Watchmen 2009

Rorschach: I heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says hes depressed. Life seems harsh, and cruel. Says he feels all alone in threatening world. Doctor says: Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up. Man bursts into tears. But doctor... he says I am Pagliacci. Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.

Rorschach: [reading from journal] Rorschachs Journal. October 12th, 1985: Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout Save us!... and Ill whisper no.

— Watchmen 2009 reading

Rorschach: You see, Doctor, God didnt kill that little girl. Fate didnt butcher her and destiny didnt feed her to those dogs. If God saw what any of us did that night he didnt seem to mind. From then on I knew... God doesnt make the world this way. We do.

— Watchmen 2009 god

Adrian Veidt: Im not a comic book villain. Do you seriously think I would explain my master stroke to you if there were even the slightest possibility you could affect the outcome? I triggered it 35 minutes ago.

— Watchmen 2009 light

Rorschach: Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon. Thats always been the difference between us, Daniel.

— Watchmen 2009 age

Dr. Manhattan: She was pregnant. And you gunned her down.Edward Blake: Thats right. And you know what, you watched me. You couldve turned the gun into steam, the bullets into mercury, the bottle into goddamned snowflakes but you didnt, did you? You really dont give a damn about human beings. Youre driftin out of touch, Doc. God help us all.

— Watchmen 2009 god

[after killing a murderer who begged to be arrested]Rorschach: Men get arrested. Dogs get put down.

— Watchmen 2009 men

[last lines]Rorschach: Rorschachs Journal: October 12th, 1985. Tonight, a comedian died in New York.

— Watchmen 2009 night

Adrian Veidt: It doesnt take a genius to see that the world has problems.Edward Blake: No, but it takes a room full of morons to think theyre small enough for you to handle.

— Watchmen 2009 war

Jon Osterman: Reassembling myself was the first trick I learned. It didnt kill Osterman... did you really think it would kill me? I have walked across the surface of the Sun. I have witnessed events so tiny and so fast they can hardly be said to have occurred at all. But you, Adrian, youre just a man. The worlds smartest man poses no more threat to me than does its smartest termite.

— Watchmen 2009 art

Edward Blake: Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.

— Watchmen 2009 war

Jon Osterman: Will you smile? If I admit I was wrong?Laurie Juspeczyk: About what?Jon Osterman: Miracles. Events with astronomical odds of occurring, like oxygen turning into gold. Ive longed to witness such an event, and yet I neglect that in human coupling, millions upon millions of cells compete to create life, for generation after generation until, finally, your mother loves a man, Edward Blake, the Comedian, a man she has every reason to hate, and out of that contradiction, against unfathomable odds, its you - only you - that emerged. To distill so specific a form, from all that chaos. Its like turning air into gold. A miracle. And so... I was wrong. Now dry your eyes, and lets go home.

— Watchmen 2009 love

Jon Osterman: In my opinion, the existence of life is a highly overrated phenomenon.

— Watchmen 2009 life

Rorschach: Give me back my face!

— Watchmen 2009

Dan Dreiberg: What happened to us? What happened to the American Dream?Edward Blake: What happened to the American Dream? It came true! Youre lookin at it...

— Watchmen 2009 war

Edgar Jacobi: I have cancer.Rorschach: What kind of cancer?Edgar Jacobi: Well, you know the kind you eventually get better from?Rorschach: Yes.Edgar Jacobi: Well, that aint the kind I got.

— Watchmen 2009 you

Laurie Juspeczyk: Do you remember that crazy guy? What did he call himself... Captain Carnage. The one who used to pretend he was a supervillain just so he could get beaten up all the time?Dan Dreiberg: Yeah, he tried that on me once. I just walked away. He starts following me down the street in broad daylight, yelling Punish me! Punish me! Im just saying No! Get lost.Laurie Juspeczyk: God. Whatever happened to him?Dan Dreiberg: Well, he pulled that on Rorschach, and Rorschach dropped him down an elevator shaft.[pause, then both laugh]Laurie Juspeczyk: Oh my god. That isnt even funny.Dan Dreiberg: [laughing] It is a *little* funny.

— Watchmen 2009 god

Laurie Juspeczyk: Everyone will die!Jon Osterman: And the universe will not even notice.

— Watchmen 2009 man

Laurie Juspeczyk: The most powerful thing in the universe... still just a puppet.Jon Osterman: We are all puppets, Laurie. Im just the puppet who can see the strings.

— Watchmen 2009 power

Adrian Veidt: I dont mind being the smartest man in the world, I just wish it wasnt this one.

— Watchmen 2009 art

Rorschach: Of course. You must protect Veidts new utopia. Whats one more body amongst the foundations? Well, what are you waiting for? Do it.[Dr. Manhattan hesitates]Rorschach: DO IT!

— Watchmen 2009 man

Rorschach: [voiceover] Rorschachs journal, October 13th, 1985. 8:30 PM. Meeting with Dreiberg left bad taste in mouth. A flabby failure who sits whimpering in his basement. Why are so few of us left active, healthy, and without personality disorders? The first Nite Owl runs an auto repair shop. The first Silk Spectre is a bloated, aging whore, dying in a California rest resort. Dollar Bill got his cape stuck in a revolving door where he got gunned down. Silhouette, murdered: a victim of her own indecent lifestyle. Mothmans in an asylum in Maine. Only two names remain on my list. Both share private quarters at Rockefeller Military Research Center. I shall go to them. I shall go tell the indestructible man that someone plans to murder him.

— Watchmen 2009 life

Rorschach: [examining psychiatrists inkblot test] A pretty butterfly.

— Watchmen 2009

Dr. Manhattan: I feel fear, for the last time.

— Watchmen 2009 fear

Jon Osterman: I am looking at the stars. They are so far away, and their light takes so long to reach us. All we ever see of stars is their old photographs.

— Watchmen 2009 light

Rorschach: We need to squeeze people.Dan Dreiberg: [sarcastic] Sure. Well pick them out of a phone book.Rorschach: You forgot how we do things, Daniel. Youve gotten too soft. Too trusting. Especially with women.Dan Dreiberg: No, listen, I am through with that! God, who do you think you are, Rorschach? You live off people while insulting them and nobody complains because they think youre a goddamn lunatic!Dan Dreiberg: [Rorschach approaches Dan, who sighs and turns to him] Im sorry. I shouldnt have said that, man.Rorschach: Daniel? You are a good friend.[extends his hand and Dan takes it]

— Watchmen 2009 god

Jon Osterman: What is this? Another ultimate weapon?Adrian Veidt: Yes. You could say that.[Veidt turns on TVs with remote]

— Watchmen 2009 man

Detective Fine: [From outside Molochs apartment] Rorschach! This is the police, we know youre in there.Rorschach: No! No!Detective Fine: [From outside Molochs apartment] If theres anybody in there with you, send em out unharmed.Rorschach: No! No, no, no, no!Detective Fine: [From outside Molochs apartment] Come out and make this a nice, clean surrender.Rorschach: Walked right into it! Stupid, stupid, stupid! Never surrender.Detective Fine: [From outside Molochs apartment] Alright, I hope youre ready, hero.Rorschach: When you are.

— Watchmen 2009 hope

Sally Jupiter: Im 67 years old. Every day, the future looks a little bit darker. But the past... even the grimy parts of it... keep on getting brighter.

— Watchmen 2009 art

[Looking at psychiatrists ink blot, remembering being bullied]Rorschach: Clouds.

— Watchmen 2009 lie

Dan Dreiberg: Im not the one still hiding behind a mask.Rorschach: No. Youre hiding in plain sight.

— Watchmen 2009 you

Sally Jupiter: Things are tough all over, cupcake. It rains on the just and unjust alike. The Comedian was a little bit of both.

— Watchmen 2009 rain

Adrian Veidt: Dan. A world united in peace... there had to be sacrifice.Dan Dreiberg: No! You havent idealized mankind but youve... youve deformed it! You mutilated it. Thats your legacy. Thats the real practical joke.

— Watchmen 2009 peace

[repeated line]Edward Blake: This is a joke. This is all a joke.

— Watchmen 2009 war

Wally Weaver: You see, at the time I was misquoted. I never said The Super-man exists and he is American, what I said was *God* exists and he is American. Now if you begin to feel an intense and crushing feeling of religious terror at the concept, dont be alarmed. That indicates only that you are still sane.

— Watchmen 2009 god

[after the intruder kicks the door open]Edward Blake: Just a matter of time, I suppose.

— Watchmen 2009 war

[Laurie and Dan are breaking Rorschach out of prison]Rorschach: Need to visit mens room.Laurie Juspeczyk: Oh, Christ!

— Watchmen 2009 men

Dan Dreiberg: [referring to the exit tunnel] Theres a maintenance hatch that will let you out two blocks north.Rorschach: I remember. I used to come here often, back when we were partners.Dan Dreiberg: Those were good times, huh Rorschach? What happened?Rorschach: [as he walks down the tunnel] You quit.

— Watchmen 2009 time

Rorschach: Your turn doctor! Tell me![puts on Rorschach mask]Rorschach: What do you see?

— Watchmen 2009 you

Edward Blake: No, spelt Y-E-S...Sally Jupiter: No, spelt N-O!

— Watchmen 2009 war

Dr. Manhattan: They claim their labors are to build a heaven, yet their heaven is populated by horrors. Perhaps the world is not made. Perhaps nothing is made. A clock without a craftsman. Its too late. Always has been, always will be. Too late.

— Watchmen 2009 world

Rorschach: This citys afraid of me... Ive seen its true face...

— Watchmen 2009 true

Adrian Veidt: The only person with whom I felt any kinship with died three hundred years before the birth of Christ. Alexander of Macedonia, or Alexander the Great, as you know him.

— Watchmen 2009 christ

Edward Blake: God damn I love working on American soil, Dan. Aint had this much fun since Woodward and Bernstein.Dan Dreiberg: How long can we keep this up?Edward Blake: Congress is pushing through some new bill thats gonna outlaw masks. Our days are numbered. Till then its like you always say, were societys only protection.Dan Dreiberg: From what?Edward Blake: You kidding me? From themselves.

— Watchmen 2009 love

Jon Osterman: A live human body and a deceased human body have the same number of particles. Structurally theres no difference.

— Watchmen 2009 art

Big Figure: Hes dead, Rorschach. While everyones distracted, we thought wed bring you a little housewarming gift. Something from the machine shop.Fat Thug: Hey, Boss, you notice? None of that small world, tall order crap, cause he knows once we slice open his lock, hes next on the block.Rorschach: Fat chance.

— Watchmen 2009 war

Rorschach: I dont like you.Prison Psychiatrist: Ah. You dont like me? Well, why is that?Rorschach: Because youre fat.

— Watchmen 2009 you

Janet Black: Doctor Manhattan as you know the Doomsday Clock is a symbolic clock face analogizing humankinds proximity to extinction, midnight representing the threat of nuclear war. As of now it stands at four minutes to midnight. Would you agree that we are that close to annihilation?Jon Osterman: My father was a watch maker. He abandoned it when Einstein discovered time is relative. I would only agree that a symbolic clock is as nourishing to the intellect as photograph of oxygen to a drowning man.

— Watchmen 2009 war

[Big Figure has just killed one of his own men to get to Rorschachs cell]Big Figure: Now youre gonna find out what the score is!Rorschach: One, nothing. Come and get me.

— Watchmen 2009 men

Rorschach: [after knocking out and then electrocuting a thug against a toilet] Hm. Never disposed of sewage with a toilet before. Obvious, really.

— Watchmen 2009 age

[Looking at psychiatrists ink blot, remembering his abusive mother]Rorschach: Some nice flowers.

— Watchmen 2009 mother

Dan Dreiberg: So Ive been thinking, I feel we have an obligation to our fraternity... I think we oughta spring Rorshach.Laurie Juspeczyk: What?Dan Dreiberg: Someone set him up. This whole cancer thing with Jon, it just doesnt make sense. You didnt get it.Laurie Juspeczyk: Yeah, but breaking into a maximum security prison is a lot different than putting out a fire.Dan Dreiberg: Yeah, youre right... itll be more fun.

— Watchmen 2009 thinking

Laurie Juspeczyk: [after rolling down the cab window] Im sorry. I invited you out to dinner to catch up and have a few laughs... but there dont seem to be many laughs around these days.Dan Dreiberg: What do you expect? The Comedians dead.

— Watchmen 2009 man

[repeated line]Rorschach: Fine like this.

— Watchmen 2009

Man on Moon: Good luck, Mister Gorsky.

— Watchmen 2009 man

Rorschach: Once a man has seen societys black underbelly, he can never turn his back on it. Never pretend, like you do, that it doesnt exist.

— Watchmen 2009 society

Rorschach: You keep calling me Walter. I dont like you.

— Watchmen 2009 you

Rorschach: A Comedian died last night, and nobody cares. Nobody cares but me.

— Watchmen 2009 night

Adrian Veidt: What, in life, does not deserve celebrating?

— Watchmen 2009 life

Woman in diner: Im so glad I got the four legged chicken.

— Watchmen 2009 man

Jon Osterman: Your mind goes to dark places and you wonder why I keep the worst from you.

— Watchmen 2009 mind

Rorschach: The engines!Dan Dreiberg: Theyre icing up. Hold on to something!Rorschach: Daniel, youre coming in too low. Dont wish to interfere with running of ship, but perhaps should pull up sharply before...Dan Dreiberg: Yeah, I know, Im trying! Im trying to pull him up, goddamnit!

— Watchmen 2009 god

John McLaughlin: On a scale of 0 to 10 - zero being impossible, ten being complete metaphysical certitude - what are the chances the Russians will actually attack the United States? Pat Buchanan.Pat Buchanan: Zero. The Soviets would never risk going to war when we have a walking nuclear deterrent on our side.

— Watchmen 2009 war

Fat Thug: [Reaching into Rorschachs cell] Youre dead, Rorschach! We got a prison full of killers out here! What do you got?Rorschach: [Grabbing Fat Thugs hands] Your hands. My pleasure.[Rorschach breaks Fat Thugs hands and ties them to the prison bars]

— Watchmen 2009 you

Dr. Manhattan: [remembering Janey while on Mars] Janey accuses me of chasing jailbait. She bursts into angry tears, asking if its because shes getting older. Its true. Shes aging more noticeably every day - while I am standing still. I prefer the stillness here. I am tired of Earth. These people. I am tired of being caught in the tangle of their lives.

— Watchmen 2009 art

Sally Jupiter: [to Eddie after sending Laurie away from him] Are there no depths you wont sink to?Edward Blake: Jesus Christ Sally, cant a guy talk to his- an old friends daughter?

— Watchmen 2009 war

Dr. Manhattan: Adrian, stop this. The tachyons were clever. But even if I cant predict where you are I can still turn the walls to glass. I should thank you. Id almost forgotten the excitement of *not* knowing. The delights of uncertainty.

— Watchmen 2009 men

Hollis Mason: [about Rorshach] They forced everyone out except him.Dan Dreiberg: Oh hell quit. When hes dead.

— Watchmen 2009 hell

Laurie Juspeczyk: [about Dr Manhattan] I cant even tell if he really cares about me anymore, or if hes just pretendingDan Dreiberg: If hes pretending, its because he cares

— Watchmen 2009 man

Adrian Veidt: We can do so much more. We can save this world... with the right leadership.

— Watchmen 2009 leadership

Adrian Veidt: His vision of a united world... well, it was unprecedented. I wanted... *needed* to match his accomplishments, and so I resolved to apply antiquitys teaching to our world, *today*. And so began my path to conquest. Conquest not of men, but of the evils that beset them.

— Watchmen 2009 men

[repeated line]Edward Blake: Mother forgive me.

— Watchmen 2009 war

Dan Dreiberg: Watchmen are over.Rorschach: Says Tricky Dick.Dan Dreiberg: Says me.

— Watchmen 2009 men

Dan Dreiberg: [examining blood stained Comedian badge] Is this bean juice?Rorschach: Human bean juice. Badge belonged to The Comedian. Blood too...

— Watchmen 2009 man

Rorschach: Funny, ancient pharaohs looked forward to the end of the world. Hoping the cadavers would rise, and reclaim hearts from golden jars. Must currently be holding breath in anticipation.

— Watchmen 2009 funny

Adrian Veidt: Ive known John long enough to see he isnt devoid of emotion. His subtle facial twitches wouldnt have been noticed by the layman but to me, he might as well have been sobbing.

— Watchmen 2009 man

Laurie Juspeczyk: Dan?[steps toward him]Laurie Juspeczyk: Is everything alright?Dan Dreiberg: God Im tired of being afraid, afraid of war, afraid of the mask-killer... and afraid of this goddamn suit, and how much I need it.Laurie Juspeczyk: Me too. So to hell with it; lets take Archi out.Dan Dreiberg: [Dan turns his head and takes a long look at her] Youre serious.[not as a question]Laurie Juspeczyk: I used to be a masked avenger too, you know; Im used to getting up at 3 in the morning and doing something stupid.

— Watchmen 2009 god

Adrian Veidt: For someone that calls himself The Comedian, I can never tell when youre joking.

— Watchmen 2009 self

[From Ultimate Cut]News Vendor: Hey, all this time youve been coming down here, I never caught your name.Teenager at Newsstand: Bernard.News Vendor: Bernard? Youre kidding? ThatsNews Vendor: [chuckles]News Vendor: my name too.Teenager at Newsstand: Not that big a deal. Theres lots of people called Bernard.

— Watchmen 2009 time

Edward Blake: [to Dr. Manhattan] You know if wed lost here in Vietnam, I think it mightve driven us crazy. Yknow, as a country. But we didnt. Thanks to you.

— Watchmen 2009 war

Laurie Juspeczyk: I am not afraid.

— Watchmen 2009

Jon Osterman: Im disappointed in you, Adrian! Very disappointed! Re-assembling myself was the first trick I learned as Dr Manhattan!

— Watchmen 2009 self

Jon Osterman: Why would I save a world I no longer have any stake in?Laurie Juspeczyk: Do it for me.

— Watchmen 2009 world

Jon Osterman: When you left me, I left Earth.

— Watchmen 2009 art

Dan Dreiberg: Maybe this was a political killing?Rorschach: Maybe. Or maybe someones picking off costumed heroes.Dan Dreiberg: Um. Dont you think thats maybe a little paranoid?Rorschach: Thats what theyre saying about me now? That Im paranoid?

— Watchmen 2009 you

Rorschach: Hows your friend Hollis Mason?Dan Dreiberg: Whats Hollis got to do with any of this?Rorschach: He wrote that book. Said some things about the Comedian in it.Dan Dreiberg: I dont like what youre implying. I like being followed even less.

— Watchmen 2009 book

Jon Osterman: Miracles by their definition are meaningless, only what can happen does happen.

— Watchmen 2009 man

Hollis Mason: Truth: you were a better Nite Owl than I ever was, Danny boy.Dan Dreiberg: Hollis, we both know thats bullshit.Hollis Mason: Hey, watch with the language! This was the left hook that took out Captain Axis! Remember?

— Watchmen 2009 truth

Dr. Manhattan: Youre my only remaining link to the world.Laurie Juspeczyk: I dont want that responsibility anymore.[to Adrian as she walks out]Laurie Juspeczyk: Hes all yours.Adrian Veidt: Dont worry John, shell be back.Dr. Manhattan: No she wont.

— Watchmen 2009 world

Dr. Manhattan: In January 1971, President Nixon asks me to intervene in Vietnam, something that his predecessors would *not* ask. A week later the conflict ends. Some of the Viet Cong want to surrender to me personally.

— Watchmen 2009 man

Laurie Juspeczyk: John! The TV said you were on Mars.Dr. Manhattan: I am on Mars. You and I are about to have a conversation there.Laurie Juspeczyk: What are you talking about?Dr. Manhattan: Youre going to try to convince me to save the world.

— Watchmen 2009 world

[after shaking Rorschachs hand]Dan Dreiberg: Lets do it your way.

— Watchmen 2009 you

Dr. Manhattan: If the United States and Soviet Union engage in all-out war the resulting blast wave would produce a sudden burst of tachyons... particles which travel backward through what... *you* perceive as time... therefore obscuring my vision of the present.

— Watchmen 2009 war

Sally Jupiter: [on her daughter, Laurie] She blames me for her career, but what else would she have been? A housewife?

— Watchmen 2009 care

Sally Jupiter: [yelling] I was a hero, goddamn it!

— Watchmen 2009 god

Sally Jupiter: [to Dr. Manhatten] Do that thing you do!

— Watchmen 2009 man

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