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spike milligan

Money can’t buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

— spike milligan happiness

My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.

— spike milligan father

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

— spike milligan body

It was a perfect marriage. She didn’t want to and he couldn’t.

— spike milligan marriage

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

— spike milligan

Money couldn’t buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

— spike milligan money

And God said, ’Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

— spike milligan god

I thought Id begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.

— Spike Milligan reading

This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows its meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in

— Spike Milligan fear

A man once asked to shake hands with me, the greatest Englishman who ever lived. I replied, F**k off, Im Irish.

— Spike Milligan man

Money cant buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

— Spike Milligan happiness

All I ask is a chance to prove that money cant make me happy

— Spike Milligan money

Money cant buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

— Spike Milligan money

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

— Spike Milligan race

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string.

— Spike Milligan wit

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombes singing until somebody told me that it wasnt a joke.

— Spike Milligan man

I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.

— Spike Milligan reading

Im a hero with cowards legs.

— Spike Milligan war

Im not afraid of dying I just dont want to be there when it happens.

— Spike Milligan dying

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, its all in perfect working order.

— Spike Milligan work

Its all in the mind, you know.

— Spike Milligan mind

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

— Spike Milligan sea

All I ask is the chance to prove that money cant make me happy.

— Spike Milligan money

And God said, Let there be light and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

— Spike Milligan god

It was a perfect marriage. She didnt want to and he couldnt.

— Spike Milligan marriage

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

— Spike Milligan beauty

Money couldnt buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy.

— Spike Milligan money

Money couldnt buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

— Spike Milligan money

And God said, Let there be light and there was light, but the Electricity Board said he would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

— Spike Milligan god

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

— Spike Milligan

The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up next week.

— Spike Milligan men

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.

— Spike Milligan friend

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

— Spike Milligan father

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