Terry Pratchett (Writer)

#12210 Terry Pratchett

, not , made us . .

Terry Pratchett
#12211 Terry Pratchett

The pen is mightier than theif the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp. ~ .

Terry Pratchett
#12213 Terry Pratchett

Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about imagination
#12214 Terry Pratchett

My programmingwas solder. .

Terry Pratchett
#12215 Terry Pratchett

No, I happen to be one of those people whoseshuts down under pressure. The answers would come to me in the middle of the night in my sleep! Besides, I am a millionaire. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about people
#12216 Terry Pratchett

In ancient timeswere worshiped as gods; they have not forgotten this. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about god
#12217 Terry Pratchett

As they say in Discworld, we are trying to unravel the Mighty Infinite using a language which was designed to tell one another where the fresh fruit was. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about world
#12218 Terry Pratchett

, eh? Must be accurate then! .

Terry Pratchett
#12219 Terry Pratchett

doesn't happen in chapters — at least, not regular ones. Nor do movies.didn't write in chapters. I can see what their purpose is in children's books ("I'll read to the end of the chapter, and then you must go to sleep") but I'm blessed if I know what function they serve in books for adults. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about books
#12220 Terry Pratchett

As for ... I suspect it'll never get a US publication. It seemed to frighten US publishers. They don't seem to understand it. That seems to point up a significant difference between Europeans and Americans:A European says: I can't understand this, what's wrong with me? An American says: I can't understand this, what's wrong with him? I make no suggestion that one side or other is right, but observation over many years leads me to believe it is true. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about man
#12221 Terry Pratchett

The space between the young readers eyeballs and the printed page is a holy place and officialdom should trample all over it at their peril. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about age
#12222 Terry Pratchett

I dare say that quite a few people have contemplated death for reasons that much later seemed to them to be quite minor. If we are to live in a world where a socially acceptable "early death" can be allowed, it must be allowed as a result of careful consideration. Let us consider me as a test case. As I have said, I would like to die peacefully withon my iPod before the disease takes me over and I hope that will not be for quite some time to come, because if I knew that I could die at any time I wanted, then suddenly every day would be as precious as a million pounds. If I knew that I could die, I would live. My life, my death, my choice. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about life
#12223 Terry Pratchett

I don't like the place at all. It's all wrong. An imposition on the Landscape... .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about wrong
#12224 Terry Pratchett

I save about twenty drafts — that's ten meg of disc space — and the last one contains all the final alterations. Once it has been printed out and received by the publishers, there's a cry here of 'Tough shit, literary researchers of the future, try getting a proper job!' and the rest are wiped. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about future
#12225 Terry Pratchett

I keep vaguely wondering what Macs are like, but the ones I've seen spend too much time being friendly. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about time
#12226 Terry Pratchett

Never trust any complicated cocktail that remains perfectly clear until the last ingredient goes in, and then immediately clouds. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about trust
#12227 Terry Pratchett

"Educational" refers to the process, not the object. Although, come to think of it, some of my teachers could easily have been replaced by a cheeseburger. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about think
#12228 Terry Pratchett

I don't like the place at all. It's all wrong. An imposition on the Landscape. I reckon that Stonehenge was build by the contemporary equivalent of Microsoft, whereas Avebury was definitely an Apple circle. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about contemporary
#12229 Terry Pratchett

, as you know, never got round to starting his home page. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about art
#12230 Terry Pratchett

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until , no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon... .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about death
#12231 Terry Pratchett

'They can ta'k our lives but they can never ta'k our freedom!' Now there's a battle cry not designed by a clear thinker... .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about freedom
#12232 Terry Pratchett

There should be a notice ahead of the movie that says 'This movie is PG. Can you read? You are a Parent. Do you understand what Guidance is? Or are you just another stupid toddler who thinks they're an adult simply because they've grown older and, unfortunately, have developed fully-functioning sexual organs? Would you like some committee somewhere to decide *everything* for you? Get a damn grip, will you? And shut the wretched kid up !' .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about sex
#12233 Terry Pratchett

While a book has got to be worthwhile from the point of view of the reader it's got to be worthwhile from the point of view of the writer as well. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about book
#12234 Terry Pratchett

It's amazing how fast gold works. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about work
#12235 Terry Pratchett

Oh dear, I'm feeling political today. It's just that it's dawned on me that 'zero tolerance' only seems to mean putting extra police in poor, run-down areas, and not in the Stock Exchange. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about change
#12236 Terry Pratchett

Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about universe
#12237 Terry Pratchett

I once absent-mindedly ordered Three Mile Island dressing in a restaurant and, with great presence of mind, they brought Thousand Island Dressing and a bottle of chili sauce .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about mind
#12238 Terry Pratchett

Oh, come on. Revelation was a mushroom dream that belonged in the Apocrypha. The New Testament is basically about what happened when God got religion .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about religion
#12239 Terry Pratchett

What your soldier wants -- really, really wants -- is no-one shooting back at him. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about you
#12240 Terry Pratchett

You can’t make people happy by law. If you said to a bunch of average people two hundred years ago “Would you be happy in a world where medical care is widely available, houses are clean, the world’s music and sights and foods can be brought into your home at small cost, traveling even 100 miles is easy, childbirth is generally not fatal to mother or child, you don’t have to die of dental abcesses and you don’t have to do what the squire tells you” they’d think you were talking about the New Jerusalem and say ‘yes’. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about music
#12241 Terry Pratchett

A true beanie should have a propellor on the top. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about true
#12242 Terry Pratchett

This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about life
#12243 Terry Pratchett

I mean, I wouldn't pay more than a couple of quid to see me, and I'm me. .

Terry Pratchett
#12244 Terry Pratchett

I think that sick people in Ankh-Morpork generally go to a vet. It's generally a better bet. There's more pressure on a vet to get it right. People say "it was god's will" when granny dies, but they get angry when they lose a cow. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about god
#12245 Terry Pratchett

I have to admit that I drive past Bridgwater quite regularly. And fast. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about past
#12246 Terry Pratchett

What you have here is an example of that well known phenomenon, A Bookshop Assistant Who Knows Buggerall But Won't Admit It (probably some kind of arts graduate). .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about art
#12247 Terry Pratchett

I staggered into a Manchester bar late one night on a tour and the waitress said "You look as if you need a Screaming Orgasm". At the time this was the last thing on my mind... .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about time
#12248 Terry Pratchett

In Reading [England] there is this thing called the IDR, short for "Inner Distribution Road", which is bureaucratese for "Big thing that cost a lot of money and relieves traffic problems, provided all your traffic wants to orbit the town centre permanently". It's a 2-3 lane dual carriageway that goes round the town centre. It has lots of roundabouts, an overhead section, a couple of spare motorway-like exits (that's British motorways -- y'know, the roundabout with the main road going under it), and a thing called the Watlington Street Gyratory, where you have to get in lane for your intended destination about three years and two corners before you get there with no signposting. I used to cycle along it every day to get to school, before I fell off at 35 mph. [Kids! Don't try this at home!] I know it well. I believe it is impossible to leave Reading heading west. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about money
#12249 Terry Pratchett

I didn't go to university. Didn't even finish A-levels. But I have sympathy for those who did. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about path
#12250 Terry Pratchett

"Out of Print" is bookseller speak for "We can't be hedgehogged". .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about books
#12251 Terry Pratchett

I was thinking of 'duh?' in the sense of 'a sentence containing several words more than three letters long, and possibly requiring general knowledge or a sense of history that extends past last Tuesday, has been used in my presence.' .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about knowledge
#12252 Terry Pratchett

Bognor has always meant to me the quintessential English seaside experience (before all this global warming stuff): driving in the rain to get there, walking around in the rain looking for something to do when you're there, and driving home in the rain again... .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about war
#12253 Terry Pratchett

I must confess the activities of the UK governments for the past couple of years have been watched with frank admiration and amazement by Lord Vetinari. Outright theft as a policy had never occurred to him. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about men
#12254 Terry Pratchett

I'm referred to, I see, as 'the biggest banker in modern publishing'. Now there's a line that needed the celebrated Guardian proof-reading. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about reading
#12256 Terry Pratchett

I always thought Detritus would be good at: "I bet you're wondrin' how many time I fired dis crossbow--" .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about time
#12257 Terry Pratchett

Mind you, the Elizabethans had so many words for the female genitals that it is quite hard to speak a sentence of modern English without inadvertently mentioning at least three of them. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about words
#12258 Terry Pratchett

Currently there's five machines permanently networked here. They all contain the serious core stuff. A couple of the machines are pensioned off 486s, with little other value now. Plus there's two Jaz drives in the building and the portable also carries a fair amount of stuff. Plus every Friday a man comes around and carves all the new stuff onto stone slabs and buries them in the garden... I think I'm okay. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about work
#12259 Terry Pratchett

If I heeded all the advice I've had over the years, I'd have written 18 books about Rincewind. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about books
#12260 Terry Pratchett

Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb -- they're often students, for heaven's sake. .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about heaven
#12261 Terry Pratchett

Death isn't online. If he was, there would be a sudden drop in the death rate. Although it'd be interesting to see if he'd post things like: DON'T YOU THINK I SOUND LIKE JAMES EARL JONES? .

Terry Pratchett Quotes about death

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