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Simon Cowell

Sit in these auditions for three weeks and hear I Believe I Can Fly out of tune for the millionth time, YOU try and be nice

— Simon Cowell time

Women say hello and then put their hands down my trousers. I thought it was my hand they were supposed to shake.

— Simon Cowell women

Being romantic is being insincere, or youre guilty.

— Simon Cowell man

It is a personal thrill for me to play a role in giving the best young singers in America a shot at realizing their dreams. Im also happy to be working with my good friend Simon Fuller for the foreseeable future and I look forward to continuing to be a part of the Fox network and the phenomenal success that is American Idol.

— Simon Cowell success

Not everybody is perfect, and I dont think we should be looking for perfect people.

— Simon Cowell people

I think weve got better talent than last year. There are two or three contestants, even without the competition, we would take seriously as a record label. If I dont find an international artist this year, then I will have failed. That is the one thing that interests me.

— Simon Cowell art

I like the fact that theyre cocky now from the age of four.

— Simon Cowell age

I havent done anything particularly harsh. Harshness to me is giving somebody false hopes and not following through. Thats harsh. Telling some guy or some girl whove got zero talent that they have zero talent actually is a kindness.

— Simon Cowell hope

Big Brother is not reality anymore. You dont get 10 normal people to do it. You get 10 crap actors in the house.

— Simon Cowell people

If youve got a big mouth and youre controversial, youre going to get attention.

— Simon Cowell you

I cant bear political correctness. I dont like a rule driven life and I hate the fact that you cant criticise a fat person.

— Simon Cowell life

If I were gay, why wouldnt I admit it? Plenty of people in the record industry are gay, and my mother wouldnt freak out.

— Simon Cowell people

To me, Botox is no more unusual than toothpaste. It works, you do it once a year, who cares?

— Simon Cowell work

Last year, my agent rang me and said, Youve been offered an incredibly big deal. Its to be the face of Viagra. And I just said, Sorry, but that has to be a fucking insult.

— Simon Cowell age

For me, Il Divo was the best thing I had ever heard.

— Simon Cowell best

I sell more records than Bruce Springsteen... If he got 100, I should have got 500. In the last five years, Ive probably sold over 100 million records.By doing Idol I signed the biggest artist on the planet and its called Idol because every single Idol winner is now signed through Sony BMG.

— Simon Cowell art

If I tape an 11 hour day, guess which parts end up on air. Not the bits when Im pleasant but the parts when Im obnoxious.

— Simon Cowell art

Normally, they want me to be rude to them. People come up to me and sing, and I say That was great. Thank you. And theyre like Well, arent you going to be rude to me? No! When I miss auditions, contestants get upset that Im not there, because they expect me to be cruel to them...its some sort of badge of honor. Thats how crazy everything is.

— Simon Cowell people

If you would have asked me what I thought of America before I came over here I would have used the word corny. And then you come over here and you find that its not corny at all. British people are very cynical, they cannot bear someone elses success. Americans embrace other peoples success. Everything in America is larger than life.

— Simon Cowell life

I dont want babies the same way I wouldnt want a puppy. Its too much responsibility.

— Simon Cowell responsibility

I dont take myself seriously and I dont consider myself a star.

— Simon Cowell self

I do a couple of hundred press-ups a day but I havent been to a gym in years.

— Simon Cowell day

I dont think I can do this anymore.

— Simon Cowell think

I have always hated celebrities lecturing people on politics. So forgive me. But I am passionate about this country. I am equally passionate about the potential of the people who live here.

— Simon Cowell politics

I have seen that the American Dream is a reality - and I would love to feel the British Dream is also a reality. To enable that, we have to bring back some common sense and encourage family values, a proper sense of justice and make people believe they have a decent chance to build a business or career for themselves. I see this moment as a fantastic opportunity to restore this, because I believe Britain Has Talent.

— Simon Cowell love

I met someone the other night whos 28 years old, and he hasnt worked a day since he left college because hes pursuing a dream hell never, ever realize: He thinks hes a great singer. Actually, hes crap.

— Simon Cowell work

I think that by ignoring the show youre ignoring the audience who put you there.

— Simon Cowell you

I think you have to judge everything based on your personal taste. And if that means being critical, so be it. I hate political correctness. I absolutely loathe it.

— Simon Cowell hate

If I said to most of the people who auditioned, Good job, awesome, well done, it would have made me actually look and feel ridiculous. Its quite obvious most of the people who turned up for this audition were hopeless.

— Simon Cowell hope

If we had to choose one American Idol to go out to dinner with, it would be Fantasia. There are no airs and graces about her... I like her.

— Simon Cowell grace

If your lifeguard duties were as good as your singing, a lot of people would be drowning.

— Simon Cowell life

My attitude is, if someones going to criticize me, tell me to my face.

— Simon Cowell attitude

My proudest achievement has been the success of the shows and artists I have been involved with, because they were made in Britain.

— Simon Cowell success

Shave off your beard and wear a dress. You would be a great female impersonator.

— Simon Cowell you

The end of the animal trade would leave more time to trap or beat to death pop star wannabes.

— Simon Cowell death

The object of this competition is not to be mean to the losers but to find a winner. The process makes you mean because you get frustrated.

— Simon Cowell you

We have hated the French for years. Now you have just joined the club. It makes you much more likable.

— Simon Cowell hate

When I was young and we got caught pinching apples, we got a smack from the local policeman. Today if that happened he would be sued. There is a tendency to punish the victim, not the criminal. If someone broke into my house or my mums house, I worry that the burglar has more rights than me.

— Simon Cowell man

Whether they run a record company or a grocery store, every boss will tell you youre in big trouble if youre borrowing more than you can ever afford to pay back. Delaying the pain for future generations is suicidal. Weve got to start getting the deficit down right now, not next year.

— Simon Cowell art

You are a saucy little thing arent you?

— Simon Cowell you

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