The Addams Family 1991

— The Addams Family 1991 age

Girl Scout: Is this made from real lemons?Wednesday: Yes.Girl Scout: I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure theyre real lemons?Pugsley: Yes.Girl Scout: Well, Ill tell you what. Ill buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?Wednesday: Are they made from real Girl Scouts?

— The Addams Family 1991 food

[Wednesday is hooking up an electric chair]Wednesday: Pugsley, sit in the chair.Pugsley: Why?Wednesday: So we can play a game.Pugsley: What game?Wednesday: [strapping him in] Its called, Is There a God?

— The Addams Family 1991 god

Wednesday: Im a homicidal maniac, they look just like everyone else.

— The Addams Family 1991 man

Morticia: Gomez.Gomez: Querida?Morticia: Last night you were unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me. Do it again!

— The Addams Family 1991 night

[about to bury two people]Pugsley: Are they dead?Wednesday: Does it matter?

— The Addams Family 1991 people

Gomez: [about Morticia] I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way, what bliss.

— The Addams Family 1991 die

Morticia: Children, what are you doing?Wednesday: Im going to electrocute him.Morticia: But were late for the charity auction.Wednesday: But, Mother...Morticia: I said no.Pugsley: Pleeaaaase?Morticia: Oh, all right.

— The Addams Family 1991 children

[Looking for something in a wardrobe]Morticia: Uncle Niknaks winter wardrobe. Uncle Niknaks summer wardrobe. Uncle Niknak.

— The Addams Family 1991 war

Morticia: Dont torture yourself, Gomez. Thats my job.

— The Addams Family 1991 self

Morticia: When we first met years ago, it was an evening much like this. Magic in the air. A boy.Gomez: A girl.Morticia: An open grave. It was my first funeral.Gomez: You were so beautiful. Pale and mysterious. No one even looked at the corpse.

— The Addams Family 1991 magic

Morticia: Have you spoken to her parents?Susan Firkins, Wednesdays Teacher: Well, Wednesday brought in this picture: Calpurnia Addams.Morticia: Wednesdays great-aunt Calpurnia. She was burned as a witch in 1706. They said she danced naked in the town square and enslaved the minister.Susan Firkins, Wednesdays Teacher: Really?Morticia: Oh, yes. But dont worry. Weve told Wednesday college first.

— The Addams Family 1991 parents

Gomez: How long has it been since weve waltzed?Morticia: Oh, Gomez... hours.

— The Addams Family 1991 sin

Morticia: And our credo: Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc. We gladly feast on those who would subdue us. Not just pretty words.

— The Addams Family 1991 words

Wednesday: Nobody gets out of the Bermuda Triangle, not even for a vacation. Everyone knows that.Dr. Pinderschloss: Oh, my little bundle. So much you dont understand. The human spirit, it is a hard thing to kill.Grandmama: Even with a chainsaw.

— The Addams Family 1991 loss

Gomez: We danced the Mamushka while Nero fiddled, we danced the Mamushka at Waterloo. We danced the Mamushka for Jack the Ripper, and now, Fester Addams, this Mamushka is for you.

— The Addams Family 1991 you

Sally Jessy Raphael: So, you claim that your son was brainwashed by voodoo witch doctors and forced to recruit others? Lets take a call.Gomez: Hello, Sally?Sally Jessy Raphael: Mr. Addams, *please* stop calling! We do not know where they meet!

— The Addams Family 1991 hell

Gomez: To live without you, only that would be torture.Morticia: A day alone, only that would be death.

— The Addams Family 1991 death

Wednesday: May I have the salt?Morticia: What do we say?Wednesday: [sternly] Now.

— The Addams Family 1991 day

Morticia: Margaret?Margaret: Hmm?Morticia: About the séance tonight, I wish youd come. Its Gomez Im terribly worried about. He wont eat, he cant sleep, he keeps coughing up blood.Margaret: He coughs up blood?Morticia: Well, not like he used to...

— The Addams Family 1991 sleep

[performing abridged Hamlet in school play; sword fighting]Wednesday: How all occasions do inform against me and spur my dull revenge. O, from this time forth, my thoughts be bloody or nothing worth. If I must strike you dead, I will.Pugsley: [slashes Wednesdays left wrist; blood sprays out] A hit! A very palpable hit![Wednesday cuts of Pugsleys arm, Pugsley slashes her throat; there is lots of blood spraying everywhere, getting the front rows]Wednesday: O, Proud Death. What feast is toward in thine eternal cell?[drops both swords and falls to her knees]Wednesday: Sweet Oblivion, open your arms![choking and gasping for breath, collapses, and dies]Wednesday: [the audience sits aghast in stunned silence, covered with blood while the Addams give a standing ovation]Gomez: Bravo!Morticia: Bravo!Gomez: Bravo! Bravo!

— The Addams Family 1991 death

Gomez: Look at her. I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way, what bliss.Gomez: [Morticia wakes up] Unhappy, darling?Morticia: Oh, yes. Yes completely.[Gomez sits]Morticia: Gomez... Sun. Il me perce comme un poignard.Gomez: Oh, Tish. Thats French.Morticia: Oui.Gomez: Cara mia.[kisses Morticias hand]Gomez: En garde, Monsieur Soleil!Morticia: Gomez...Gomez: Querida?Morticia: Last night, you were unhinged. You were like some desperate howling demon. You frightened me. Do it again.

— The Addams Family 1991 happy

Gomez: [watching home movies] Remember that fateful night?Uncle Fester: Of course... Your first cigar!Gomez: What? Come on, Old Man, Ive smoked since I was five. Mother insisted.

— The Addams Family 1991 fate

[Gordon, Craven and Tully keep trying to open the Addams Family Vault. For the umpteenth time, the houses booby traps dump them outside the house]Abigail Craven: You are doing this on purpose!Uncle Fester: [sarcastic] Thats right, Mother, isnt this fun!Tully Alfford: Ill race you back.

— The Addams Family 1991 time

Gomez: [playing with his trains and furiously contemplating things] He wore that finger trap for two years. Mother had to teach him to eat with his feet. And the combination, and the password, and my cigar, and he slept so well!

— The Addams Family 1991 mother

Margaret: This is all so humiliating. Why did I marry you?Tully Alfford: Because I said yes.

— The Addams Family 1991 you

Margaret: You are too precious for words, why I could just... eat you alive!Morticia: Oh no, Margaret! Too young!

— The Addams Family 1991 words

Gomez: Think of it, Thing. For twenty-five years weve attempted to contact Fester in the great beyond, and for twenty-five years, nothing. Im beginning to think my brother truly is lost.

— The Addams Family 1991 lost

[as they examine a rare and valuable heirloom Morticia is about to donate to charity]Grandmama: Lets keep it!Morticia: Hush, mama! Its for charity! Widows and orphans. We need more of them.

— The Addams Family 1991 charity

Judge: [after a golf ball is hit through his window] Damn you, Addams!Gomez: Sorry about the window, Judge. Keep the ball, I have a whole bucket full.Judge: You moron!

— The Addams Family 1991 you

[to Pugsley, who is tied up, mumbling urgently around an apple in his mouth]Wednesday: Dont be a baby. I know what Im doing.[she levels a crossbow]

— The Addams Family 1991 day

[Pugsley is strapped in the electric chair]Wednesday: [Cranking the switches] It has to warm up.Pugsley: Why?Wednesday: So it can kill you.Pugsley: I knew that.

— The Addams Family 1991 war

Gomez: [as he helps Morticia out of a trap] Leather straps, red-hot pokers!Morticia: Later, my dearest.

— The Addams Family 1991 help

Gomez: [to his family] They say a man who represents himself has a fool for a client. Well, with God as my witness, I am that fool!

— The Addams Family 1991 god

Gomez: [as they search for Wednesday] Fan out. Pugsley, head for the dung heap. Mama and Morticia, the shallow graves. Ill take the abyss. Lurch, check out the bottomless pit. Fester?Uncle Fester: [from a window] Up here!Gomez: [shouting up to him] Fester, you take the ravine, and the unmarked, abandoned well!Uncle Fester: Somebody should stay behind in case she comes back.Gomez: Good man. Good thinking!Grandmama: Then wholl take the swamp?Gomez: [Thing taps Gomezs shoe] Thats the spirit, Thing. Lend a hand. Lets go!

— The Addams Family 1991 thinking

Morticia: [to Thing] Thing, youre a handful.

— The Addams Family 1991 you

Uncle Fester: Havent you ever slaughtered anyone?Wednesday: Hes only a child.Uncle Fester: No excuse! Aim for a major artery. The jugular.

— The Addams Family 1991 art

[last lines]Uncle Fester: Children, look. Great-Aunt Lavinia! She was beheaded by her own children!Wednesday, Pugsley: Yay!

— The Addams Family 1991 children

Gomez: [playing with his trains and furiously contemplating things] How do you take it off? Thats absurd! That finger trap was a party favor at his tenth birthday!

— The Addams Family 1991 art

[to Gomez, watching Pugsley sleep]Morticia: Its so sweet. He looks just like a little entrée.

— The Addams Family 1991 sleep

Dr. Pinderschloss: Love/hate, hate/love. Like for mama, no?Gomez: But I didnt hate my mother. It was an accident!

— The Addams Family 1991 love

Margaret: Everyone keeps asking where he bought his costume.Gomez: It is a wonderful hat.

— The Addams Family 1991 wonder

Grandmama: [to the family] Dinners gonna be late.[goes outside]Grandmama: Here, boy! Here, boy!

— The Addams Family 1991 family

Gomez: [after landing on a dock] Smell that air, Fester! Like a tomb.

— The Addams Family 1991

[Thing is gesturing wildly]Gomez: Mor... Morticia... Morticia? Morticia what? Slow down! Its terrible when you stutter![Thing gropes around, finds a pen, and starts to write, but its out of ink. Groping around again, Thing overturns a bowl of cereal, grabs the spoon, and starts tapping in Morse Code]Gomez: Morticia... in... danger... stop. Send... help... at once... STOP![Gomez stands and runs out. Thing collapses]

— The Addams Family 1991 art

Gomez: [playing with his trains and praying to God] Spirits above me, give me a sign. Shall I be joyous... or shall I be damned?

— The Addams Family 1991 god

Dr. Pinderschloss: Keep the book closed, Gordon. Listen to mother!Uncle Fester: Ill never listen to you, never, ever again!Dr. Pinderschloss: I had to be strict with you because I cared! Put it down!Uncle Fester: You never really loved me!Gomez: Fester, this way!Dr. Pinderschloss: Stop whining, you little good-for-nothing! Be a man!Uncle Fester: You were a terrible mother! There! I said it![Fester opens the book, and a hurricane is unleashed inside the house, causing Tully and Dr. Pinderschloss to launch out the window]

— The Addams Family 1991 love

Gomez: [to Fester] A-ha! Showtime!

— The Addams Family 1991 time

Uncle Fester: [reading a book] Look, children. A new chapter.Uncle Fester, Wednesday, Pugsley: Scabs.

— The Addams Family 1991 reading

Margaret: [Questioning the absence of a Halloween costume] What are you, darling? Wheres your costume?Wednesday: This is my costume. Im a homicidal maniac. They look just like everybody else.

— The Addams Family 1991 man

Gomez: Cara mia, is it true?Morticia: Oui, mon amour.

— The Addams Family 1991 true

Gomez: [to Morticia] You bewitched me. I proposed that very night.

— The Addams Family 1991 night

Morticia: [to Tully, as he is torturing her] Youve done this before.

— The Addams Family 1991 you

Morticia: Why dont you speak to Fester, darling? Hes right outside the door.Gomez: I would speak with Fester if that *were* Fester. But that is *not*! That is an *impostor*! An *impostor*!

— The Addams Family 1991 you

Pugsley: ...Because were Addams.Gomez: Were Addams.

— The Addams Family 1991

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