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The Looney Tunes Show

Eeeeeeh, watch me paste this pathetic palooka with a powerful, paralyzing, perfect, pachydermous, percussion pitch.
— The Looney Tunes Show power
Here I go with the timid little woodland creature bit again. Its shameful, butehhh, its a living.
— The Looney Tunes Show living
Ah, what a beautiful dream! You know, It would be catastrophic if harm were to befall this Serene Scene.
— The Looney Tunes Show dream
And so having disposed of the monster, exits our hero, stage right through the front door-none the worse from his harrowing experience.
— The Looney Tunes Show experience
Eh, youll be fine if you remember tree things. One, your adversaries have tapioca for brains. Two, always eat your carrots. And three, villains always fall for cheesy disguises.
— The Looney Tunes Show you
Ah yes, Tiny Toon Adventures; a fine show. It all began quite a while ago, but I remember it as clearly as if it were a flashback. It was late night at da Warner Bros. Studio. I was just hanging around, as usual, while de artists were comin up with brilliant new TV ideas.
— The Looney Tunes Show war
Buster and Babs were about ready to throw in the towel, so I decided to give em a bit of wabbit wisdom.
— The Looney Tunes Show wisdom
Im sorry Mac, but da lady of da house aint home, and besides, we already sent you people a check last week!
— The Looney Tunes Show people
Oooh, dats far too hot for da little miser. Hes liable to boil his money belt! Hehehehe! Disll probably cool off everything but his temper!
— The Looney Tunes Show money
Dat evil characters after that nice old ladys money! Looks like this boy scouts gonna do his deed for today.
— The Looney Tunes Show money
If dis assignment doesnt toin out funny, Warner Bros. will disavow any knowledge of de episode and blame it on da writers.
— The Looney Tunes Show funny
They say youre getting all fatten up for Thanksgiving? So they give ya all this food and you eaten, eaten till youre nice and fat!
— The Looney Tunes Show food
Shoot me again! I enjoy it! I love the smell of burnt feathers and gun powderand cordite. Im an elk! Shoot me! Go on!! Its elk season! Im a fiddler crab. Why dont you shoot me?! Its fiddler crab season!
— The Looney Tunes Show love
Ooooh, thats DAFFY! DAFFY Duck! I cant believe youd mistake a big star like me for that other duck who cant even talk straight!
— The Looney Tunes Show believe
THATS IT!! THIS IS THE VERY VERY LAST STRAW!!! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHOS RESPONSIBLE!!! SHOW YOURSELF!!! I DEMAND YOU SHOW YOURSELF!!!
— The Looney Tunes Show self
Porky: T-t-tell me, Holmes, at what sort of school did you learn to be a detective? Daffy: Elementary my dear Watson! Elementary!
— The Looney Tunes Show men
Daffy: Plotz!! Mr. Plotz: Daffy, what can I do for you? Daffy: Its this Cat & Birdy show! Mr. Plotz: What about it? Daffy: I demand it be changed to The Duck & Daffy Duckeroonie Daffy Ducky Duck Cartoonie Show! Mr. Plotz: But-- Daffy: No buts, Plotz! Change it or Im walking! Yakko: Ive got dibs on his parking space.
— The Looney Tunes Show art
Bugs: Now its my toin to do an act. Daffy: Go ahead! Id love to see the audience boo you off the stage!
— The Looney Tunes Show love
P-p-p-pithey oh t-t-t-travelling clown. C-c-c-couldst thou directeth me to Robin Hoods h-h-h-hideout?
— The Looney Tunes Show travel
C-c-c-come gather m-m-m-m-mmy-my-my-my ch-children and y-y-you shall h-h-hear of the mi-of the mi-of the mi-of the midnight r-r-ri-r-ri-r-ride of P-pa-p-pa-paul R-r-revere.
— The Looney Tunes Show children
O-o-o-okay, everyone. N-n-n-nothing more to see. Th-th-the-th-the-th-thats all, folks. Hey, I l-l-like the sound of that.
— The Looney Tunes Show
H-h-h-help! I-i-i-i-i-indians are coming! I-i-i-i-indians! B-b-b-bows and arrows! T-t-t-tomah-h-hatchets! W-w-w-wigwams! All kinds of - all kinds of stuff like that there!
— The Looney Tunes Show help
Oh, will y-y-y-you s-s-s-s-stop t-t-t-that r-r-r-r-r-racket!? Now get outta here, y-y-you r-r-r-r-r-roosters!!
— The Looney Tunes Show you
Wisten to the whythmic whythm of the woodwinds as it wowws awound and awoundand it comes out here!
— The Looney Tunes Show win
Any time those two wittle nut cwackers think they can out-smart Ewmer J. Fudd theyve got another thing coming.
— The Looney Tunes Show time
I hope you can hewp me mister game warden. Ive been towd I can shoot wabbits, mongooses, pigeons, dirty skunks and ducks. Can you teww me what season it weawwy is??!!
— The Looney Tunes Show hope
Good evening, sportsmen evewywhereFwesh-Fwied, Fwesh-Fwozen Wabbit Company bwings you The Sportsmans Hour, with handy hunting tips by yours twuwy, Ewmer Fudd!.And today I have a WEAL surpwise for you: I will demonstwate the pwoper pwocedure for hunting, twacking down and bwasting to smitheweens a weal, wive wabbit!Now, be vewy, vewy quiet
— The Looney Tunes Show men
That was an awfuwwy good weg of wamb. Elmer then enters his living room, turns on the radio, sits down on his armchair and reads a newspaper I wonder how Dick Tracey made out today? Someone then bangs on the door, Elmer answers it.
— The Looney Tunes Show living
Elmer: Oh, Mr. Game Wawden, Ive been told to shoot wabbits and pigeons and mongooses and dirty skunks and elks and ducks. Can you tell me what season it weawy is? Bugs Bunny: as Game Warden Certainly, mboy! Its baseball season!
— The Looney Tunes Show war
Elmer: Aah, finished! West and wewaxation at wast! And thanks to your help, it only took fouteen yeaws to compwete. Loud Kiddington: Aww, youre only saying that because Im your son. Elmer: No, Im saying that because working awone, I couldve finished it in six yeaws!!
— The Looney Tunes Show work
Elmer: In my day, we used to chase wabbits. But times have weawwy changed. Elmyra: Now we hug em and squeeze em to pieces! Elmer: Thats wight!
— The Looney Tunes Show time
Belay there, you long eared galoot! Get aloft and furl the tatter-sole top gallants before I keelhauls you!
— The Looney Tunes Show you
Yeah, Yosemite Sam - the roughest, toughest he-man stuffest hombré thats ever crossed the Rio Grande. An I aint no namby-pamby.
— The Looney Tunes Show man
I want you baby! Your eyes! Your lips! Come with me to the Casbaaaaaaaah! Well make beautiful music together!
— The Looney Tunes Show music
Okay, Ill shut up. Some fellas have to keep their tongues flappin but not me. I was brought up right. My pa used to tell me to shut up and Id shut up. I wouldnt say nothin. One time darn near starved to death. WOULDNT TELL HIM I WAS HUNGRY!!
— The Looney Tunes Show death
I dont think this kids got all his marbles. Shakes his head when he means yes and nods when he means no.
— The Looney Tunes Show think
Place your bet - Ah say - place your bets, gentlemen. Winner plays, loser stays. Everyones a winne - well, not everyone.
— The Looney Tunes Show men
Hey Dawg! Ive come to bury the hatchet! Ha, ha. Not in your pointed head, Boy. I come in peace! I brought you a peace-offerin.
— The Looney Tunes Show peace
OH that woman. Gotta mouth like an outboard motor. All the time: Putputputputputput-phut-phut-phut-putputputputputputputputphew!
— The Looney Tunes Show time
I dont know what youre doing with that bowling ball, girly. But Im not gonna stand by and let a lady do a mans job.
— The Looney Tunes Show man
Ahm a rooster, son, not a chicken! Pay at-ah say, pay attention, boy! Ahm talkin to ya! Nice boy, but doesnt listen to a word ya say.
— The Looney Tunes Show ya
Hold it, Sam, HOLD IT!! Isnt it silly to jeopardize our neighborly relations over this scrawny bird?!?
— The Looney Tunes Show silly
I.I cant help it..Im a pussycat with NORMAL WEAKNESSESOTHER pussycats eat birds!!..WHY pick on me?!? WHY?!??!?
— The Looney Tunes Show cats
Brother pussycats. Weve been thhhhhhhhhkidded out, scooted out, backed out and booted out. But TONIGHT we were thhhhhhhhhcared out. Its inhothhhhpita-bitable!! And furthermore, its unnnnnnnnnnncatchhhhhhhhtitutional!!! Are we men or are we mithhhhhhhhhhhhe?!
— The Looney Tunes Show men
No mouse is no match for no cat. And Im a cat. I think. MEOW!! Yep, Im a cat. So MUHA HAHA HA HA HA, mouse!!!
— The Looney Tunes Show think
Aw, come on! Stand still! How do you expect me to grasp you when you jump around like a flea on a hot brick?!
— The Looney Tunes Show you
Being a cat is easy if you remember these thsimple rulesth - cat chases bird, cat catches bird, cat eats bird.
— The Looney Tunes Show you
with a black nose instead of a red nose Brother pussycats! Weve been skidded out, scooted out, backed out, and booted out! But, tonight, we was SCARED out! Its unhospitabitable! And, furthermore, its un-cat-stitutional! ARE WE MEN OR ARE WE MICE?!
— The Looney Tunes Show men
Now just a minute my fine feathered friend! Aint you got no aesthetic sense? No ear for musical appreciation?
— The Looney Tunes Show music
Oh, wook, piddies! This widdle piddy went to market, this widdle piddy stayed home, this widdle piddy had woast beef, and this little pitty had.whadaya know, wan outa piddies!
— The Looney Tunes Show ya
If theres one little feather, just ONE little feather harmed of this bird, Im going to sell you to the violin string factory!
— The Looney Tunes Show you
You know, the pussy gato needs one of those psycholico um psycholica um you know, one of those head shreenking fellows.
— The Looney Tunes Show you
Deednt your mother tell you to look both ways before crosseeng the railroad tracks? You could get hurt!
— The Looney Tunes Show hurt
Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Wile E. Coyote, Genius. I am not selling anything nor am I working my way through college. And so lets get down to cases. You are a rabbit and I am going to eat you for supper. Now dont try to get away. I am more muscular, more cunning, faster and larger than you are and Im a genius while you could hardly pass the entrance examinations to kindergarten. So Ill give you the customary 2 minutes to say your prayers.From Operation Rabbit
— The Looney Tunes Show art
A legitimate question, young man, deserving a legitimate answer. Now then, I can easily understand why it should puzzle you that a person of my intelligence, I.Q. 207 super genius, should devote his valuable time chasing this ridiculous road runner, this bird that appears to be so skinny, scrawny, stringy, unappetizing, anemic, ugly and misbegotten. Ah, but how little you know about road runners. Actually, the road runner is to the taste buds of a coyote, what caviar, champagne, filet mignon and chocolate fudge are to the taste buds of a man.
— The Looney Tunes Show intelligence
Let me see now. It is obvious that this is no ordinary rabbit. Therefore, I must dream up a brilliant master strategy, ingenious, daring.
— The Looney Tunes Show dream
At last, after 2,000 years of work, the Illudium PU36 Explosive Space Modulator. At long last, my dream come true.
— The Looney Tunes Show work
We must capture a live earth creature K-9, and take it back with us to Mars. Isnt that a nice assignment, mmm?
— The Looney Tunes Show art
Daffy: I claim this planet in the name of the Earth! Marvin: I claim this planet in the name of Mars! Hmmm, isnt that lovely?
— The Looney Tunes Show love
Ugh, another delusional fan trying to emulate the famous trench scene. How many lives must that accursed film claim?!
— The Looney Tunes Show man
Did you know that when you are in love it is almost impossible to get insurance? But then, security isnt everything.
— The Looney Tunes Show love
Ahh, this little one wishes to commit suicide to prove her love for me. What a sweet gesture. Nevertheless, I must prevent it!
— The Looney Tunes Show love
As a distinguished colleague of mine once noted: There is very little difference between men and women but viva la difference!
— The Looney Tunes Show women
How do you like that? A touching gesture no? She would rather come into some suicide than leave without me. It, uh, makes you humble and sort of proud. laughs Oh sure, I realize it is just a command soen guard minx!
— The Looney Tunes Show man
Hello babyYou look sweet upon the seat of a camel that has been for two. *cat runs away* I am going to follow you!
— The Looney Tunes Show hell
Eenie, meenie, miney mo, catch a lover by the toe, if she holler, hold her closer; eenie, meenie, miney mosa. O-U-T spells I love you!
— The Looney Tunes Show love
There are plenty of fish in the ocean if you like fish. Personally, I prefer girls. Hmm, call it a weakness.
— The Looney Tunes Show you
I tell you what. You stop resisting me, and I, I will stop resisting you. When have you had a better offer than that?
— The Looney Tunes Show you
She want to play it the lovers chase. It is a little girl in her. Cest lamour. Look petite one! I am the lover chaser! Observe, I chase you!
— The Looney Tunes Show love
I am the broken heart of love. I am the disillusioned. I am wish to enlist in the Foreign Legion so I may forget. Take me
— The Looney Tunes Show love
Why do they all go? Why do they leave the fort? laughs Oh but of course! Already I have achieved a post of honor! I have been left to defend the fort! Viva le Republic!
— The Looney Tunes Show honor
Come, pink pigeon, we are wasting valuable time! Oh-ho, we are going to play Ali Thief and the 40 Babas yes? En guard rabbit! I am going to find you!
— The Looney Tunes Show time
Huh? What is this? Oh, but of course! This small one, she is wish to put on her face before we continue the wooing! Such dainty rabbits these days. I love them
— The Looney Tunes Show love
You know, one of the mysteries of my life is, why a woman run away when all she really wish is to be captured.
— The Looney Tunes Show life
All right butterduck, you have done all that could be expected. You have resisted your natural impulses and run away from me.
— The Looney Tunes Show you
Come back darling, golden violet! I will unshy you! You are just insecure. All you need is a little occupational therapy, like making love!
— The Looney Tunes Show love
Pretty good, eh? *grabs cat* For a growing boy that is! Because darling I am a boy and I am growing fonder of you everyday
— The Looney Tunes Show good
Charlie Dog: Look, if you doubt my word, get me a Labrador, and Ill retrieve it for you. Thats fair, isnt it?
— The Looney Tunes Show doubt
Red Hot Ryder: reading envelope To Red Hot Ryder. Thats me-hee, thats me-hee, thats me-hee. opening letter, then reading it Roses are red. Violets are pink. Flowers smell good, but you sure s--- the rest of the last word is censored I sure WHAT?!?
— The Looney Tunes Show reading
Bugs Bunny: STINK., YOU FOOL, STINK.! pulls Red Hot Ryders hat over his head and makes off before snickering during that So long, Flaptop!
— The Looney Tunes Show you
Red Hot Ryder: puts his hat back up and realizes that hes been tricked again, and gasps in shock, stammering TH---TH---TH---THE MASKED MARAUDER!!! Which way did he go, part, which way did he go?
— The Looney Tunes Show art
Daffy Duck: disguised as Bugs Eh whats up, doc? Havin any luck with those ducks? Its duck season, yknow!
— The Looney Tunes Show sea
Rocky: Take me with you! Dont leave me with that crazy rabbit! I confess! I did it! Arrest me! Arrest me!
— The Looney Tunes Show you
Bugs Bunny: Of course, if you really want to make something good, nothing beats a good old Louisiana Back-bay Bayou Bunny Bordelaise, a la Antoine.
— The Looney Tunes Show good
Speedy Gonzales: We interrupt this program again for some very exciting news. The duck with the pistole seems to be tied up at the moment; so back to the party with nothing but twist music. Everybody twist!
— The Looney Tunes Show art
Wile E. Coyote: Your honer, I condemn the Road Runner has ignored the intently fatality of this Acme merchindice, committing numerous violations of.
— The Looney Tunes Show you

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