Dave Attell
Im drinking Jack and I started blacking out. You ever black out? Or as I call it, time travel? You ever do that? Oh yeah! You know how it is -- youre drinking, you black out. You wake up, youre in another bar. Youre drinking, you black out. You wake up, youre playing that knife game with a half-Indian somewhere in North Dakota, Yeah! Yeah! Winner fixes the tranny! Yeah. Youre drinking, you black out. You wake up, youre in White Castle -- working there 3 years, STILL not assistant manager. Your buddies tell you to quit, but you cant cause youre banging the slow girl on the fry-o-later. They say shes a little retarded, but those titties aint retarded! — Dave Attell time Never drink alone, thats what they say. But you know what? If you drink you will never be alone, alright? People will find you, and thats when all the bad stuff happens, right? Just sittin around, doin nuthin, right? You know what happened one time? Drunk, nothin to do. I end up doing what? My penis in my fish tank, alright? No, I did it just to show them whos boss, alright? They were gettin a little uppity. Even the diver guy stopped bubblin, hes like bleh?? Then, they hid in the castle. And like all good times, it always ends when your grandma walks in, doesnt it? Get that dick outta the fish tank!! Time for supper! — Dave Attell time
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