed. That’s why we’ve got giraffes and hippopotami and the clap.

— Kurt Vonnegut thinking

[When Vonnegut tells his wife he's going out to buy an envelope] Oh, she says, well, you're not a poor man. You know, why don't you go online and buy a hundred envelopes and put them in the closet? And so I pretend not to hear her. And go out to get an envelope because I'm going to have a hell of a in the process of buying one envelope. I meet a lot of . And, see some great looking babes. And a fire engine goes by. And I give them the thumbs up. And, and ask awhat kind ofthat is. And, and I don't know. The moral of the story is, is we're here onto fart around. And, of course, thewill do us out of that. And, what the computer people don't realize, or they don't care, is we're dancing . You know, weto move around. And, we're not supposed toat all anymore.

— Kurt Vonnegut art

THE ONLYHEFOR THE EXISTENCE OFWAS

— Kurt Vonnegut existence

Where is ? I've wondered where home is, and I realized, it's not Mars or someplace like that, it's Indianapolis when I was nine years old. I had aand a , aand a , and aand aand uncles and aunts. And there's no way I can get there again.

— Kurt Vonnegut home

If I should ever ,forbid, let this be my epitaph: THE ONLYHEFOR THE EXISTENCE OFWAS

— Kurt Vonnegut existence

Well, I just want to say thatis the syphilis president.

— Kurt Vonnegut want

I don't think there would be many , if there weren't constant frustration and ...

— Kurt Vonnegut man

The only difference betweenandis that Hitler was elected.

— Kurt Vonnegut

I don't think there would be many , if there weren't constant frustration andand so forth. It's a response to bad troubles like .

— Kurt Vonnegut man

People hate it when they're tickled becauseis not pleasant, if it goes on too long. I think it's a desperate sort of convulsion in desperate circumstances, which helps a little.

— Kurt Vonnegut hate

“Myis that all women have hydrofluoric acid bottled up inside,” he wrote.

— Kurt Vonnegut women

I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.

— Kurt Vonnegut you

During the , in hundreds of Iliums over America,andlearned to get along without their men and women, who went to fight. It was thethat won the war — production with almost no manpower. In the patois of the north side of the river, it was the know-how that won the war.owed itsto know-how.

— Kurt Vonnegut war

"You think I'm insane?" said Finnerty. Apparently he wanted more of a reaction than Paul had given him. "You're still in touch. I guess that's the test." "Barely — barely." "A psychiatrist could help. There's a good man in Albany." Finnerty shook his head. "He'd pull me back into the center, and I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center." He nodded, "Big, undreamed-of things — theon the edge see them first."

— Kurt Vonnegut dream

If you can do a half-assedof anything, you're a one-eyed man in the kingdom of the .

— Kurt Vonnegut man

"Strange business," said Lasher. "This crusading spirit of theand engineers, the idea of designing and manufacturing and distributing being sort of a holy war: all that folklore was cooked up by public relations and advertising men hired by managers and engineers to make big business popular in the old days, which it certainly wasn't in the beginning. Now, the engineers and managers believe with all theirthe glorious things their forebears hired people to say about them. Yesterday's snow job becomes today's sermon."

— Kurt Vonnegut war

In order to get what we've got, Anita, we have, in effect, traded these people out of what was the most important thing on earth to them — the feeling of beingand useful, the foundation of -.

— Kurt Vonnegut art

Here it was again, the most ancient of roadforks, one that Paul had glimpsed before, in Kroner's study, months ago. The choice of one course or the other had nothing to do with machines, hierarchies, economics, love, age. It was a purely internal matter. Every child older than six knew the fork, and knew what the good guys did here, and what the bad guys did here. The fork was a familiar one in folk tales the world over, and the good guys and the bad guys, whether in chaps, breechclouts, serapes, leopardskins, or banker's gray pinstripes, all separated here.Bad guys turned informer. Good guys didn't — no matter when, no matter what.

— Kurt Vonnegut love

And a step backward, after making a wrong turn, is a step in the right direction.

— Kurt Vonnegut war

"Things don't stay the way they are," said Finnerty. "It's too entertaining to try to change them."

— Kurt Vonnegut change

Everybody's shaking in his boots, so don't be bluffed.

— Kurt Vonnegut body

Almost nobody's competent, Paul. It's enough to make you cry to see how bad most people are at their jobs. If you can do a half-assedof anything, you're a one-eyed man in the kingdom of the .

— Kurt Vonnegut people

Aof, no matter who is controlling it, is towhoever is around to be loved.

— Kurt Vonnegut love

Every passing hour brings the Solar System forty-three thousand miles closer to Globular Cluster M13 in Hercules — and still there are some misfits who insist that there is no such thing as .

— Kurt Vonnegut sin

He ransacked his memory like a thief going through another man's billfold.

— Kurt Vonnegut memory

The triumph of anything is a matter of . If there are such things as angels, I hope that they are organized along the lines of the Mafia.

— Kurt Vonnegut hope

A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.

— Kurt Vonnegut love

It is always pitiful when anybeing falls into a condition hardly more respectable than that of an . How much more pitiful it is when the person who falls has had all the advantages!

— Kurt Vonnegut respect

There is no reason whycannot triumph as often as . The triumph of anything is a matter of . If there are such things as , I hope that they are organized along the lines of the Mafia.

— Kurt Vonnegut hope

Sometimes I think it is a great mistake to have matter that can think and feel. It complains so. By the same token, though, I suppose that boulders and mountains and moons could be accused of being a little too phlegmatic.

— Kurt Vonnegut time

Son — they say there isn't any royalty in this country, but do you want me to tell you how to be king of the United States of America? Just fall through the hole in a privy and come out smelling like a rose.

— Kurt Vonnegut ya

Take Care of the , andAlmighty Will Take Care of Himself.

— Kurt Vonnegut self

The bigwith dumb bastards is that they are too dumb tothere is such a thing as being smart.

— Kurt Vonnegut art

I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all.

— Kurt Vonnegut

The worst thing that could possibly happen to anybody would be to not be used for anything by anybody. Thank you for using me, even though I didn't want to be used by anybody.

— Kurt Vonnegut sin

Puny man can do nothing at all to help or pleaseAlmighty, andnot theof God.

— Kurt Vonnegut man

You go up to a man, and you say, "How are things going, Joe?" and he says, "Oh fine, fine — couldn't be better." And you look into his eyes, and you see things really couldn't be much worse. When you get right down to it, everybody's having a perfectly lousy time of it, and I mean everybody. And the hell of it is, nothing seems to help much.

— Kurt Vonnegut time

for a punctual person is like a roller coaster. All kinds of things are going to happen to you! Sure, I can see the whole roller coaster you're on. And sure — I could give you a piece of paper that would tell you about every dip and turn, warn you about every bogeyman that was going to pop out at you in the tunnels. But that wouldn't help you any. Because you'd still have to take the roller-coaster ride, I didn't design the roller coaster, I don't own it, and I don't say who rides and who doesn't. I just know what it's shaped like.

— Kurt Vonnegut war

We are what weto be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.

— Kurt Vonnegut care

Say what you will about the sweetof unquestioning , I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile.

— Kurt Vonnegut sweet

I can't think in terms of boundaries. Those imaginary lines are as unreal to me as elves and pixies. I can'tthat they mark theor theof anything ofconcern to the human .and vices,andcross boundaries at will.

— Kurt Vonnegut man

If I'd been born in Germany, I suppose I would have been a , boppingand gypsies and Poles around, leaving boots sticking out of snowbanks, warming myself with my secretly virtuous insides. So it goes.

— Kurt Vonnegut war

When you'reyou're dead.

— Kurt Vonnegut you

Makewhen you can. It'sfor you.

— Kurt Vonnegut you

Here lies Howard Campbell’s essence, Freed from his body’s noisome nuisance. His body, empty, prowls the earth, Earning what a body’s worth. If his body and his essence remain apart, Burn his body, but spare this, his .

— Kurt Vonnegut war

"Allare ," he said. "They will do anything at any time, andhelp anybody who looks for ."

— Kurt Vonnegut time

There are plenty ofreasons for fighting," I said, "but no good reason ever towithout reservation, to imagine thatAlmighty Himself hates with you, too. Where's ? It's that large part of every man that wants to hate without limit, that wants to hate withon its side. It’s that part of every man that finds all kinds of ugliness so attractive.

— Kurt Vonnegut art

Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning , I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile.

— Kurt Vonnegut sweet

"You hate America, don't you?" she said. "That would be as silly as loving it," I said. "It's impossible for me to get emotional about it, because real estate doesn't interest me. It's no doubt a great flaw in my personality, but I can't think in terms of boundaries. Those imaginary lines are as unreal to me as elves and pixies. I can't believe that they mark the end or the beginning of anything of real concern to the human soul. Virtues and vices, pleasures and pains cross boundaries at will."

— Kurt Vonnegut pain

Drawn crudely in the dust of three window-panes were a swastika, a hammer and sickle, and the Stars and Stripes. I had drawn the threeweeks before, at the conclusion of an argument aboutwith Kraft. I had given a hearty cheer for each symbol, demonstrating to Kraft the meaning of patriotism to, respectively, a , a , and an . "Hooray, hooray, hooray," I'd said.

— Kurt Vonnegut art

What froze me was the fact that I had absolutely noto move in any direction. What had made me move through so many dead and pointless years was . Now even that flickered out.

— Kurt Vonnegut man

Generally speaking, espionage offers each spy an opportunity to go crazy in a way he finds irresistible.

— Kurt Vonnegut age

Full title: Cat's Cradle These are just a sample for more from this work see:

— Kurt Vonnegut work

A karass ignores national, institutional, occupational, familial, and class boundaries. It is as free form as an amoeba.

— Kurt Vonnegut free

in thisis true.

— Kurt Vonnegut true

Webelieve thatis organized into teams, teams that do 's Will without ever discovering what they are doing. Such a team is called a karass by Bokonon "If you find yourtangled up with somebody else's life for no very logical ," writes Bokonon, "that person may be a member of your karass." At another point in The Books of Bokonon he tells us, "Man created the checkerboard; God created the karass." By that he means that a karass ignores national, institutional, occupational, familial, and class boundaries. It is as free form as an amoeba.

— Kurt Vonnegut life

Busy, busy, busy.

— Kurt Vonnegut

Someday, someday, this crazywill have to end, And ourwill take things back that He to us did lend. And if, on that sad day, you want to scold our God, Why go right ahead and scold Him. He'll justand nod.

— Kurt Vonnegut sad

Peculiar Travel Suggestions areLessons From

— Kurt Vonnegut travel

Beware of the man who works hard tosomething, learns it, and finds himself nothan before.

— Kurt Vonnegut war

Full title: God Bless You, Mr Rosewater, or Pearls Before Swine

— Kurt Vonnegut water

You're the only ones zany enough to agonize overand distance without limit, overthat will never , over thethat we are right now determining whether thevoyage for the next billion years or so is going to beor .

— Kurt Vonnegut ya

Iyou sons of bitches. You’re all I read any more. You're the only ones who’ll talk all about the really terrificgoing on, the only ones crazy enough to know that life is a space voyage, and not a short one, either, but one that’ll last for billions of years. You’re the only ones with guts enough to really care about the , who really notice whatdo to us, whatdo to us, whatdo to us, what big, simple ideas do to us, what tremendous misunderstanding, , accidents, catastrophes do to us. You're the only ones zany enough to agonize overand distance without limit, overthat will never , over thethat we are right now determining whether thevoyage for the next billion years or so is going to beor .

— Kurt Vonnegut life

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers — joined in the serious business of keeping our , shelter, clothing and loved ones from combining with oxygen.

— Kurt Vonnegut love

Like all real , Charley had a fatal flaw. He refused tothat he had gonorrhea, whereas thewas that he did.

— Kurt Vonnegut law

He alienated his friends in theby thanking them extravagantly for scientific advances he had read about in the recent newspapers and magazines, by assuring them, with a perfectly straight face, thatwas getting better and better, thanks to scientific thinking.

— Kurt Vonnegut friends

A sum ofis a leading character in this tale about people, just as a sum of honey might properly be a leading character in a tale about bees.

— Kurt Vonnegut people

Hello, babies. Welcome to . It's hot in theand cold in the . It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies — "God damn it, you've got to be ."

— Kurt Vonnegut you

We don't piss in your ashtrays, So please don't throw cigarettes in our urinals.

— Kurt Vonnegut you

to bealways, and evenwill be fooled.

— Kurt Vonnegut will

a collection of previously published short stories

— Kurt Vonnegut stories

The publicauthorities never mention the main reason many Americans have for smoking heavily, which is that smoking is a fairly sure, fairly honorable form of .

— Kurt Vonnegut men

I never knew a 's wife who wasn't .

— Kurt Vonnegut wife

Full title: Slaughterhouse-Five, Or The Children's Crusade : A Duty-dance with Death These are just a few samples, for more from this work see

— Kurt Vonnegut work

So it goes.

— Kurt Vonnegut

All moments, ,and , always have existed, always will exist. The Tralfamadorians can look at all the different moments just that way we can look at a stretch of the Rocky Mountains, for instance. They can see how permanent all the moments are, and they can look at any moment that interests them.

— Kurt Vonnegut men

Billy coughed when the door was opened, and when he coughed he shit thin gruel. This was in accordance with the Third Law of Motion according to Sir . This law tells us that for each reaction there is a reaction which is equal and opposite in direction. This can be useful in rocketry.

— Kurt Vonnegut action

Derby described the incredible artificial weather that Earthlings sometimes create for other Earthlings when they don't want those other Earthlings to inhabitany more.

— Kurt Vonnegut time

, whose summer home is eight miles away from the home I live in all year round, was shot two nights ago. He died last . So it goes. was shot a month ago. He died, too. So it goes. And everyday my government gives me a count of corpses created by the military service in Vietnam. So it goes. My father died many years ago now — of natural causes. So it goes. He was a sweet man. He was a gun nut, too. He left me his . They rust.

— Kurt Vonnegut men

"Poo-Tee-Weet?"

— Kurt Vonnegut

I have this disease late at night sometimes, involving alcohol and the telephone. I get drunk, and I drive my wife away with a breath like mustard gas and roses. And then, speaking gravely and elegantly into the telephone, I ask the telephone operators to connect me with this friend or that one, from whom I have not heard in years.

— Kurt Vonnegut time

A play, performed in New York City from-

— Kurt Vonnegut play

Maybehas let everybody who ever lived be reborn — so he or she can see how it ends.

— Kurt Vonnegut live

Nobody is mad. We're all too busy playing shuffleboard.

— Kurt Vonnegut body

Things die. All things die.

— Kurt Vonnegut die

All through the day I'm so confident. That's why I'm such a good salesman, you know? I have confidence, and I look like I have confidence, and that gives other people confidence.

— Kurt Vonnegut people

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