Snatch film

Thats Doug the Head. Everybody knows Doug the Head. If its stones and its stolen, hes the man to speak to. Pretends hes Jewish. Wishes he was Jewish. Even tells his family theyre Jewish, but hes about as Jewish as he is a fucking monkey. He thinks its good for business. And in the diamond business, it is good for business.

Ever crossed the road and looked the wrong way? And hey presto, a cars nearly on you, so what do you do? You freeze. And your life doesnt flash before your eyes, cause youre too fucking scared to think – you just freeze, and pull a stupid face. The pikey didnt – why? Because he had plans on running the car over.

— Snatch film life

It had previously occurred to me that the pikey had taken the demise of his mother rather lightly. For every action, there is a reaction. And a pikey reactionis quite a fucking thing.

— Snatch film light

Listen here, you fucking fringe. If I throw a dog a bone, I dont want to know if it tastes good or not. You stop me again whilst Im talking, and Ill cut your fucking jacobs off.

— Snatch film good

Do you know what nemesis means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an orrible cunt me.

— Snatch film man

So, youre obviously the big dick. And there on either side of you are your balls. There are two types of balls. There are big, brave balls, and there are little, mincy faggot balls. You dicks have driving clarity of vision. But theyre not clever; they smell pussy, and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good ol pussy, and have brought your two little, mincey, faggot balls along for a good ol time. But youve got your parties muddled up. Theres no pussy here- just a dose that will make you wish you were born a women. Like a prick, youre having second thoughts. Youre shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with ya. And the fact that youve got Replica written on the side of your guns. And the fact that Ive got Desert Eagle .50 written on the side of mine, should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now fuck off!

— Snatch film women

Now look, she wants the Heki 2 roof lights, uh, the stylish ash frame furniture, and the scatter cushions with, uh, matching shag pile cover. Yeah. Right. And shes terrible partial to the periwinkle blue boss.

— Snatch film art

Franky Four Fingers: So the Biblical scholars mistranslated the Hebrew word for young woman into the Greek word for virgin. It was an easy mistake to make, since there is only a subtle difference in the spelling. But it was the virgin that caught peoples attention. Its not every day a virgin conceives and bears a son. So you keep that for a couple of hundred years, and the next thing you know, you have the Holy Catholic Church. Oy vey.

— Snatch film people

For comedic effect, all of the characters lines are spoken with a thick Irish Traveller accent, slurred together, and spoken very quickly.

— Snatch film travel

Turkish: Its an unlicensed boxing match, Tommy. Its not a tickling competition. These lads are out to hurt each other.

— Snatch film hurt

Turkish: Protection from what? Zee Germans? Whats to stop it from blowing your bollocks off every time you sit down?

— Snatch film time

Brick Top: Id like my fights to finish prompt so we can get the punters out before the authorities find out. Now, play your cards right, and Ill sort you out.

— Snatch film author

Franky Four Fingers: I have stones to sell, fat to chew, and many different men to see about many different dogs, so if I am not rushing you

— Snatch film men

Mickey: Ey Ma, come and look at the size of this fella. Bet you can box a lil, cant ya, sir? Ah, you look lak a boxer.

— Snatch film ya

Mickey: The deal was you bought it like you saw it. Hey, look, Ive helped you as much as Im going to help you. See that car? Just use it, for youre not welcome anymore. You should fuck off now while you still got the legs to carry you.

— Snatch film you

Mickey: Nobody brings a fella the size of you unless theyre trying to say something without talking, right?

— Snatch film body

Mickey: Why the fuck do I want a caravan thats got no fucking wheels? You want to settle this with a fight?

— Snatch film fight

Mrs. ONeil: Over my dead body! Now, go on! Go on! Ill not have you fighting, Mickey! You know what happens when you fight.

— Snatch film body

Sol: A moissanite is an artificial diamond, Lincoln. Its Mickey Mouse, mate. Spurious. Not genuine. And its worthfuck all.

— Snatch film art

Turkish: You put Gorgeous George into a fight with a gypsy bare-knuckle boxing champion? What did you expect? A grease-down and a shiatsu?

— Snatch film fight

Brick Top: Well, whered ya lose him? Hes aint a set of car keys, is he? And its not as if hes incon-fucking-spicuous, now, is it?

— Snatch film ya

Vinny: Its a four ton truck, Tyrone. Its not as though its a packet of fucking peanuts, now, is it?

— Snatch film

Turkish: I fail to recognise the correlation between losing 10 K, hospitalising Gorgeous and a good deal. How are we gonna explain this to Brick Top? That his fight isnt gonna happen?

— Snatch film good

Avi: And this schmuck is gambling? Youre talking about Franky Ive got a problem with gambling fucking Four Fingers, Doug!

— Snatch film you

Avi: Well, youre plenty fucking stupid, Ill give you that. Do you have any idea why they call him Franky Four Fingers, Doug?

— Snatch film you

Avi: Well, because he makes stupid bets with dangerous people, and when he doesnt pay up, they give him the chop, Doug! And Im not talking about his fucking foreskin either!

— Snatch film people

Turkish: Hare coursing. They set two lurchers – theyre dogs, before you ask – on a hare. And the hare has to outrun the dogs.

— Snatch film sin

Mickey: The fight is twice the size. And me ma still needs a caravan. I like to look after me ma. Its a fair deal. Take it.

— Snatch film fight

Turkish: Mickey, youre lucky we arent worm food after your last performance. Buying a tarts mobile palace is a little fucking rich.

— Snatch film art

Mickey: Save your breath for cooling your porridge. Now look: She wants the Hector-2 roof lights, uh the stylish ash-framed furniture and the scatter cushions with the matching shag pile covering.

— Snatch film light

Turkish: Yeah, thats perfectly clear, Mickey, yeah. Just give me one minute to confer with my colleague.

— Snatch film wit

Turkish: Well, why didnt you bust a cap in his ass, then, Tommy? Mind you, youd do more damage if you threw it at him.

— Snatch film mind

Turkish: No, Tommy, I wasnt saying you cant shoot. I know you cant shoot. What were saying is that six pound piece of shit stuck in your pants would do more damage if you fed it to him.

— Snatch film age

Avi: Blagged? Tony, speak English. I thought this country spawned the fucking language, and so far nobody seems to speak it.

— Snatch film language

Bad Boy Lincoln: Whatd you do that for? You mistake him for a rabbit? Whatd you want me to do about it?

— Snatch film you

Sol: But you are a bad-boy yardie, and bad-boy yardies are supposed to know how to get rid of bodies.

— Snatch film ya

Brick Top: Youre always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently, the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.

— Snatch film problems

Brick Top: And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because its no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now, is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you dont want to go sievin through pig shit, now, do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression: as greedy as a pig.

— Snatch film war

Vinny: Wellthank you for that. Thats a real weight off me mind. Now, I mean, wouldnt you mind telling me exactly who the fuck you are, apart from someone who feeds people to pigs, of course.

— Snatch film art

Brick Top: Do you know what nemesis means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an orrible cunt: me.

— Snatch film man

Bullet Tooth Tony: What do you know? Still warm, the blood that courses through my veins. Unlike yours, Mullet.

— Snatch film war

Bullet Tooth Tony: I will do you a favor, Mullet. Ill not get out of the car and bash the living fuck out of you in front of your girlfriends.

— Snatch film friends

Bullet Tooth Tony: Comfortable, Mullet? It seems sadly ironic that its that tie that got you into this pickle. Now, you just take all the time you want.

— Snatch film time

Bullet Tooth Tony: Driving down the street with your head stuck in my window. What do you think Im doing, you pinarse?

— Snatch film you

Sol: They look the shit, dont they? And no one is going to argue. Ive got some extra loud blanks just in case.

— Snatch film

Tommy: Cows have only been domesticated for the last eight thousand years. Before that, they were running around mad as lorries. The human digestive system hasnt got used to dairy products yet.

— Snatch film man

Bullet Tooth Tony: Its a knife, for Gods sake. Whats you used to keep you fork company for all these years? The sharp side, the blunt side. What do you want, a lesson?

— Snatch film god

Sol: I dont want a fuss, and I dont want to put a bullet in your face, but unless you give me exactly what I want, there will be fucking murders.

— Snatch film murder

Bullet Tooth Tony: So, youre obviously the big dick. And that, on either side of you, are your balls. There are two types of balls. There are big, brave balls, and there are little mincey faggot balls.

— Snatch film you

Bullet Tooth Tony: Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but theyre not clever. They smell pussy, and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two small mincey faggot balls along for a good old time. But youve got your parties muddled up. Theres no pussy here, just a dose thatll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, youre having second thoughts. Youre shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with you. And the fact that youve got Replica written down the side of your guns, and the fact that Ive got Desert Eagle point-five-oh written on the side of mine, should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Nowfuck off.

— Snatch film time

Sol: You aint from this planet, are you, Vincent? Who is gonna mug two black fellas, holding pistols, sitting in a carthats worth less than your shirt?

— Snatch film you

Bullet Tooth Tony: You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity. Now, out the car. And leave the water pistols behind you.

— Snatch film you

Avi: You know what? Fuck you too. Go ahead and shoot me, youd be doing me a favor, you Russian fuck! Go ahead!

— Snatch film you

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