Torchwood

Rhys: Its both, you bunch of nuts. You cant see for looking, can you? Eh? Look. Right, Shanghai, Buenos Aires. Buenos Aires, Shanghai. Opposite sides of the world. Quite literally, opposite sides of the Earth, yeah? Yeah? So whatevers going on, theres got to be something connecting them.

— Torchwood art

Jack: There you go! I can taste it! Oestrogen. Definitely oestrogen. Take the pill, flush it away, it enters the water cycle. Feminizes the fish. Goes all the way up into the sky then falls all the way back down onto me. Contraceptives in the rain. Love this planet. Still, at least I wont get pregnant. Never doing that again.

— Torchwood love

PC Andy: Ill bet you ten quid theyre DNA specialists. Its all DNA these days. Like that CSI bollocks. CSI Cardiff, Id like to see that. Theyd be measuring the velocity of a kebab!

— Torchwood you

Gwen: But hold on, if no one can see it when the lifts coming up, theres a great big bloody hole in the floor. Dont people fall in?

— Torchwood people

Jack: Actually, while weve been eating, the computers have been running a full bio-scan on Carys, profiling her blood, metabolism, organs, the works. So we can see what effect the alien is having on her. Theyve also been taking samples of the air in the cell, so we can analyse any change in the environment around her. Now, is that enough? Do you want more? Cause gets kind of boring.

— Torchwood change

Gwen: Youve been hidden down here too long. Spending so much time with the alien stuff. Youve lost what it means to be human.

— Torchwood time

Jack: Tosh was right - she went straight for the ex-boyfriend. Lucky shes young; work your way through my back catalogue, well be here till the Sun explodes.

— Torchwood work

Jack: Im sorry. You were the guys that gave up looking for a nineteen year old kid this morning! I thought you might be up for something more exciting!

— Torchwood thought

Gwen: No! No! It was as real as this! More real! I didnt just see that little boy! I knew what he was thinking! Like I was lost!

— Torchwood thinking

Owen: Look Ive shared cars with women before, I know whatll happen, theres an emergency, all raring to go, I jump in, what do I find? Seats in the wrong position, rear view mirrors out of line, steering wheels in my crotch. By time Ive sorted all that out, aliens will have taken Newport!

— Torchwood women

Jack: Were a secret organization hunting alien technology from an underground base, and you want a rota for who drives.

— Torchwood technology

Ianto: Its not alright! Theyre going to come looking for me in a minute! If they see the body, If they find out what weve been doing-!

— Torchwood body

Ianto: My loyaltys to her. She worked for Torchwood. She was caught up in the battle. I owe it to Lisa, we owe it to her, to find a cure.

— Torchwood work

Jack: Ianto, you have to believe me, there is no cure. There never will be. Those who are converted stay that way - Your girlfriend will not be the exception.

— Torchwood believe

Jack: Look, you need to know whats happening here. Because this is where these things start: Small decisions that become mass slaughter. These creatures regain a foothold by exploiting human weakness. Then they take a base, rebuild their forces, and before you know it, the Cyber race is spreading out across the universe, erasing worlds, assimilating populations, all because of the tiny beginnings here. We need to stop her together!

— Torchwood art

Jack: She already tried to kill Gwen! You think shes gonna stop there? There is no turning back for her now!

— Torchwood you

Ianto: Im not giving up on her! I love her. Can you understand that, Jack? Havent you ever loved anyone?

— Torchwood love

Jack: You need to figure out whose side youre on here, because if you dont know, youre not going to make it out of this alive.

— Torchwood live

Jack: You brought this down on us. You hid her. You hid yourself from us. Now its time for you to stand as part of the team.

— Torchwood time

Ianto: I wont do it. You cant make me. You like to think youre a hero, but youre the biggest monster of all!

— Torchwood you

Jack: Because theyre part of us. Part of our world, yet we know nothing about them. So we pretend to know what they look like. We see them as happy, we imagine they have tiny little wings and are bathed in moonlight.

— Torchwood art

Jack: No. Think dangerous. Think something you can only half-see, like a glimpse, like something out of the corner of your eye. With a touch of myth, a touch of the spirit world, a touch of reality all jumbled together, old moments and memories that are frozen in amongst it. Like debris, spinning around a ring planet, tossing, turning, whirling backwards and forwards through time.

— Torchwood war

Ianto: Youre used to this, arent you? That facial expression you all share. When things get a bit, out of control. Like you enjoy it. Like you get a high from the danger.

— Torchwood joy

Ianto: Dont you ever wonder how long you can survive before you go mad, or get killed, or lose a loved one?

— Torchwood love

Jack: You need to know something. A long time ago, I was pretty good at torture. I had quite a reputation as the go-to guy. My job demanded, at the time, see. So I know where to apply the tiniest amount of pressure to a wound like yours

— Torchwood time

Jack: Its in your power to make me stop. Just tell me what I need to know! Cause in ten seconds, Im going to find a sharp object.

— Torchwood power

Tosh: Whats most amazing are the similarities with our own culture. But that can be horrible, cause we find lots of weapons and it just makes you think, My God, everything wages war. Its not just a trait of ours, but a trait of existence. It makes you feel so hopeless! But then there are times-- We found this thing, it was about A-4 size, and it had all these symbols on it. And it took me about three months to translate, and it was a letter someone had written to his family, to his children, to say how much he was missing them! It just made me cry, because I thought, even across these unimaginable distances, there are fundamentals that stay exactly the same. And theres no one to talk to about this. I mean, the guys at work, theyre great, but they dont see it the way I do.

— Torchwood god

Suzie: Captain, my Captain! Do you want to know a secret? Theres something moving in the dark and its coming, Jack Harkness. Its coming for you.

— Torchwood dark

Gwen: See, Im not so sure. Something feels very odd. I just feel like theres something going on

— Torchwood

Eugene: The average life is full of near misses and absolute hits. Of great love and small disasters. Its made up of banana milkshakes, loft insulation and random shoes. Its dead ordinary and truly, truly amazing. What youve got to realize is, its all here, now. So breathe deep and swallow it whole. Because take it from me: life just whizzes by, and then, all of a sudden, its--

— Torchwood love

Ianto: There are wave-bouncing detectors which emit high-frequency radio waves and then they throw reflections -

— Torchwood reflection

Jack: Nice try, Owen, I want you back at the hub immediately. Weve got a Weevil murder, so get your bony little ass over here now.

— Torchwood evil

Owen: For a few seconds in that cage, I felt totally at peace And the you blunder in. Do you always know best, Jack? Is that what you believe?

— Torchwood peace

Jack: I went to war when I was a boy. I was with my best friend. We got caught crossing the border over enemy lines. They tortured him, not me, because he was weaker. They made me watch him die. And they let me go.

— Torchwood war

Jack: The worst possible creatures you can imagine. I persuaded him to join up. I said it would be an adventure. He hadnt lived.

— Torchwood adventure

Tosh: He would have been so proud that you took his name. Cause here you are, saving the world. To Captain Jack.

— Torchwood world

Ianto: And I heard but did not understand and I said, Master, what is the end of all things? And he said, Go, Daniel, for the things are closed up and sealed until the end of time. Daniel 12, verse 10.

— Torchwood time

Ianto: No. Plenty more where that came from. Abaddon, the Great Devourer, wholl lead the world into shadow.

— Torchwood world

Jack: Yeah, thanks, Ianto. I could do without the superstition; You people love any story that denies the randomness of existence.

— Torchwood love

Jack: Under any other circumstances, an exuberant Roman soldier would be my idea of a perfect morning.

— Torchwood man

Gwen: So, what sort of vision did you have? We all saw people we loved, asking us to open the Rift. Who did you see?

— Torchwood love

Jack: Oh yeah, I love that office-y feel. I always get excited in these places. To me theyre exotic. Office romances Photocopying your butt well, maybe not your butt, although whilst were here why dont we photo-

— Torchwood love

Ianto: The rift was active at these coordinates, approximately 200 feet above ground. That means this floor or the roof.

— Torchwood

Jack: Can we maybe drop the Sir now? I mean, while I was away, I was thinking, maybe we couldYou know, when this is all doneDinner, a movie?

— Torchwood thinking

Jack: Working as fast as we can. If we dont, were all at the centre of the blast radius- we wont feel a thing.

— Torchwood work

Jack: I left home a long time ago. Dont know where I really belongMaybe that doesnt matter any more.

— Torchwood time

Gwen: Have you never seen something so mad, so extraordinary That just for one second, you think there might be more out there?

— Torchwood you

Owen: So the protein chains are regenerating, despite the mutilations. So not only is it replenishing its own flesh, but its increasing it, giving them a brand new meat supply.

— Torchwood sin

Rhys: Well, if you stopped and asked me exactly what I saw in there instead of showin off round the place-

— Torchwood you

Rhys: -Youd know that I got out by telling them I wanted a job as a delivery boy! So rather than cock things up, I found you a way to get in! But if you cant handle that, big boy, then you can stuff it!

— Torchwood live

Owen: It’s my birthday, ten. My mum spends the whole day screaming, ‘I love you because you’re my son but that doesn’t mean I have to like you.’

— Torchwood love

Owen: Turned sixteen, she packs my bags. That is the nicest thing you’ve done for me in years mother.

— Torchwood mother

Tosh: Knowing there has to be more to life than this, knowing I’m special, waiting for someone to see it.

— Torchwood life

Jack: If youve got forever, you dont notice the flecks in the concrete, or bother to touch the bricks You send your friends into danger, knowing the stakes arent the same for you, that you might get them killed — while you walk away unscathed.

— Torchwood friends

Ianto: I have searched for the phrase I shall walk the Earth and my hunger shall know no bounds, but I keep getting redirected to Weight Watchers

— Torchwood art

Owen: Yeah, I was brought back. Like Jesus really, but without the beard, you know. Shit, Im never gonna have a beard. Not that I wanted one, you understand, but you know, one day I

— Torchwood jesus

Maggie: Okay, youre dead, and clearly thats a bit shit, and Im sorry and everything, but if, if you are dead, then why are you here? You cant be wanting to jump, you cant die twice!

— Torchwood you

Owen: Oh, come on! Even Tosh had more of a life than you used to. And now youre always out on missions, youre shagging Jack, and Im stuck here making the coffee!

— Torchwood life

Owen: Yeah, yeah You and Jack. Gwens getting married, Marthas got her bloke - God, even Tosh had Tommy! This really is shit!

— Torchwood god

Ianto: Weve all gone through shit. Ive seen you dissect alien corpses, Ive seen you save so many livesare you really going to let this beat you?

— Torchwood man

Rhys: Forget the money, I want you where they can look after you, right? Getting married today doesnt matter.

— Torchwood money

Gwen: It matters to me!! Its not about the money, Rhys. I want to marry you! Today. Whatever happens. If the skies suddenly fills full of spaceships, or an army of Weevils climbs out of the drains on St. Marys Street, you fool! Do you not understand what Im saying, Rhys Williams? All I want to do today is marry you. Thats all I want to do.

— Torchwood money

Ianto: I was brought up not to speak ill of the dead. Even if they do still do most of their talking for themselves.

— Torchwood dead

Ianto: Thats what I love about Torchwood. By day, youre chasing the scum of the universe, come midnight youre the wedding fairy.

— Torchwood love

Gwen: Torchwood doesnt do maternity leave - Sorry Jack, Id love to deal with those aliens but I cant find a babysitter, No, no, no, Ill sort out that bomb once Ive dropped Rhys Jr. off at nursery.

— Torchwood love

Rhys: Shut up, Im talking now, right? You do it so people can live their lives. And theres nothing more important than that. Falling in love, getting married, buying flats, having kids or not. But real life, thats what youre protecting. And if youre starting to think that your shit is more important than real life, then were not going to last very long here, love.

— Torchwood love

Andy: Listen, I was going to askpromise me you wont laugh. Have you got any vacancys coming up? You know, with Torchwood? I was thinking, Im great to work withYou know, tip em the wink?

— Torchwood work

Alex: We got it wrong, Jack. We thought we could control the stuff we found. And whats it brought us? So much death.

— Torchwood death

Alex: Its good youre here. Always did have great timing. This place, its yours. Torchwood Three. My gift to you, Jack, for a century of service as field operative. Fill this place with purpose. Before its too late. Please.

— Torchwood purpose

Jack: I dont have time for this! Look, I dont care what your problem is, I want you out of this city by sunrise! There is no place for you here! Go back to London, and find another life! Keep stalking me, and Ill wipe your memory!

— Torchwood life

Owen: If youre not a figment of my imagination, then I dont know whats happening anymore. Maybe this is what a mental breakdown feels like.

— Torchwood men

John: Heres whats going to happen: everything you love, everything you treasure, will die. Im gonna tear your world apart, Captain Jack Harkness, piece by piece. Starting now.

— Torchwood love

Owen: Sshh, come on Tosh, theres no way you could have anticipated that power spike, come on. Besides youve saved my back so many times in the past, right from the moment I joined.

— Torchwood time

Tosh: Your second week, I had to cover for you, pretend I was a medic because you were hung over and unreachable.

— Torchwood you

Owen: We never did get that date did we, you and me? We sort of, uh, missed each other. Was my fault, didnt notice until it was too late, Im sorry.

— Torchwood you

Jack: We need a child. Cause we need to test those frequencies. Find the right frequency, and we can find out whos transmitting.

— Torchwood child

Ianto: Whered you get a child, though? I could find you lasers and weevils and hitchhikers, but kids

— Torchwood evil

Alice: In Italy. With her. He finally got married. But he phones every now and then and sends Steven postcards, remembers his birthdayThere are worse fathers.

— Torchwood father

Jack: Alice, youre the one who asked me to stay away. Id come round here every week if you wanted me to, every day.

— Torchwood you

Alice: Yeah I just cant stand it, Dad. I look older than you do, and thats never going to stop. I get older and older, and you stay the same. One day, youre going to be standing at my funeral - Looking just like you did standing at Mums. No wonder she was so furious; you make us feel old.

— Torchwood wonder

Rhiannon: Susan on the corner was in town, and it was her anniversary, so they went to that posh french place in town by the memorial, and there was you.

— Torchwood you

Rhiannon: She said it was intimate. I said well hes had girlfriends, and she said, well no girl was getting her feet around that table. No chance! Have you gone bender?

— Torchwood friends

Ianto: Its weird. Its just different. Its not..men, itsits just him. Its only him. And I dont even know what it is really, soso Im not broadcasting it.

— Torchwood men

Rhys: I dont question how you defend the world against extraterrestrial infiltration - dont you question my knowledge of the hauling industry, right?

— Torchwood knowledge

Jack: Worse than that, do I have to stay in these clothes? I mean, come on! Tracksuit bottoms? Not a good look!

— Torchwood good

Jack: Im a fixed point in time and space. Thats what the Doctor says. I think that means its forever.

— Torchwood time

Alice: I can only assume that youre holding me here as insurance against my father. But let me warn you; If youve angered him, then God help you.

— Torchwood god

Alice: And why dyou think I did that? A man who cant die has got nothing to fear. So you watch it. And you keep watching.

— Torchwood fear

Jack: Theres a saying here on Earth. A very old, very wise friend of mine taught me it; An injury to one is an injury to all. And when people act accordingly to the philosophy, the human race is the finest species in the universe.

— Torchwood philosophy

Ianto: Never mind the philosophy. What hes saying is, youre not getting one solitary, single child. The deal is off.

— Torchwood philosophy

Gwen: Theres one thing I always wanted to ask Jack. Back in the old days. I wanted to know about that Doctor of his. The man who appears out of nowhere and saves the world; except sometimes he doesnt. All those times in history where there was no sign of himI wanted to know why not. But I dont need to ask anymore. I know the answer now: Sometimes the Doctor must look at this planet and turn away in shame. Im recording this in case anyone ever finds it, so you can see. You can see how the world ended.

— Torchwood time

Gwen: My husband is still out there with everything youve done recorded on his laptop. One word from me, and he will release that information to the public.

— Torchwood you

Frobisher: Were at a tipping point right now. Civilisations about to fall into hell. You want to start that descent a little earlier? Go ahead.

— Torchwood art

Andy: Everyones on stand-by. Its red alert, riot and everything, all ready to mobilize, except no ones saying why. Whats going on?

— Torchwood read

Gwen: Its Torchwood. Thats what did it. They give you Retcon, chemicals and radiation and god knows what. The bloody Pill didnt stand a chance. Thats what Torchwood does, you seeit ruins your life.

— Torchwood life

Alice: While everyone else just stays indoors. Ninety percent just hugging their kids, not making a sound, just like they did before.I dont even know your name.

— Torchwood you

Alice: Not much good now, are you? Even if ninety percent look the other way, what sort of world are you leaving behind? I swear to you: if your duty is to protect the state above and beyond any other authority, then the one person you need right now is Jack Harkness.

— Torchwood world

Jack: I began to like it. And look what I became. Still, I have lived so many lives. Its time to find another one.

— Torchwood time

Noah: Its like nothing Ive ever seen. The word Torchwood has vanished. Its been eradicated. If you search for Torchwood, you get no results. Nothing gets no results.

— Torchwood you

Noah: Shelves are buried. Its all gone. I asked Yvonne. She said it was classified under the 456 regulations. She said you want to stay away.

— Torchwood you

Share your thoughts on Torchwood quotes with the community: