funny quotes

#37970 Thomas and Friends

Thomas: PHEW! What a funny smell! Can you smell a smell? Annie: I can't smell a smell. Thomas: A funny, musty sort of smell. Gordon: No one noticed it 'til you did. It must be yours. Narrator: Not long ago, he had fallen into a dirty ditch. Thomas enjoyed teasing him about it. Thomas: Annie, Clarabel, do you know what I think it is? It's ditch water! .

Thomas and Friends Quotes about funny
#37998 Quentin Crisp

Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave. .

Quentin Crisp Quotes about funny
#38009 Quentin Crisp

The simplest comment on my book came from my ballet teacher. She said, "I wish you hadn’t made every line funny. It’s so depressing." .

Quentin Crisp Quotes about funny
#38096 Hermann G¶ring

I have always been interested in family history. Chromosomes are funny things, aren't they? They may skip a generation and you can find children who resemble the grandfather, rather than either parent. Heredity is more important than environment. Blood will tell. For example, a man is either musical by heredity or he is not. You can't make a man musical by the environment. You can find a person who is very musically inclined and be puzzled because neither parents nor grandparents had any ear for music. But if you trace it back, you will find that the great-grandfather was a musician. But the environment plays a great part in the development of a man. It is significant whether a man is brought up in the city or in the country, near a lake or on the shores of the ocean. .

Hermann G¶ring Quotes about funny
#38152 Sex

There are two kinds of sex, classical and baroque. Classical sex is romantic, profound, serious, emotional, moral, mysterious, spontaneous, abandoned, focused on a particular person, and stereotypically feminine. Baroque sex is pop, playful, funny, experimental, conscious, deliberate, amoral, anonymous, focused on sensation for sensation's sake, and stereotypically masculine. The classical mentality taken to an extreme is sentimental and finally puritanical; the baroque mentality taken to an extreme is pornographic and finally obscene. Ideally, a sexual relation ought to create a satisfying tension between the two modes (a baroque idea, particularly if the tension is ironic) or else blend them so well that the distinction disappears (a classical aspiration). .

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#39449 Wesley Clark

... they said, "Sir, we want to tell you a joke." I said, "You don't have time to tell me a joke." They said, "Oh, you gotta hear this one." So I came in, they shut the door, and they said, "Here's"— I said, "What's the joke?" I said, "What's the joke?" They said, "9/11. Saddam Hussein. If he didn't do it, too bad. He should've! Because we're gonna get him anyway." I said, "But that's not funny." I said, "That's not very funny." They said, "It sure isn't." .

Wesley Clark Quotes about funny
#41042 Composer

And when the music goes te-toot, The monkey acts so funny That we all hurry up and scoot To get some monkey-money. M-double-unk for the monkey, M-double-an for the man; M-double unky, hunky monkey, Hunkey monkey-man. Ever since the world began Children danced and children ran When they heard the monkey-man, The m-double-unky man. .

Composer Quotes about funny
#41706 Jack Kerouac

One night I realized that when you give people understanding and encouragement a funny little meek childish look abashes their eyes, no matter what they've been doing they weren't sure it was right — lambies all over the world. .

Jack Kerouac Quotes about funny
#42371 Baldur's Gate series

Marl: Oh you think it's funny do you?! You mess up the local economy with your treasure, you upset the balance of nature, you flash your magic around, and because of it maybe somebody's son thinks it's fun and goes out and gets himself killed! It's a bad example and somebody ought to kick your ass for it! Protagonist: Don't get mad at me if "somebody's son" couldn't handle being out from under mom's skirt! Should've taught him to fight instead of dirt-farming! .

Baldur's Gate series Quotes about funny
#42741 The Books of Magic

Zatanna: Speak english, can't you? John Constantine: I speak perfect english. So does Tim. It's you that's got the funny accent. .

The Books of Magic Quotes about funny
#43060 Ellen DeGeneres

You have to have funny faces and words, you can't just have words. It is a powerful thing, and I think that's why it's hard for people to imagine that women can do that, be that powerful. .

Ellen DeGeneres Quotes about funny
#43128 Stephen King

And then a funny thing happened to me...except when I think about it, it wasn't very funny at all. There must be a line in all of us, a very clear one, just like the line that divides the light side of a planet from the dark. I think they call that line the terminator. That's a very good word for it. Because at that moment I was freaking out, and at the next I was as cool as a cucumber. .

Stephen King Quotes about funny
#43739 J. D. Salinger

It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to. .

J. D. Salinger Quotes about funny
#44358 Richard Stallman

It is funny, but I’m disappointed that it accentuates the shallow. .

Richard Stallman Quotes about funny
#45489 L. Frank Baum

It was Toto that made Dorothy laugh, and saved her from growing as gray as her other surroundings. Toto was not gray; he was a little black dog, with long silky hair and small black eyes that twinkled merrily on either side of his funny, wee nose. .

L. Frank Baum Quotes about funny
#45552 Chuck Palahniuk

The journalist researches a story. The novelist imagines it. What’s funny is, you’d be amazed at the amount of time a novelist has to spend with people in order to create this single lonely voice. This seemingly isolated world. It’s hard to call any of my novels “fiction.” .

Chuck Palahniuk Quotes about funny
#45580 Monty Python's Flying Circus

[to a man whose wife has been eaten alive by a blancmange] Detective Inspector: I think what's happened is terribly, terribly funny... er, tragic! .

Monty Python's Flying Circus Quotes about funny
#47418 Peter Ustinov

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. .

Peter Ustinov Quotes about funny
#48027 Richard Brautigan

if a girl likes me a lot and starts getting real nervous and suddenly begins asking me funny questions and looks sad if I give the wrong answers and she says things like, "Do you think it's going to rain?" and I say, "It beats me," and she says, "Oh," and looks a little sad at the clear blue California sky, I think: Thank God, it's you, baby, this time   Instead of me. .

Richard Brautigan Quotes about funny
#49031 Red Dwarf

Rimmer: [discussing his last exam] Lister, last time I only failed by the narrowest of narrow margins. Lister: You what? You walked in there, wrote "I AM A FISH" four hundred times, did a funny little dance and fainted! Rimmer: That's a total lie. Lister: No, it's not. Peterson told me. Rimmer: "No, it's not. Peterson told me." Lister, if you must know, I submitted a discourse on porous circuitry that was too... radical, too unconventional, too mould-breaking for the examiners to accept. Lister: Yeah. You said you were a fish! .

Red Dwarf Quotes about funny
#50952 Isaac Asimov

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...' .

Isaac Asimov Quotes about funny
#51398 Karen Abbott

I think the most important thing journalism taught me is to mine for details. The details are key. You can't try to be funny or strange or poignant; you have to let the details be funny or strange or poignant for you. .

Karen Abbott Quotes about funny
#51835 Casey Abrams

I like kissing people because it's funny. .

Casey Abrams Quotes about funny
#52391 Charlie Adam

It's funny being the big news every day - and the good news every day. .

Charlie Adam Quotes about funny
#52456 Amy Adams

When I was younger, my sister thought it was funny to pretend to punch me in the face because my mom was concerned about my teeth falling out. They were loose for a long time, and she knocked out my teeth. .

Amy Adams Quotes about funny
#52575 Gaines Adams

It's funny, as a little kid, you look up to those guys who you play as in 'Madden,' and now to see myself in the game, it's an honor. .

Gaines Adams Quotes about funny
#52703 Joey Lauren Adams

The last person they expected to connect with a screenplay was the comedic, blonde actress with the funny voice. .

Joey Lauren Adams Quotes about funny
#52985 Naima Adedapo

It's funny because a lot of people that know me as a dancer, don't know that I'm a singer, and a lot of people that know I can sing don't know I can dance. And so, I feel like at some point I have to show them both and really be able to display it and showcase it, and put that out there. .

Naima Adedapo Quotes about funny
#53436 Uzo Aduba

I try to play serious scenes a little funny and the comedy a little serious. .

Uzo Aduba Quotes about funny
#54224 Malin Akerman

The funny thing is that my husband couldn't be sweeter. He looks like this bad boy. He's got tattoos and earrings and a mohawk, but when you talk to him and he's around you, he's such a gentleman. He holds doors for ladies. He pulls out chairs. He cooks. He cleans. .

Malin Akerman Quotes about funny

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