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Comedian quotes

George Carlin, 1969.
George Carlin
In 1980, when I graduated from high school, my goal was to be on 'The Tonight Show' with Johnny Carson at least once before our ten-year class reunion. Our class reunion was in June of 1990, and I was on 'The Tonight Show' in April 1990, so I made it by a few months.
Jeff Dunham school
We want to do a lot of stuff; were not in great shape. We didnt get a good nights sleep. Were a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.
Jerry Seinfeld light