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Carol Burnett

We don't stop going to school when we graduate.

— Carol Burnett school

When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go.

— Carol Burnett dream

Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.

— Carol Burnett life

Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.

— Carol Burnett life

I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done the same. I wanted my girls to know me.

— Carol Burnett mother

Because nobody goes through life without a scar.

— Carol Burnett life

You have to go through the falling down in order to learn to walk. It helps to know that you can survive it. That's an education in itself.

— Carol Burnett education

In '57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door.

— Carol Burnett man

Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to tell a joke, though I don't like to tell jokes. But I think you have to be born with a sense of humor and a sense of timing.

— Carol Burnett humor

I do the 'New York Times' crossword puzzle every morning to keep the old grey matter ticking.

— Carol Burnett morning

It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it's too bad that we don't have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team's lawyers.

— Carol Burnett sin

It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others.

— Carol Burnett kindness

Comedy is tragedy - plus time.

— Carol Burnett time

Adolescence is just one big walking pimple.

— Carol Burnett walking

I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?

— Carol Burnett you

But I don't begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it happen, whether or not it's just to put a roof over your head and food on the table.

— Carol Burnett dream

As far as sitcoms go, I thought Jenna Elfman in 'Dharma and Greg' was a wonderful physical comedienne who had great timing.

— Carol Burnett man

Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away.

— Carol Burnett time

I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman, and a guard burst in with a gun! Now I only do it under controlled circumstances.

— Carol Burnett man

I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins.

— Carol Burnett you

I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.

— Carol Burnett love

My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run.

— Carol Burnett age

I was kind of shy as a kid. I was a pretty good student. I was a wallflower, or nerd, if you will.

— Carol Burnett good

I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out again now, maybe things would happen for me, but it certainly would not be on a variety show with 28 musicians, 12 dancers, two major guest stars, 50 costumes a week by Bob Mackie. The networks just wouldn't spend the money today.

— Carol Burnett time

My childhood was rough, we were poor and my parents were alcoholics, but nobody was mean. I knew I was loved. We were on welfare, but I never felt abandoned or unloved.

— Carol Burnett love

We dont stop going to school when we graduate.

— Carol Burnett school

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