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Silicon Valley TV series

Patrice: He was very old and depressed. Hed recently been rescued from the circus, but as it turns out, he actually really loved performing.
— Silicon Valley TV series love
Javeed - Goolybib founder: Hello! Whoo! I got seven words for you: I love Goolybibs integrated multi platform functionality! Yeah! Whoo! ! But seriously, you know, a few days ago, when we were sitting down with Barack Obama, I turned to these guys and said, Ok, you know, were making a lot of money. And yes, were disrupting digital media. But most importantly were making the world a better place through constructing elegant hierarchies for maximum code reuse and extensibility.
— Silicon Valley TV series love
Gavin: What is Hooli? Excellent question. Hooli isnt just another high tech company. Hooli isnt just about software. HooliHooli is about people. Hooli is about innovative technology that makes a difference, transforming the world as we know it. Making the world a better place, through minimal message oriented transport layers. I firmly believe we can only achieve greatness if first we achieve goodness.
— Silicon Valley TV series war
Gavin: Its weird. They always travel in groups of five. These programmers, theres always a tall, skinny white guy; short, skinny Asian guy; fat guy with a ponytail; some guy with crazy facial hair; and then an East Indian guy. Its like they trade guys until they all have the right group.
— Silicon Valley TV series travel
Erlich: Richard, if youre not an asshole, it creates this kind of asshole vacuum, and that void is filled by other assholes, like Jared. I mean, you almost gave him shares. You need to completely change who you are, Richard. A complete teutonic shift has to happen.
— Silicon Valley TV series change
Richard: A tectonic shift is the earths crust moving around. Teutonic, which is what you just said, is an ancient Germanic tribe that fought the Romans. They were originally from Scandinavia
— Silicon Valley TV series art
Erlich: Stop it! Stop it. Youre being a complete tool right now. I need you to be a complete asshole.
— Silicon Valley TV series you
Gilfoyle: I mean, come on, Richard. As far as Pied Piper is concerned, hes as pointless as Mass Effect 3s multiple endings. I mean, hes a completely useless appendage and we all know it.
— Silicon Valley TV series age
Erlich: We don’t. And when Keith finds that out, it’s going to be a very valuable business lesson for him.
— Silicon Valley TV series business
Belson: If we can make your audio and video files smaller, we can make cancer smaller. And hunger. And AIDS.
— Silicon Valley TV series you
Dinesh: It looks like a guy sucking a dick, with another dick tucked behind his ear for later. Like a snack dick.
— Silicon Valley TV series wit
Dunn: Hey, Dinesh. Dinesh. Im on the phone with the bank and they say they need an extra form for your payroll, because of your visa?
— Silicon Valley TV series you
Gilfoyle: Your borders are merely a construct. I prefer to think of myself as a citizen of the world.
— Silicon Valley TV series world
Gilfoyle: Yes, I mind. And also I may not be. To wit, maybe you could make out my checks to cash? Or bitcoin.
— Silicon Valley TV series mind
Dinesh: I half-jokingly said to Gilfoyle last night it looks like Richard’s gonna suck Erlich’s dick. But that would be reasonable compared to this.
— Silicon Valley TV series reason
Hendriks: I always knew I was missing something, and then when someone explained the concept of ‘game’ I remember very distinctly thinking ‘That’s what I don’t have.’
— Silicon Valley TV series thinking
Erlich: I’m already smiling, do you really have to paint me giving the thumbs-up? It’s gratuitous.
— Silicon Valley TV series pain
Doctor: I don’t know how you did it, but you essentially aged 40 years in the last seven weeks. We had a meth addict in here this morning who was biologically younger than you are, and he’s 58. Myspace guy.
— Silicon Valley TV series age
Gilfoyle: So if you just dont think about it, it really doesnt bother you to be staring at the screen when the cars moving and turning and youre all queasy
— Silicon Valley TV series you
Erlich: Dont worry, hes not gonna find out. I left way before he got back last night, and I didnt go back this morning until twenty minutes after hed left.
— Silicon Valley TV series night
Erlich: Because shed have to be crazy to tell him, and I asked her point-blank if she was crazy, and she swore to me, no, shes not crazy.
— Silicon Valley TV series crazy
Erlich: We have to act like any animal thats been cornered, acting erratically and blindly lashing out at anything around us.
— Silicon Valley TV series
Erlich: Let me ask you. How fast do you think you could jerk off every guy in this room? Because I know how long it would take me. And I can prove it.
— Silicon Valley TV series you
Gavin: I dont know about you people, but I dont want to live in a world where someone else makes the world a better place better than we do.
— Silicon Valley TV series people
Noah: Now, Pied Piper, youve conceded on all of these minor counts. Accordingly, on the count of wrongful solicitation, I find Richard Hendricks did indeed breach his contract with Hooli when he hired away a Hooli employee, one Donald Dunn, a.k.a. Jared, a.k.a. O.J., apparently. But this is where things get interesting. Mr. Belson, there is language in this contract that the California Supreme Court has deemed unlawful. Preventing Mr. Dunn from seeking employment elsewhere is a violation of his rights. Are you aware of this?
— Silicon Valley TV series war
Noah: Well, heres the thing. This clause was unlawful when you included it in Mr. Hendricks employment agreement.
— Silicon Valley TV series men
Noah: See, again, I dont think you understand. If Mr. Hendricks hadnt hired Mr. Dunn, or you hadnt pursued him for that hire, Im not sure I wouldve noticed the violation. But you did, so I did.
— Silicon Valley TV series you
Noah: And what I find is, this is an unenforceable contract. It is null and void. So effectively, Mr. Hendricks never had a valid employment agreement with Hooli. As a result, Hooli has no claim of ownership to Pied Pipers underlying IP. That is my ruling, and per your arbitration agreement, it is binding and final. Thank you, everyone.
— Silicon Valley TV series men
Pete: Richard, not long ago, emergency workers pulled me out of the flaming wreckage of my Mercury Grand Marquis. Today, you pulled me out of the flaming wreckage of my life, and those flames burned far hotter. For that, I thank you.
— Silicon Valley TV series life
Pete: I used to take a tampon, soak it in grain alcohol, and stick it up into my rectum. That got me high, Richard, but not half as high as the drug you just gave me. You know what that drugs called?
— Silicon Valley TV series drugs
Erlich: You guys taking it all in? Because this is what it looks like when Google acquires your company for over 200 million dollars.
— Silicon Valley TV series you
Gavin: If we can make your audio and video files smaller, we can make cancer smaller. And hunger. And AIDS.
— Silicon Valley TV series you
Pete: Was I in possession of cocaine, amphetamines, amyl nitrite, also known as poppers at the time of my arrest? In large quantities. Did I have consensual intercourse with two women under the age of eighteen? Repeatedly. I admit this. Did I violate the Mann Act and transport them across state lines for sexual purposes? Alleged, but not proven. And boy they tried, they tried. Therefore, I was incarcerated and I was disbarred.
— Silicon Valley TV series women
Pete: Not in open court. In the state of California thats correct, but this is arbitration. Im really grateful for the opportunity. Im turning my life around. Ive served my time. Questions?
— Silicon Valley TV series life
Erlich: Anal dilation aside, what do you think of uh, our case? Could we go in there and just dick slap those Hooli pieces of shit?
— Silicon Valley TV series you
Pete: I do, every day of my life. Its only by his grace that I was able to survive that plunge into the ravine in 11 months in a state penitentiary.
— Silicon Valley TV series life
Pete: Both. Now, with your approval, I would like to move forward. I, am not in possession of an office, and Im residing in a halfway house, so I would like to give Hooli Legal your home address.
— Silicon Valley TV series war
Server Farm Guy: Your sales representative promised 24-hour-a-day, on-site maintenance at least for the first year.
— Silicon Valley TV series present
Erlich: Its a wide spoon. In fact, the only spoon type that is left in this drawer. I specifically posted a note on the refrigerator saying that the more narrow spoons be reserved for the eating of Fage yogurt by me. Look at this the angles all wrong.
— Silicon Valley TV series age
Gilfoyle: I tried to make it slow. I really did. But Im not Dinesh. Its very difficult for me to do shitty work.
— Silicon Valley TV series work
Jack Barker: Take a look at the Conjoined Triangles of Success. Now, what do those two triangles make together?
— Silicon Valley TV series success

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