The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

Now if youll excuse me, Im going to go on an overnight drunk, and in 10 days Im going to set out to find the shark that ate my friend and destroy it. Anyone who wants to join me is more than welcome.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou night

Supposedly Cousteau and his cronies invented the idea of putting walkie-talkies into the helmet. But we made ours with a special rabbit ear on the top so we could pipe in some music.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou music

You know, Id be jealous about you staying at Alis place, except I always thought he was kind of a closet queer.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou thought

You hung us out to dry. If we dont handle this right, were gonna all get murdered. Including her unborn British child.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou murder

The Arctic Night-lights. Yeah. As if the natural worlds been turned upside down. Lord Mandrake. Vikram, get some cutaways of this miracle. Klaus, Ogata, put out the deck fires before we sink.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou world

The first thing that goes through a captains head when he hears theres low morale goin around is: Whatd I do? Is it all my fault? Well, hes probably right. Most of us have been together a long time. There are others that were here before that. Do you all not like me anymore? I mean, what am I supposed to do? I dont know. Look, if youre not against me dont cross this line. If yes, do. I love you all.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou love

I mean, I know I want him to think of me like a father. But the fact that theres an outside chance that he could really be my actual biological son is very difficult for me.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou logic

Its probably the last adventure Ive got in me. I was hopin to go out in a flash of blazes, but Ill probably just end up goin home.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou adventure

Oh, shit! Swamp leeches. Everybody, check for swamp leeches, and pull them off Nobody else got hit? Im the only one? Whats the deal?

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou body

Well give them the reality this time. A washed-up old man with no friends, no distribution deal, wife on the rocks, people laughin at him, feelin sorry for himself.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou time

Wolodarsky, go get the keys to that fishing boat, and throw them in the water. No, wait. They might have another set. Just blow it up.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou water

Im about to blow my stack. I turn my back, and the bullshit begins. Ned, youre a scumbag. And, Jane, youre a goddamn liar.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou god

Im sorry I never acknowledged your existence all those years. It wont happen again. I mean it. You are my son to me. Almost more so.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou knowledge

This is the first time Eleanors ever cried in front of me as long as Ive known her. Except for once when she got her arm caught in the deck winch.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou time

Well, I was a little embarrassed at first. Obviously people are gonna think Im a showboat and a little bit of a prick. But then I realized thats me. I said those things. I did those things. I can live with that.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou people

We complete the adventure, but another member of our crew has been lost. This one was my son. Also our equity partner. We start the voyage home in our wounded vessel.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou art

Bill Ubell here. Im on a pay phone. I am still blindfolded. My arms are bound. But a young boy has been kind enough to assist me. Theres not much chance Ill get another opportunity to call so I thought I would ask if— What? No.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou thought

Actually, I was sort of terrified about having this baby. And right now Im not really scared of anything. Maybe its my hormones.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou right

Oh, we were like glorys gate, my darling. We were like that bloody shark of yours. We swam with the, um, uh — Oh, goddamn it. I had it on the plane. What was I gonna say? Ah, well.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou god

Steve: Encounter with highly abnormal sharklike fish! Ten meters in length, unfamiliar dorsal features, spots all over it! I shot it dorsally with a homing dart! Esteban was eaten! Check the scanning monitor! Start tracking before it dives too deep!

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou art

Festival Director: Thats an endangered species at most. What would be the scientific purpose of killing it?

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou purpose

Alistair: Oh, yeah, as a matter of fact it is. I just became a Knight in Portugal, the Presidente gave a special ball

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou night

Oseary Drakoulias: Oh, we were like glorys gate, my darling. We were like that bloody shark of yours, we swam with the oh, damn it, I had it on the plane.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou you

Oseary Drakoulias: You must swear, legally swear that you will not kill that shark, or whatever it is, if it actually exists.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou hate

Steve: People say that when someone says something like that, its because theyre jealous. But it still hurts. It hurts bad.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou people

Steve: Goddamn it, Eleanor, why do you have to say it like that? You couldnt try to break it a little bit nicer?

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou god

Steve: Shes a rich bitch, you know. She was raised by maids. Her parents paid for this island and two of my worst movies. People say shes the brains behind Team Zissou.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou people

Jane: I am pregnant. Im not even going to ask what you men are doing out here in your matching pajamas, by the way.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou men

Vladimir Wolodarsky: Steve, one of the interns just fell down the stairs with the main tracking processor.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou sky

Alistair: It doesnt say. They probably just trashed the place. Im so pissed I wanna spit. Hugo - tell Carl to load my elephant gun with buckshot. Were gonna hunt down these sickos.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou wit

Steve: I know, honey. Look at the map. We go your way, thats about four inches. We go my way, its an inch and a half. You wanna pay for the extra gas?

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou you

Ned: Its me, Ned. Maybe this is nothing, maybe its something. I dont know what your problems are, I dont know but I just inherited $275,000. Would that amount make any difference?

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou problems

Jane: Steve, its way safer for us to just do what they say. They probably just want our money and jewels and shit.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou money

Steve: That was all off the record, cubbie. That whole deal. Actually, Im surprised you didnt cross the line yourself.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou self

Steve: Youre kidding. That was one of the most dramatic things thats ever happened on this boat. I just lost all my best interns. I thought you were supposed to be covering this story.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou thought

Steve: Wait a second. They stole my budget, my boats broken, youre ditchin me up the creek. What am I supposed to do here?

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou you

Oseary Drakoulias: Well, I must say, nothings jumping to mind. Phillip, any suggestions? No, hes shaking his head.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou mind

Steve: I need some money to get the boat out of hock and rescue my bond company stooge who got kidnapped. Could we ask your parents to loan it to me?

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou money

Steve: Okay. Could I go ahead and butter you up anyway? It took me two and a half hours to get out here.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou you

Steve: You were probably right all along. We shouldve had a kid together. Of course you were kind of already on the edge of bein too old. Unless maybe thats a cop-out.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou you

Steve: You never say, Im gonna fight you, Steve. You just smile and act natural, and then you sucker-punch him.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou smile

Steve: You might be on B Squad, But youre the B Squad leader. Dont you know me and Esteban always thought of you as our baby brother?

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou thought

Klaus: Ive always thought of you two as my dads. Please dont let any one make fun of me for saying so.

— The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou thought

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