Ratchet & Clank series

Dallas: Since I dont have much time left, Id just like to apologize to a few people. Timmy Aberdeen, I was the one who lit your backpack on fire, and Im sorry that you couldnt get it off in time. Susie Binkleton, I was the one who put the tyhrranoid in your locker. Hey, but I hear the therapy is going well, though. Chin up, kid! And finally to you, Juanita, my dear, sweet Juanita. Im sorry for six years of rude jokes, harassing innuendo, and those friendly little pinches in the elevator. But who am I kidding you, you love it!

— Ratchet & Clank series love

Al: I got them off of a former contestant whoumwont be needing them any more. Merc: Dont worry boss, you wont end up like that last guy. Green: I hope not, I still have nightmares about it. Merc: annoyed Aww, suck it up, Green!

— Ratchet & Clank series hope

Ratchet: infuriated me out of this you Blarg-headed frak monkey! I can barely breathe and my tail feels like its shoved right up my-

— Ratchet & Clank series you

Vox: Greetings, hero, and welcome to DreadZone. Rest assured, you are now far out of the reach of hope. There will be no rescues, no pardons, no possibility of escape. You are now a contestant on the greatest holo-vision program the galaxy has ever known. Chances are youll be dead by tomorrow, but those of you who play the game with skill and strategy will earn a chance to win your freedom.

— Ratchet & Clank series hope

Vox: Over PA system High levels of radiation have been detected in the containment area. If you reside next to or near Uranium Man, you will die shortly.

— Ratchet & Clank series men

Vox:Over PA system For everyone to enjoy it, please keep the interplanetary transport as clean as possible. After all, your mother does not work hereoh, except for you, Captain Nightingale.

— Ratchet & Clank series joy

Green When hovership is damaged Sir, um Im seeing parts of this fly off that we, uh, kinda need.

— Ratchet & Clank series art

Green: Whimpering after seeing a robot zombie on Catacrom Four Merc: Whats the matter Green? Green: Its that dead robot over there, sir. I think it moved.

— Ratchet & Clank series dead

Merc: After getting to the top of the Valix beacon Its so bright! Itslike a lightbulb, butso much brighter! UhhhIm not good with words.

— Ratchet & Clank series words

Merc: Voiceover in multiplayer Gravity boots are our way of saying Screw you, nature. You can walk magnetic walls and ceilings, you can even scare your momma. I dont care!

— Ratchet & Clank series nature

Merc: Boss, if you miss that swingshot target, you will suffer a horrible, painful death. No pressure, though.

— Ratchet & Clank series death

Dallas: See, this is what they mean by gratuitous violence, Juanita. Im going to call my kids and tell them to stop watching! Just as soon as I have kids.

— Ratchet & Clank series violence

Juanita: I cant look, is Team Darkstar dead?! DallasDallas?! What are you doing?! Dallas: Nothing, just keep your eyes closedOW!

— Ratchet & Clank series dark

Dallas: They have to traverse what I like to call the Chasm of Endless Falling and Eventual Dying. Good luck kids!

— Ratchet & Clank series good

Dallas: In this challenge, Team Darkstar needs to grind a cable positioned hundreds of feet above the water! Is this even safe? Of course not! This is DreadZone, baby!

— Ratchet & Clank series dark

Dallas: Ratchet is kicking some proverbial butt. By proverbial, I meanI dont know what I mean. Merc: It means were unstoppable.

— Ratchet & Clank series

Dallas: Oh, this could be disaster for Team Darkstar! I put 500 bolts on this match! Juanita: Dallas, our lives are at risk and youre gambling?! Dallas: Oh, Juanita, dont act like you care! YOUNEVERCARED! OH YEAH, THERE WE GO! I POPPED A BLOOD VESSELAGAIN! Um, could someone please get me a tissue?

— Ratchet & Clank series live

Juanita: Thats right. Take him out, Team Darkstar! Destroy him, destroy his family, make him cry into his next life! Draaaaaaaaaaaaaagh! Dallas Ive never seen that before! Ladies and gentlemen, Juanita has eaten the cameraman!

— Ratchet & Clank series life

Dallas: And theyre gonna be squashed like pancakes! With syrup, and butter, and jam, and a little orange garnish on top and--say, can I have breakfast for dinner or is that just weird?

— Ratchet & Clank series weird

Dallas: And that lombax is terminating with extreme prejudice! Its a good thing were out of range, eh, Juanita? We are out of range, arent we?

— Ratchet & Clank series good

Dallas: Folks, just a reminder. Tomorrow is Kick Your Best Friend in the Pants Day! Free popcorn for everyone who participates.

— Ratchet & Clank series art

Dallas: This guys gonna get us a lot of commercial time, Juanita. Lets just hope we dont have any more wardrobe malfunctions! Laughs

— Ratchet & Clank series hope

Dallas: Team Darkstar is making their mark in DreadZone! Team Markstar is making their dark in RedZone! Oh, dear, Ive gone cross-eyed

— Ratchet & Clank series dark

Dallas: In the Dark Cathedral of Kronos Its cold, its dank, its scary, its just like my ex-wife!

— Ratchet & Clank series dark

Dallas: Interesting fact, folks, DreadZone started over two guys fighting over a breakfast burrito, and the rest is history!

— Ratchet & Clank series art

Dallas: When the Puma is damaged Hey, dont scratch the paint on that Puma. Were giving it away on bingo night!

— Ratchet & Clank series pain

Dallas: After making his fortune selling cigarettes to children, Ratchet went on to pilot a tanker ship for planet Zexxon. Juanita: Only a week later he got drunk and crashed his tanker on the ocean planet of Aquatos. Who can forget the graphic images of baby seals smothered in radioactive waste? Sound of baby seal Little Coco, never had a chance. Al To Ratchet How could you! Grabs him What did Little Coco ever do to you?! Ratchet: Wh, what? Clank: Al, how can you believe these ridiculous lies?

— Ratchet & Clank series children

Dallas: If Ratchet was a tough cookie, what kind of cookie would he be? Im gonna have to go with snickerdoodle.

— Ratchet & Clank series wit

Dallas: Nervously Greetings, DreadZone fans, and welcome to the final episode of DreadZoneHead flops into hands Oh Godwere all gonna die! Hides beneath desk Juanita: The mood ispositivelyuh, electric, as the audience braces to find out whether they will survivethe next ten minutes. I cant believe Im reading this. Dallas: I had my whole life ahead of meI was gonna be aballet dancer! Juanita: Pull yourself together, you blabbering idiot! Slaps him across the face, hard Dallas: Thank you, Juanita.

— Ratchet & Clank series life

Juanita: This reminds me of the Galaxys Most Painful Home Movies, I love the part where they miss the jump and smash their crotches on the railing, so wacky!

— Ratchet & Clank series love

Ranking Machine: If you believe there is an error in your score, please realize you are not that good.

— Ratchet & Clank series believe

Ranking Machine: Attention: Something small and furry has walked into the ranking station. Oh, its you Ratchet.

— Ratchet & Clank series you

Dr. Nefarious: Huh? Lawrence, whats going on?! You said that we were coming within range of a space station! Lawrence: Well, we were, sir. How would I know that it would suddenly explode? Dr. Nefarious: LAAAAAAAAAAAAAWREEEEEEEEEEENCE!!!!!!

— Ratchet & Clank series law

Drek: You thought? You thought?! I do the thinking around here you slugbrain idiot! I simply ordered you to deal with those two nuisances before they could cause any trouble!

— Ratchet & Clank series thinking

Interviewer: Welcome back to Behind the Hero, tonights heroes are the duo who recently restored peace and order to our galaxy: Ratchet & Clank. So gentlemen, tell us about your latest incredible adventures.

— Ratchet & Clank series peace

Ratchet: Well as you can image, weve been pretty busy: After Dreks defeat there were parades, press conferences, fancy dress balls

— Ratchet & Clank series age

Ratchet: Seeing Clank unconscious Clank dont uh move, Im coming down! Thief comes from behind and pushes Ratchet off the ledge

— Ratchet & Clank series

Thug Leader: Awww Quickly realizing the trick Hey, wait a secondAngela comes up on screen Sending a little message to ya little pals, hah? to where the recording is Well say goodbye, boys! Angela makes a run for it To someone else about Angela Take er to Headquarters!

— Ratchet & Clank series art

Thug Leader: This message is for all Thugs-4-Less personnel. Ehh Megacorp has hired us to protect their C.E.O., Mr. Fizzwidget, Holds up vid-screen showing a picture of Mr. Fizzwidget who they think is getting a little cuckoo in his old age and concerned for his safety. Lowers the vid-screen away Now, Mr. Fizzwidgets a little old-fashioned, so I want everything handled with the ahem spits pride and courtesy; people have come to expect from us. Also, keep an eye out for these two characters. Another vid-screen is shown, this one shows Ratchet and Clank Ive got a personal interest in seeing these two rubbed out. so, Im offering a free pizza party to the squad that bags em. And remember, that includes drinks and desserts!

— Ratchet & Clank series art

Announcer: Ask yourself, are you man enough, hero enough, insane enough to step into the ring with two of the fiercest warriors in the galaxy? If you answered yes, youre a big fat liar!

— Ratchet & Clank series war

Angela: Guys! If you get this message, please meet me on my home world. Just so you know, Ive found my old ID badge. Three Protopets appear, catching Angelas attention Im pretty sure we can still use it to infiltrate Megacorp HQ As she says Im pretty sure we still can use it to infiltrate Megacorp HQ, Angela bends down almost off-screen, making a snowball and then stands up but youre gonna have to hurry! Throws the snowball at one of the Protopets, causing the other two to hide off-screen. Angela then catches her breath Before the Protopets COMPLETELY OVERRUN US!!! Oh, and sorry for the balloon-a-gram, it was the only thing I could get off this plan- The 2 Protopets peak out from where they are hiding and one of them growls at Angela as she speaks, Angela then gets cut off

— Ratchet & Clank series world

Clank: It says: In case of emergency, break glass to get wrench Ratchet prepares to break the glass with his wrench Hold on! This one says Use rock to break glass to get wrench to break glass to get rock. Ooh! I love logic puzzles! Lets see If you break the glass with the-

— Ratchet & Clank series love

Announcer: Why is Billy sad? Billy cries Is he cold? Hungry? Or maybe just The Protopet comes on-screen, up to Billy

— Ratchet & Clank series sad

Announcer: Introducing the Megacorp Protopet. Your child will shriek with joy when he meets our adorable friend! The Protopet gets closer to Billy Wanna play ball? Billy throws his ball at the Protopet which it swallows, then spits it out back at Billy with twice the force, knocking him over So does the Protopet. Need a partner for tag? The Protopet starts to chase Billy who is screaming in fear Go find the Protopet. Up for some Cops n Robbers? Protopet pins down Billy

— Ratchet & Clank series fear

Announcer: So is you-know-who! Just. Ask .Billy! The Protopet spins around with Billy in its mouth and then spits him into the air

— Ratchet & Clank series you

Local Camper: I seen him run right through our campin site. He was butt nekkid, screaming and hold a bananar! Or or maybe it werent a bananar. It it could be--

— Ratchet & Clank series right

Qwark: First, Ratchet and Clank will descend to the Seafloor and wave through a series of tunnels filled with waist-high raw sewage.

— Ratchet & Clank series war

Qwark: Please hold your questions til the end of the presentation. After infiltrating the base, our agents will split up. Clank will enter the bases ventalation system where he will locate and deploy this Banana Guided Autonomous Monkey Device or B.G.A.M.D.. Meanwhile, Ratchet will use his extensive knowledge of the Tyhranoid language and customs to win the trust of the blood-thirsty alien guards. Finally, our agents will make their way to Nefarious personal office, steal everything that isnt nailed down, and exfiltrate the base completly undetected.

— Ratchet & Clank series knowledge

Skidd McMarx: My codename is Shadow Dude, bro. Black Ops are my speciality. I figured you guys could use my help.

— Ratchet & Clank series you

Ratchet: Hacker? Oh well, you know on second thought, wed like you to join the mission, Shadow Dude.

— Ratchet & Clank series thought

Lawrence: If anyone could beat a moron at his own game, its you, sir. He has however, assembled a group of elite agents known as The Q Force.

— Ratchet & Clank series age

Galactic Ranger 2: Suck it up 26! You have nothing to worry about. I have special training building electronic err, thingamijigs

— Ratchet & Clank series anger

Skidd McMarx: Sasha and Qwark are meeting with the president, man, they left me in charge of the ship!

— Ratchet & Clank series war

Lawrence: Even drooling imbeciles can achieve succes in certain fields, sir. Mad Science, for example.

— Ratchet & Clank series science

Big Al: Simple. I bypass the security server with a 626 hack matrix adapter and reprocess the graphic sub-processor.

— Ratchet & Clank series wit

Helga: Oh, the little man is cocky now, ho ho ho. Perhaps youd like to meet Helga on the wrestling mat hmm. Lets see how cocky you are, twisted up like a wet noodle.

— Ratchet & Clank series man

Ratchet: Wow look at this, the complete Secret Agent Clank holo-vid collection. This guys your biggest fan!

— Ratchet & Clank series age

Ratchet: Yeah, hi, umm I was just wondering, what are the rest of you gonna be doing while Im down there getting blasted?

— Ratchet & Clank series wonder

A24: This reminds me of the sewer war on Planet Aquatos back in 62. When I killed a King Ameboid with my bare hands.

— Ratchet & Clank series war

A22: I heard the ameboid swallowed you, sir. I hear that you were AWOL until youuhh.were found a week later floating in a toilet on Planet Barien.

— Ratchet & Clank series you

Comic Narrator: These are the real life adventures of Captain Qwark, the greatest superhero the galaxy has ever known.

— Ratchet & Clank series life

Comic Narrator: Ahem Meticulously reconstructed with the aid of eyewitness accounts, bathroom gossip, wild speculations, and a magic eight-ball.

— Ratchet & Clank series magic

Starport Tannoy: Welcome to the Zeldrin Starport. Due to increased security, thermonuclear warheads and nail clippers are no longer permitted as carry-on baggage.

— Ratchet & Clank series war

Starport Tannoy: Loitering in the starport is strictly forbidden. Offenders will be disintegrated and fined.

— Ratchet & Clank series sin

Lawrence: Im afraid were well out of range, sir. Perhaps if you had bothered to specify a destination

— Ratchet & Clank series law

Dr. Nefarious: To think, they called me insane, Lawrence. Well see whos insanewhen my pets have exterminated all life on this miserable planet!

— Ratchet & Clank series life

Ratchet: In his dream Hey, its not your fault, I can be too stubborn sometimes. Clank: You can hear me? Ratchet: In his dream Uh, yeah, Youre standing right here!

— Ratchet & Clank series time

Clank: Ratchet, dont you notice something strange about Luna? Ratchet: Well, its weird that she has a huge door in the back of her head.

— Ratchet & Clank series strange

Clank: Exactly. I believe the Technomites had deceived us from the beginning. I only do not know why.

— Ratchet & Clank series believe

Luna: changing her voice We knew youd fall for it, Ratchet. You cant resist playing the hero. We just needed to get you to our lab so we could extract your DNA and this was the easiest way to do it.

— Ratchet & Clank series you

Luna: We Technomites are tired of being taken advantage of. Everyone uses our technology but no one give us credit. Our robots are strong, but as you have demonstrated, they are no match for Ratchet. So, were making our own Ratchets.

— Ratchet & Clank series technology

Luna: Using our advanced cloning technology, Emperor Otto has begun creating an entire army of Ratchets. His Clone Factory is churning them out as we speak. You are already too late to stop him.

— Ratchet & Clank series sin

Ratchet: Look, Clank! That girl is in trouble and we can help her! Technomites are just some fairy story that parents tell their kids to explain how technology works! They dont really exist!

— Ratchet & Clank series work

Clank: I believe they do exist and this can prove it. That is why those robots wanted that child to get this object.

— Ratchet & Clank series believe

Qwark Its not that, its my mother, and father, I never knew my family. I was given up for adoption as a baby and was raised by monkeys!

— Ratchet & Clank series war

Otto: This isnt about credit for our work, or respect, or what other nonsense youve come to believe. This is about power! And what is more powerful then intelligence?

— Ratchet & Clank series intelligence

T.V. Announcer: So get your Battle Ratchet today! Its the most realistic fighting toy ever! Warning: Battle Ratchet is a living creature, do not leave in original packaging without appropriate breathing holes.

— Ratchet & Clank series war

Percival Tachyon: Emperor Percival Tachyon, crown prince of the Cragmites, conqueror of space and time, and - pending the obliteration of a few insubordinate species - ruler of the universe!

— Ratchet & Clank series time

Clank: Ratchet! The planetary defense center is 300 cubits below us! How do you suppose we get down?!

— Ratchet & Clank series you

Smuggler: Dont you lay this on me, you worthless sack of Kerchu sweat! You were supposed to watch the gel gauge!

— Ratchet & Clank series you

Clank: Ratchet! Qwark may be a lot of things, but I do not believe he would hand over the Dimensionator, just to spare his own life!

— Ratchet & Clank series life

Qwark: Stronghold to Deadmeat! Stronghold to Deadmeat! Im being held prisoner, request assistance A.S.A.PP four?

— Ratchet & Clank series war

Qwark - Imperial Fight Festival Announcer: He just cant seem to land a hit folks. This guy must be more irritated than a one-legged droid in butt kicking contest!

— Ratchet & Clank series war

Qwark - Imperial Fight Festival Announcer: See how our opponent flees his attackers. His hand between his legs, his eyes filled with tearsI taught him that trick

— Ratchet & Clank series war

Qwark - Imperial Fight Festival Announcer: Whoa, that looked painful! I would turn away if I werent already completely desensitized by Holonet violence.

— Ratchet & Clank series war

Qwark - Imperial Fight Festival Announcer: This is just a reminder folks, streaking through the arena is prohibited by law. Im looking at you, Crushto!

— Ratchet & Clank series war

Qwark - Imperial Fight Festival Announcer: Tired of losing crop after crop of jellyweed thanks to fossilmite infestation? Try Grummelnets new and improved Lawn Ninjas! Protecting your garden, with the quickness!

— Ratchet & Clank series war

Qwark - Imperial Fight Festival Announcer: Watching this young buck fight reminds me what got me into gladiatingHonour, courage, glory! And of course the groupies, ahhhh, groupies

— Ratchet & Clank series war

Qwark - Imperial Fight Festival Announcer: Mustachio enjoys hoverball, stamp collecting, and taking long walks on the beach, with small robotic know-it-allsWhen he grows up he says he wants to be just like, gasp Captain Qwark! How unexpected!

— Ratchet & Clank series war

Qwark - Imperial Fight Festival Announcer: Will our challenger crush Crushto? Or will he become interstellar fish food?

— Ratchet & Clank series war

Qwark - Imperial Fight Festival Announcer: This giant mechanical robotslashfishthingyenjoys tennis, arts and crafts andsushi?! Heh, who knew?

— Ratchet & Clank series war

Qwark - Imperial Fight Festival Announcer: We have a new champion! Congratulations Mustachio! Youve defied the odds, and managed, not to die!

— Ratchet & Clank series war

Qwark: No need for holograms Ratchet, I happen to be a skilled artist, trained in the prestigious Kerwan Learning Annex. Behold!

— Ratchet & Clank series war

Mr. Zurkon: One little, two little, three little Cragmites, Four little, five little, DEAD little Cragmites.

— Ratchet & Clank series dead

Captain Slag: Will Rusty Pete please report to the armoury, I need my cannonballs buffed to a high shine.

— Ratchet & Clank series will

Zordoom Prison PA: As a reminder to all inmates, anyone caught mocking Emperor Tachyons name, or size, will be immediately executed by a firing squad.

— Ratchet & Clank series mind

Zordoom Prison PA: Inmate number 829C. Cognito, Slim, please report to sector twelve for transport to cryosleep chamber.

— Ratchet & Clank series sleep

Zordoom Prison PA: Inmate number 510D, Hardlight, Ace, please report to the mess hall for kitchen duty

— Ratchet & Clank series light

Zordoom Prison PA: Attention inmates. Anyone caught smuggling grummelnet contraband into the prison, will be forced to listen to Grubthorin folk music for 10 cycles.

— Ratchet & Clank series music

Qwark: Zordoom prison! A dangerous dungeon of dastardly denizens, death and destruction! A deadly den of devious, desperadoes, damaged by decades of duhhhlets just say, theyre criminalsTo infiltrate this fortified, fortress of fear, our agent, codenamed Deadmeat, will make his way across the grindway of certain death, traverse the walkway of tortured souls, and ascend the grav-ramp into the mouth of the jolly jackal! While I direct the operation from my townhouse of solitude, our agent will jump down the elevator shaft to the lair of eternal sorrow It is here he will be confronted by an army of Tachyon troopers, a battalion of embattled bandits, and an entire school of Zombie Ninja Panda Bears! Good luck Deadmeat! May you die a glorious heroes death!

— Ratchet & Clank series death

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