The Shield

Vic: I got one in the chamber, dickhead. Your homeys were too stoned to notice. One of you shoots me, my muscle twitch takes out your bad boy here. So, either you and I are gonna leave this basement together, or were gonna leave this life together. You decide.

— The Shield life

Vic: So while the men from U.N.C.L.E. are cruising down Alvarado looking for Osama, Ill be sweatin some good, old-fashioned, trash-talking American dipshit!

— The Shield men

Vic: Thats funny. I dont recall having signed up for an ethics lesson from a scumbag defense lawyer.

— The Shield funny

Claudette: Right now Vic Mackey may look like a mighty big catch to you. Do the smart thing, son. Cut bait.

— The Shield art

Claudette: Al Capone made money by giving people what they wanted. What people want these days is to make it to their cars without getting mugged. Come home from work and see their stereo is still there. Hear about some murder in the barrio, find out the next day the police caught the guy. If having all those things means some cop roughed up some nigger or some spic in the ghettowell, as far as most people are concerned its dont ask, dont tell.

— The Shield people

Vic: I got tapes and witnesses, asshole. Only question left is whether you took a header into the concrete trying to resist arrest.

— The Shield you

Shane: You know the I lost my husband tragically but Im still young and hot and in need of an emotional release kind of sex. Whoo!

— The Shield sex

Tio: Let them have the corner, move three blocks over. Dopers follow the dope. Pissing off the beanpie crowd just gives them a reason to live.

— The Shield reason

Tio: Mmm-hmm. Now, if Im done filling out the job application, lets talk about how much rents gonna be.

— The Shield job

Aceveda: When we get there you should do all the talking. Coming from you, a plea for peace will sound more

— The Shield peace

Gilroy: Well, stop. We got cops bleeding out in the streets. Half the districts on fire. There is no other case.

— The Shield fire

Danny: No, sir, youre a suspect because 19 guys who look like your twin brother killed 3,000 Americans.

— The Shield america

Barney: Well, if I didnt take it, Id look guilty. And, you said it was a government test, so I figured, how reliable could it be?

— The Shield men

Vic: If youre such a good boy then do as I say. Pack up your shit, and get on the next donkey back to home.

— The Shield good

Dutch: Until he tired of his domination and control Dr. Mengele experiments and decided to squeeze the last breath out of her so he could watch.

— The Shield men

Shane: Hey, when it comes to your partners career, truth is like grits. You dont serve it up plain, pour the salt on it! God-damn rookies.

— The Shield truth

Claudette: I got a dead drug dealer, I got a suspect, whos probably skipped town and the only person who can shed any light on it is a uncooperative cop with a bad rap. You want me to let his case just slip away son?

— The Shield light

Dutch: Not about me. Maybe about the rest of humanity bunch of sociopathic little narcissists out for ourselves. Begging stealing lying screwing raping killing our babies. Whatever it takes to have a good time and save our own asses. I cant even believe in an old woman whos too sick to feed herself, and its not sad its not some big surprise. Its just nature. Were animals nothing more. And ya know what? Im learning to be OK with that.

— The Shield time

Vic: See that one-niner over there? Ive done a few favors for his crew out on the street. Hes willing to pay me back. One phone call from me and youre greenlit!

— The Shield you

Vic: Its an American prison term. It means youll be shanked in the shower asshole, bleed out before the guards even know youre late for breakfast.

— The Shield america

Vic: You know hes out there, you know hes got the kid, and all you can think about is saving your own ass.

— The Shield you

Vic: I guess I must have missed something. Last person I saw you kissing was a little more male. Sure you know what youre doing?

— The Shield sin

Vic: Ive got a team member in the Burn Unit, the guy who did it out on the street and you think now is a good time to screw with my family.

— The Shield time

Claudette: I think Armadillo went to your house looking for you Vic. Lucky your wife and kids didnt end up in the Burn Ward.

— The Shield war

Vic: Include whatever youd like. And tell those amateurs you got following me they might as well take the rest of the day off!

— The Shield hate

Vic: The law only allows us so much latitude. These guys have rights too. Im a cop. I have to honor that.

— The Shield law

Vic: Hey, lets remember where this Armenian moneys coming from. Prostitution, drugs, robberies-- and the rest of this cash is just gonna finance more of the same. They didnt earn it, I dont feel bad about taking it.

— The Shield money

Vic: Theres only four people who know we took that money, and theyre all sitting right here. Stick to the plan.

— The Shield people

Vic: Why dont you roll the dice on a 20-year stretch, see how good we spellchecked. Or can get your ass on the phone with Garza, and tell him you got new shipments of Asian-Coke youre selling at deep discounts. POOF!

— The Shield men

Dutch: This is a guy who raped a woman, didnt leave a single hair fiber. No. Not only have I been chasing the wrong guy, I caught him.

— The Shield man

Vic: Oops! Next time I wont knock so hard. Put your clothes on, walk out the door and change your taste in men.

— The Shield time

Vic: Just for the record, I have no problem working with the decoy squad. But we dont work for them.

— The Shield work

Aceveda: I went after a suspect today, and I kicked the shit out of him. The only thing that stopped me was I started to piss my pants. Im losing control of everything

— The Shield art

Rigoberto: Youre a captain. You command 200 men, hell youre gonna be the next city councilman. You have power, David. You have a gun and a badge. Now these were just a couple of punk assholes. Do you know who they are?

— The Shield power

Dutch: You see something like that, you wonder if we all shouldnt just stay home and read the bible.

— The Shield bible

Vic: But Im never gonna let this happen again. Im no good half in half out. Now you gotta make a choice. You either let me do what I do, or Ill pull the plug on the Strike Team. Take my boys to another part of town.

— The Shield art

Lem: Come on, a Captain in the middle of the night, and he runs into them? Thats a pretty big coincidence.

— The Shield night

Vic: Unless its not a coincidence. Body gets carried out What if these are the guys Diagur sent to get the money out of the freezer?

— The Shield money

Shane: Well if its true, then these are the assholes who kicked the shit out of Aceveda. Took his gun. Which means he was tracking them here when this thing went down.

— The Shield true

William: Is that who you think you were chasing this whole time? A type? Some answer on an exam? Who would you be chasing right now if you hadnt stumbled over my parking tickets?

— The Shield time

Shane: Just because were on this team, doesnt mean we cant become a problem. If theres one thing Vics good at, its solving problems.

— The Shield good

Shane: Hey, if Vic ever thought that me and Mara were becoming a problem, youd let me know wouldnt you?

— The Shield thought

Operator: Hello, youve reached the Police Departments main switchboard. Please listen carefully to the following options. To be connected to a supervisor, because one of our jackbooted thugs mistreated you, and you want his goddamn badge, press one.

— The Shield god

Operator: If youre shirtless and threatening your girlfriend with a knife, and dont want one of our officers interfering with true love, press three.

— The Shield love

Choi: I discussed the situation with community leaders. If they chose to warn him theres nothing I can do.

— The Shield war

Corrine: I cant spend every second with him. Youyou, cant take him, what are we supposed to do? Put him in a home?

— The Shield home

Lem: You guys, you guys are the only family I got, alright? Im not gonna let any of us go to prison.

— The Shield family

Lem: Ive always gone along with everything you ever wanted, and all its done is get us deeper and deeper into shit.

— The Shield you

Dutch: Vic knew the name of the bar that OBrien says he found the marked money in. You and I were the only ones who saw the case file.

— The Shield money

Dutch: Heres a guy who can overturn the Armenian mob in a week, but hasnt been able to find anything on the money train in three months? If hes that good, how does a multi-million dollar laundering ring get ripped off in his backyard without him knowing anything about it?

— The Shield money

Vic: Good. Ill dictate, you dial! hands him the phone You tell him that Goma called, sounded strange. He wanted a one way ticket towhere would someone go to hide from Margos?

— The Shield strange

Vic: Good. You tell him, that Goma wanted the ticket delivered to him, at his house. Try not to sound too stuffy.

— The Shield good

Aveceda: I spoke to Ben Hortons boss and the Chief. He wasnt too please to hear what youd been doing.

— The Shield you

Claudette: You mean to tell me this entire house would rather me pack up and leave, rather than look into this?

— The Shield you

Aceveda: Chief and I did discuss this house and whos gonna run it when I leave. Hes decided to go another way. Bring in somebody else.

— The Shield body

Antwon: Damn, cancers rough. But he was always talkin about how he was gonna piss on my grave. Guess I gotta go grab a forty and pay my respects.

— The Shield respect

Vic: Well, why did you write a four-page letter sabotaging it? I just got off the phone with someone who owes me a favor over there. You goddamn buried me with the selection committee.

— The Shield god

Vic: You stabbed me in the back! You didnt want me to find out about it until you ran out of here, right?

— The Shield you

Aceveda: Oh, you mean that load of crap you sold me for a goddamn, nine minor busts? Yeah, I saw you tap-dancing on that one for a few weeks. So while you were out on the street strutting your stuff, I made Ronnie run through every bust you had working. And it didnt take long.

— The Shield god

Vic: That kids a novice. He was swallowing open jums of crack. I induced vomiting. Saved his goddamn life. Were still allowed to save lives right?

— The Shield life

Vic: Sure, Ill have one for you day after tomorrow. Oh thats right, youll be gone. Ill mail one to ya!

— The Shield ya

Examiner: Take your pick. Sclerosis, malnutrition, official cause was suffocation. Aspirated on his own vomit. Christ, this guy was the Assistant Police Chief? What happened?

— The Shield christ

Rawling: Explain to me why taking this house was the right thing to do yesterday, and the wrong thing today.

— The Shield right

Claudette: You had a chat with Beth Encardi? If we carried the Webster case, maybe theyd let us out of the doghouse? Something along those lines.

— The Shield you

Dutch: Fine. I confess. At least now were getting confessions from other people too. Real criminals, killers.

— The Shield people

Dutch: Youre the best partner I ever had, I hung in with you, waiting for you to see this through, instead you just dug yourself in further. I wasnt going to sit on my hands, and watch you wreck your career and mine along with it. I got dinged pretty good in this too you know-

— The Shield art

Dutch: And you lost. So I threw in the towel with the DA and Id do it again. And if you wanna be pissed at me, fine. Go ahead!

— The Shield you

Rawling: Councilman. Getting me up there under the pretext of soliciting public support and then undermining me. Huh. Thanks for the crash-course in sandbagging.

— The Shield man

Rawling: Dont you have enough to do on city council? Or is this some power-trip of doing my job as well?

— The Shield power

Aceveda: Actually, my job duties now include Vice-Chairing the Police Committee. Helping oversee how these seizures are implemented.

— The Shield men

Dutch: You know, I thought I hated being on the DAs shit-list, but this is actually worse. II cant believe youre still freezing me out.

— The Shield hate

Rawling: We do the bust for you, get the heroin off the street. You get closer to Antwon Mitchell, and your agents cover isnt busted.

— The Shield age

Rawling: The DEAs set up on a One-Niner bar, One-Niners are front and center on the tar trade. Im a local, not a moron.

— The Shield

Vic : Ahh, the only difference between you and Aceveda, is you fooled me into thinking you actually had a goddamn backbone!

— The Shield god

Rawling: You were the red-headed step-child when I arrived here. I put my ass on the line to give you a second chance when nobody else would. I gave you power, I gave you respect. So keep your mouth shut before you lose both! I know this is hard, but I need you to look at the bigger picture.

— The Shield power

Rawling: I also looked into the crime stats. The numbers are up because you manipulated yours to make things look better. Im getting punished because I reported mine accurately.

— The Shield man

Aceveda: Sounds to me like nows a good time to start formulating an exit strategy for the seizure policy.

— The Shield time

Rawling: The only person who can take me off this is the Chief and not without one hell of a fight from me.

— The Shield hell

Aceveda: Well then, Id start training. I just spoke to him. Hes still blue in the face from having to explain to the ACLU lawyers why you put a cop like Vic, in charge of such a controversial program.

— The Shield art

Aceveda: Starting tonight, Vic is the face of that church invasion. Pulling him off the street might buy you some slack.

— The Shield art

Shane: No, no, no no, I, Im Im explaining, Vic, pl-please, listen to me. Goddamnit, listen to me. Look, Antwon killed Angie right in front of me and Army. He did it with our guns itits what I came to talk to you about.

— The Shield god

Shane: Its nothing that we havent done before. Look, hes squeezing us. He says the body will turn up if, if, if I dont But, I would never do that. Never! You know that! Look, I was just bluffing him to buy time. We took a run at Halpern, he showed us where Angies body was, but we cant get to it just the two of us. Armys gun went off Look, Halperns still alive. But once Antwon finds out, Im dead. I got Mara and Jackson out of town, but Im.look Im in trouble man. I dont know how it got this deep.

— The Shield time

Vic: Warrant? I just saw your door busted wide open, wanted to make sure youre okay. Sarcastically You okay? The One-Niners started a campaign against police informants.

— The Shield war

Shane: That poor little kid. Hes gonna be found face down, in the shower, with a back full of shiv and an ass full of cum. Word hits the street, whats that gonna make you look like, huh? I mean, your people dont cop with the homo vibe.

— The Shield people

Shane: Yeah? But you know with all that money, all that power, at the end of the day, youre still just a nigger! With a faggot nigger son! And wheres the respect in that?! HUH? Wheres the respect in that?!

— The Shield power

Kavanaugh: Why is it that the guy with the conscience always gets caught holding the bag? And we dont ever want that guy, do we? We want the guy that put him into motion.

— The Shield science

Shane: So we close a triple murder before breakfast, start a race war before dinner. Thats a pretty good day.

— The Shield war

Vic: Its this Terry thing. You thought I was hiding something from you. Heres the truth I swept through that house. I cleared that bathroom. At least I thought I did. Somehow Two-Time got past me. I left Terry exposed I made a mistake. I never told anybody. I thought it was my fault. Thats something Ive been living with for a long time now. Finally, I decided to move on. Something youre gonna have to push past too.

— The Shield truth

Vic: You don’t understand. We’re not the typical lowlifes that you represent. We’re a family. We’re surviving this together, or we go down together.

— The Shield life

Corrine: Some IAD guy’s been coming to the kids’ school. Trying to get me to say things about him.

— The Shield school

Kavanaugh: What I do is stop cops from breaking the rules. I can’t stop them if I can’t stop myself.

— The Shield self

Antwon: Shane Vendrell. I could bury this banjo playing asshole. Bitch likes to talk the walk, but if you put a boot on his throat, his eyes tear up like a little bitch. And bitches, they give up their buddies. That’s what makes them bitches!

— The Shield you

Kavanaugh: And Mackey skates clean? This guy this guy is just pissing just pissing all over us, and we just smile and lick it up? Vic Mackey kills cops! He he deals drugs! He beats suspects! You know what he did yesterday? He he screwed my ex-wife with the sole purpose of making this investigation seem like a personal vendetta. He may have assassinated a gang leader. And thats just all in one day. I wonder what hes going to do today. I wonder what hes going to do tomorrow. This guy this guy is just pissing hes pissing all over us. Hes pissing on you. What does it taste like? Chief, what does it taste like, cause you know what, it tastes like piss to me!

— The Shield purpose

Kavanaugh: I just.. Can you just.. Tell me what he did, just tell me what happened. Just, whatd he do?

— The Shield you

Dutch: Youll do fine. Whoever sits up there has to have an active mistrust of everyone and everything in this place. I cant imagine anyone better suited to the job.

— The Shield trust

Claudette: Track down whatever you can find. Run everything by me. And Vic, that renegade s--t’s not gonna fly on my watch, but you already knew that.

— The Shield hate

Vic: It means you just stepped onto an entirely new playing field. And for your sake, I hope you know the rules of the game.

— The Shield hope

Kavanaugh: Truth is, it isn’t your time yet. But the universe will take out its trash. It always does.

— The Shield truth

Dutch: Walter Chatton was a contemporary of Occam; disputed the razor. Coined his own anti-razor. Chatton believed that the world was too complex; there are too many variables to assume the simplest answer was always the correct one.

— The Shield world

Dutch: Um, let me go first. What happened last night--we were both vulnerable, and a little lonely. One time thing between good friends. No reason for us to get all uncomfortable.

— The Shield time

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