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Rick Mercer

Announcer: Hey, Americans, come to Canada. Now with nofor tourists. That's right, the visitor rebate program has been canceled! So now you can fully enjoy our Canadian taxes. Male American tourist: Wherever we go, we like to live like the locals. Female American tourist: Experiencing your exotic tax system makes us feel like Canuckians!

— Rick Mercer joy

Announcer: Central Canada lost thirty thousand full-time jobs last month, and recession fears are growing. So why not come to where the jobs are? ! We're looking for qualified applicants in the fields of geology, seismology, radioactive leak cleanup, public relations, and mathematics - the kind that measures arcs [Shows graphic of a missile arcing through the atmosphere from North Korea to Washington DC]. Just bring your resume and a two-year supply of food! North Korea - where business is .

— Rick Mercer fear

[Skit entitled: Behaviour Modification School for Candidates] Instructor: Let's say you're a . Student (Mercer): [Claps hands eagerly] I'm a Liberal! I'm a Liberal! Instructor: Do you think Quebec should be recognized as a nation inside of Canada? Student: [Firmly] Yes. I believe that Quebec should be rec-[A board hits him over the head] Owww! What the hell?! Instructor: No, wrong. Student: He hit me with a board! Instructor: Do you believe Quebec should be recognized as a nation inside of Canada? Student: [Warily] Uh, no. [Stronger] I do not believe that Quebec is- [Another board hits his head] Owww! Ahhh! Instructor: Do you believe Quebec should be recognized as a nation inside of Canada? Student: [Confused and frightened] I just think that all the provinces should be happy and be in a happy place where they're in a happy land of happiness? Instructor: Correct!

— Rick Mercer happiness

[In a skit about Quebec bar owners protesting a smoking ban, Mercer (playing the bar owner) stands in a room so smoky it is impossible to see anything.] Bar owner: I care about the health of my patrons, and that's why I created two separate rooms: one for chain smokers and one for the casual smoker. The casual room has far less smoke, that's the one I'm in now. You force people into an alley, they risk pneumonia, the world's number one infectious disease, as this chart shows [points to something which is completely obscured by smoke]. Pretty eye-opening, huh? Announcer: Help the Quebec bar owners win their fight against pneumonia-loving lawmakers.

— Rick Mercer art

I dont believe in outing people. Its up to the individual, but theres nothing wrong putting the pressure on.

— Rick Mercer people

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