The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
Woody Allen Quotes about sleepRabbi Raditz of Poland was a very short rabbi with a long beard, who was said to have inspired manywith his sense of humor. One of his disciples asked, "Who did God like better,or ?" "Abraham," the Zaddik said. "But Moses led the Israelites to the Promised Land," said the disciple. "All right, so Moses," the Zaddik answered.
Woody Allen Quotes about humorIt is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.
Woody Allen Quotes about travelInterestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought — particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.
Woody Allen Quotes about artMore than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
Woody Allen Quotes about wisdomWoody Allen as Socrates...
Woody AllenOf all the famous men who ever lived, the one I would most like to have been was . Not just because he was a great thinker, because I have been known to have some reasonably profound insights myself, although mine invariably revolve around a Swedish airline stewardess and some handcuffs.
Woody Allen Quotes about warDeath is a state of non-being. That which is not, does not exist. Therefore death does not exist. Only truth exists. Truth and beauty. Each is interchangeable, but are aspects of themselves. Er, what specifically did they say they had in mind for me?
Woody Allen Quotes about truthHey listen — I've proved a lot of things. That's how I pay my rent. Theories and little observations. A puckish remark now and then. Occasional maxims. It beats picking olives, but let's not get carried away.
Woody Allen Quotes about liveAgathon: But all that talk about death being the same as sleep.Socrates: Yes, the difference is that when you're dead and somebody yells, "Everybody up, it's morning," it's very hard to find your slippers.
Woody Allen Quotes about deathTaste my tuna casserole — tell me if I put in too much hot fudge.
Woody AllenWhat has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause!
Woody Allen Quotes about menI bought her this handkerchief... and I didn't even know her size.
Woody AllenI can't listen to that much Wagner, ya know ? I start to get the urge to conquer Poland.
Woody Allen Quotes about art[about his daughter] I'd rather she grew up here than grew up as an orphan, you know I can tolerate anybody's orphans but my own.
Woody Allen Quotes about body...years of insanity have made this guy crazy!
Woody Allen Quotes about insanityHarry: Between the Pope and air conditioning, I'd choose air conditioning.
Woody AllenHarry: The most beautiful words in the English language aren't "I love you" but "it's benign."
Woody Allen Quotes about loveCookie: What are you sad about?Harry: I'm spiritually bankrupt. I'm empty.Cookie: What do you mean?Harry: I'm frightened. I got no soul, you know what I mean? Let me put it this way: when I was younger it was less scarythan it is .Cookie: You lost me!Harry: You know that the universe is coming apart? You know about that? You know what a black hole is?Cookie: Yeah. That's how I make my living.
Woody Allen Quotes about artBurt: Do you care even about the Holocaust or do you think it never happened?Harry: Not only do I know that we lost six million, but the scary thing is that records are made to be broken.
Woody Allen Quotes about youHarry: No, I don't think you're paranoid. I think you're the opposite of paranoid. I think you walk around with the insane delusion that people like you.
Woody Allen Quotes about peopleHarry: Tradition is the illusion of permanence.
Woody Allen Quotes about manHarry: (On being called a self-hating Jew) Hey, I may hate myself, but not because I'm Jewish.
Woody Allen Quotes about selfDoris: You have no values. With you it's all nihilism, cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.Harry: Hey, in France I could run for office with that slogan, and win!
Woody Allen Quotes about sarcasmHarry: All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
Woody Allen Quotes about truthA CD compilation of Allen comedy routines from 1964-1968
Woody Allen Quotes about comedyA lot of things have happened in my private life recently that I thought we could review tonight.
Woody Allen Quotes about lifeI feel sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
Woody Allen Quotes about peopleA fast word about oral contraception. I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said "no."
Woody Allen Quotes about goodBasically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
Woody Allen Quotes about sinI was in analysis. I was suicidal. As a matter of fact, I would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss.
Woody Allen Quotes about selfI was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
Woody Allen Quotes about soulI tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
Woody Allen Quotes about wifeI'm not a drinker — my body will not tolerate spirits. I had two Martinis on New Year's Eve and I tried to hijack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.
Woody Allen Quotes about artWhen I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Woody Allen Quotes about actionHow could I not have known that there are little things the size of "" in the universe, which are a millionth of a billionth of a billionth of a centimeter?
Woody Allen Quotes about timeHow could I not have known that there are little things the size of "" in the universe, which are a millionth of a billionth of a billionth of a centimeter? Imagine if you dropped one in a dark theater how hard it would be to find.
Woody Allen Quotes about timeAnd how does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket?
Woody Allen Quotes about workWith that, he scribbled in an additional ninety thousand dollars on the estimate, which had waxed to the girth of the Talmud while rivaling it in possible interpretations.
Woody Allen Quotes about possibleI have also reviewed my own financial obligations, which have puffed up recently like a hammered thumb.
Woody AllenShe quarreled with the nanny and accused her of brushing Misha's teeth sideways rather than up and down.
Woody Allen Quotes about witAs we know, for centuries Rome regarded the Open Hot Turkey Sandwich as the height of licentiousness.
Woody AllenI was supremely confident my flair for atmosphere and characterization would sparkle alongside the numbing mulch ground out by studio hacks. Certainly the space atop my mantel might be better festooned by a gold statuette than by the plastic dipping bird that now bobbed there ad infinitum.
Woody Allen Quotes about manBidnick gorges himself on Viagra, but the dosage makes him hallucinate and causes him to imagine he is .
Woody Allen Quotes about selfTo a man standing on the shore, time passes quicker than to a man on a boat — especially if the man on the boat is with his wife.
Woody Allen Quotes about timeSex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
Woody Allen Quotes about loveThe talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.
Woody Allen Quotes about happyLife is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
Woody Allen Quotes about lonelinessEighty percent of success is showing up.
Woody Allen Quotes about successIf you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
Woody Allen Quotes about youMaybe you are looking for Woody Allen quotes, Woody Allen sayings?