humor quotes

#3683 Woody Allen

Rabbi Raditz of Poland was a very short rabbi with a long beard, who was said to have inspired manywith his sense of humor. One of his disciples asked, "Who did God like better,or ?" "Abraham," the Zaddik said. "But Moses led the Israelites to the Promised Land," said the disciple. "All right, so Moses," the Zaddik answered. .

Woody Allen Quotes about humor
#4034 Francis Bacon

To spend too much time in studies is sloth; to use them too much for ornament, is affectation; to make judgment wholly by their rules, is the humor of a scholar. They perfect nature, and are perfected by experience: for natural abilities are like natural plants, that need proyning, by study; and studies themselves, do give forth directions too much at large, except they be bounded in by experience. .

Francis Bacon Quotes about humor
#4051 Dave Barry

A sense of humor is a measurement of the extent to which we realize that we are trapped in a world almost totally devoid of reason. Laughter is how we express the anxiety we feel at this knowledge. .

Dave Barry Quotes about humor
#4446 Ralph Waldo Emerson

Characters and talents are complemental and suppletory. The world stands by balanced antagonisms. The more the peculiarities are pressed the better the result. The air would rot without lightning; and without the violence of direction that men have, without bigots, without men of fixed idea, no excitement, no efficiency.The novelist should not make any character act absurdly, but only absurdly as seen by others. For it is so in life. Nonsense will not keep its unreason if you come into the humorist's point of view, but unhappily we find it is fast becoming sense, and we must flee again into the distance if we would laugh. .

Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes about humor
#5190 Mark Twain

The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it. .

Mark Twain Quotes about humor
#5986 Stephen Leacock

Many of my friends are under the impression that I write these humorous nothings in idle moments when the wearied brain is unable to perform the serious labours of the economist. My own experience is exactly the other way. The writing of solid, instructive stuff fortified by facts and figures is easy enough. There is no trouble in writing a scientific treatise on the folk-lore of Central China, or a statistical enquiry into the declining population of Prince Edward Island. But to write something out of one's own mind, worth reading for its own sake, is an arduous contrivance only to be achieved in fortunate moments, few and far between. Personally, I would sooner have written "Alice in Wonderland" than the whole Encyclopaedia Britannica. .

Stephen Leacock Quotes about humor
#6534 Will Rogers

You've got to be optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one. .

Will Rogers Quotes about humor
#6551 Will Rogers

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. .

Will Rogers Quotes about humor
#7461 P. J. O'Rourke

Neither conservatives nor humorists believe man is good. But left-wingers do. .

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes about humor
#8005 StanisЕ‚aw Lem

If man had more of a sense of humor, things might have turned out differently. .

StanisЕ‚aw Lem Quotes about humor
#8958 Bill Watterson

Calvin: Isn't it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor? When you think about it, it's weird that we have a physiological response to absurdity. We laugh at nonsense. We like it. We think it's funny. Don't you think it's odd that we appreciate absurdity? Why would we develop that way? How does it benefit us? Hobbes: I suppose if we couldn't laugh at things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life. Calvin: (after a long pause) I can't tell if that's funny or really scary. p64 (19 Apr 92) .

Bill Watterson Quotes about humor
#9003 Bill Watterson

[Calvin is posing in his underwear in front of his mirror.] Calvin: Made in God's own image, yes sir! Hobbes: God must have a goofy sense of humor. p31 .

Bill Watterson Quotes about humor
#9090 Robert Benchley

Nine-tenths of the value of a sense of humor in writing is not in the things it makes one write but in the things it keeps one from writing. It is especially valuable in this respect in serious writing, and no one without a sense of humor should ever write seriously. For without knowing what is funny, one is constantly in danger of being funny without knowing it. .

Robert Benchley Quotes about humor
#9097 Robert Benchley

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them. .

Robert Benchley Quotes about humor
#9373 John Lennon

I think our opposition, whoever they may be, in all their manifest forms, don't know how to handle humor… we stand a better chance under that guise, because all the serious people, like , and , and , got shot. .

John Lennon Quotes about humor
#9388 John Lennon

That's part of our policy, is not to be taken seriously, because I think our opposition, whoever they may be, in all their manifest forms, don't know how to handle humor. You know, and we are humorous, we are, what are they, . That's John and , and we stand a better chance under that guise, because all the serious people, like , and , and , got shot. .

John Lennon Quotes about humor
#13058 G. K. Chesterton

The humorous look of children is perhaps the most endearing of all the bonds that hold the Cosmos together. .

G. K. Chesterton Quotes about humor
#13061 G. K. Chesterton

The humorous look of children is perhaps the most endearing of all the bonds that hold the Cosmos together. Their top-heavy dignity is more touching than any humility; their solemnity gives us more hope for all things than a thousand carnivals of optimism; their large and lustrous eyes seem to hold all the stars in their astonishment; their fascinating absence of nose seems to give to us the most perfect hint of the humour that awaits us in the kingdom of heaven. .

G. K. Chesterton Quotes about humor
#18657 Joseph Addison

Exercise ferments the humors, casts them into their proper channels, throws off redundancies, and helps nature in those secret distributions, without which the body cannot subsist in its vigor, nor the soul act with cheerfulness. .

Joseph Addison Quotes about humor
#18671 Joseph Addison

Were I to prescribe a rule for drinking, it should be formed upon a saying quoted by Sir : the first glass for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the fourth for mine enemies. .

Joseph Addison Quotes about humor
#22001 Pinky and the Brain

Brain: [Referring to Pinky’s comic book] Pinky, who would want to read about two lab mice trying to take over the world? Who would want to read about my failures? Pinky: Oh, believe me, Brain, to a human, our nightly exploits would be a humorous diversion that would magically transmute the dreary workaday world into a fanciful realm of zany hijinks! .

Pinky and the Brain Quotes about humor
#22405 Margaret Cho

I see evidence of my own racist brainwashing when exploring the landscape of current foreign policy. (about North Korea) My association is so painfully cloe that avoidance is the only way I know to retain my identity. Its ridiculous and embarrassing. I hate feeling this way, because it forces me to see how deeply racism has affected me. Prejudice and bigotry rot me from within, and the strains of these viruses are hearty and hard to kill. I had always regarded the world of political humor as the exclusive domain of white men and immediately disqualified myself from participation. I know better now, its immensely pleasing when I'm referred to as a political comedian... Self-hatred is a devastatingly difficult habit to break, especially when we are mostly unaware of it. .

Margaret Cho Quotes about humor
#23726 George Santayana

England is the paradise of individuality, eccentricity, heresy, anomalies, hobbies, and humors. .

George Santayana Quotes about humor
#24121 Miguel de Unamuno

Not without reason did he who had the right to do so speak of the foolishness of the cross. Foolishness, without a doubt, foolishness. And the American humorist, , was not altogether wide of the mark in making one of the characters in his ingenious conversations say that he thought better of those who were confined in a lunatic asylum on account of religious mania than of those who, while professing the same religious principles, kept their wits and appeared to enjoy life very well outside the asylums. But those who are at large, are they not really, thanks to God, mad too? Are there not mild madnesses, which not only permit us to mix with our neighbors without danger to society, but which rather enable us to do so, for by means of them we are able to attribute a meaning and finality to life and society? .

Miguel de Unamuno Quotes about humor
#24606 Montesquieu

Better it is to say that themost comfortable tois that which best agrees with the humor and disposition of thein whose favor it is established. .

Montesquieu Quotes about humor
#25011 W. Somerset Maugham

You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humour teaches tolerance, and the humorist, with a smile and perhaps a sigh, is more likely to shrug his shoulders than to condemn. .

W. Somerset Maugham Quotes about humor
#26162 Stephanie Zacharek

[I]t pretends to examine how self-absorbed we are as a culture, only to be consumed by its own self-absorption. It's also badly constructed, humorless and emotionally sadistic. .

Stephanie Zacharek Quotes about humor
#26514 Emil Cioran

The ideal being? An angel ravaged by humor. .

Emil Cioran Quotes about humor
#26630 Emil Cioran

We are all of us in error, the humorists excepted. They alone have discerned, as though in jest, the inanity of all that is serious and even of all that is frivolous. .

Emil Cioran Quotes about humor
#27571 William Temple

When all is done, human life is, at the greatest, and the best, but like a froward child, that must be played with and humored a little to keep it quiet till it falls asleep, and then the care is over. .

William Temple Quotes about humor
#29328 J. R. R. Tolkien

I am in fact a Hobbit (in all but size). I like gardens, trees, and unmechanized farmlands; I smoke a pipe, and like good plain food (unrefrigerated), but detest French cooking; I like, and even dare to wear in these dull days, ornamental waistcoats. I am fond of mushrooms (out of a field); have a very simple sense of humor (which even my appreciative critics find tiresome); I go to bed late and get up late (when possible). I do not travel much. .

J. R. R. Tolkien Quotes about humor
#31335 Andr© Breton

As we liked to do as children, , extracting from the soft forest floor the light chestnut trees only a few centimeters high at the base of which the chestnut continues to shine to the sun its clods of soil from the past, the chestnut conserving all of its presence and witnessing with its presence the power of green hands, of shadow, of airy white or pink pyramids of dances… and of future chestnuts which, under new dust, would be discovered by the marveled sight of other children. It is in this perspective that the work of , more than any other, should be situated. He found the most vital in himself in the secrets of this germinating life where the most minimal detail is of the greatest importance, where, on the other hand, the distinction between the elements becomes meaningless, adopting a peculiar under the rock humor permanently. .

Andr© Breton Quotes about humor
#31536 Neal Stephenson

Now, at the little southern black college where I went to school, we had no megadorms. We were cool at the right times and academic at the right times .... Boston University, where I did my Master's ... most students had no time for sonic war, and the rest vented their humors in the city, not in the dorms. Ohio State was nicely spread out, and I lived in an apartment complex where noisy shit-for-brains undergrads were even less welcome than tweedy black bachelors. .

Neal Stephenson Quotes about humor
#32241 Robert Heinlein

Cats have no sense of humor, they have terribly inflated egos, and they are very touchy. .

Robert Heinlein Quotes about humor
#32952 Seinfeld

: I think Superman probably has a very good sense of humor. : I never heard him say anything really funny. Jerry: But it's common sense. He's got super strength, super speed.. I'm sure he's got super humor. George: You would think that, but either you're born with a sense of humor, or you're not. It's not going to change even if you go from the red sun of Krypton all the way to the yellow sun of the Earth. Jerry: Why? Why would that one area of his mind not be affected by the yellow sun of Earth? George: I don't know but he ain't funny. .

Seinfeld Quotes about humor
#32964 Principia Discordia

Sometimes I takeseriously. Sometimes I take seriousness humorously. .

Principia Discordia Quotes about humor
#32967 Principia Discordia

Some excerpts from an interview with Malaclypse the Younger by THE GREATER METROPOLITAN YORBA LINDA HERALD-NEWS-SUN-TRIBUNE-JOURNAL-DISPATCH-POST AND SAN FRANCISCO DISCORDIAN SOCIETY CABAL BULLETIN AND INTERGALACTIC REPORT & POPE POOP. GREATER POOP: Are you really serious or what? MAL-2: Sometimes I takeseriously. Sometimes I take seriousness humorously. Either way it is irrelevant. .

Principia Discordia Quotes about humor
#36251 Will Cuppy

I am billed as a humorist, but of course I am a tragedian at heart. .

Will Cuppy Quotes about humor
#38104 Hermann G¶ring

If I didn't have a sense of humor, how could I stand this trial now? .

Hermann G¶ring Quotes about humor
#38654 Gore Vidal

...American society, literary or lay, tends to be humorless. What other culture could have produced someone like Hemingway and not seen the joke? .

Gore Vidal Quotes about humor
#39562 Logic

These, briefly, are the key elements of the stereotype: logic cripples and constrains; it forces one into narrow and mechanical modes of thought that cut one off from a vast range of superior thoughts, feelings and perceptions; logic is an enemy of wit and humor ( face was always an impassive mask); logic makes us dull and pedantic (Mr. Spock always spoke in a monotone); logic presupposes a simple-minded, black-and-white, yes-no conception of the world. ... Logic misses the point of half the things we ordinarily say and cannot match the insight of the humblest person's common sense. .

Logic Quotes about humor
#41832 Bill Hicks

Good evening, my name is Bill Hicks. I've been on the road now doing comedy 12 years, so, uh, bear with me while I plaster on a fake smile and plow through this shit one more time. … I'm kinda tired of traveling, kinda tired of doing comedy, kinda tired of staring out at your blank faces looking back at me, wanting me to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn't possibly think of yourselves. .

Bill Hicks Quotes about humor
#42724 The Books of Magic

: Four cards: Everything is here, child. Elements, humors, and the corners of the world. Hmm. All major arcana, although I'd've been surprised had they been anything else... .

The Books of Magic Quotes about humor
#43171 Stephen King

It's probably wrong to believe there can be any limit to the horror which the human mind can experience. On the contrary, it seems that some exponential effect begins to obtain as deeper and deeper darkness falls - as little as one may like to support the idea that when the nightmare grows black enough, horror spawns horror, one coincidental evil begets other, often more deliberate evils, until finally blackness seems to cover everything. And the most terrifying question of all may be just how much horror the human mind can stand and still maintain a wakeful, staring, unrelenting sanity. That such events have their ownabsurdity goes almost without saying. At some point, it all starts to become rather funny. That may be the point at which sanity begins either to save itself or to buckle and break down; that point at which one's sense of humor begins to reassert itself. .

Stephen King Quotes about humor
#43735 J. D. Salinger

The thing is, it's really hard to be roommates with people if your suitcases are much better than theirs - if yours are really good ones and theirs aren't. You think if they're intelligent and all, the other person, and have a good sense of humor, that they don't give a damn whose suitcases are better, but they do. They really do. It's one of the reasons why I roomed with a stupid bastard like Stradlater. At least his suitcases were as good as mine. .

J. D. Salinger Quotes about humor
#43743 J. D. Salinger

He said I was unequipped to meet life because I had no sense of humor. .

J. D. Salinger Quotes about humor
#43900 James Branch Cabell

The Wardens of Earth sometimes unbar strange windows, I suspect — windows which face on other worlds than ours: and They permit this-or-that man to peer out fleetingly, perhaps, just for the joke's sake; since always They humorously contrive matters so this man shall never be able to convince his fellows of what he has seen or of the fact that he was granted any peep at all. The Wardens without fail arrange what we call — gravely, too — "some natural explanation." .

James Branch Cabell Quotes about humor
#43966 James Branch Cabell

At the gate of the garden, beside thepost which stood there in eternal erection, sat a boy who was diverting himself by whittling, with a small green-handled knife, a bit of cedar-wood into the quaint shaping which the post had. His hair was darkly red: and now, as he regarded Alfgar with brown and wide-set eyes, the face of this boy was humorously grave, and he nodded now, as the complacent artist nods who looks upon his advancing work and finds all to be near his wishes. .

James Branch Cabell Quotes about humor
#44711 Generation X: Tales For An Accelerated Culture

earth tones - a youthful subgroup interested in vegetarianism, tie-dyed outfits, mild recreational drugs, and good stereo equipment. Earnest, frequently lacking in humor. (page 26) .

Generation X: Tales For An Accelerated Culture Quotes about humor
#45143 Walt Disney

Thechild is a highlyhuman being — characteristically sensitive, humorous, open-minded, eager to learn, and has a strong sense of excitement, energy, and healthyabout thein which he lives.indeed is the grown-up who manages to carry these same characteristics into adult life. It usually makes for aand. .

Walt Disney Quotes about humor

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