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That 70s Show

Eric: Well, first the egg travels down the fallopian tube to the uterus where it attaches to the wall
— That 70s Show travel
Red: Eric, say that your job was sent to a plant in Guatela-who-the-hell cares. Now, are you gonna vote for the guy that let that happen?
— That 70s Show hell
Kelso: So that averages out to 1.5 beers per person, which means we can invite 112 people, and that’s 224 bucks.
— That 70s Show people
Sleazy Kid: You know, I may have heard something about a party? Cant recall, but maybeAndrew Jackson could remind me?
— That 70s Show art
Hyde: Its not the devil, man! Its Congress. They passed a secret law to put backward messages in our records, man! They wanna kill rock n roll because they know it makes us horny, man!
— That 70s Show war
Jackie: I understand. Everybody wants their first makeout to be special, in some place romantic like Ireland or Disney World.
— That 70s Show world
Kelso: Its not the same, Jackie! I can talk to Eric about things that that I cant talk about with you.
— That 70s Show you
Kelso: Al-right! I dont see why you cant just serve us our food Frank! We are paying customers, you know!
— That 70s Show food
Rocky Johnson: You know thats really nice, bringing your kid to a wrestling match. You know what, I got a son, and one day hes gonna become The Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment!
— That 70s Show men
Eric: Sorry I was late. We Were at the Hub and then I had to drive everyone home and then Kelso says
— That 70s Show home
Jackie: His name is not important. Whats important is, hes better than you, in every conceivable way.
— That 70s Show you
Hyde: Hey, Forman, man, this thing better be good. If I dont see some space jugs, Im going to be super pissed.
— That 70s Show man
Kelso: Well, there is no way its better than the Planet of the Apes. I mean, those apes were really good actors.
— That 70s Show good
Red: Without that sheepskin, you are nothing. And not the kind of nothing that you are now. An even lower, more pathetic nothing.
— That 70s Show path
Eric: I killed her. She was old, and the shock of her grandson telling her that she was nasty killed her.
— That 70s Show kill
Eric: Im not talking to my dad about this. Do you remember how angry he got when I didnt rake the yard? This is like, twice as bad!
— That 70s Show ya
Red: Eric, didnt I tell you to wash up for dinner? I know, its difficult to hear with your head up your ass.
— That 70s Show you
Kitty: Well, you know, on the way to the market, I tried to run over a cat. But they are just so darn speedy!
— That 70s Show you
Donna: So, my parents are, like, fighting all the time, and they want me to choose sides. But I cant, because theyre both idiots.
— That 70s Show time
Hyde: Mrs. Forman, Ive thrown a lot of rocks at kids with lemonade stands and Lord knows I hate a hypocrite!
— That 70s Show hate
Eric: You dance with Mary Jane, you get your toes stepped on. Thats right. Consequences, my friend. Yeah, consequences. Now my cars gone and Reds high as a kite.
— That 70s Show you
Midge: Hmm, Im just loving the time we spend together Donna. In my new book Our Mothers, Our Selves, it says were supposed to be friends. We should talk to each other and listen. Your stupid father never listens.
— That 70s Show time
Midge: Well I dont know, Ive only read the first chapter. Oh, okay, no more talking about your father. So, how do you like the clogs I bought you?
— That 70s Show you
Professor Stark: Well, shell have to work with me. Make a commitmentto school. Shell really have to buckle down.
— That 70s Show work
Eric: Oh, huhuh, mother shes very willing. You know Dad, I just saw the most interesting thing today. In the garage.
— That 70s Show age
Fez: So youre telling me, if were to go to up to someones house and say trick or treat! they would give me a free piece of candy?
— That 70s Show you
Jackie: No Michael, I did not dress you up like the Fonz! Although, I mean, I like the Fonz you know he’s kinda
— That 70s Show you
Kelso: I can’t believe you guys! Here I am, as Brando as can be, and you guys can’t even see that! Well you can both just
— That 70s Show believe
Leo: Well, I dont expect a lot, man. Like, pretty much, if the hut doesnt burn down, its been a good day. And even if it burnt down, man, its cool, cause I got three or four more of these little huts somewhere. Hey, listen. If you see one of these huts, could you give me a call, man?
— That 70s Show man
Leo: Whoa, a picture of a Photo Hut. Hey, thatd be like art or something, huh. Hey, listen, man. Hope you dont mind if I pay you in cash. I dont like big brother gettin into my business, you dig.
— That 70s Show hope
Red: Riiight. Now I’m gonna eat this steak, but first, I’m gonna make a birthday wish. Here it is: I wish everyone would shut up!
— That 70s Show birth
Red: Okay Eric, Im sorry I took your moneywhile I clothe you, and feed you, and put a roof over your head. Soooorry.
— That 70s Show money
Red: What are you all looking at? Don’t you think thatPrice Mart’s new supervisor deserves a drink?
— That 70s Show art
Red: Ok, if it’s so important to you, you’re not fired. But if your grades start to slip, you are fired! I love saying that!
— That 70s Show love
Hyde: Hey, Fez, man. The circus called. They said theyd pay you fifty bucks a week if you can kiss your own ass.
— That 70s Show man
Donna: God, Dad, cant we be gone for a minute without you making all sorts of accusations? I mean, God, it was just a minute!
— That 70s Show god
Laurie: My first time was with this guy named Darren. It was really special! Oh no, wait. It wasnt Darren, it wasRobert? I think, Robert!
— That 70s Show time
Kitty: Well, um, Red and I waited until after we were married. Like, five seconds after we were married. We said, to heck with the receiving line and hit the nearest closet!
— That 70s Show wit
Laurie: No, no no no, not Robert. There was this guywhat was his name? Or was it his brother? Itll come to me.
— That 70s Show
Kitty: Good god, that dress mustve had a hundred buttons down the back, but Red got it off in no time! You wouldnt know it to look at him but Reds got very nimble fingers. Nimble!
— That 70s Show god
Midge: I just remember it was very disappointing. And I never saw that guy again. I mean, your father. I mean, your father was the first. Dont tell your father, ok?
— That 70s Show you
Kelso: Hey pal, you think youre funny? Well someday Donnas gonna crush your stupid little heart, too!
— That 70s Show funny
Eric: Yeahsee, I dont think so because Ive taken special precautions to prevent that very thing from happening. For instance, I dont sleep with other women.
— That 70s Show women
Fez: No, I didnt want to kiss her. I wanted to hand her a napkin There was not a moment when she didnt have a face full of food. I was disgusted.
— That 70s Show men
Eric: Well, I know some stuff about you, little lady. Fellas, Laurie here waxes her lips, legs, eyebrows, toes, and shoulder blades.
— That 70s Show you
Laurie: In the fifth grade, Eric sent away for the Charles Atlas kit cause a girl kicked sand in his face.
— That 70s Show girl
Eric: Last year Laurie used all of her birthday money to buy a back massager; which isnt fooling anyone, by the way.
— That 70s Show money
Laurie: Well, thats not as bad as the time I walked in on you in bed with your Dorothy Hamill poster and you were all—
— That 70s Show time
Red: What you want to do is fly in under my radar, so that if I dont see you and Laurie together, or even mention her name in the same breath, I might just forget that you even exist, got it?
— That 70s Show men
Eric: Oh, my God, thats a girl butt. Theres girl butt in the yearbook. Oh man, I cant tell who it is, I wish we had a magnifying glass.
— That 70s Show god
Jackie: Steven Hyde, you were right. We will never be friends. Well be more than friends. Because now I love you!
— That 70s Show love
Eric: Yeah, I love the Bradys. Oh, remember that episode where Mr. Brady went completely insane and put bells on all the doors?
— That 70s Show love
Red: Hey, did you see the one where Greg was a real wise ass and Mr. Brady took him outside and cleaned his clock?
— That 70s Show you
Kelso: Uh, I mean, no. No, were old. Were workers. Were all construction workers. Hey, fellas, did you see that brick today? Whoo!
— That 70s Show work
Eric: No-Yeah, youre enough. God, youreyoure plenty. Its just, uh, that, uh you see, Donna, you see, what I do with dirty magazines is really only interesting to me. with the reading of the articles and the solving of the puzzles and whatnot.
— That 70s Show god
Hyde: Oh, well I guess that explains the giant knife, the guts all over your apron. Oh, wait, no it doesn’t!
— That 70s Show you
Jackie: I cant believe it! Im so sorry I doubted you. YouYou are my heroMymy hunky, sexy, foreign skating hero!
— That 70s Show sex
Kelso: What? No! That was some rude guy. So I popped him one, and then I was goin, Ooh, because I hurt my hand when I popped the rude guy. So youre welcome. You wanna kiss it?
— That 70s Show hurt
Eric: I guess violent is the wrong word but, you know, its definitely some kind of rage. Although, I mean, you know, Earl had it coming. I love you, Daddy.
— That 70s Show love
Mediator: You missed everything. Okay. Im not gonna lie. Mr. Forman, youyou scare the living hell out of me. No offense.
— That 70s Show living
Mediator: But, Earl, in light of your failure to show up for your own hearing we have no choice but to rule in favor of Mr. Forman.
— That 70s Show light
Mediator: And Mr. Forman, even though this hearing did go your way todayin light of some of your sons responses I would strongly encourage you to go to anger management classes.
— That 70s Show courage
Eric: Neat! Anger management. That sounds like it could be kind of fun, right? WeWe won. Hey! You and meWere such a good team. Whoo-hoo-hoo! Yeah. We did it. How about us, huh? Stickin it to the man.
— That 70s Show men
Donna: Hey, next time you fool around with someone elses boyfriend, why dont you take your panties when youre done?!
— That 70s Show time
Kitty: Because you promised. And besides your father and I are having fondue and Parcheesi at the Pinciottis.
— That 70s Show you
Hyde: All right. All right. Jackie in your opinion, what are the goods and services that Kelso owes you for?
— That 70s Show good
Jackie: Everything. He was a total doofus before I met him. In fact, I bought you that belt. So hand it over. And the shirt too.
— That 70s Show you
Fez: Here. Let me do the math. Okay. Now, KelsoUh, Kelso owes Jackie the price for breaking her beautiful heart and stealing her innocence. Now, Kelso, what do you believe Jackie owes you?
— That 70s Show art
Kelso: Well- Uh-W- One time I told her that she looked pretty when really she looked pretty skanky. Andand.Hyde, help me out here.
— That 70s Show time
Hyde: Look, I told you again and again, I have no interest in you and you dont have a chance. And yet you keep thinking that I have an interest in you and you have a chance.
— That 70s Show thinking
Hyde: Okay, you know what: you forced me to do this. Im gonna explain my feelings to you through a highly disciplined form of Japanese poetry: Haiku.
— That 70s Show poetry
Donna: Well I hope youre all happy, cause you ruined my Dads barbecue. All he wanted was one more good day before everybody found out that his store was closing and hes going bankrupt.
— That 70s Show hope
Eric: Ok, fine. You know what. Fine, its all my fault. But Dad you, you gotta make everyone here go next door.
— That 70s Show you
Kitty: Eric, youre right. We have got to go over there. They are our neighbors, they are our best friends.
— That 70s Show friends
Kelso: Uh, well Remember when we went to nice restaurants and I told you to wait in the car while I paid? Did you ever wonder why I was running to the car?
— That 70s Show wonder
Eric: Which should make you happy, because you love accessories, earrings, bracelets, bangles, bows
— That 70s Show love
Eric: Oh, no, no. Theyre special. Say, Donna, do you have any more of that special ingredient we used?
— That 70s Show you
Max: Yeah! Theyre a fantastic couple. I love em. The point is were selling an image here and an available Hot Donna is good for ratings.
— That 70s Show love
Red: No. All I did was scratch your mothers shoes. I didnt pull her pants down in front of God and the foreign kid.
— That 70s Show god
Eric: No, see. X is a variable so until you define its parimeter is the only possible answer is the variable or x if you prefer.
— That 70s Show you
Red: You can go, but Ill be watching the news. And if anything gets vandalized, or explodes, or catches on fire, X is gonna equal me kicking your ass.
— That 70s Show fire
Donna: No. God, why would Eric go see something like that? I mean, is our sex life so boring that he has to sneak around and watch other people do it?
— That 70s Show life
Kitty: Oh wonderful, I started out in Gods magic circle and ended up in Satans evil square. I cant believe any of you would walk into Church without bursting into flames.
— That 70s Show god
Kelso: A promise ring is not only a gift from the heart, but it also means more sex and less mouthin off.
— That 70s Show art
Red: There were times that I thought I would never get over her, but time passed. I moved on, and then the day came when I didnt think about her as much, then a couple more days came along when I thought of her even less. Then one day I didnt think about her at all and then that made me sad.
— That 70s Show time
Red: Listen, Im gonna give you a few days to pull yourself together. You could stay in bed, watch TV, whatever you need to do.
— That 70s Show self
Unknown Girl No 3: Its not like head cheerleaders always the most talented but in my case, its true.
— That 70s Show true
Unknown Girl No 5: I know youre really angry and emotionally crippled but thats okay, cause my boyfriends in jail.
— That 70s Show friends
Unknown Girl No 6: My turn-offs include people who are mean to puppies and people who smokeor dont smoke? Or smoke? Wait. Do you smoke?
— That 70s Show people
Unknown Girl No 8: Im so glad I finally got to meet you, cause Ive, like, always been afraid of you and I like to be scared.
— That 70s Show you
Theo: I used to be like Leo, sitting around all day, wasting my life, by then one day I was in my apartment and then all the smoke cleared-
— That 70s Show life
Theo: Actually, I ran out of weed and the smoke cleared. Then I saw how trashed my apartment was so I rebuilt it. Been a contractor ever since.
— That 70s Show art
Fez: Things at ballet class have taken a turn for the worse. Somehow, Ive become one of the girlsa hairy, brown girl.
— That 70s Show girls
Eric: You know, I wasnt that worried about Donna and my mom talking about me but now that Im all paranoid Im all, like paranoid. I mean, when did it become okay for them to be friends?
— That 70s Show friends
Kelso: Thats me. So, Ive been thinking about great actors to model myself after and I choose Travolta.
— That 70s Show self
Jackie: Yeah, and Donnas a big mouth. Like, she told me how you wore makeup to last years class picture.
— That 70s Show you
Hyde: Forman, you and I are both victims of parental abandonment. Luckily, I have a rich hippie benefactor. He bought me nudie mags Id never even heard of.
— That 70s Show men
Fez: Kelso, you should tell Jackie where you go. That way, if she wants to do it, she can find you and do it. Boy, do I want to do it!
— That 70s Show you
Kelso: Fez, the foundation of every good relationship is three words: I dont know. Where are you going? I dont know. What are you thinking about? I dont know. Who is that under you? I dont know. You see, its bulletproof!
— That 70s Show words
Bob: What would I do that for?! Hey, check out the keister on Mrs. Claus! I know what I want for Christmas!
— That 70s Show christ

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