Not Another Teen Movie 2001

Janey: I read Sylvia Plath, I listen to Bikini Kill and I eat Tofu. I am a unique rebel.Mitch: It sounds more like youre a lesbo.Mr. Briggs: Hey, Mitch, now leave your sister alone.Janey: Thank you, daddy.Mr. Briggs: If Janey wants to be a rug-muncher, thats her decision.

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 alone

Jake: Malik, can you hold my books for me?Jake: Sure, why not? I am the token black guy. Im just supposed to smile and stay out of the conversation and say things like: Damn, Shit, and That is whack.

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 books

Catherine: Can I ask you a question? Why is it then whenever I tell a guy to put it wherever they want, they always stick it in my ass?Malik: Damn.Jake: Thats way too much information for me, Catherine.Catherine: Oh no Jake. Way too much information would be telling you that whenever theyre done I always take a huge dump.Malik: Shit.Catherine: On their chest.Malik: Oh, that is whack.

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 you

Janey: [talking about her dead mom] I remember it like it was yesterday, Christmas 1989, Dad had just gotten fired from the Zippo factory, Mom was still pulling in tricks to make ends meet, Daniel Day Lewis won an Oscar for My Left Foot, and all I wanted was one of those little Betsy Wetsy dolls.Jake: I remember those. Push her belly and shed piss all over herself.Janey: She said she was going out to get my Dad a bottle of gin, but, I knew she was going to get me that present. It was raining really hard that night, the roads were... slippery.Jake: Janey... a car accident.Janey: No. Cancer.

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 self

[White cheerleaders]Cheerleaders: We are the North Compton wild cats. Were black, we know it. We shake our big booties and we show it. We aint white. We aint white. We definitely aint white. Break it down niggas.

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 cats

Mitch: We were just sitting here like we were supposed to.Richard Vernon: I dont want to hear it mister you just bought yourself another detention.Mitch: Thats not fair.Richard Vernon: Cry me a river dickface, you just bought yourself another one.Mitch: [under his breath] Shorts.Richard Vernon: What was that?Mitch: Eat... My... Shorts.Richard Vernon: Dont mess with the bull young man youll get the horns.Mitch: Im shaking.Richard Vernon: You just got another.Mitch: Good.Richard Vernon: You Through?Mitch: Not even close *BUD*?Richard Vernon: You want another one?Mitch: Yes.Richard Vernon: You got it.Mitch: Good.Richard Vernon: Thats another one, you had enough yet?Mitch: No.Richard Vernon: Thats another one.Mitch: So?Richard Vernon: You just say the word Ill keep going.Mitch: Go.Richard Vernon: Eennie-meenie-mynie...?Mitch: Mo.

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 self

Austin: [to Jake] All I said was, Im pretending to whisper a big secret in your ear, so Jake here thinks that Im telling you a big secret, which will cause him to break into a hysterical confession where he actually reveals... a big secret. Thus confirming everything I just whispered in your ear.

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 you

Jake: [Looking at stick figure drawing] Whos that?Janey: Its my mother.Jake: You have her eyes.

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 mother

Catherine: I want you.Jake: Catherine thats disgusting! Youre my sister.Catherine: Only by blood.Jake: [Shoving her off] Whats wrong with this family?

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 family

Girl at Party: Dude, you cant start a slow clap at any time and expect everyone to join in.

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 time

Priscilla: You put the suck in liposuction You put the ooo in jiu-jitsu You put the ism in This is all just a defense mechanism.

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 you

Ricky Lipman: I am *not* going to let you hurt Janey again. Okay? Besides, I love her.Jake: Well, so do I.Ricky Lipman: [slight pause] Yes, but Im the best friend, and I have been in front of her face the whole time, and she just... hasnt really realized it yet, but she will.Jake: Well, Im the reformed cool guy, whos learned the error of his ways. Shes gonna forgive me for my mistakes, and realize that I really love her.Ricky Lipman: [pause] Dammit, thats true.

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 love

cheerleader: You better bring it.Priscilla: Oh, its already been brought-en.

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 you

Amanda: Do you think I sleep with every guy who writes me a letter? No. I give them hand jobs.

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 man

Janey: I knew it. Thats a line from Shes All That. I masturbate to that movie.Jake: [to nosy Flight Attendant right behind them] Do you mind?Airline Clerk: Not at all, I think masturbation is very healthy.

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 mind

Mitch: No longer will our penises be flaccid and unused.Bruce: No longer we steal grandfathers porn.Ox: No longer we will wear blindfolds while jerking each other off.

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 father

Jake: Hey Janey. Whats up?Janey: Excuse me?Jake: So listen, you ever wondered what itd be like to be the most popular girl in school?Janey: You mean anorexic, superficial, a bitch, a whore who lacks any real long-term goals?Jake: Uhhh ha ha... exactly. So, if youre interested, I thought that maybe we could go out sometime, be seen in public together.Janey: You havent spoken to me in, like, four years Jake.Jake: Actually, its more like six, because the time youre referring to when we were standing in line at that movie theater, I was actually saying hey to the person right behind you.

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 time

Areola: But I dont need the class schedule. I only come to this country to be object of lust for poor nerds who cannot get American pussy.Mr. Cornish: Well, isnt that wonderful?

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 america

Janey Briggs: [shouts] I am a golden goddess!

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 god

Albino Folk Singer: [singing] I have no pigment, I need sunscreen...

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 men

Austin: Jake Wyler. So congratulations man, you just blew my perfect season. Senor You-Just-Blew-My-Perfect-Season!Jake: What do you want Austin?Austin: A life.[pause]Austin: And payback.Jake: Cmon man, dont do this.Austin: No, man, I think Ill hang around. Maybe tell Janey a little S-E-C-R-A-T-P...

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 life

Austin: My Freshmen year I threw 176 touchdown passes. My sophomore year I ran in 14 myself... with a sprained ankle, a broken phalange, a ruptured duodenum, and a sub dermal hematoma.

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 men

Catherine: Not scoring any cock, either?Sadie: Cock? Ive never even been kissed

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 sad

Jake: [after being thrown a pink bra, grinning] Tiffany...[throws away the bra]Jake: [after being thrown red panties, continues grinning] Melanie...[throws away the panties]Jake: [after being thrown white boxer-shorts, smile disappears quickly] Hey Arthur...[keeps the boxer-shorts]

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 art

Jake: How could Priscilla dump me, Jake Wyler? I mean who the hell does she think she is?Austin: I got two words for ya, Jake: Prom Queen... material.Jake: Austin, shes an illusion. Ok, you take away the make-up, the clothes, the way she wears her hair, the smell of her perfume, that cute little face she makes when shes tonguing my balls. Look shes totally replaceable.

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 words

Janey: Daddy, theres this boy, Jake...Mr. Briggs: [Concerned] Oh, honey, Jake knocked you up!Janey: [Horrified] What? No!

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 you

Mr. Briggs: [to Janey] Good night, Pumpkin Tits.

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 good

[Punches Austin]Jake: Thats for taking Janie to the prom.Priscilla: You put the...[Jake punches her]Jake: Thats for hurting Janie at Prestons party.Les: [Filming] This is really turning me on.[Jake punches him]Jake: Thats for... being really weird.[Starts to leave, turns and punches Les floating bag]Jake: I dont know what that was for.

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 art

The Coach: Wyler, after all the goddamn shenanigans you pulled last season, you should be thanking God youre still in goddamn uniform, goddamnit!

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 god

[to Chinese guys]Bruce: Catch you later.[to two white guys dressed in hip-hop clothing]Bruce: What happenin?White Guy: Damn, Shorty, dawg is pretendin to be all Asian, and shit.White Guy: That Cracka is white! Cant he see dat yo?

— Not Another Teen Movie 2001 you

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