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John Cleese (Actor)

was an easy character for me. For some reason, portraying a mean uptight incompetent bully comes naturally to me.
— John Cleese character
When you get to my age ... you realize that the world is a madhouse and that most people are operating in fantasy anyway. So once you realise that, it doesn't bother you much.
— John Cleese people
I'm struck by how laughter connects you with people. It's almost impossible to maintain any kind of distance or any sense of social hierarchy when you're just howling with laughter. Laughter is a force for democracy.
— John Cleese people
Six hundred years ago we would have been burned for this. Now, what I'm suggesting is that we've advanced.
— John Cleese
If I like chocolate it won't surprise you that I have a few chocolates in my fridge, but if you find out I've got 16 warehouses full of chocolate, you'd think I was insane. All these rich guys are insane, obsessive compulsive twits obsessed with money — money is all they think about — they're all nuts.
— John Cleese war
If I had not gone into Monty Python, I probably would have stuck to my original plan to graduate and become a chartered accountant, perhaps a barrister lawyer, and gotten a nice house in the suburbs, with a nice wife and kids, and gotten a country club membership, and then I would have killed myself.
— John Cleese art
He who laughs most, learns best.
— John Cleese learn
If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play.
— John Cleese time
Technology frightens me to death. It's designed by engineers to impress other engineers, and they always come with instruction booklets that are written by engineers for other engineers — which is why almost no technology ever works.
— John Cleese death
If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?
— John Cleese animals
You see, you could never do a sketch like that these days. The audience is too uninformed. I blame the Americans. Nation of obese, violent, pig-ignorant, bible-thumping morons contaminating world culture. That’s why I spend most of my time here in France. ... Beautiful, isn’t it? Just look at those olive trees. [Interviewer: This is Santa Barbara.]
— John Cleese time
My biggest regret? Not being knighted by the Queen. I should have been a knight, and I would have been knighted, if I hadn't written one horrible horrible Python sketch which I deeply deeply regret — [cue Python sketch: ""]
— John Cleese regret
When you get to my age, and I'm 66 now, you realize that the world is a madhouse and that most people are operating in fantasy anyway. So once you realise that, it doesn't bother you much.
— John Cleese people
Because these people are operating at a very very low level of mental health, they are incapable of understanding the teaching.
— John Cleese people
Aping Urbanity, Oozing with Vanity Plump as a Manatee, Faking Humanity Journalistic Calamity, Intellectual Inanity Fox News Insanity, You're a profanity Hannity
— John Cleese man
Now most people do not want an ordinary life in which they do a job well, earn the respect of their collaborators and competitors, bring up a family and have friends. That's not enough any more, and I think that is absolutely tragic - and I'm not exaggerating - that people feel like a decent, ordinary, fun life is no longer enough.
— John Cleese life
It seems astounding to me now that the video games are perhaps as important as the movie themselves. And people will spend 2 or 3 years obsessing about the video game in exactly the same way that they'd be obsessing about the movie if they were working on that.
— John Cleese people
I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.
— John Cleese business
A wonderful thing about true laughter is that it just destroys any kind of system of dividing people.
— John Cleese people
I have several times made a poor choice by avoiding a necessary confrontation.
— John Cleese time
Don't let anyone tell you what you ought to like... Some wines that some experts think are absolutely exquisite don't appeal to me at all.
— John Cleese you
For me, the great problem growing up in England was that I had a very narrow concept of what God can be, and it was damn close to an old man with a beard.
— John Cleese man
If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you more open to my ideas. And if I can persuade you to laugh at the particular point I make, by laughing at it you acknowledge its truth.
— John Cleese truth
The really good idea is always traceable back quite a long way, often to a not very good idea which sparked off another idea that was only slightly better, which somebody else misunderstood in such a way that they then said something which was really rather interesting.
— John Cleese light
You don't have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life's about change.
— John Cleese life
I think that money spoils most things, once it becomes the primary motivating force.
— John Cleese money
A man will give up almost anything except his suffering.
— John Cleese suffering
But then acting is all about faking. We're all very good at faking things that we have no competence with.
— John Cleese good
The most creative people have this childlike facility to play.
— John Cleese people
The Americans all love 'The Holy Grail', and the English all love 'Life Of Brian', and I'm afraid on this one, I side with the English.
— John Cleese love
God was treated like this powerful, erratic, rather punitive father who has to be pacified and praised. You know, flattered.
— John Cleese power
Most of the bad taste I've been accused of has been generic bad taste; it's been making fun of an idea as opposed to a person.
— John Cleese fun
I can never do better than Fawlty Towers whatever I do. Now I very much want to teach young talent some rules of the game.
— John Cleese hate
If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking 'Do you want fries with that?'
— John Cleese life
I'm not saying Obama is right on everything. Of course not. He may be wrong on a number of things. But what I do know is that he behaves like a very, very sane man almost all the time.
— John Cleese time
Sci-fi has never really been my bag. But I do believe in a lot of weird things these days, such as synchronicity. Quantum physics suggests it's possible, so why not?
— John Cleese believe
England is a fairly envious little country and it's embodied in the press. They don't like anyone being more distinguished than they are.
— John Cleese being

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