101sharequotes Quotes Topics Famous Occupations Motivation Inspirational Life Love Funny Success Friendship ☰

The Boondocks season 1

Dewey: takes the microphone Brothers, sisters please. I think it’s time for a poem: Doom comes like a vacuum, ‘cause death sucks and smells like a raccoon or a baboon Death kills us like crack killed Pooky Like Schwarzenegger killed Tookie. Chewbacca was a wookie. Revolution.
— The Boondocks season 1 death
Ed III: I was lookin for bitches but they had that carpet shit all over them and I couldnt see what they look like. All that was really exposed was the eyes and that wasnt enough for me, cause you know shit Im lookin at the eyes, the eyes be pretty and I take the carpet off and then I got a tragedy.
— The Boondocks season 1 age
Riley: Dear Santa, you are a bitch nigga. Wait holup. holup. holup. he erases Dear Santa, you are a bitch ass nigga. I heard the mall is hiring extra security to protect you. Thats a bitch move, Santa. Im coming for that ass again until you pay what you owe. Sincurrly yours, the Santa Stalker.
— The Boondocks season 1 sin
Huey: narrating I am not a prophet, but sometimes I have prophetic dreams, like the one where I was at a garden party.
— The Boondocks season 1 dreams
Huey: Excuse me. Everyone, I have a brief announcement to make. Jesus was black, Ronald Reagan was the Devil, and the government is lying about 9/11. Thank you for your time and good night.
— The Boondocks season 1 time
Granddad: How many times have I told you, you better not even dream about tellin white folk the truth! You understand me? walks away Shoot! Makin White people riot! You better learn how to lie like me! Im gonna find me a white man and lie to him right now!
— The Boondocks season 1 truth
Granddad: wearing bath towel around his waist, holding empty orange juice carton Would one of yall like to explain this?!
— The Boondocks season 1 art
Granddad: Yall need to start appreciating your granddaddy. I went and spent your inheritance on this beautiful house in this neighborhood and all I ask you to do is act like you got some class!
— The Boondocks season 1 art
Granddad: S-s-s-see? Thats what Im talkin about right there! We dont use the n-word in this house!
— The Boondocks season 1 right
Granddad: Theres a new White man out there! Hes refined! For example, did you know the new white man loves gourmet cheese?
— The Boondocks season 1 love
Granddad: Thats right; cheese. You give the meanest White man a piece of cheese and hell turn into Mister Rogers.
— The Boondocks season 1 man
The scene turns to the living room where Riley and Huey sit on the sofa while Robert stands in front of them holding Rileys BB gun.
— The Boondocks season 1 living
Robert accidentally shoots the gun at the table where the pellet ricochets off the surface and strikes Riley in the leg.
— The Boondocks season 1
Granddad: To Huey The hell I cant! Youre gonna go and youre not gonna embarrass me in front of my new neighbors or Im gonna beat your ass.
— The Boondocks season 1 hell
In a flashback, a young Robert Freeman arrives late to a civil rights demonstration wearing a raincoat and hat.
— The Boondocks season 1 man
Robert: Weve all been watching the same news! The police been doing this fire hose thing all week! I just assumed wed all wear our raincoats.
— The Boondocks season 1 fire
Uncle Ruckus: Rudely shouldering past Granddad Outta the way, Kunta Kinte! Warmly, to the white guest who pulled up behind the Freemans Yes, sir. How can I help you?
— The Boondocks season 1 war
Uncle Ruckus: Aw, Lord have mercy. into his walkie-talkie Security! Security! We have us a Code Black! A Code Black at the main gate!
— The Boondocks season 1 mercy
Ed Wuncler III: Real? Put it dis way, if I picked one up and, put it to yo face, pull de trigger will you be dead?
— The Boondocks season 1 you
Wuncler III: Man Im like de terminator in dis vest. Drains an entire bottle of beer in one swig then belches loudly. What, chu dont believe me? Go ahead! Pull the trigger.
— The Boondocks season 1 man
Uncle Ruckus outside singing his song, Dont trust them new niggas over there. Rich people clap after song while Riley tries to tell Robert off.
— The Boondocks season 1 people
Riley: Say hello to my little friend! Pulls the trigger of the gun and is thrown against the door of the room due to the force of the blast. Ungh!
— The Boondocks season 1 hell
Wuncler III: Goes flying out the window.Waaaaaaaaaahhhhhh! Lands on the ground outside where the party is being held. All the rich people stand up to look at him and he sits up to look at them. Fuck yall lookin at?
— The Boondocks season 1 art
Huey: Come on man, Its supposed to be all historically accurate, and they STILL have a white man playing Jesus? Thats some old bullshit.
— The Boondocks season 1 jesus
Uncle Ruckus: singing badly Dont trust them new niggers over there! Leavin their nigger essence in the air! Them happy, nappy-head niggers, with their fingers on the trigger! Dont trust them new niggers over there! Dont trust them big nostrils over yonder! They suck up so much air, itll make you wonder! Dont trust them new niggers, with they spiny little nigger fingers! Dont trust them new niggers over there!
— The Boondocks season 1 trust
Huey:You shot his grandson out the window, what chu think? Shhh. I dunno, I didnt wanna move here but, I dont want grandad to lose his house. He worked his whole life to get here.
— The Boondocks season 1 life
Ed Wuncler: In 30 years, that boys going to become the President of the United States and hell still be a fuckin idiot.
— The Boondocks season 1 hell
Granddad: What? Shoot, I wish somebody gave me a golden shower. Riley laughs One, I like gold. Two, I like showers. Riley laughs hysterically Put it together, hey, that sound like the life, hyoo
— The Boondocks season 1 life
Riley: recovering If youre good, Santa Claus might give you a golden shower for Christmas. he laughs
— The Boondocks season 1 good
R. Kellys Lawyer: making an opening statement The ancient Greeks, the architects of western civilization, would regularly indulge in sexual activities with children. Were they perverts? In Puritan America, the forefathers of this great land would take wives who were 12 or 13 years old, much younger than the alleged victim. Were they sickos? In Tokyo, you could buy teenage girls panties in vending machines. Do we call them disgusting? Of course not! What do all those things have to do with Robert Kelly? Nothing. Lets get to the point. Now some people see this so-called mountain of evidence — these video tapes, photographs, eyewitnesses, and DNA — and see a guilty man, but some of us can see that mountain of so-called evidence for what it really is: racism.
— The Boondocks season 1 people
Uncle Ruckus: You cant compare a chocolate monkey like R. Kelly to Jerry Lee Lewis! He was the king of rock n roll. Great balls of fire! And besides, that was different. It was family
— The Boondocks season 1 family
Uncle Ruckus: Now I know exactly what happened to Kobe. Kobe caught that white fever. White fever get in your blood, man, itll make you crazy. And you know they got them short little skirts nowadays and that uhh What they call them, the the the tongs?
— The Boondocks season 1 man
Uncle Ruckus: Yeah, right, they got the thongs all up the booty crack and they got that sweet white nectar. he closes his eyes Oh, Lord have mercy. he starts sweating And after that its over. You wake up and you dont even know what you done done. Just a pool of sweat around your ankles and a deep sense of satisfaction. he starts to wipe the sweat from his brow Give me a minute, Robert.
— The Boondocks season 1 art
Huey: Heres something black people have known for a couple of hundred years: niggas are crazy. Now black people dont like to talk about crazy niggas in public cause white people might be listening.
— The Boondocks season 1 people
Robert: Hey, you know what Kobe said to OJ after the trial? I hope this doesnt put you off white women
— The Boondocks season 1 hope
Huey : Well, that sounds like a stripper name. Cristal like the champagne, might you be a stripper?
— The Boondocks season 1 you
Huey: Granddad, have you asked yourself why a 20-year-old girl would want to go out with a man your age?
— The Boondocks season 1 self
Riley: Takin women out to eat? Givin em free meals? What part of the game is that? You takin her to Red Lobster with the cheddar biscuits. The fam aint eatin cheddar biscuits, but this random broad is eatin cheddar biscuits.
— The Boondocks season 1 women
Riley: Game recognize game, and you lookin kinda unfamiliar right now. I I cant wheres Granddad? Can I help you sir?
— The Boondocks season 1 you
Granddad: stares at Riley for a while I aint got time to mess around with yall. I gotta date. Get out the way. he walks off screen
— The Boondocks season 1 time
Cristal: These cheddar biscuits are so good! They just melt in your mouth! Thank you for the meal, it was very romantic. Like tasting the sea or somethin.
— The Boondocks season 1 man
Cristal: A doggy bag is ninety bucks. A tea bag is fifty. But I have to ask you to excuse me right now. See, Im kinda, you know, on a real date.
— The Boondocks season 1 you
Riley: Okay. But if they not all hoes, then why I got to pay to take em out to eat, then? I mean, Im payin. Thats payment!
— The Boondocks season 1 men
Huey: I I dont know. Cause thats just what you do. You meet a girl, you take her out to dinner, but youre not paying the girl. Youre paying the restaurant.
— The Boondocks season 1 you
Riley: But Im payin. Which makes her a ho. Why dont I just give her the money I was gonna spend on dinner, and that ho can go grocery shopping?
— The Boondocks season 1 money
Riley: continuing Thats how it starts, you know? Takin bitches out to eat — meals and whatnot. Next thing you know, you wake up in a rest haven for hoes. A sanctuary for scandalous skeezes and stunts.
— The Boondocks season 1 art
Riley: What if we have a ho for a grandma, and she comes to school on career day? Ooh what if they have kids? Wed have a brother or sister thats half ho!
— The Boondocks season 1 school
Huey: Granddad, we dont know anything about Ms. Cristal. I mean, we know she spends all your money, we know she eats more than a black hole
— The Boondocks season 1 money
Cristal: Before you start, I just want to say how much fun its been hanging out with you guys. Think of me as a big sister you always wanted.
— The Boondocks season 1 art
Cristal: To be honest, me either. Its so obvious. But its okay, because Im in a transitional period
— The Boondocks season 1
Cristal: Oh, so now we get to what this is really about! Im not one of yall, Im not in the family, I dont carry his genes so, I have to go?
— The Boondocks season 1 family
Cristal: Ho is a strong term. Right now, Im somewhere between anatomical sales associate and high maintenance girlfriend. Cant you be positive about my growth?
— The Boondocks season 1 growth
Huey: Cristal, every part of you bein here is unacceptable. Do you realize Im doing prostitute laundry? Do you have any idea how disgusting that is?!
— The Boondocks season 1 art
A Pimp Named Slickback: My name is A Pimp Named Slickback, and I believe I may have misplaced some merchandise at this residence. There she is. to Cristal Bitch I hope you got the moneys to cover this little vacation youve been takin.
— The Boondocks season 1 hope
A Pimp Named Slickback: No no!, Its A Pimp Named Slickback, like A Tribe Called Quest, you say the whole thing: A Pimp Named Slickback!
— The Boondocks season 1 you
A Pimp Named Slickback: A minute?! short chuckle in disbelief Let us pray the pimps prayer. church organ playing Lord, please pray for the soul of this bitch and guide my pimp hand and make it strooong Lord! So that she might learn a hos place. Amen!
— The Boondocks season 1 soul
Huey walks into the dining room to find Robert asleep with candles lit, a box of tissues and wadded-up tissues next to him
— The Boondocks season 1 sleep
Huey: Narrating Watch closely. Youre about to exprience a nigga moment. Webster defines the nigga moment as a moment where ignorance overwhelms the mind of an otherwise logical negro male
— The Boondocks season 1 mind
The two men continue shouting at each other, then shoot at each other, missing every shot despite being right next to each other
— The Boondocks season 1 men
Huey: but they all end up bad. If they had their own category, nigga moments would be the third leading killer of black men behind pork chops and F.E.M.A.. Its a fact. Now lets see how a nigga moment affects a white man.
— The Boondocks season 1 men
Black Guy: Where you going!? Dont you ignore me! This is a perfectly good moment to throw your life away!
— The Boondocks season 1 life
Huey: A big misconception about the nigga moment is that it can be avoided by simply movin away from niggas. If only it were that easy; see, niggas always got a new trick right around the corner.
— The Boondocks season 1 men
Granddad: Listen up boys, Im about to sing the new shoe song. dancing New shoes! New shoeees, hoo-hoo! Boy, Nike makes some good shoes.
— The Boondocks season 1 good
Huey: Every nigga moment begins with a nigga. Without that key element, all youre left with is peace and quiet. Colonel H. Stinkmeaner is and always has been a cantankerous, ornery old man. He spent his childhood disagreeing with most things - especially things involving happiness, unity, and kindness. Stinkmeaner got no pleasure seeing sunsets and trees, dolphins or rainbows.
— The Boondocks season 1 happiness
Huey: Doctors gave him 3 years to live. So he dedicated those 3 years to spread in a lifetime of misery of hatred. Nobody knows how Stinkmeaner managed to live so long. He believed it was his love of hatred that kept him going.
— The Boondocks season 1 love
Stinkmeaner: Who in the hell parked in my space? Thats like calling 1-800-collect an ass-whoopin. And no, that aint no toll-free call, PARTNAH!
— The Boondocks season 1 art
Stinkmeaner: Bah, Id be doin them a favor! Gettin run over by me is as close to an honorable death as most of these people gonna get! Some days, Im quite the humanitarian. fondly I think I hit a wheelchair on the way over here.
— The Boondocks season 1 death
Stinkmeaner: Nyuggah, you betta have insurance! Ass whoopin insurance! And youre about to pay, a deductible!
— The Boondocks season 1 you
Huey:narrating And just like that, my Granddad was trapped in a nigga moment. At this point, Granddad can a walk away and let insurance handle the damages to the car or b fight with a dumb, crazy, blind nigga. Lets see which one he chooses
— The Boondocks season 1 men
Stinkmeaner: Ha ha ha! Thats right! I backed into yo car, nyukka! Whatchu gonna do?! WHATCHU GONNA DO?!
— The Boondocks season 1 right
Huey:narrating Ive said it before. Expensive sneakers are like a 150 dollar landmines. Step on one and BOOM!! A perfectly, rational black man can explode.
— The Boondocks season 1 man
Riley:in the background while Stinkmeaner is talking Granddad, I know you didnt let that nigga step on yo shoes!!
— The Boondocks season 1 you
Riley:As Granddad growlsAnd that nigga spittin on you, you betta get him Granddad! Hit him! Hit him!
— The Boondocks season 1 you
On the awkward car trip home, the song of Eye of the Tiger by Survivor band is playing on the radio.
— The Boondocks season 1 war
Radio: Its The Eye Of The Tiger / Its the thrill of The Fight! / Standing up to the challenge of your rival!
— The Boondocks season 1 fight
Riley: Bad knee?! That nigga had bad eyes! He couldnt see, Granddad! He beat you like a piñata! to Huey Yo, we should rent Granddad out for Mexican birthday parties! We can call him Sr. Piñata! Hola, Sr. Piñata!
— The Boondocks season 1 art
Riley: Okay, What you gonna do? Beat me? Maybe I should get a blindfold first; Riley covers his eyes with his hands Okay, Im ready! Wait-maybe hes gonna fall on me! Riley gets on his knees and uses his left arm to cover his eyes and his right is pointed up at Granddad to push him off if he falls on him and Riley laughs
— The Boondocks season 1 you
Riley: on the floor now, cringing from laughter Granddad, Rodney King just called and said, Damn! I thought I got my ass whupped! Riley laughs uncontrollably until Huey kicks him and Granddad walks off in shame
— The Boondocks season 1 thought
Huey v/o: That night I dreamt of a blind swordsman. the fight begins He knows my every move, yet he cannot see. As my mind fights to make sense of the impossible, he is turning my sight into a liability. Fighting continues as Huey dodges the samurais quake He has no just cause to want my life. There is no forethought, no logic in his actions. blind samurai slashes Hueys leg, Huey falls This isnt just any swordsman. This is the blind nigga samurai.
— The Boondocks season 1 life
Granddads Answering Machine: You have reached the Freeman residence. If this is a lovely cutie pie, please leave a message. Everybody else just hang up right now because Im not interested.
— The Boondocks season 1 love
Ruckus: Hello, Robert, pick up the phone. Pick up the phone! I know you there in hiding. I seen you on the news. Getting your black ass whupped by that blind old monkey. Thats why they shouldnt let niggas go shoppin. Call me back. Granddad walks away from machine Dont you walk away from this answering machine!
— The Boondocks season 1 hell
Ruckus: Between you and me, your grandaddy shouldnt have too much to worry about. Everybody knows niggas cant fight.
— The Boondocks season 1 body
Ruckus: Jean-Claude Van Damme is the greatest martial artist in the world. He killed a man with his butt-cheek power! Steven Seagal, David Carradine, Chuck Norris; shoot! Walker Texas Ranger? Now thats a karate man right there!
— The Boondocks season 1 art
Tom: Thats right, Robert. Nobodys gonna call you a fruity-boy or a pansy-pants if you dont do this.
— The Boondocks season 1 body
Stinkmeaner: You scared? Yeah you scared aint you bitch nigga. I can smell the bitch in ya. Oh, thats vintage bitch. You must have Alzheimers, old man. You already forgot that ass whuppin. Uh oh I hear you comin.
— The Boondocks season 1 man
Huey: narrating And as I watched Stinkmeaner move blindly around the ring, I had a terrifying realization: he wasnt a trained swordsman and he didnt have super hearing. He was a blind old man who had just gotten lucky. shouting Granddad! Wait! No! Stop!
— The Boondocks season 1 words
Health Inspector: Look at me. See how Im all clean, glistenin an shit? Dats hygiene, nigga. You could call me the Health Inspector. NOW PICK UP THE SOAP!!
— The Boondocks season 1 health
White House Spokesman: And so, were raising the Terror Alert Level to intense orange-red based on very credible, detailed information on a non-specific threat. Could it be a hijacking? Absolutely possible. Chemical or biological agent? You bet it could happen. Suicide bomber? Hey, ya never know. But what we do know is that its absolutely, positively gonna happen today, maybe.
— The Boondocks season 1 man
Jazmine: Terrorists kidnapped my father and theyre going to cut off his head in Algeria! My daddy was supposed to be home from work before school let out and he isnt here. And were at terror alert level orange! Orange!!
— The Boondocks season 1 work
Tom: Huey! I got arrested! They say I fit the description. I think its cause Im black Huey! You have to get me out of here Huey. You dont wanna know what theyll do to me in jail.
— The Boondocks season 1 you
Huey: Theyll rape you thats what theyre gonna do. But youre not in jail, youre in holding, and I dont think people usually get raped in holding; hold on. yelling Granddad, do people get raped in holding?
— The Boondocks season 1 people
Tom: Stop stop stop! I dont want your granddad to know. I dont want anybody to know. Listen they cant keep people in holding over the weekend. At nine oclock tonight, theyre going to put me on a bus and send me to real jail. Real jail! Earliest I can get out would be on Monday.
— The Boondocks season 1 people
Tom: It only takes one night to get anally raped! Huey, the only way for me to get out of here is if you find the real killer tonight.
— The Boondocks season 1 night
Tom: Thank yooou Huuey. Whatever you do, dont tell my baby Jazmine. I dont want her to know her daddy was somebodys biiittcch! he starts weeping
— The Boondocks season 1 art
Gin Rummy: Sounds to me like you got yourselves a fugitive of justice. I say you came to the right hombre.
— The Boondocks season 1 justice
Huey: Look, we have exactly four hours and forty-five minutes to find the X-Box Killer. Can you help us do it?
— The Boondocks season 1 you
Gin Rummy: Id be dead on his ass like Spenser For fuckin Hire. Ill hunt him down and feed him his own testicles. And Ill do it in a jiffy. And I dont care if his mama there, his grandmama, innocent bystander, little kids, baby-sitters, bill collectors. Whatever! Ill leave his whole block filled with hot brass if I have to. And you know why? Because I just dont give a fuck! the yolks on his eggs pop and Rummy, perfectly calm now, continues Yall sure you dont want no breakfast? I got some English muffins and peach jelly.
— The Boondocks season 1 hate
Ed III: approaching Huey and Riley who are still in slight bewilderment from Rummys rant See? I told you my boy was gangsta! Hey, man, put some links with them grits, Rummy. Shit, Im hungry as a muthafucka!
— The Boondocks season 1 men
Interrogator: You know what this is man. Its fuckin racism, man. You were at the wrong place at the wrong time and you just happen to fit the description. Now, if you admit that you killed him
— The Boondocks season 1 time
Interrogator: Look, even if you didnt kill anyone, just admit that you killed him. I promise you wont go to jail. Smack on the wrist, I promise you.
— The Boondocks season 1 you

Share your thoughts on The Boondocks season 1 quotes with the community:

Maybe you are looking for The Boondocks season 1 quotes, The Boondocks season 1 sayings?

Here are quotes most suitable for various topics. In the web you can find use by keywords: quotes The Boondocks season 1 The Boondocks season 1 quotes The Boondocks season 1 sayings The Boondocks season 1 famous quotes The Boondocks season 1 best quotes

101sharequotes Quotes Topics Famous Occupations Motivation Inspirational Life Love Funny Success Friendship