Shark Tale 2004

Oscar: My dad was the greatest... but nobody loves a nobody.

— Shark Tale 2004 love

Oscar: Hi, Im Oscar - you might think you know me, but you have no idea! Welcome to my crib - the good life, the way the other half lives! Check it out, I got my 60-inch high-def plasma TV with six-speaker surround, CD, DVD, Playstation and an eight-track for one of those days when youre feeling just a little weeka-weeka-weeka OLD SCHOOL, ha ha ha! Coz even a superstar Mac-daddy fish like me has to have the basic necessities!Shortie #1: Yeah, like money![Camera zooms out to show Oscar standing in front of billboard ad]

— Shark Tale 2004 life

[Lenny accidentally eats Oscar]Oscar: Dont... swallow!Lenny: Oscar?Oscar: No, its Pinocchio - of course its me! Why did you do that?Lenny: Oh, Im sorry...Oscar: No, sorry is when you step on somebodys fin at the theatre! Yeah, thats sorry! Sorry is when you ask somebody Hey, whens the baby due? and it turns out the persons just fat! No, this is as far away from sorry as you can possibly get!Lenny: Oscar, I think Im gonna puke...Oscar: Oh, no no no no... Lenny, just open up, nice and slow!

— Shark Tale 2004 body

Oscar: Remember what Angie said. Remember what Angie said. What did Angie say?Angie: [in Oscars mind] Dreams can start out small. You just gotta... bet it all. Bet it all!

— Shark Tale 2004 dreams

Frankie: Sorry, pop. Lenny had a little accident. He was born!Lenny: Ha ha. Youre a comedy genius.

— Shark Tale 2004 comedy

Sykes: Come on, snap your fin. Snap it. Youre not snapping it.Don Lino: Im snapping it, Im snapping it!Sykes: Thats okay, a lot of great whites cant do it, yo.Don Lino: Yo?Sykes: Yo, whats up?Don Lino: Whats up with what?Sykes: Yo-yo-yo, yo-yo-yo, yo-yo-yo-yo...Don Lino: Hey, you say Yo one more time, and Im gonna yo you.Sykes: Im sorry.

— Shark Tale 2004 time

Prawn Shop Owner: [examining a pearl] Yup, its fake.Oyster: Fake? I worked eight years on that!

— Shark Tale 2004 work

[Frankie starts humming the Jaws tune]Lenny: That song gives me the creeps!Frankie: What do ya mean? Its our theme song![the Jaws tune starts to play, and the opening credits roll]

— Shark Tale 2004 art

Don Feinberg: Any requests? How about that Titanic song?[the sharks moan and groan their dissent]

— Shark Tale 2004 song

[Angie becomes unbelievably and understandably jealous after seeing Oscar and Lola kiss on television]Angie: Just tell me, Oscar, because Im curious - why do you think shes interested, huh? Do you think, for one minute, that she would even be WITH you if you werent the rich and famous Shark Slayer?Lenny: [trying to intervene] Awww, you guys, please dont fight...Angie: Are you that blind?Oscar: At least she treats me like Im somebody!Angie: Yeah, well would she love you if you were nobody?Oscar: NOBODY loved me when I was nobody!Angie: I DID!

— Shark Tale 2004 love

Crazy Joe: Now that you live in a big penthouse, can I be your financial advisor?Oscar: Crazy Joe, thats a billboard.Crazy Joe: You live in a billboard?Oscar: No!Crazy Joe: ...And I thought I was crazy![floats away on an umbrella, cackling insanely]

— Shark Tale 2004 thought

Oscar: Big shark comes at me. Seventy-five, hundred feet long, with razor-sharp teeth. I say to him, You coming at me like that? You come at the O like that?Angie: Hey, do the muscle thing! The muscle thing!Oscar: Oh, right. So I say, You see this guy?[points at right bicep]Oscar: Well, he has a brother who lives right over here.[points at left bicep]Oscar: And I think its time for a little...Oscar, Angie: Family reunion!

— Shark Tale 2004 time

Bernie: Ernie, let me ask you a question?Ernie: Yeah, man?Bernie: Why is it that we can sting other people, but they have no effect on me or you?[a tentacle of his brushes and stings Ernie, causing him to fall down screaming and twitching]Bernie: Ernie! I didnt mean it, Ernie, I didnt mean it, man... Ernie, Ernie, ohh, Ernie...[Ernie suddenly gets up laughing]Bernie: Ernie! You made a joke! Good one, man - respect!Ernie: Respect! Bloatfire![they high-five each other]

— Shark Tale 2004 people

Oscar: I am the Panama Canal, baby! From now one, everything flows through me![he picks up a fork and places it between the eyes of the hammerhead shark Giuseppe]Giuseppe: Whatd he do? Whatd he do? I cant see it!

— Shark Tale 2004 eyes

[last lines]Lola: Hello? Hello? Oscar? Listen, Baby, I know I was a bad girl, but youd have to be crazy not to take me back!Crazy Joe: Did someone say crazy?

— Shark Tale 2004 hell

Sykes: [about Lenny] Look, all Im saying is the kid aint exactly no killer!Don Lino: My Lenny is a killer, you hear me? A cold-blooded killer! Look at him![Lenny wiggles around on a bar stool]

— Shark Tale 2004 you

Lenny: SHHH! He could still be out there!Oscar: Who?Lenny: The Shark Slayer...[Oscar laughs]Oscar: Theres no Shark Slayer.Lenny: Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha, yes there is!Oscar: Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha, no there is NOT! Trust me on this one!Oscar: Get a grip, man! This is no time to act crazy!Oscar: Youre the one acting crazy, crazy!

— Shark Tale 2004 time

Sykes: Now I have to pay Don Lino protection, so everything you owe me, you owe him!Oscar: How do you figure that?Sykes: Simple - the food chain![Pulls out chart]Sykes: On top theres Don Lino, theres me, theres regular fish...Oscar: And thats me!Sykes: No. Theres plankton, theres single-celled amoebas...Oscar: And then me!Sykes: Im getting there, Im getting there... Theres coral, theres rocks, theres whale poop, and then theres you.Oscar: Thats messed up.

— Shark Tale 2004 art

Don Lino: I tell you whats what, and what?Sykes: What?Don Lino: What what?Sykes: What what nothin. You said what first.Don Lino: I didnt say what first.Sykes: You said and then what? and I said what?Don Lino: No, I said What, what? as in What, what?[pause]Sykes: ...You said what first.

— Shark Tale 2004 you

Oscar: Sykes, shut up! SHUT UP!Sykes: Hey, thats good. Thats good, I like that! Shut up, Lino! Ha! Shut up. Oh, kid, he wants to talk to you.Oscar: [Whispers] No. Im not here. Im not here!Sykes: Yeah, hes right here.Oscar: [Sykes gives shellphone to Oscar] Hello?Don Lino: [on phone with Oscar] Shut up? Shut up? You dont tell *me* shut up, I tell *you* shut up!Don Lino: [hears phone dialing]Don Lino: What?Luca: Hi, how you doing? Ill have a large pie, everything on it, anchovies, meatballs, mushrooms...Don Lino: Luca!Luca: Oh... Uh, hi, Boss! Whatre you doing working at a pizza joint?Don Lino: [shouts] Get off the phone!Luca: But Im hungry.[hangs up]Don Lino: [sighs] My guys are coming for you, Sharkslayer. Theyre going to tear you fin from fin!

— Shark Tale 2004 work

Great White #2: [looking at Lenny when they think hes a dolphin] Look, hes got dolphin muscle!Great White #3: My Uncle Vito got whacked by one of those!

— Shark Tale 2004 think

Ernie: [pretending to be Lola, put mustard and ketchup on a hot dog on a stick so it looks like a face] Youre a nobody!Bernie: [pretending to be Oscar, also put mustard and ketchup on a hot dog on a stick so it looks like a face] No wait! Lola! Im not a nobody! Im a weiner!

— Shark Tale 2004 body

Ernie: Hello, Sykes Whale Wash; And the price...[Sees Don Lino chasing Oscar]Ernie: OH MY GOSH!Bernie: Hey, you got it right.

— Shark Tale 2004 sin

Bernie: [Ernie just lost at the Sharkslayer videogame] Youre not doing it right! I told you!Ernie: Im doing it!Bernie: X, circle, X X, double left square, right trigger down, square, square.Ernie: Oh, double square! Respect!Bernie: Respect!

— Shark Tale 2004 respect

Katie Current: Are they gone? Are they gone?... Are you sure?... Good morning, Southeast Reef! This is Katie Current keeping it current! I just received confirmation that the sharks are gone. I repeat, the sharks are gone.

— Shark Tale 2004 good

Oscar: Any shark that comes around in Oscar town is going down! I get poetic! In the heat I get poetic!

— Shark Tale 2004 poet

Oscar: Well, for your information, I am the Sharkslayer. Thats what theyre callin me.Lenny: Wait a minute. You mean when the...Oscar: Uh-huh.Lenny: And then you...[gasps]Lenny: Oh, youre a liar!

— Shark Tale 2004 you

[Don Lino gets wedged in a porthole while chasing Oscar]Don Lino: [calling after Oscar] Youre gonna regret the day you became the Shark Slayer![the Shrimp appears in another porthole]Shrimp: Well, well, well... look whos stuck in the porthole...Don Lino: Huh?Shrimp: You still hungry, big guy? Well, say hello to my little friends![a bunch of shrimps appear and attack Lino]

— Shark Tale 2004 friends

Angie: Sometimes, I wanna take your big, dumb, dummy head, and just... nyhhhh![makes pounding motions]

— Shark Tale 2004 time

[Oscar has just prised his way out of a sharks jaw and is striking a manly pose for the crowds]Oscar: Are you not entertained?[the crowd cheers]Oscar: You cant handle the truth![the crowd cheers]Oscar: You had me at hello![the crowd cheers; Angie especially raises an eyebrow]

— Shark Tale 2004 truth

Angie: Okay, somebody needs to get me out of the bubble. TODAY.

— Shark Tale 2004 body

Shortie #1: You so broke your bologna has no first name.

— Shark Tale 2004 you

Oscar: Now which one of yall sardines called this here meeting?Don Lino: That would be me.[slams the door, making Sykes, Oscar and Lenny cringe a little]Don Lino: So, this is the Shark Slayer. Ive been looking forward to meeting you. I feel like were practically family, you know? Funny, aint it? I brought my sons into the world, full of love and care. And then you took them out. Do you know who I am? DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? Im the Don, the boss of the Great White Sharks!Luca: Hey boss, I saved you a seat!

— Shark Tale 2004 love

[while Don Lino talks to Sykes, the music record slips]Don Lino: LUCA![Luca fixes the record, but accidentally sets it to play Baby Got Back. Lino and Sykes stare at Luca, who quickly puts the record off]Luca: Hey, boss... big butts. Ha ha.Don Lino: Oy vey...

— Shark Tale 2004 music

Lenny: [quietly] Echo. Echo.[little louder]Lenny: Now batting in for the Southside Sharks, Number 15...[Oscar hits Lenny]Lenny: Ow, its not okay to hit.

— Shark Tale 2004

Oscar: All right, I totally betrayed you, but before we work this out I got a small thing to take care of...Angie: Oh, yeah? Whats that?Oscar: SHARKS... ARE COMING... TO GET ME!Angie: And they should! What did you expect? You just take credit for killing a shark and then everything would be fine and dandy for the rest of your life?Oscar: Uh... yeah. But dont worry. Me and Lenny, were gonna take care of this...Lenny: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whats with the we? I dont want any part of this?Oscar: Hey, too late now, Veggie Boy, theyll be looking for you too!Lenny: Point taken. Whats the plan?

— Shark Tale 2004 life

Oscar: Ernie! Bernie! My jellyfish brothers! Booyakah!

— Shark Tale 2004 ya

Shrimp: [trying to sob his way out of being eaten] Its true, its true! And the other thing is, my sister had a baby and I took it over after she passed away and the baby lost all its legs and arms and now its just a stump but I take care of it with my wife and... and its growing and its fairly happy... and its difficult because Im working a second shift at the factory to put food on the table but all the love that I see in that little guys face it makes it worth it in the end. True story.

— Shark Tale 2004 love

Oscar: [answering the phone] Hello, whos this?Luca: Hi, this is Luca the Octopu... never mind. Just listen up and follow these instructions, to the letter like. File cabinet, bottom drawer, theres a package...[Oscar opens the package to find the necklace he gave Angie... ]Luca: Thats right, tough guy. We got your girl. Now theres gonna be a sit-down - be there if you dont wanna see her sleeping with the fishes...[thinks this statement over]Oscar: ...the DEAD ones! Now nod your head if you understand.[Oscar nods his head]Luca: Now tell me if you nodded your head.Oscar: I nodded.[Luca hangs up]

— Shark Tale 2004 mind

Katie Current: The Shark Slayer has done it again, this time luring two sharks into his death trap of hygiene!

— Shark Tale 2004 death

Katie Current: Youve lost everything youve lied so hard to achieve.

— Shark Tale 2004 you

Giuseppe: Its a terrible thing. Everyone loved Frankie. May whoever did this die a thousand deaths. May his stinking, maggot-covered corpse rot in the fiery depths of Hell.Don Lino: Thank you for your kind thoughts, Guiseppe.

— Shark Tale 2004 love

Frankie: [dying] Lenny, is that you?Lenny: Im here, Frankie.Frankie: Come closer.Lenny: What is it, Frankie?Frankie: I feel so cold.Lenny: Thats just because were cold-blooded.[Frankie slaps Lenny]Lenny: Ow!Frankie: Moron.[dies]

— Shark Tale 2004 dying

Oscar: Im a nobody - I want some of that!Angie: [mischievously] Mrs. Sanchez?Oscar: What? Ewww, no!

— Shark Tale 2004 body

Don Feinberg: He come out of nowhere, this guy. Calls himself...[turns around with a flourish]Don Feinberg: The Shark Slayer!Don Lino: [behind him] Ira, over here...[Feinberg turns to face Lino]Don Feinberg: [makes the flourish again] The Shark Slayer!Don Lino: Where do I find him?Don Feinberg: He lives on the South Side. Thats all we could dig up.

— Shark Tale 2004 self

Don Lino: Hey, Luca... Get Sykes. He knows that Reef better than anybody. I want to know all about this guy. I want to know what he does. I want to know where he eats. I want to know where he sleeps. He pops a gill, I want to know about it. Who is the Shark Slayer?

— Shark Tale 2004 sleep

[first lines][a shark slowly approaches a worm, who frantically struggles to get free of his line... ]Lenny: Hi, Im Lenny.[the worm faints]Lenny: Ooh! Little buddy, did I scare you?

— Shark Tale 2004 you

Sykes: [on the phone] Thats right, Lino! The Shark Slayer hired me as his agent! So Im now, what I like to call, UNTOUCHABLE! And another thing - from now on youre gonna start paying ME protection!

— Shark Tale 2004 art

Shortie #1: Lets go make Mr Sykes puff up!

— Shark Tale 2004

[staging a mock fight]Oscar: Listen to them, Lenny! They love us!Lenny: They love YOU, they hate me!

— Shark Tale 2004 love

Oscar: Yo that was crazy, right? Who knew? I mean its all set, we good to go, we had the money. And he trips underwater. Who in the hell-o-but trips underwater? And by the way, on what?

— Shark Tale 2004 money

Ernie: Oscar!Bernie: Did you kill that shark?Oscar: Yeah, Yeah. Exactly how it looked; thats how it is.

— Shark Tale 2004 you

Lola: The only thing I like more than money is... revenge.

— Shark Tale 2004 money

Lenny: Mom says its not okay to hit![Frankie slaps Lenny]Frankie: Moms not here!

— Shark Tale 2004

Angie: You dont have to live at the top of the reef to be somebody.

— Shark Tale 2004 live

Oscar: He trips underwater. Now who in the halibut trips underwater? And by the way, on what?

— Shark Tale 2004 water

Lola: Deep down, Im really superficial.

— Shark Tale 2004 real

Oscar: You dig, dawg?Lenny: Dig dawg... , dawg dig, dig dawg, yeah, yo diggy dog!

— Shark Tale 2004 you

Lenny: Here I come! Ta-da! Im Sebastian! The whale washing dolphin![makes clicking noises]

— Shark Tale 2004

Oscar: [riding Lenny] Yippee-ki-yay...!

— Shark Tale 2004 ya

Oscar: Im not really a shark slayer... I lied.Crazy Joe: [remorseful] And Im not a financial advisor!

— Shark Tale 2004 crazy

Sykes: My brother, my player, the shark-slayer!

— Shark Tale 2004 play

Ernie: [on the phone] Sykes Whale Wash! You get a whale of a wash and the price... eh... is really, really low, considering how good the wash is.Sykes: Its oh my gosh! You get a whale of a wash, and the price, oh my gosh!Ernie: Got it![the phone rings, and Ernie answers it]Ernie: Whale wash!Bernie: Rhymes with gosh![both laugh]Sykes: [chasing the brothers off] Get out of here, you two! Go be useless someplace else!

— Shark Tale 2004 good

Crazy Joe: [stops closing credits] Hey! Hey, you see this guy here?[taps crew member name]Crazy Joe: He hardly worked on the film at all! Always on the phone - yakking, yakking, yakking!

— Shark Tale 2004 work

Oscar: Sometimes I just be coughing for nothin!

— Shark Tale 2004 time

Oscar: And you tell Don LAME-o that I dont never, ever, ever, ever, never ever want to see another shark in this reef again! Ever! Remember this name: Oscar the Sharkslayer!

— Shark Tale 2004 you

Crazy Joe: [during closing credits] Man! Did you see whats playing next door? Woo-hoo! Kinky!

— Shark Tale 2004 man

Katie Current: Oscar, are you going to continue working at the wash?Oscar: Please, I barely work here now.

— Shark Tale 2004 work

Angie: [about Lenny] What were you THINKING, bringing him here?Oscar: Well... Im still working out the kinks...Angie: Kinks? You LIED! Everybody thinks you slayed the shark!Oscar: Well, who am I to tell them that theyre wrong?Oscar: How could you lie to me, Oscar? ME?Oscar: Dont take it personal, Angie! Come on, I lied to EVERYBODY!

— Shark Tale 2004 work

Sykes: Ernie! Bernie! I want you to find the deepest, darkest hole in the ocean, and when you do, dig deeper and put him in it!

— Shark Tale 2004 dark

Shrimp: You got served!

— Shark Tale 2004 you

Oscar: Sykes! My brother from another mother!

— Shark Tale 2004 mother

Don Feinberg: [singing] I could fly high as an eagle, if you are the wind beneath my wings...

— Shark Tale 2004 sin

Oscar: AHHH! Okay, everybody go home to your loved ones - spend the last few hours that you have with each other![Everyone stares at him]Oscar: Oh, I mean... thats the way it used to be. Wed be scrambling around and stuff. But that was before Oscar came to town!

— Shark Tale 2004 love

Angie: Youre going way too far, Oscar!Lenny: Actually, he hasnt gone far enough...Oscar: Exactly!... what?

— Shark Tale 2004 you

Sykes: [on the phone, while watching Oscar slay Lenny on TV] I dont think you understand how huge my client is. Turn on your TV right now!Sykes: [still on phone and Oscar has been eaten by Lenny] Turn off the TV! Turn off your TV!Sykes: [still on phone and Oscar escapes Lennys mouth] Turn on your TV! What are you doing turning off your TV? Turn it back on!

— Shark Tale 2004 you

Lenny: Its all my fault, kinda, not really, but still...

— Shark Tale 2004 real

[Oscar kills Lenny]Lenny: Aaahhh! Curse you, Shark Slayer![falls into an abyss]

— Shark Tale 2004 you

Oscar: Sykes, the deal is off! That shark I killed was Don Linos SON!Sykes: I know! Aint that great?Oscar: Not if he finds out!

— Shark Tale 2004 great

Sykes: Whos your Puff Daddy? Who takes care of you, huh?

— Shark Tale 2004 you

[first words]Don Lino: [looking in an aquarium of piranha] How are my babies this morning? You miss me? You doing good, huh? Huh? You see, Sykes, its a fish-eat-fish world - you either take or you get TAKEN![drops a morsel into the aquarium and the fish fight over it]

— Shark Tale 2004 words

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