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Count Duckula

Von Goosewing: It is your fault! Its all your fault! It is always your fault! ARAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Count Duckula you
Hoomite: You are in the secret temple of the great god Ra. You have trespassed in Upshis sacred tomb.
Count Duckula god
Igor: Oh, its so ghoulishly gloomy, sir. Everythings so dismally dreary. Even the manacles in the dungeon are rusting nicely, me lord.
Count Duckula man
Duckula: notices the goblet Ah, carrot juice! Ha-hey! Just the thing! takes a gulp, but instantly groans in disgust Thats not carrot juice!
Count Duckula
Duckula: Oh, well thats all- AAH! leaps about, frantically gulping down water from a bucket and quacking wildly
Count Duckula wild
Juan Jose etc: Seize them! Bind them, jab them, prod them, and be generally unpleasant to them! And one last thing!
Count Duckula
Don Diego: Just because Im tall and handsome and brave and good and kind and wonderful I-I-I- have happen to chop up one or two of the villagers into tiny little bits now and again they dislike me! Ha ha, ha ha Well, except for the really fat ones. Im saving them for tonight.
Count Duckula good
Don Diego: Tonight is a fiesta for all the vampires from all over Spain! Therell be music, and a finger buffet with the real fingers. evilly Then - then - we chop up a whole village, then there is bingo to follow!
Count Duckula music
Duckula: Well, I wouldnt mind playing - no listen! I mean, you cannot chop up a whole village! Its not right! I will do anything to stop you.
Count Duckula mind
Don Diego: OK. But remember - El Loco is the most nastiest thing on four legs. Hell ripped up your body, and therell be bits of you you didnt even know you had. Aha!! Ahahaha!
Count Duckula hell
Duckula: Hmmm this mirrors filthy. I must tell Igor the clean it! Look at me! Sunken eyes and that flabby stomach - yuk! And, as for the face Boy, I need a break!
Count Duckula eyes
Evil Duckula: Forgive me for pointing that obvious. But you do know that vampires have no reflections.
Count Duckula evil
Evil Duckula: Mmmmm! What a beautiful throat you have! It blands so neatly into your neck! I want a neck just the right size for my teeth!
Count Duckula evil
Dimitri: the clock bats emerge for a daily dose of humour Hey, Svistoslav, that reminds me Whats the difference between a Yak and a Bison?
Count Duckula humour
Svistoslav: returning inside the clock But you cant wash your hands and face in a Bison, either
Count Duckula you
Duckula: Then why would we want to waste time chasing after werewolves to keep a werewolf that we dont have company?!
Count Duckula time

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