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Larry Wall (Computer Scientist)

 : Why Bible quotes exclusively? What happened to the Eastern religions?
I'm still working on the Unicode mods.
— Larry Wall religion
Maybe we should take a clue from FTP and put in an option like 'print hash marks on every 1024 iterations'.
— Larry Wall
And besides, if Perl really takes off in the Windows space, I think the rest of us would just as soon have a double-agent within ActiveState.
— Larry Wall age
The court finds everyone to be in contempt (including himself :-), and orders everyone sentenced to five years hard labor. (Working on Perl, of course.)
— Larry Wall self
I note that the Python folks still think they like JPython. I wonder how long that will last?
— Larry Wall wonder
I view the JVM as just another architecture thatought to be ported to. (That, and the Underwood typewriter...)
— Larry Wall writer
So please don't think I have a 'down' on the MVS people. I'm just pulling off their arms to beat other people over the head with.
— Larry Wall people
It's, uh, pseudo code. Yeah, that's the ticket... [...] And 'unicode' is pseudo code for $encoding.
— Larry Wall
 : What do people think? What, do people think?
— Larry Wall people
Well, sure, I explicitly mentioned 'vtables' last time I brought this up. But a single pointer is fairly paltry, as tables go.
— Larry Wall time
I dunno. Perhaps you should be happy that I have a policy of refraining from grumbling about handicapped operating systems.
— Larry Wall happy
Perl did not get where it is by ignoring psychological factors.
— Larry Wall logic
On the plus side, it's a lot easier in general to find /usr/include than cpp.
— Larry Wall
Psychotics are consistently inconsistent. The essence of sanity is to be inconsistently inconsistent.
— Larry Wall sanity
That which hits the fan tends to get flung in all directions.
— Larry Wall end
If this were Ada, we'd simply doc it as 'erroneous'.
— Larry Wall
So I'm thinking about ??, or !!, or //, or \\, or whatever. But I think I like ?? the best so far. Or the least worst.
— Larry Wall thinking
One operator is no big deal. That can be fixed in a jiffy.
— Larry Wall
In Clintonese, that would be 'You are free to infer that I was saying that.'
— Larry Wall free
Would you trust the linguistic intuitions of someone who has been studying Latin or Greek for three days?
— Larry Wall trust
But I know what's important to me, and what isn't. And I think I know what people can get used to, and what they can even learn to like. (It just takes some people longer than others. :-)
— Larry Wall people
My arthritic pinkies are already starting to ache just thinking about ||||=.
— Larry Wall art
Orthogonality for orthogonality's sake is not something I'm keen on.
— Larry Wall
Must be a different Larry Wall. There are at least 137 of us in the U.S.
— Larry Wall different
Symmetry is overrated. Overrated is symmetry.
— Larry Wall
That is a known bug in 5.00550. Either an upgrade or a downgrade will fix it.
— Larry Wall will
That being said, I think we should immediately deprecate any string concatenation that combines '19' with '99'.
— Larry Wall think
The Golden Gate wasn't our fault either, but we still put a bridge across it.
— Larry Wall
It should be illegal to yell 'Y2K' in a crowded economy.
— Larry Wall economy
One thing I do understand is that people get scared when I start thinking out loud.
— Larry Wall art
 : No comment, since this is still hovering (see Larry's reply). Flutter, flutter.
— Larry Wall men
We don't have enough parallel universes to allow all uses of all junction types--in the absence of quantum computing the combinatorics are not in our favor...
— Larry Wall universe
Accidental stacks considered harmful.
— Larry Wall
I try not to confuse roles and traits in my own life. Being the Perl god is a role. Being a stubborn cuss is a trait.
— Larry Wall life
And in the limiting case where the optimizer is completely broken because it's not implemented yet, we get to work around that too. Optionally...
— Larry Wall work
I think I'm happier with that. $rubyometer += 0.3 or so.
— Larry Wall think
Quotations come from the source code to Perl version 4. Some may be present in more recent versions as well.
— Larry Wall present
double value; /* or your money back! */ short changed; /* so triple your money back! */
— Larry Wall change
/* now make a new head in the exact same spot */
— Larry Wall
#define NULL 0 /* silly thing is, we don't even use this */
— Larry Wall silly
#define SIGILL 6 /* blech */
— Larry Wall
if (rsfp = mypopen('/bin/mail root','w')) { /* heh, heh */
— Larry Wall
/* And you'll never guess what the dog had */ /* in its mouth... */
— Larry Wall you
break; /* don't do magic till later */
— Larry Wall magic
stab_val(stab)->str_nok = 1; /* what a wonderful hack! */
— Larry Wall wonder
tmps_base = tmps_max; /* protect our mortal string */
— Larry Wall
pos += screamnext[pos] /* does this goof up anywhere? */
— Larry Wall
str->str_pok |= SP_FBM; /* deep magic */ s = (unsigned char*)(str->str_ptr); /* deeper magic */
— Larry Wall magic
The Configure script in the Perl source code is generated by a tool called Metaconfig, which was also used in a number of Larry Wall's other programs.
— Larry Wall
echo 'Congratulations. You aren't running Eunice.
— Larry Wall running
echo 'Hmmm...you don't have Berkeley networking in libc.a...' echo 'but the Wollongong group seems to have hacked it in.
— Larry Wall work
echo 'ICK, NOTHING WORKED!!! You may have to diddle the includes.';;
— Larry Wall work
echo $package has manual pages available in source form. echo 'However, you don't have nroff, so they're probably useless to you.
— Larry Wall man
echo 'Your stdio isn't very std.'
— Larry Wall you
[End of diatribe. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming...]
— Larry Wall you
OOPS! You naughty creature! You didn't run Configure with sh! I will attempt to remedy the situation by running sh for you...
— Larry Wall you
That means I'll have to use $ans to suppress newlines now. Life is ridiculous.
— Larry Wall life
There is, however, a strange, musty smell in the air that reminds me of something...hmm...yes...I've got it...there's a VMS nearby, or I'm a Blit.
— Larry Wall mind
You can't have filenames longer than 14 chars. You can't even think about them!
— Larry Wall think
Your csh still thinks true is false. Write to your vendor today and tell them that next year Configure ought to 'rm /bin/csh' unless they fix their blasted shell.
— Larry Wall hell
/* we have tried to make this normal case as abnormal as possible */
— Larry Wall possible
s = (char*)(long)retval; /* ouch */
— Larry Wall
signal(i, SIG_DFL); /* crunch, crunch, crunch */
— Larry Wall
if (instr(buf,sys_errlist[errno])) /* you don't see this */
— Larry Wall you
/* dbmrefcnt--; */ /* doesn't work, rats */
— Larry Wall work
#else /* !STDSTDIO */ /* The big, slow, and stupid way */
— Larry Wall
/* This bit of chicanery makes a unary function followed by a parenthesis into a function with one argument, highest precedence. */
— Larry Wall men
Be consistent.
— Larry Wall
Does the same as the system call of that name. If you don't know what it does, don't worry about it.
— Larry Wall you
Even if you aren't in doubt, consider the mental welfare of the person who has to maintain the code after you, and who will probably put parens in the wrong place.
— Larry Wall men
Help save the world!
— Larry Wall world
If you want your program to be readable, consider supplying the argument.
— Larry Wall men
In general, they do what you want, unless you want consistency.
— Larry Wall you
Okay, that's definitely enough hype.
— Larry Wall
Perl is designed to give you several ways to do anything, so consider picking the most readable one.
— Larry Wall you
Remember though that THERE IS NO GENERAL RULE FOR CONVERTING A LIST INTO A SCALAR.
— Larry Wall
The autodecrement is not magical.
— Larry Wall men
*** The previous line contains the naughty word '$&'.\n if /(ibm|apple|awk)/; # :-)
— Larry Wall
When in doubt, parenthesize. At the very least it will let some poor schmuck bounce on the % key in vi.
— Larry Wall doubt
Taken from .
— Larry Wall
On 's robustness principle applied to human communication:
— Larry Wall man
People understand instinctively that the best way for computer programs to communicate with each other is for each of the them to be strict in what they emit, and liberal in what they accept. The odd thing is that people themselves are not willing to be strict in how they speak, and liberal in how they listen. You'd think that would also be obvious. Instead, we're taught to express ourselves.
— Larry Wall people
But I'm not here to talk about postmodernism. I tried to do that last spring, and afterwards I was thoroughly deconstructed by the deconstructionists for attempting to deconstruct deconstructionism. At least, that's the construction I put on their construction of it. I was talking about postmodern culture, and they thought I was talking about postmodern literature. Not at all the same thing!
— Larry Wall war
And C was good at something I like to call manipulexity, that is the manipulation of complex things. While shell was good at something else which I call whipuptitude, the aptitude for whipping things up.
— Larry Wall man
So... Perhaps the Perl 6 slogan should be "All Your Paradigms Are Belong To Us". We'll get to that.
— Larry Wall you
I simultaneously believe that languages are wonderful and awful. You have to hold both of those. Ugly things can be beautiful. And beautiful can get ugly very fast. You know, take Lisp. You know, it's the most beautiful language in the world. At least up until Haskell came along. (laughter) But, you know, every program in Lisp is just ugly. I don't figure how that works.
— Larry Wall work
Now, I'm not the only language designer with irrationalities. You can think of some languages to go with some of these things.
— Larry Wall language
How do you type it? With your keyboard.
— Larry Wall you
If there's a particular problem that Perl is trying to solve, it's the basic fact that all programming languages suck. Sort of the concept of original sin, applied to programming languages. There are a lotta computer languages out there doing drugs.
— Larry Wall art
The only reason I've managed to run this open source project, is that I have learned to delegate even the delegation to other people. (final words of the video)
— Larry Wall people
Note: On IRC, Wall uses the nickname "TimToady" (the phonetic equivalent of TIMTOWTDI, which are the initials of the Perl Motto "There is More Than One Way to Do it").
— Larry Wall
TimToady's Lament: The pain in reign falls mainly in the 'splain.
— Larry Wall pain
on 26 February, 2007. .
— Larry Wall
[Boxed] Multiple bouncing balls in a box are a metaphor for community. Notice how the escaping balls explode. This is what happens to people who move from Perl to .
— Larry Wall people
...Then you start building things like the Berlin wall to keep people inside your community. In anthropological terms, that's tribalism. A tribal Perl programmer might say, "If you leave the Perl tribe to go and join the Python tribe, we will hunt you down, cook you, and eat you." Or if you join thetribe, you will explode. By and large, I am not in favor of tribalism. Except for my tribe, of course.
— Larry Wall art
The three chief virtues of a programmer are: Laziness, Impatience and Hubris.
— Larry Wall patience
The problem with being consistent is that there are lots of ways to be consistent, and they're all inconsistent with each other.
— Larry Wall wit
There's really no way to fix this and still keep Perl pathologically eclectic.
— Larry Wall path
…I also discovered Larry's First Law of Language Redesign: Everyone wants the colon.
— Larry Wall age
Larry's 2nd Law of Language Redesign: Larry gets the colon.
— Larry Wall age

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