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Van Helsing 2004

[Dracula sees Igor poking the werewolf with a cattle prod]Count Vladislaus Dracula: Igor!Igor: Yes, Master?Count Vladislaus Dracula: Why do you torment that thing so?Igor: Its what I do.
— Van Helsing 2004 men
Count Vladislaus Dracula: Welcome to my summer place.
— Van Helsing 2004 summer
Van Helsing: Youre going to take them and lead them to the antidote.Igor: No, Im not![Van Helsing grabs Igor with his werewolf strength and throws him violently against the wall]Igor: Yes, I am.
— Van Helsing 2004 strength
Aleera: Anna, my love. It is your blood that shall keep me beautiful. What do you think of that?[laughs triumphantly, then screams as Anna catches a silver stake and impales her through the chest]Anna Valerious: I think if youre going to kill somebody, kill them! Dont stand around talking about it!
— Van Helsing 2004 love
Carl: [while stocking Van Helsings kit for the trip to Transylvania] I dont know. You could blind your enemies, char-broil a herd of chargind wildebeests - use your imagination.Van Helsing: No, Im going to use yours - youre coming with me.Carl: Oh, to hell and be damned I am!Van Helsing: Carl, you just cursed! Not well mind you but youre a monk. You shouldnt curse at all.Carl: Actually Im just a friar so I can curse all I want... dammit!
— Van Helsing 2004 mind
Carl: Now, you wont turn into a werewolf until your first full moon. Thats two days from now. So we have 48 hours to find a solution. But youll still be able to fight Draculas hold over you until the final stroke of midnight.Van Helsing: Sounds like I have nothing to worry about.Carl: Oh, my God, you should be terrified!Van Helsing: Thank you.Carl: Sorry.
— Van Helsing 2004 god
Frankensteins Monster: Youve been bitten. Bitten by a werewolf. Now you will become that which you have hunted so passionately.[Van Helsing takes out a tranquilizer blowgun]Van Helsing: I am sorry...Frankensteins Monster: May others be as passionate in the hunting of you.
— Van Helsing 2004 passion
Van Helsing: Theres something down here, its carnivorous. Whatever it is it appears to be... human. Id say its a size 17, about 360 pounds, 8 and a half to 9 feet tall and he has a bad gimp in his right leg and, ah, 3 copper teeth.Anna Valerious: How do you know he has copper teeth?Van Helsing: Cause hes standing right behind you.[shouts]Van Helsing: Move!
— Van Helsing 2004 hate
Carl: Why does it smell like wet dog in here?Van Helsing: [running past him] Werewolf!Carl: Oh! Youll be needing silver bullets then.[he produces a box of bullets and throws them to Van Helsing, rather deftly]Van Helsing: Well done!
— Van Helsing 2004 past
Van Helsing: This thing... man... whatever it is... evil may have created it, left its mark on it... but evil does not rule it. So I cannot kill it.
— Van Helsing 2004 evil
Carl: [after saving the woman from the vampire children] Theyve all died.Barmaid: Oh, thank you! You saved me.[kisses him on the cheek]Barmaid: How can I repay you?[Carl leans in and whispers something in her ear]Barmaid: But you cant do that! You are a monk!Carl: Actually, Im a just a friar.
— Van Helsing 2004 children
Carl: So you can remember everything about your life from the last seven years, but nothing before that?Van Helsing: Not now, Carl.Carl: There must be something?Van Helsing: [dead serious] I remember fighting the Romans at Masada.Carl: That was in 73 A.D.Van Helsing: You asked.
— Van Helsing 2004 life
Count Vladislaus Dracula: There, there, my lovelies. Do not worry, I shall find another bride.[Draculas brides are appalled]Verona: What?Verona: Have you no heart?Count Vladislaus Dracula: No! I have no heart, I feel no love. Nor fear, nor joy, nor sorrow. I am hollow... and I will live forever.Aleera: Oh, my lord...Verona: It is not so bad.[Draculas mood changes on a dime, and he begins to laugh]Count Vladislaus Dracula: Im at war with the world! And every living soul in it! But soon... the final battle will begin.Aleera: Do we mean so little to you?[said before Verona asks if Dracula has no heart]
— Van Helsing 2004 love
Carl: Here, take this.[he hands Van Helsing a bag, then begins to fill it]Carl: Rings of garlic... holy water... silver stake... crucifix...[they pass two monks test-firing a Gatling gun]Van Helsing: Why cant I have one of those?
— Van Helsing 2004 sin
Van Helsing: Now, Carl, whatever you do, dont stare at him.[he opens the coach door, revealing the Frankenstein Monster shackled into the seat, struggling and snarling]Carl: Im staring at him.[quickly turns away]Carl: Is that a man?Van Helsing: Actually, its seven men. Parts of them, anyway.
— Van Helsing 2004 art
[after Van Helsings first, failed attempt to kill Dracula]Anna Valerious: A silver stake? A crucifix? What, did you think we havent tried everything before? Weve shot him, stabbed him, clubbed him, sprayed him with holy water, staked him through the heart, and STILL he lives! Do you understand? No-one knows how to kill Dracula!Van Helsing: Well, I could have used that information a little earlier.
— Van Helsing 2004 art
Anna Valerious: We Transylvanians always look on the brighter side of death.Van Helsing: Theres a brighter side of death?Anna Valerious: Of course. Its just harder to see.
— Van Helsing 2004 death
Van Helsing: Now, my superiors would like for me to take you alive, so that they might extricate your better half.Mr. Hyde: [laughing] Ill bet they bloody would.Van Helsing: Personally, Id rather just kill you and call it a day. But lets make it your decision, shall we?Mr. Hyde: [pretends to think] Hmm, do lets.[attacks him]
— Van Helsing 2004 sin
[the Werewolf arrives back at Castle Frankenstein and lands next to Dracula, growling menacingly. Dracula ignores him]Count Vladislaus Dracula: Werewolves are such a nuisance during their first full moon, so hard to control.[just as the Werwolf is about to lunge at him, he stops and transforms back to Velkan, writhing in pain. Dracula strides majestically past him]Count Vladislaus Dracula: I send you on a simple errand, to find out who our new friend is, and you have to stop for a little visit with your sister.Velkan: Leave her out of this, Count! She doesnt know your secret, and I am soon to take it to my grave.Count Vladislaus Dracula: Dont wish for death so quickly. I intend for you to be quite useful.Velkan: I would rather die than help you.Count Vladislaus Dracula: Oh, dont be boring, everybody who says that dies.
— Van Helsing 2004 death
Count Vladislaus Dracula: [to the other vampires] Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you... Van Helsing!
— Van Helsing 2004 men
Count Vladislaus Dracula: Youre too late, my friend! My children live!Van Helsing: Then the only way to kill them is to kill you.Count Vladislaus Dracula: Correct.Van Helsing: So be it.
— Van Helsing 2004 children
Van Helsing: I have to pull the bolts off... this is going to hurt!Frankensteins Monster: I am accustomed to pain!Van Helsing: It lets you know youre alive!
— Van Helsing 2004 pain
Count Vladislaus Dracula: Igor... Do unto others...Igor: Before they do it unto me!
— Van Helsing 2004
Top Hat: I see the Wolfman hasnt killed you yet.Van Helsing: Dont worry. Hes getting to it.
— Van Helsing 2004 man
Anna Valerious: Hes the first one to kill a vampire in over a hundred years. Id say thats earned him a drink.
— Van Helsing 2004 vampire
Frankensteins Monster: [hanging from a rope] Help! Help me!Carl: But youre supposed to die!Frankensteins Monster: I want to live!Carl: ...All right.
— Van Helsing 2004 live
Carl: [about his invention] I know what its for! I know what its for!... Where are we going?Van Helsing, Anna Valerious: Through that window!
— Van Helsing 2004 sin
[last lines]Carl: Shes dead.
— Van Helsing 2004 dead
Mr. Hyde: Youre a big one. Youll be hard to digest.Van Helsing: Id hate to be such a nuisance.
— Van Helsing 2004 hate
Van Helsing: Dr. Jekyll, youre wanted by the Knights of the Holy Order...Mr. Hyde: Its Mr. Hyde, now!Van Helsing: for the murder of twelve men, six women, four...Mr. Hyde: [laughing] Four children, three goats, and a rather nasty massacre of poultry!
— Van Helsing 2004 women
Count Vladislaus Dracula: You cant kill me, Victor.[Dracula pushes himself onto the sword Dr. Frankenstein is wielding]Count Vladislaus Dracula: Im already dead.
— Van Helsing 2004 self
Anna Valerious: [after Van Helsing has killed the Werewolf] You killed him!Van Helsing: Now you see why people call me a murderer.
— Van Helsing 2004 people
Frankensteins Monster: Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil. I *will* have my vengeance!
— Van Helsing 2004 death
Van Helsing: I missed you in London.Mr. Hyde: No, you bloody did not![shows Van Helsing a bullet wound]Mr. Hyde: You got me good.
— Van Helsing 2004 good
[Draculas minions have taken all of Frankensteins equipment to castle Dracula]Anna Valerious: Then weve lost.Carl: Dracula cant bring them to life until the sun sets. We still have time.Anna Valerious: Time? The sun sets in two hours, and weve been searching for his lair for over 400 years!Carl: I wasnt around for those 400 years, was I?
— Van Helsing 2004 life
Carl: [after reading something from a book in the tower in the Valerious Manner] Well, thats interesting...[hearing something, he goes to the window and sees hundreds of pygmy bats flying past]Carl: Oh, thats not good! Must... warn... somebody!
— Van Helsing 2004 war
Dr. Victor Frankenstein: Good God... I would kill myself before helping in such a task.Count Vladislaus Dracula: Feel free. I dont actually need you anymore, Victor. I just need him... he is the key.
— Van Helsing 2004 god
Count Vladislaus Dracula: [Draculas bride cower in fear] No, no, no. Do not fear me, everybody else fears me. Not my brides.
— Van Helsing 2004 fear
Count Vladislaus Dracula: I can tell the character of a man by the sound of his heartbeat.[claps his hand in a rhythm of a heartbeat]Count Vladislaus Dracula: Usually when I approach...[claps faster]Count Vladislaus Dracula: I can almost dance to the beat.[claps slower]Count Vladislaus Dracula: Strange that yours is so steady.
— Van Helsing 2004 art
[Anna Valerious falls back into the a wall, out cold]Van Helsing: [catches her in his arms before she falls to the floor] Im sorry about that too.
— Van Helsing 2004 sin
Anna Valerious: What are these things?Van Helsing: I think theyre Draculas children.Anna Valerious: His children?Van Helsing: A man, with three gorgeous women, for four hundred years?
— Van Helsing 2004 women
Igor: I am sorry, Master. We try and we try, but I fear we are not so smart as Doctor Frankenstein.Count Vladislaus Dracula: Truly. It would appear that the good Doctor took the key to life to his grave.[the Werewolf climbs up onto the parapet. Dracula waves him away, dismissive]Count Vladislaus Dracula: Hunt them down. Kill them both.
— Van Helsing 2004 life
Count Vladislaus Dracula: Give me LIFE!
— Van Helsing 2004 life
Van Helsing: Absinthe. Strong stuff.[Anna takes a defiant swig and gives the bottle back to Van Helsing]Anna Valerious: Dont let it touch your tongue... itll knock straight on your aaaaaa...[she gets cut off as the ground falls through]
— Van Helsing 2004 sin
Carl: [notices Van Helsing] Ah, there you are. So, did you bring Mr. Hyde back or did you kill him?[acts obvious]Carl: You killed him, didnt you? Thats why they get so annoyed. When they ask you to bring someone back they dont mean as a corpse.
— Van Helsing 2004 sin
Anna Valerious: For me this is all personal. Its all about family and honor. Why do you do it? What do you hope to get out of it?Van Helsing: Oh, I dont know. Maybe some self-realization.Anna Valerious: And what have you got out of it so far?Van Helsing: Nightmares.
— Van Helsing 2004 hope
[drinking a freshly-killed mans blood from a glass]Aleera: Thirty years old... perfectly aged.
— Van Helsing 2004 man
[stalking the werewolf through the streets]Van Helsing: Whos hunting whom?
— Van Helsing 2004 sin
Anna Valerious: Dwergi!Van Helsing: Dwergi?Anna Valerious: Draculas servants. Industrious, but extremely vicious. If you get a chance to kill one, do it, because theyll do worse to you.
— Van Helsing 2004 sin
[seeing Draculas children hatch and fly through the castle]Van Helsing: This is where I come in!
— Van Helsing 2004 children
Dr. Victor Frankenstein: Ill take him away, far away, where no-one will ever find him.Count Vladislaus Dracula: Oh, no, Victor. The time has come for me to take command of him.Dr. Victor Frankenstein: What are you saying?Count Vladislaus Dracula: Why do you think I brought you here, gave you this castle, equipped your laboratory?Dr. Victor Frankenstein: You said... you said you believed in my work.Count Vladislaus Dracula: And I do. But now that it is, as you yourself have said, A triumph of science over God, it must now serve my purpose.
— Van Helsing 2004 god
Anna Valerious: Oh, my God! The Frankenstein Monster!Frankensteins Monster: Monster! Whos the monster here? I have done nothing wrong, yet you and your kind still wish me dead!
— Van Helsing 2004 god
[Van Helsing and Anna are both hanging off the sides of the carriage, hanging over the cliff. While the Monster is chained in his seat, Carl starts to pull Anna in, but Van Helsings grip starts to fail]Frankensteins Monster: I can help!Carl: You wont kill me?Frankensteins Monster: Only if you dont hurry!
— Van Helsing 2004 art
[Van Helsing and Carl break into a mausoleum to hide the unconscious Monster]Carl: Im sure this is some kind of sin.Van Helsing: Dont worry, God will forgive us.
— Van Helsing 2004 god
Aleera: Did I scare you?Carl: No.Aleera: Then maybe I need to try... a little harder.
— Van Helsing 2004 you
[Van Helsing appears to free the Monster]Frankensteins Monster: What are you doing? You must find the cure!Van Helsing: My friends are doing it for me.Frankensteins Monster: Friends...Van Helsing: Yes. You want one?
— Van Helsing 2004 friends
Anna Valerious: Some say youre a murderer, Mr. Van Helsing. Others say youre a holy man. Which is it?Van Helsing: Its a bit of both, I think.
— Van Helsing 2004 man
Anna Valerious: You make my skin crawl.Count Vladislaus Dracula: This is not all I can do with your skin.Count Vladislaus Dracula: [kisses/mouths Annas neck]
— Van Helsing 2004 kiss
Carl: Youve never gone after vampires before, have you?Van Helsing: Vampires, gargoyles, warlocks, theyre all the same - best when cooked well.
— Van Helsing 2004 war
Count Vladislaus Dracula: How does it feel to be a puppet on my string?
— Van Helsing 2004
Count Vladislaus Dracula: Success!Dr. Victor Frankenstein: Oh Count, its just you.[sighs in relief]Count Vladislaus Dracula: I was beginning to lose faith, Victor.[looks down at the angry mob]Count Vladislaus Dracula: A pity your moment of triumph is being spoiled over a little thing like grave robbery.
— Van Helsing 2004 faith
Frankensteins Monster: Let me go!Carl: Where are you going to go? I dont know if youve looked in the mirror lately, but you kind of stick out in a crowd.
— Van Helsing 2004 you
Van Helsing: Hes not your brother anymore, Anna!Anna Valerious: You knew?Van Helsing: Yes.Anna Valerious: Before or after I stopped you from shooting him?Van Helsing: Before.Anna Valerious: And still you tried to kill him!Van Helsing: Hes a werewolf. Hes going to kill people!Anna Valerious: Its not his fault! He cant help it!Van Helsing: I know, but hes going to do it anyway!
— Van Helsing 2004 people
Van Helsing: Now that I have your attention.
— Van Helsing 2004 sin

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