If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything. ➡

Meeting Roosevelt was like uncorking your first bottle of champagne. ➡

Everyone needs a coach. It doesn't matter whether you're a basketball player, a tennis player, a gymnast or a bridge player. ➡

It isn't the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it's the pebble in your shoe. ➡

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. ➡

I have understood you! ➡

Theis tothat under a dictatorialyou can beinside. ➡

Man, I was tame compared to what they do now. Are you kidding? I didn't do anything but just jiggle. ➡

Whether you can observe a thing or not depends on the theory which you use. It is the theory which decides what can be observed. ➡

Will you still need me,will you still feed me..When Im sixty-four? ➡

It's all to do with the training: you can do a lot if you're properly trained. ➡

I dont dislike babies, though I think very young ones rather disgusting. ➡

On the day I became Soviet leader, in March 1985, I had a special meeting with the leaders of the Warsaw Pact countries and told them: 'You are independent, and we are independent. You are responsible for your policies, we are responsible for ours. We will not intervene in your affairs, I promise you.' ➡

Facts are facts and will not disappear on account of your likes. ➡

If you wish to make a figure in marble, first make one of clay, and when you have finished it, let it dry and place it in a case which should be large enough, after the figure is taken out of it, to receive also the marble, from which you intend to reveal the figure in imitation of the one in clay. ➡

Not one word, not one gesture of yours shall I, could I, ever forget... ➡

[Speaking of computers] But they are useless. They can only give you answers. ➡

Now I think I know what you tried to say to me How you suffered for your sanity How you tried to set them free They would not listen theyre not listening still Perhaps they never will ➡

Are you laboring under the impression that I read these memoranda of yours? I can't even lift them. ➡

Stand for something or you will fall for anything. Todays mighty oak is yesterdays nut that held its ground. ➡

And I just want to tell you this — we're in favor of a lot of things and we're against mighty few. ➡

It doesnt matter who you are, where you come from. The ability to triumph begins with you. Always. ➡

If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them. ➡

What are you doing with a car here in 1860? ➡

Well, I think we tried very hard not to be overconfident, because when you get overconfident, that's when something snaps up and bites you. ➡

I can promise that a year from now, when I no longer hold this office, Ill be right there with you as a citizen. ➡

Sitting at the table doesn't make you a diner, unless you eat some of what's on that plate. Being here in America doesn't make you an American. Being born here in America doesn't make you an American. ➡

I don't like to write like God. It is only because you never do it, though, that the critics think you can't do it. ➡

You have to be! (Laughs) You might get shot! ➡

You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do. ➡

Do you remember the tsar? Well, I‘m like a tsar. ➡

It is not whether you really cry. It's whether the audience thinks you are crying. ➡

"She said that she would dance with me if I brought her red roses," cried the young Student; "but in all my garden there is no red rose." ➡

Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty. ➡

Never interrupt someone doing what you said couldn't be done. ➡

If you win, you need not have to explain...If you lose, you should not be there to explain! ➡

The way you make me feel, You really turn me on, You knock me off my feet, My lonely days are gone.The Way You Make Me Feel ➡

"Beauty is where you find it." (Lyrics from ) ➡

Dont let the noise of others opinions drown out your own inner voice. ➡

If you read the letter, you will find there is nothing wrong with it. ➡

It might be said of psychoanalysis that if you give it your little finger it will soon have your whole hand. ➡

I voted for you during your last election. (To President Richard M Nixon) ➡

If you obey all the rules, youll miss all the fun. ➡

I've been lucky. Opportunities don't often come along. So, when they do, you have to grab them. ➡

Come on... when you're running, if you see you're going to win, you're going to celebrate. ➡

Father told me that if I ever met a lady in a dress like yours, I must look her straight in the eyes. ➡

If they dont like Scientology, fuck you. Really. Fuck you. ➡

Be bold. If you’re going to make an error, make a doozy. ➡

The original idea of the web was that it should be a collaborative space where you can communicate through sharing information. ➡

If you worried about falling off the bike, you'd never get on. ➡

dont pee in my toilet,because i dont swim in yours ➡

If you watch the news and dont like it, then this is your counter program to the news. ➡

What you learn after youre 40 is its just about plugging up holes in the boat. ➡

You must lose everything in order to gain anything. ➡

Did you know that Dairy Queen ice cream is mostly bubbles? ➡

When you reach the top of the mountain, keep climbing. ➡

This morning, you can be on his right hand and his left hand if you serve. It's the only way in. ➡

Senatorand I will win this election and make these Republicans like it — don't forget that! We will do that because they are wrong and we are right, and I will prove it to you in just a few minutes. ➡

What then did you expect when you unbound the gag that muted those black mouths? That they would chant your praises? Did you think that when those heads that our fathers had forcibly bowed down to the ground were raised again, you would find adoration in their eyes? ➡

Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen. ➡

Send me 300 francs; that sum will enable me to go to Paris. There, at least, one can cut a figure and surmount obstacles. Everything tells me I shall succeed. Will you prevent me from doing so for the want of 100 crowns? ➡

There is a big black hat and it makes you invisible. Have you heard of that hat? You put it on and then no one can see you. ➡

You come most carefully upon your hour. ➡

A pox o' your throat, you bawling, blasphemous, incharitable dog! ➡

Even now, now, very now, an old black ram Is tupping your white ewe. ➡

Mend your speech a little, Lest you may mar your fortunes. ➡

Why should you call me to account for eating decently? ➡

Or maybe she decided that an evening with your old tutor would be blisteringly dull and opted for the more exhilarating course of washing her hair instead. Dear me, I know what I would have done. It's only lack of hair that forces me to pursue such a hectic social round these days. ➡

Be content with your lot; one cannot be first in everything. ➡

The film studios learned to our dismay but to their pleasure that if they spent $200 million making a film they could make half a billion on it. So they were not interested anymore in quality films… They can’t afford to be that risky at those prices. Consequently you’re getting a lot of remakes, sequels, dopey comedies full of toilet jokes… ➡

I read your piece on Plato. Holmes, when you strike at a king, you must kill him. ➡

You Americans, you treat the Third World in the way an Iraqi peasant treats his new bride. Three days of honeymoon, and then it's off to the fields ➡

Steady Monty. You can't speak to me like that. I'm your boss. ➡

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. ➡

It is not enough to be industrious; so are the ants. What are you industrious about? ➡

Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries. ➡

An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out. ➡

You’re close, but you left a little something off. The "e" on the end. ➡

The idea that you can merchandise candidates for high office like breakfast cereal — that you can gather votes like box tops — is, I think, the ultimate indignity to the democratic process. ➡

No, it turns out Saddam Hussein didn't have weapons of mass destruction. And how crazy does that make Saddam? All he had to do was tell Hans Blix, 'Look anywhere you want. Look under the bed. Look beneath the couch. Look behind the toilet tank in the third presidential palace on the left, but keep your mitts off my copies of Maxim.' And Saddam could have gone on dictatoring away until Donald Rumsfeld gets elected head of the World Council of Churches. But no . . . ➡

I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail. ➡

Do not elicit your child's political opinions. He doesn't know any more than you do. ➡

The Tao is like a bellows: it is empty yet infinitely capable.The more you use it, the more it produces; the more you talk of it, the less you understand. ➡

I ran three miles today... finally I said, "Lady, take your purse." ➡

You have there hit the nail on the head. ➡

You are only a puppet. But you don't realize that you are. ➡

You are a den of vipers and . I have determined to rout you out and, by the , I will rout you out! ➡

I used to be Irish Catholic; Now I'm an American. You know, you grow. O Beautiful, for smoggy skies, insecticided grain ➡

For I am shave as neigh as any frere. But yit I praye unto youre curteisye: Beeth hevy again, or elles moot I die. ➡

Shakspeare never has six lines together without a fault. Perhaps you may find seven: but this does not refute my general assertion. ➡

All is in the hands of Man. Therefore you should wash them often. ➡

WAP! WAP! WAP! Calvin is hammering nails into a coffee table Calvin's Mom: CALVIN!!! What are you DOING to the coffee table?!?! Calvin: pauses, looks at the table Calvin: Is this some sort of trick question, or what? p. 23 ➡

The important thing, once you have enough to eat and a nice house, is what you can do for others, what you can contribute to the enterprise as a whole. ➡

We are all agreed that your theory is crazy. The question that divides us is whether it is crazy enough to have a chance of being correct. ➡

IS WATCHING YOU. ➡

I handed my passport to the immigration officer, and he looked at it and looked at me and said, "What are you?" ➡

Sir, Would you allow me, grateful as I am for the kind reception you once extended to me, to show my concern about maintaining your well-deserved prestige and to point out that your star which, until now, has shone so brightly, risks being dimmed by the most shameful and indelible of stains? ➡

I have always been fond of the West African proverb "Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far." ➡

When your house is burning down, you don't worry about the remodeling. ➡

If you drink much from a bottle marked 'poison' it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later. ➡